The Patent on Parenting and Grandparenting
What’s the best way to know if you are a parent? Admitting that sometimes you wash with baby wipes in the morning to save time.
It’s driving around at 3 am in the morning, listening to soft Christian music, so little Johnny will finally fall asleep and you can too.
It’s hearing your son or daughter cry because you cut their sandwich in 4 squares and they wanted triangles.
It’s being interrupted 75 times when you’re trying to tell someone else a story.
It’s realizing that when you clean your house, it’s like shoveling the sidewalk in the middle of a snowstorm.
And lastly, if you can’t find your kids, lie down for a minute, they’ll find you.
Joking aside, in the form of an Acrostic, let’s look at God’s plan for Parenting.
P - Practice and Promote Love in all things. Most kids will never stand before a judge and say, “I’m sorry for my hate crime, but my parents and grandparents just loved me too much. Moms and Dads – Grandmas and Grandpas – you are the real education of your family. You are the reading and writing and arithmetic. They read what you do every day – they write it in their own hearts – and they live their life by the equation you have taught them.
When Jesus was parenting the disciples, teaching them, they asked him “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” And He said to them, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” And in John 13:34 Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another as I have loved you. Just as I have loved you, you should love one another.”
It’s all about practicing and promoting LOVE. We can’t love God and hate each other. Part of loving God and loving your children is training them –
“Train up a child in the way he or she should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 So how do we train up our children? What does that look like in practice?
First, teach them who God is? Genesis 1:1 is so important in comparison with our educational system and evolution today. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. They are going to be taught a lot of theory’s about where they came from and who created them and this world – and none of them will point to God, unless they go to a Christian school.
Teach them to love imperfect people. To love that one person who drives them crazy.
Teach them to forgive. And Yes, talk about the fact that life isn’t fair. Sometimes the bad guys win and the good guys lose, but that’s only in this life – not in eternity. In eternity, the good guys, the guys who repent and ask Christ to forgive them will be the winners.
Practicing and promoting love means your character will be an example to them
A - Address Christian Character. We already covered love. Then there is the Big “I” – Integrity. As parents and grandparents you lead with Integrity. You live your life at home in the same way you live it out in public. How do you talk to your kids? Your spouse? Behind closed doors, when those little ears are listening. What are you watching on TV? Do you Talk the talk and walk the walk. Meaning, do we walk in the footsteps of Christ even when we think no one can see us or hear us.
Train up your children to be Honest. There was a day when agreements were sealed with a handshake. Not anymore. Dishonesty is rampant. We need to train our children in the importance of being honest – because an honest heart is open to God. The more honest we are, the easier it is to trust. Even when we mess up
Teach your kids to Say I’m sorry. Then everyone can move on. Plus, when we are honest, we can get rid of the guilt, we can gain confidence again, we can begin to restore our reputation.
Train up your children to be Responsible. We have a Christian responsibility/duty to serve others. Don’t forget the command of Matthew 26:36 “I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me.” The responsibility of every believer is to share their faith, time, love, and resources with those who are less fortunate.
Train up your children to show Respect. Respect is rooted in the concept that we are all created in the image of God. Yes, all of us. Even non-Christians. If we can’t respect a non-believer, how can we ever expect to lead them to a loving relationship with Christ. Even Jesus showed respect to sinners. He had compassion on those who had been led astray. Remember when the religious leaders brought to Jesus the woman who had been caught in the act of adultery? What was His response?
He stooped down and began to write in the dust and then said to the crowd: He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone. They wanted her stoned. But Jesus showed her respect/mercy. And then he said to her the most important line of all Go and sin no more. That is key. We go and sin no more.
Train up your children to show Compassion. Compassion incorporates kindness and sympathy toward others. Compassion means their heartbreak becomes your own. The bible is filled with stories of compassion. One of my favorite is Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Train up your children to be Joyful. Happiness may come and go – but nothing and no one can steal your joy. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Isaiah 55:12 says,
“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.”
Yes, that last one I’ll address is to train up your children to embrace Peace. True peace is always preceded by God’s grace. When we accept the unmerited favor of God found in His grace and His grace alone, then we find His peace that the world cannot give us or take away. John 14:27.
“Peace I leave you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Teach your children what true peace is all about.
R – we not only Address Christian Character, but we teach our children to R - Recognize how God builds our Character. First, he transforms us through His Son Jesus and gives us the Holy Spirit that lives within us. The Spirit of God is that inner voice that we better listen to. It teaches us right from wrong.
We also need to teach our children that God builds character through His truth, His Word. Your children need to know that scripture was written by men, but it was also written by God – it is God breathed. He inspired the writers so we know they got it right. II Timothy 3:16-17 says: “All scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” And one more point on recognizing how God builds our Character is through suffering.
E - Embrace Suffering. Teach your children that suffering is a part of Christianity. This is huge, especially in our world today. You see, there are way too many teachers and preachers out there falsely claiming that Christians will never suffer, never get sick; They will only be prosperous - wealthy, healthy, and wise. That is not in scripture. Scripture teaches us just the opposite. We will suffer for His name sake.
All the disciples suffered in various ways for their faith and all of them except John were killed, but wait, John was simply tortured on the island of Patmos. Jesus suffered and he was innocent of any sin, and we will Suffer when we are followers of him. Our greatest lessons come in the deep, dark valleys of pain and suffering. Teach your children that God brings Joy out of our pain and loss.
N - Nourish your children through healthy discipline. God disciplines us - why? Because He loves us. Hebrews 12:5-6 “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.” God disciplines out of love and so do we. Godly discipline is not abuse, even though the world would like you to think that it is.
Discipline is not fun at the time, but it produces godly character and righteousness. Short-term pain, for long-term gain. We discipline our children to keep them from falling off the cliff of life. It is an expression of our love. It is not our job to be friends with our kids, it is our job to discipline them, teach them, and correct them. The goal of disciple is to teach obedience, which, in turns, teaches obedience to God the Father.
T - Thank your children through rewards. If we discipline bad behavior we need to reward good behavior. Just remember that rewards need to match the behavior. Our society today wants to reward everything to the point that kids feel entitled. Entitlement is not the answer. Too many rewards become ineffective.
I - Identify their Identity. Their spiritual, emotional, and gender identity. First, their spiritual identity. Genesis 1:26-27 “And God said, let us make man in our image; after our likeness. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them.” What an awesome passage of scripture.
What does it mean to be in the image or likeness of God? Well, what is God like?
He’s loving, giving, forgiving, faithful, good, wise, kind, just, and eternal, he never dies, and neither do we. And that’s just to name a few. When your children begin to realize they were created in the very image of God, that gives them a sense of who they are and why there are here.
Emotional Identity. He laughs and weeps. He also displayed righteous anger. He showed joy, love, sadness and sorrow, just like us. Jesus was both God and Human. Teach your children the human attributes of God.
Gender Identity. God made only two genders. Male and female. Genesis 5:2 “He created them male and female, and he blessed them and called them “human.”
Before the age of ultrasounds, the first question asked after a baby was born was: Is it a boy or a girl? But now, parents are choosing to raise gender-neutral children. So very sad. There is no such thing in God’s Word. Biology matters. Teach your children that God made Adam first, and then Eve, and the two shall be one. That is God’s design. Mankind in their human wisdom, is on the path to bringing the wrath of God.
As parents, we N - Need to Invest time in their lives – every single day. Play games, ask about their day, Share about your day, tell them you love them every day. Tell them the stories of Jesus. Yes, sing with them, laugh, listen, read, play, pray, paint, color, build, bake, whatever! Give them your time – we can’t let social media eat up our time with our loved ones!
G - Give them back to God and entrust them to His care. O, there will be times when they ask for advice, but our main work is during those ages of birth to 18. Sometimes it’s tough to let go. For 18 years we have sacrificed our time and our lives. That little child has been our focus in life. And now, we have to let go and let God.
The story of Hannah is a good example of learning to let go. She gave Samuel back to God when he was only 3 years old. She placed him in the care of Eli, the priest, who nurtured him and raised him in the ways of the Lord. In the end, her story is the real story; our children are never ours, they are always His. Our job, is to make sure we give him back godly children.
Close with our Acrostic for Parenting
Practice and Promote Love in all things
Address Christian Character with your Children
Recognize how God Builds Character in your Children
Embrace the Character of Suffering
Nourish your Children through Discipline
Thank your Children through Rewards
Identify your Children’s Identity
Nourish your Children in the Faith
Give your Children back to God
