The Faithful Father
Scott Bayles, pastor
Blooming Grove Christian Church: 6/18/2005
Happy Father’s Day. Father’s Day is a day of neckties and new cologne, a day of hugs, long-distance phone calls, and Hallmark cards. But most of all it’s a day to honor dads! "Honor your father and mother." That’s how it’s written in the Bible, but I think it’s also written on our hearts. Honor means to regard with great respect, to esteem, or give recognition. The fact that God even added “honor your father” to the Ten Commandments should show us how important it is.
There are lots of things you can give your Dad on Father’s Day, but let’s not forget the most important thing. The best gift you can give your dad on Father’s Day is to honor him. That’s what we want to do here today.
Someone once said, “A father is a man who carries photographs where his money used to be.” As a dad you want to stand strong, but one look in your child’s tearful eyes melts you. As a dad you strive to be heroic, though you know there are days that you hardly deserve a medal. As a dad you hope to be wise, though a single question asked repeatedly by a six-year-old—Why?—boggles the best of minds.
A few years back Family Circle Magazine published results from a national survey of fathers. It had some revealing results: 94% feel building a family is the hardest and most important thing a man can do. 71% say fatherhood is more demanding than they expected and 88% say its more rewarding. 87% say the rewards of fatherhood trump those of career, and 89% approve of men leaving fast-track careers to spend more time with family. 90% say becoming a father made them want to be a better person and role model for their kids.
The truth is—dads are the primary role model for their kids. Children tend to follow in their father’s footsteps in many ways. So it’s important that we set the right example. This morning I want to look at a story in the Bible that I think offers a role model for fathers.
It’s a familiar parable told by Jesus. We call it the Parable of the Prodigal Son. We usualy talk about this story from the perspective of the son, hence the title—the son rebells against his father, runs away from home and eventually returns. But this morning I’d like to look at this parable from the perspective of the father.
The father in this story represents our Heavenly Father. As such, he is the perfect parent—a model of fatherhood at it’s best. As I read this story, I see four traits of this faithful father that we would do well to emulate.
First, the faithful father was a providing father.
• A PROVIDING FATHER
This father provided for his family. Jesus begins the story, saying, “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.” (Luke 15:11-12 NLT).
Now forget the son’s self-centered, attitude of entitlement for moment. What I want you to notice is that this father had an estate. He had wealth that he intedned to leave to his children as an inheritance. As the story continues, we find out the father had flocks and herds, and even hired servants (not slaves, but paid employees living and working on his land) who had “food enough to spare.” Even his servants earned a good living and had more than they needed.
This father was providing for his family in abundance. The Bible says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children” (Proverbs 13:22 ESV). By this standard, the prodigal’s father was a good man.
Fathers today ought to strive to follow in his footsteps. A father’s job is multifaceted, but one of the most important roles is that of provider. And God takes that job very seriously. In fact, the Bible says, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8 NIV). That’s serious stuff!
When God blesses you with a family, He is trusting you to take care of them, to make sure that their needs are being met. And not only that, but by providing for your family you also demonstrate the value of hardwork and you model biblical principles for handling money.
I heard a story this week about a father who kept bringing home office work just about every night. Finally his first-grader son asked why. The dad explained that he had so much work, he couldn't finish it all during the day. So the boy asked, "In that case, why don't they put you in a slower group? That’s what they do in my school."
Providing for our kids isn’t about giving them everything they want. It’s about teaching our kids to trust their father. If they know that earthly father will always provide for them and meet their needs, then it’s that much easier for them to trust that their Heavenly Father will do the same.
Further, the faithful father was a patient father.
• A PATIENT FATHER
As Jesus continues his story, he says, “So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living” (Luke 15:12-13 NLT).
Now, let me ask an obvious question: Was this father stupid? I mean why in the world would he agree to giving a pile of money to a child whose obviously already spoiled and self-centered? Couldn’t he have predicted how this story would end?
The answer is—no, he’s not stupid. And, yes, he knew exactly how this story would end. And so do we. We know from reading the rest of the story that this self-absorbed adolesent eventually learned humilty and repsect. He repented of his foolishness and humbly returned home. He learned his lesson, but he had to learn the hard way.
In the meantime, his father simply practiced patience. He trusted and waited for his son to grow up and start making good choices.
Whether you’re raising toddlers or teenagers—patience is a virtue every father needs. It doesn’t come easlity though.
I heard a story this week about a little boy who was misbehaving one night when his dad was trying to get him to go to bed. It had been a long, stressful day already and long after the little boy had been tucked in for the night, he started the classic drink of water routine: "Daddy, I need a drink of water." His dad sweetly but sternly reminded him that he’d already had a drink and needs to go back to bed, but every few minutes he’d hear the pitter-patter of little feet come running down the hall to top of the stairs. This goes on for over an hour, when finally the exasperated dad reached the limit of his patience and shouted, "Enough! If you get out of bed one more time, I’m going to come up there and paint your back porch red!" For a moment it was quiet. Then a little voice drifted down the stairs, "Daddy, when you come up to paint my porch would you bring me a glass of water?"
Patience doesn’t come easily or naturally for most parents. We spend the first eighteen years of our kids’ lives teaching them right from wrong, and hoping that Proverbs 22:6 is right when it says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (NKJV).
It turned out to be true for the prodigal son. He got off track and made a lot of stupid mistakes, but eventually he returned to the right path. In the meantime, his father waited patiently. There are some parents of prodigals here this morning. And I just want to encourage you to be patient and prayerfull. Those prodigal kids may come home yet.
Furthermore, the faithful father was a passionate father.
• A PASSIONATE FATHER
After the prodigal boy wasted his inhertance on parties and women, he was was left with nothing. His fareweather friends abandoned him and he was forced to get a job as a farmhand so he didn’t starve to death. It was only then that he realized how wrong he’d been and how good he had it back home. So Jesus says, “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him” (Luke 15:20 NLT).
Notice how the father reacted when he saw his boy on the horizon. This father lavish affection on his son. I doubt this was a one time occurance. I’m sure he hugged and kissed his kids every day when they were home.
A whole host of studies have been done that demonstrate the imporatnce of fathers showing affection for their kids. Unfortunately, for many loving and caring fathers, showing their affection represents the most challenging aspect of parenting.
Traditionally, guys don’t show much affection, and between Mom and Dad, the father’s role has not been to dole out the hugs, kisses and “I love yous”; that’s always been Mom’s role. However, a father still needs to find ways to express his love for his children because a child can not read their father’s mind and a child will not always assume his father loves him; the child needs to see, feel and hear that love.
Hugs and kisses are the most common way of showing affection to our kids, but there are other ways too. Dad can toss his one-year-old in the air, or spin his seven-year-old daughter around and around as she giggles wildly, or have his three year old sit on his lap as he reads a book. A pat on the back, a squeeze of the shoulder, even a headlock and a nuggie are genuine expressions of affection.
Jesus himself often used physical touch as a form of affection. Remember when the little children kept coming up to him and the disciples tried shewing them away? Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children” (Mark 10:14 NLT). And then, the Bible says, “Jesus took the children in his arms, put his hands on them, and blessed them” (Mark 10:16 NCV). Jesus understood precisely what these children needed in order to feel loved and accepted and it’s important for us to follow in his footsteps.
But it’s not just little children that need their dad’s affection. Max Lucado, in his book Dad Time, writes, “We never outgrow our need for a father’s love. We’re wired to receive it.” So, dads, let’s follow the faithful father’s example and passionately love on our kids. Finally, the faithful father was a positive father.
• A POSITIVE FATHER
As the story continues, the boy says:
“Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.” But his father said to the servants, “Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.” So the party began. (Luke 15:22-24 NLT).
He could have lectured him. He could have berated him. Given him the “I told you so” speech. But instead, he praises him for his one good decision. He was quick to forgive his son’s mistakes and to celebrate his son’s sucesses. Rather than focusing on the negative, he focused on the positive.
Now, our kids do some stupid things. They make mistakes. And, I don’t know about you, but I have a tendancy to dwell on the negative. Maybe it’s human nature or maybe it’s just me. But I criticize the bad behavior much more than I compliment the good behavior. I mean if your kids comes home with three Bs, two As, and D- on their report card, which one are you going to have a conversation about?
As parentswe need to be intentional about reversing that habit. We need to praise our kids more than we punish them. We need to congratulate them when they successed and tell them we’re proud of them when they do good:
• Good job clenaing your room!
• Thanks for clearing your plate!
• You’re such a good reader!
• I’m so proud of you for earning that scholarship!
Even when they’re old we can continue praising them:
• You’re a good husband and good father!
By praising them for their good choices and small successes we encourage them to keep making good choices and stay on a path of success. Of course, they’re going to make mistakes. They’ll mess up sometimes. That’s when they’ll need our forgiveness.
Earnest Hemmingway once wrote a short story about a Spanish father who wanted to reconcile with his son who had run away to Madrid. Unfortunately, the father had no means of contacting his son. So in a moment of desperation, he takes out an ad in El Libro, a newspaper: "Paco, meet me at Hotel Montana, Noon, Tuesday… All is forgiven… Papa." When the father arrived at the square in hopes of meeting his son, he found eight hundred Pacoes waiting to be reunited with their father.
Kids need their parents’ approval. They need our forgiveness and they need our encouragement. So dads, let’s determine to be a positive parent.
Conclusion
So what do we learn from the parable of the Faithful Father? We learn that a father ought ot provides for his family, a father needs to be patient with his kids, a father ought to passionately love on his children, and a father ought to be a positive parent. To all of the providing, patient, passionate and positive dads here today—thank you. Thank you for teaching us how to throw a football and catch baseball. Thank you for mowing the lawn and changing the oil. Thank you for always being there. In short, thank you for showing us what it means to be a good and godly man.
Invitation:
Whether you are a father or not, whether you had a loving father growing up or not, you need to know that you have a Father in Heaven who provides for you, is always patient with you, and passionately loves you. He wants nothing more than for you to be a part of his eternal family. If there is any way that our church can help you connect with your heavenly Father, let us know while we stand and sing.
