Introduction:
A. One day a proper Englishman found himself seated on a train with two ladies who were arguing about whether to have the window opened or closed.
1. One lady claimed that she would die of heatstroke if the window stayed closed.
2. The other lady said she would die of pneumonia if the window was opened.
3. The ladies called the conductor to settle the dispute, but he didn’t know how to solve it.
4. Finally, the Englishman spoke up and said, “First, open the window and that will kill the one lady, then close it and that will kill the other, and then we can have peace.”
B. Well, that’s one way to end a conflict, but that’s obviously not God’s way.
1. As we talked about last week, we all know that conflicts are inevitable.
2. What is it that causes wars and fights among us? James answered that question for us in James 4:1-6 saying that they come from the passions that wage war inside of us.
3. And as we discussed last week, the war within becomes the war without and the war above.
4. Sin and selfishness lead to a lack of peace in us and a lack of peace with others and with God.
C. So now that we understand a little more about the causes of conflict, today we want to examine what James says are the cures for conflict.
1. As we turn to James 4:7-12, we see that James gives us a number of cures that will help us to resolve the wars within, without, and above.
2. Each of the cures can be simply stated and easily understood – they aren’t complicated – but that doesn’t mean that they are easy.
3. Another thing I want to emphasize is that each of the cures for conflict is an individual, personal thing.
4. These cures for conflict focus on each of us changing ourselves, not changing others.
a. We often want to blame others for the conflict and say that if they would change, then there wouldn’t be a problem.
b. James would beg to differ with us and would stay that the place to begin to cure conflict is with me and with you, not with someone else in our lives.
c. Certainly it can help if the other person is also changing, but our job isn’t to change them, rather our job is change ourselves with God’s help.
5. With that in mind, let’s look at James’ cures for conflict.
I. James’ first cure for conflict is: Take a Knee (submit yourself to God).
A. Verse 7 begins with a short and simple sentence: Therefore, submit to God.
1. It comes right after the verse that says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
2. In verse 10, James adds: Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
3. The word for “submit” is a military word that means to put in proper order or rank, to subject oneself to another, to obey.
4. To submit, then, is to yield to the authority or will of another, and in this context: to God.
5. Submission and humility go hand in hand, and the opposite is also true – pride and rebellion go hand in hand.
B. Submission is not a popular concept, but it is a biblical one.
1. The Bible teaches us that a person of God is supposed to submit themselves to the government authorities (Rom. 13:1, 5).
2. The Bible teaches that church members are supposed to submit themselves to elders in the church (Hebrews 13:17; 1 Peter 5:5).
3. The Bible teaches that church members should mutually submit to each other out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:21).
4. The Bible teaches that wives are to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22, 1 Pet. 3:1, 5).
5. And the Bible teaches that slaves are to submit themselves to their masters (1 Pet. 2:18).
C. Because God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble, the only sensible thing for a person to do is to submit themselves to God.
1. This proper submission recognizes God’s position and authority in our lives.
a. The key to developing biblical humility is found in the phrase: humble yourselves “before the Lord” (vs. 10).
b. Only people with hardened hearts can remain proud in the presence of the Lord.
c. What do the holy angels do in the presence of the Lord? They cover their faces and bow.
d. When Isaiah found himself in God’s presence, he was terrified by God’s holiness and his own sinfulness (Isa. 6:5).
e. When God finally spoke to Job and portrayed the wonders of His creation before him, Job’s response was “I retract and I repent in dust and ashes.”
f. One person rightly said: “The soul becomes humble by the true knowledge of God and ourselves.”
g. We rightly submit to God when we realize there is a God and we are not Him!
2. Submitting ourselves to God means that we submit ourselves to the plans and promises and commands of God’s Word.
a. There are many things about God and His ways that we don’t understand, but we must trust and submit ourselves to God and allow Him to be the God who He is.
b. We submit ourselves to God’s designs for salvation, the church, heaven and hell.
c. We submit ourselves to God’s designs for men and women, and marriage and family.
d. We can’t pick and choose the parts of God’s Word we like or the parts that we want to accept and obey, rather we must submit ourselves to it all.
3. We also must submit ourselves to God’s personal dealings with us as individuals.
a. God does things or allows things to happen in our lives that may not be to our liking.
b. There may be tragedies or trials that happen that we will never fully understand in this life.
c. It could be the untimely death of a loved one, it could be unfair treatment at work or school, it could be some kind of abuse or discrimination, or a terrible disease or deformity.
d. Or in the context of our study today, it may be a person in our lives who is always creating conflict.
e. But in the end, we must submit ourselves to God’s providence and provision in our lives.
f. We can choose to fight against God when difficult things happen, or we can humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand, and cast all our anxiety on Him (1 Pet. 5:6-7).
4. By submitting to God we will be enabled by God, to obey God, rather than follow our desires.
5. And when we find ourselves in conflict with others, we might want to fight and argue.
a. We might want to prove our point and put the person in their place.
b. But if we have put God in charge of our lives and we are living in submission to Him, then His peace will rule our lives and will help minimize conflicts with others.
II. James’ second cure for conflict is: Fight Back Against the Devil.
A. In the next sentence of verse 7, James says: Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
1. Notice that this is both a command and a promise.
2. James commands us to resist the devil.
a. The word resist is another military term that means to stand and fight.
b. We are supposed to hold our ground and not run.
c. When it comes to temptation, we are supposed to run, but with other spiritual warfare, we are to take our stand and fight the devil.
d. In Ephesians 6, Paul instructed us to: Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil… For this reason take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. (Eph. 6:11, 13)
3. So, how do we stand and fight with God’s armor and weapons?
a. We fight back with the Word of God and with the power of prayer.
b. And we fight back by leaning on our brothers and sisters, fellow soldiers in God’s army.
4. The promise of God is that as we fight back and take our stand, the devil will flee.
a. The Bible declares that He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world. (1 Jn. 4:4)
b. Truth is that Satan is ultimately a coward and that he runs from the strength of the Lord.
c. We have no power in ourselves to fight against the devil, but he has no power against us when we fight him with God’s power.
d. By ourselves, we can’t win, but with God’ help, we can’t lose.
B. Now let’s apply this to the cure for conflict.
1. While Satan does not always need to involve himself or his demonic forces in our conflicts (we often can get in conflict all by ourselves), there are times when demons are directly involved in disrupting our relationships.
2. The Greek word for devil is diabolos, which literally means “to throw against” - it is one of the words for slanderer.
a. The Hebrew word for Satan means “adversary.”
b. The devil is a fallen angel who stands against God and His people, and is always ready to accuse or slander them.
3. So, when we find ourselves in conflict with others, it helps to consider that the agitator and enemy in the situation may be Satan and not the person who we are in the conflict with.
a. And just like when Peter confronted Jesus and tried to get Jesus to abandon God’s plan, Jesus recognized the real source of the conflict and said, “Get behind me Satan.”
b. So let’s resist the devil and take our stand against him in the name and power of the Lord.
III. James’ third cure for conflict goes hand in hand with the first two: Draw Near to God.
A. And just like the last cure, this one is also a command and a promise.
1. James says, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)
a. Isn’t that an incredible promise?!! The Lord wants to be close to you and me, and He will draw near to us when we draw near to Him!
2. The question is not: “How near is God to us?,” but rather “How near to God are we?”
a. When distance develops between us and God, it is not God’s fault, rather it is our fault.
b. If God ever feels far away, we have to ask ourselves: “Who moved?”
B. James gives us two important assignments that help us remove the distance in our relationship with God: the two assignments are “clean up” and “get serious.”
1. Distance develops in our relationship with God when we allow sinful things to begin to control our hands, hearts and heads.
2. And then, rather than being appalled by our sin, we are comfortable with it and welcome it.
3. Look at James’ instruction for us to clean up: Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded (James 4:8).
a. Notice how all three aspects of ourselves are involved in our impurity: our hearts, minds and hands.
b. And so, when we need a spiritual house cleaning we must remove the pollution, the moral filth, and the ungodliness that is both on our insides and our outsides.
4. But additionally, when we discover these area of our lives that need attention, James suggests that we need to be serious and sad about our sin.
a. James wrote: Be miserable and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. (4:9-10)
b. All this runs counter to the “I want to be happy all the time” version of Christianity that is very popular in our culture.
c. But chances are we won’t really turn away from our sin if we don’t truly repent and accept responsibility for our sin.
d. We must mourn over how we have offended God, disgraced His name, jeopardized our witness, or hurt our brothers and sisters in Christ.
5. Thankfully, God promises us that this kind of humble repentance leads to blessing.
a. When we humble ourselves, then God will lift us up.
b. Psalm 34:18 says: God is near the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
c. In Psalm 51:17, King David laments his sin with Bathsheba, writing: The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.
d. Psalm 30:5 says: Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
e. True joy comes through true repentance, because we receive God’s forgiveness and grace.
6. How does drawing near to God in humility and repentance help us resolve conflicts?
a. Well, it helps us to have the spiritual resources to submit to God and to resist the devil, but it also helps with the last cure for conflict.
IV. James’ fourth and final cure for conflict is: Stop Judging Others.
A. When we set ourselves up as judge and jury then we are spiritually in trouble, and conflict is the unavoidable result.
1. But when we see ourselves clearly and know how much grace we need from God, then that will help us to be less judgmental and more graceful toward others.
B. James wrote: Don’t criticize one another, brothers and sisters. Anyone who defames or judges a fellow believer defames and judges the law. If you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:11-12)
1. What is James’ main point? There is a lawgiver and judge, but it isn’t me or you, it’s God!
2. And because God is the only One worthy to be the lawgiver and judge, then we must stop putting ourselves into that position.
3. James says we have no business judging our neighbor or speaking slanderously against them.
4. James already instructed us to love our neighbor as ourselves -he called it the royal law (2:8).
5. When we are able to stay out of the role as judge, then we are able to see ourselves and others as people who both need God’s love and grace.
C. Before we move on from this point and finish this sermon, I think it is important to clarify the difference between judging others and correcting others.
1. We notice in verse 11 that James warns us to avoid criticizing, defaming and judging others.
2. These actions don’t appear to be performed by someone in an effort to bring help and healing.
3. Rather, they seem to be practiced by someone who seeks to elevate themselves by tearing down someone else.
D. There is hardly any verse in the Bible that is more misunderstood than Jesus’ words, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged” (Mt. 7:1).
1. I read about a trial for a drunk driver where the evidence of their guilt was clear – the defendant had a blood alcohol level twice the legal limit.
a. Everyone on the jury was ready to vote a guilty verdict, except for one juror who said, “I could never vote to convict her, because the Bible says, ‘judge not, lest you be judged.’ ”
b. Do you see how that is clearly a misinterpretation of Jesus’ command?
2. There’s a big difference between sitting on a jury in a court of law and being required by law to assess a person’s guilt or innocence and possible earthly punishment, and setting ourselves up as judge and jury on a person’s eternal punishment.
3. It is never our place to judge and condemn anyone eternally.
4. Nor is it our place to attempt to destroy someone through gossip and slander.
E. But that being said, it is our place to evaluate each other against God’s Word, as brothers and sisters in Christ, and to correct and confront each other when necessary.
1. It is not “judging” someone to speak with them about their sin or their false teaching.
2. We are commanded to do those things with each other.
3. When we get to James chapter 5, we will discuss these verses: My brothers and sisters, if any among you strays from the truth, and someone turns him back, let that person know that whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20)
a. Notice that it is a Christian who has gone astray and it is a Christian who brings them back.
b. It is impossible to bring someone back who has strayed from the truth, without evaluating what they are believing and doing and confronting them about it, right?
c. That process doesn’t involve wrongful judging, but appropriate judging.
4. Paul wrote something similar in Galatians 6:1: Brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual, restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so that you also won’t be tempted.
5. I hope all of us can see the difference between the right kind of judging and the wrong kind.
6. Setting ourselves up as judge leads to conflict and broken relationships, but humbly submitting to God and His Word and seeking to love and build others up leads to harmony and restored relationships.
7. Next time we find ourselves beginning to criticize or put others down, let’s remember James’ pointed question: “But who are you to judge your neighbor?”
Conclusion:
A. So, with James’ help we now know the causes and the cures for conflict.
1. Conflict comes from the battle within that leads to the battle without and the battle above.
2. To help us combat those battles, James advises us to: submit to God, resist the devil, draw near to God, and stop judging others. Sounds easy enough, right?
B. Let me conclude with this illustration from the Peanuts.
1. You all probably remember the classic PEANUTS situation between Charlie Brown and Lucy.
2. Over and over again, Lucy would offer to hold the football while Charlie Brown kicked it.
3. But time and time again, as he ran up to kick the ball, Lucy would pull it away, and Charlie Brown would fly into the air and land flat on his back.
4 One day when Lucy offered to hold the football again, Charlie Brown declined saying he knows how it always goes, and he does not want it to happen again.
5. As soon as he accused Lucy of her past wrongs, she began weeping, “Oh, you’re so right. I admit that in the past I’ve played cruel tricks on you. But I’ve seen the error of my ways. I’ve seen the hurt in your eyes. Won’t you give this poor repentant girl another chance?”
6. Charlie Brown said, “Okay.” So he backed up, ran up to the ball, and just as he was about to kick it, Lucy pulled the ball away. Once again Charlie Brown ended up on his back.
7. As Lucy walked away, she commented to a friend, “Unfortunately, recognizing your faults and actually changing your ways are two different things.”
8. So, we all would agree that recognizing the problem is only part of the solution, and that doing something about it is much more difficult.
9. May God help us to put the cures for conflict into practice! Amen!!
Resources:
• “Six Ways to Jumpstart Your Spiritual Life” Sermon by Ray Pritchard
• “Resolving Conflicts God’s Way” by Steven Cole
• “The Sin of Judging Others” by Steven Cole
• James – Hands-on Christianity, by Charles Swindoll, Insight for Living, 2003.
• “The Cure for Conflict” Sermon by David Owens
