May I speak in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
As I reflected on the year that we have had since the last time we gathered for this service in 2020, none of us could have imagined that what we were experiencing would still be prevalent in our lives, and for many people the sense of loss that they have still feels so raw within their lives.
As we gather here in person instead of on screen, we all have something in common which has brought us to this service. The loss of one or more loved ones, and as we join together in the words of the service, the hymns and the prayers, we can draw comfort from one another as a community.
But this service of commemoration also gives us the opportunity to reflect on the many memories we cherish and hold onto as we let go of our loved one’s presence with us daily, and entrust them to our loving Father in heaven.
One of the greatest gifts that God has given us is the Gift of Memories, and whether our loved one died recently or in years gone by, We now treasure the memory of those times that we have had together. Times of joy, times of sorrow, times of sadness and times of fun, and the memory of how they enriched our lives continues in our remembrance.
It’s also fair to say that The Bible is a book of memories. Memories of God and how he nurtured his chosen people in the good and bad times in their lives. Our first reading from Ecclesiastes spoke about the different times they encountered, and how these experiences shaped their lives.
For some here it will still be very much a time to mourn, where some gathered will want to weep as an expression of your sorrow, and this is perfectly right and natural to do.
For others it may be a time of healing as they have passed through the initial grief, and are now beginning to come to terms with the loss, and although we know that our loss will never fully leave us, in time many of us will come to a time of laughter, where recalling the happy memories brings us joy and happiness rather than the feeling of total loss which can at times feel all consuming,
Thirty-Seven years ago when I lost my dad I didn’t believe that life could be happy or joyful again, and the feeling of loss was so raw that to do anything else but mourn would have felt wrong.
Over the years my view of loss and death has altered considerably, and much of this has been through the privilege I have had of walking with countless families as they have prepared for their loved one’s funeral. Every time I meet a family, I don’t know what to expect, sometimes they are overcome by the grief of loss, and at other times there can be a feeling of peace. I sometimes meet a family who are able to laugh because of the character of the person who has died, but more often than not I see the tears of love and sadness in their eyes as they begin to come to terms with their loss.
It is through all of these experiences I have learnt the healing power of the happy memories that are held within a family. It doesn’t diminish the loss in any way, instead it allows the family to cherish their loved one in a way which can feel unexpected.
A little while ago I was given this poem by Clare Capron which is based on a passage of scripture in Pauls second letter to the Corinthians, the words have stayed with me and I would like to share them with you
The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away
the dearest objects of our earthly love.
Now they are safe in His almighty keeping
safe in the Home prepared by Him above.
Neither could we have faced the final parting
but for His consolation deep and strong.
He came to find and heal the broken-hearted
to even change their grief to song.
It is as we accept the way of trial
relinquish to him what we hold most dear.
That He “the God of comfort” and of mercies
will ever draw us to Himself more near.
He will enrich our lives beyond expecting
just by the very things He takes away.
And will enable us to be a means of comfort
to others in distress one future day.
This poem encapsulates one of the questions which is most often on the hearts of those who are bereaved. What happens after death?
It is through our second reading from St John’s Gospel that we begin to see an answer to that question. We recall that through Christ’s death and resurrection that we as Christians are given new life through him.
Through this act he proves himself to be the Son of God, the one who can bring hope to each of us, and that His message of hope reminds us that death isn’t the end, it’s the beginning of a new closer relationship with God for our loved ones, and as we remember them, we give thanks that Christ has reminded us that there is a place in the eternal Kingdom for all of his children.
The pain of death, and the grief that comes with it affects each of us in different ways, and we each have to walk through it in our own way. There will be days when the burden is light, and others when it’s heavy, but whatever day today is, we also know that we have a God who walks with us, brings comfort to us in our sadness and shares the joy that we have in recalling the happy memories and times we shared.
As we gather, we bring the whole person that we have lost from sight, and I encourage us all not to just focus on respecting them through our sadness, but to draw on all the memories we cherish, and perhaps over time smile, and even laugh as we recall the way they enriched our lives.
Today we remember them all and as we move forward, let us always know and be assured of God’s love, care and comfort for us throughout our lives, until that time when he calls us home and we are reunited with our loved one.
Amen.
