Lose Your Loneliness
Habits of Happiness Part 6
Luke 19:1-10
Steve Meenho Kang
www.evergreencommunity.org
Happiness is a choice.
If we want to be happy, we must choose to be happy.
And today we will talk about the importance of losing our loneliness.
We are living in the age of communication.
We have cell-phones, emails, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Yet sometimes we feel that there is no one to talk to.
We are living in the age of technology, yet sometimes we feel so distant from others.
We are living in the age of stimulation, yet sometimes we experience so much loneliness in our soul.
So many of us struggle with loneliness.
A survey from 2021 says that 46% of Americans feel lonely, while 47% feel left out.
People are social beings and we need others to rely on, to connect with them, and to thrive in life.
But it is difficult to have meaning relationships with others and even more so during this pandemic.
We are in a time of social distance, COVID isolation, and preventative measures.
Loneliness is real.
Loneliness is normal.
Loneliness is pervasive.
Even some very socially connected people can feel deep loneliness at times.
Therefore, loneliness is a common problem.
It is the painful awareness that we lack meaningful contact with others.
It involves a feeling of inner emptiness which can be accompanied by sadness, discouragement, a sense of isolation, restlessness, anxiety, and an intense desire to be wanted and needed by someone.
So how should we handle our loneliness?
Here are some common answers.
“If you only knew that God loves you, then you would not feel lonely.”
“If you marry someone who loves you, you would not feel lonely.”
May I dare to challenge these statements.
We need more than just the simple answers.
According to the passage that we read today, Jesus confronted a tax collector named Zacchaeus.
Through what Jesus said, we can learn that we need to experience three kinds of love in order to overcome the problem of loneliness.
I. We must receive love from others (vv. 1-7).
Some people call this ‘the need love.’
The need love is the love that says this:
“I want to belong. I want to be cared for. I want someone to take my hand. I want someone to put his arms around me. I want someone to come and give me a hug.”
This is the need love.
And we all need this kind of love.
Just like our bodies need water and food, we all need the need love to survive.
Verses 1-2 say this.
1 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy.
Jesus entered Jericho, which was a very wealthy town.
In Jericho, there was a man named Zacchaeus, who was a “chief tax collector.”
He held a higher office in the Roman tax system.
This was how the system worked.
An officer gained his income by extorting more money from the people than what he had to pay the Roman government.
Evidently this system worked well for Zacchaeus because he was a wealthy person.
However, during that time, tax collectors were put in the same category with prostitutes.
They were considered as terrible sinners.
It was because they were collecting taxes for the Romans.
They were considered traitors.
Therefore, even though he was wealthy, he was lonely.
He had a longing for the need love.
Verses 3-4 say this.
3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.
Zacchaeus heard about Jesus.
And when he heard that Jesus was coming to town, he went out to see Jesus.
However, there were so many people ahead of him.
He also was vertically challenged.
He could not see Jesus.
He, therefore, ran ahead of the crowd, and climbed a tree to see Jesus.
Verses 5-7 say this.
5 When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. 7 All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”
When Jesus reached the spot where Zacchaeus was, He stopped.
And He told Zacchaeus that He had to stay with him.
Zacchaeus came down from the tree immediately and welcomed him gladly.
Now, “all the people” complained that Jesus was staying with a sinner.
Zacchaeus was a tax collector.
He was despised by others.
He had no friends except other tax collectors.
When Jesus said that He was staying in Zacchaeus’ house, Zacchaeus realized that Jesus accepted and loved a sinner like him.
Jesus satisfied his need love.
Even though it was not a popular thing to do, Jesus knew that Zacchaeus needed that need love, and Jesus provided him with that love.
Just like Zacchaeus, we need to experience the need love in order to overcome the feeling of loneliness.
We need to experience and know that someone loves us.
We need to receive love from others around us.
We need to receive love from our parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, other Christians in church.
We must receive love from others.
II. We must give love to others (v. 8).
Some people call this ‘the gift love.’
The gift love is the love that we give to others.
When Mother Teresa poured out her life and affection to the destitute on the streets of India, it was a gift love.
We understand the gift love.
It is the love that we give to others.
This is what Zacchaeus expressed after he received the need love from Jesus.
Verse 8 says this.
But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”
Zacchaeus’ announcement sounded crazy.
He said that he would give half of his possessions to the poor.
That was a lot of money.
And if he had cheated anybody out of anything, he would pay back four times the amount.
There is no doubt that Zacchaeus had really “cheated” people.
But four times the amount was far more than what the Old Testament specified for restitution.
Leviticus 5:16 and Numbers 5:7 say that they should add a fifth of the value to it and give it to the person they have wronged.
But Zacchaeus said that he will pay back four times the amount.
His offer was unusually generous.
It was the sign of his repentance.
After his need love was satisfied by Jesus, he decided to use what he had for the poor.
And if he had cheated anyone, he would pay back four times of what he cheated.
It is a gift love that he expressed here.
Most people in the world give their gift love to others.
We give our love to our parents, spouse, and children.
However, the scope of our gift love is usually small.
We only love a few people in the world.
And we need to expand our gift love.
We must understand this important truth:
The more love we give, the more we will be happy.
Most people think that they will be happy if they are loved by more people.
In some sense, it is true.
It is true that we will be happier when we are loved by more people.
However, we cannot be loved by others, if we do not love them first.
Unless we give ‘the gift love’ to others, we cannot receive ‘the need love’ from others.
The more love we give to others, more love we will receive from others.
But sadly, nowadays people either refuse to or do not know how to give ‘the gift love’ to others.
That is why they do not receive ‘the need love’ that they desperately want from others.
We must give love to others.
We all understand this.
We need ‘the need love’ and ‘the gift love.’
But we need something else.
Yes, we need to receive love from others, and we need to give love to others.
However, in order to overcome our loneliness, we need to go beyond that.
Which is my third point.
III. We must receive love from God (vv. 9-10).
Verses 9-10 say this.
9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
Salvation did not “come to this house” because Zacchaeus finally did a good deed.
But he was “a son of Abraham” because he believed that Jesus was the Messiah and became a Jesus-follower.
Therefore, he became a spiritual descendant of Abraham.
This tells us the heart of Jesus’ ministry.
Jesus came to seek and save the lost.
And He sought after and found another of the “lost” in Jericho.
He used this occasion and the criticism of the people as an opportunity to restate His mission.
This whole incident is the perfect example of His mission.
Zacchaeus received affirmation from Jesus that he is forgiven by God and received into the family of God.
Some people call this ‘the divine love.’
This is the missing elements in many people’s lives.
Perhaps this is why so many people are living existentially lonely.
If they feel lonely even though they receive love from others and give love to others, what they need is the divine love.
Our loneliness is only effectively dealt with when we experience love from God.
Yes, we need to receive love from people.
Yes, we need to give love to others.
However, beyond all that, we need to experience the divine love from God.
A person who understands and experiences the love of God can truly overcome loneliness.
Let me illustrate this.
Terry Anderson was an American journalist.
He was a reporter for the Associated Press.
In 1985, he was taken hostage by Shiite Hezbollah militants and held until 1991.
On March 16, 1985, Anderson had just finished a tennis game when he was abducted from the street in Beirut.
He was placed in the trunk of a car, and taken to a secret location where he was imprisoned.
For the next six years and nine months, he was held captive.
After his release, he said that in the dark dungeon in Beirut, he learned to overcome loneliness by worshipping God.
He was lying in chain in a dark room.
He was given no books to read.
He was held in bondage by the Muslim radicals.
But he overcame loneliness by worshipping God.
There, he found out that even though he was alone, he had something in his heart that was greater than the darkness around him.
He found out what it is to worship in the inner most being.
He learned to overcome loneliness by worshipping God.
Yes, we need to receive love from others.
Yes, we need to give love to others.
However, without receiving love from God, we will never completely overcome our loneliness.
Why is that?
It is because only God can fill that void in our hearts.
That is why Augustine said, “You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You.”
And Pascal said, “There is a God shaped vacuum in every heart that only God can fill.”
Complete fulfillment comes not just when we receive love from others and give our love to others.
That fulfillment comes when we receive love from God.
We must receive love from God.
Conclusion
When we learn to overcome our loneliness, we will avoid pains of giving into feelings of loneliness.
We must receive love from others.
We must give love to others.
But more than these…
We must receive love from God.
This is how we can be truly happy in this lonely world.
