Mother’s Day 2016: Proverbs 31
Scott Bayles, pastor
Blooming Grove Christian Church
Good morning, welcome to the Grove and Happy Mother’s Day!
Today is a special day because we can come together like this as a family for two primary reasons. One is to honor our God in heaven. The other is to honor our moms on earth. Both are lifetime tasks and neither can be confined to a one-hour get-together on Sunday mornings.
Putting together a Mother’s day message is always difficult because I don’t suppose that anything has ever been said or ever will be said that is eloquent enough, or expressive enough to articulate the true value of a mother. Ralph Waldo Emerson has said, “Men are what their mothers make them” and an old Spanish proverb says, “An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.”
Mother's Day is the day when children give something back to their mothers for all the spit they produce to wash dirty faces, all the old gum they held in their hands, all the noses they wiped, and the scraped knees that they kissed. This is the day mothers are rewarded for washing sheets in the middle of the night, driving kids to school when they missed the bus, and enduring all those football, baseball and soccer games in the rain. It's a day of appreciation and celebration.
Heaven knows that mom deserves our appreciation and praise, doesn’t she? I’ve always been a big Calvin & Hobbes fan. One Mother’s Day Calvin gave his mom a handmade card and even composed a poem for her. So early that morning, he comes bounding into her bedroom and presents her with the card. She opens it up and reads:
I was going to buy a card with hearts of pink and red,
But then I thought I’d rather spend the money on me, instead.
It’s awfully hard to buy things when one’s allowance is so small,
So I guess you’re pretty lucky I got you anything at all!
Happy Mother’s Day to you. There, I said it. Now I’m done.
So how about getting out of bed and cooking breakfast for your son?
I hope none of you got a Mother’s Day card like that one. But just in case you’re feeling a little underappreciated, I’ve got a much better card for you today. It too, was handmade and even includes a poem—although it doesn’t rhyme. This card can be found in Proverbs 31—God’s tribute to moms, wives, and women in general.
This chapter was written by King Lemuel but the first verse says, “These are the words of King Lemuel, the message his mother taught him” (Proverbs 31:1 NCV). Isn’t that sweet? How many of you moms ever received a card from your kids using the letters in mom or mother as an acrostic? Well Proverbs 31:10-31 is very similar to that; but rather than using the word mom, it uses all the letters in the Hebrew alphabet. All twenty-two lines are dedicated to praising godly moms everywhere.
Verse 28-29 says, “Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband. He praises her with these words: ‘There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all!’” (Proverbs 31:28-29 TLB). How many of you moms would love to hear your husband and children say that about you?
The last line of this inspired poem announces: “Give her the reward she has earned; she should be praised in public for what she has done” (Proverbs 31:31 NCV). That’s what we want to do this morning. We want to praise the moms of the Grove for what they do in our lives. So what makes moms so praiseworthy?
The rest of Proverbs 31 offers at least three characteristics of a praiseworthy mom. First of all, a praiseworthy mom is a valuable wife!
• A VALUABLE WIFE
It may seem counterintuitive, but the first quality of a praiseworthy mom, has nothing to do with motherhood. Rather, King Lemuel begins his acrostic, saying, “If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems! Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him but help him all her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12 TLB).
Now, I realize that there are some single mothers out there that are raising the kids and paying the bills all on their own and God bless them. I think we ought to encourage those moms and help them out as much as we can. But that certainly wasn’t God design for the home. No, God intended for parenting to be a team effort.
And the first characteristic of a Proverbs 31 mom is being a valuable wife—worth more than rubies and diamonds. Notice how the Bible describes her relationship with her husband. Their relationship is built on trust, they’re meeting each other’s needs (physically and emotionally), and they help each other, working together as a team.
Unfortunately, so many parents (moms in particular) have fallen into an unhealthy pattern: your kids have become your life. That’s understandable—kids demands a lot of attention. Between tying their shoes, wiping their noses, packing their lunches, driving them to school, taking them to soccer or baseball, or dance—your world begins to revolve around them. You center your weekends around their activities. They even sneak into your bed in the middle of the night. On the rare occasions when you and your husband do get a night out, you spend a good chunk of it talking about them.
But this kid-focused life isn't healthy for your marriage—and it turns out that it's not so good for the kids, either. David Code—an Episcopal minister, family coach, and author of To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First—writes, “These days, many parents seem to be married to their children instead of their spouses… This creates stressed-out parents who feel disconnected from each other and demanding, entitled kids who act out.”
When parents are so focused on their children that they don't have the time or energy to relate as a couple, they're more likely to grow discontented. Kids can pick up on that disconnectedness, which leads to insecurity and anxiety. And when adults pour their attention into their children instead of their spouses, the kids start to feel like they ought to be the center of the universe.
Researchers who study family behavior agree that a strong bond between parents is the heart of a happy family. As relationship therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., puts it in her couples' guide, The Book of Love, “No matter how sacrilegious it sounds...you need to put your relationship before your children. A strong relationship provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership should be. What could be more important?”
I think this is why Proverbs 31 begins by praising moms who are first-and-foremost valuable wives. Furthermore, King Lemuel’s poem praises moms who are vigorous workers!
• A VIGOROUS WORKER
The next section of this Hebrew acrostic describes moms as busy, hard-working, industrious women. It says, “She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plans the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her own hands she plants a vineyard. She is energetic, a hard worker, and watches for bargains. She works far into the night!” (Proverbs 31:15-18 TLB).
The passage goes on for several more verses to describe the kind of work moms do both inside and outside of the home. It may shock some people to realize that the Bible does not criticize a woman who works outside the home. These verses describe a career woman. She is busy buying, selling, and trading. She’s described as a manufacturer, importer, manager, realtor, farmer, seamstress, upholsterer, and merchant!
Another translation says, “She sets about her work vigorously” (vs. 17 NIV). A mom’s work is never done, is it!? Although the type of work may be different, praiseworthy moms are every bit as hard working today.
According to a new survey by Salary.com, moms should be charging $115,000 per year for their work. In the tenth annual Mom Salary Survey, researchers examined 6,616 mothers and attempted to value their work by breaking down motherly duties into 10 separate titles: Day Care Center Teacher, CEO, Psychologist, Cook, Housekeeper, Laundry Machine Operator, Computer Operator, Facilities Manager, Janitor and Cab Driver. Results indicate that stay-at-home moms would earn a base salary of $36,968 plus $78,464 in overtime, totaling $115,432. Meanwhile, moms that work outside the home earned a “mom” base salary of $39,763 plus $23,709 in overtime, adding $63,472 on top of their day jobs.
Evilee Ebb, general manager of Salary.com, said, “We see Mom as the compilation of 10 jobs in one person. The breadth of Mom’s responsibilities is beyond what most workers could ever experience day-to-day. Imagine if you had to attract and retain a candidate to fill this role?”
According to the survey, the typical stay-at-home mom works almost 97 hours a week, spending 13.2 hours as a day-care teacher; 3.9 hours as household CEO; 7.6 hours as a psychologist; 14.1 hours as a chef; 15.4 as a housekeeper; 6.6 hours doing laundry; 9.5 hours as a PC-or-Mac operator; 10.7 hours as a facilities manager; 7.8 hours as a janitor and 7.8 hours driving the family mini-van.
By the time a child reaches 18, a mother has had to handle some extra 18,000 hours of child-generated work. In fact, women who never have children enjoy the equivalent of an extra three months a year in leisure time! For 10 titles, a nearly 100-hour work-week and a six-figure annual rate, moms may be the most vigorous workers in the country. The real mind-blowing thing is—they do it all for free.
So, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a mom that works outside the home, the work you do is priceless. A praiseworthy mom is a valuable wife, a vigorous worker, and virtuous woman.
• A VIRTUOUS WOMAN
As King Lemuel continues his inspired poem, he writes, “She is strong and is respected by the people. She looks forward to the future with joy. She speaks wise words and teaches others to be kind. She watches over her family and never wastes her time” (Proverbs 31:25-27 NCV).
Unlike being a valuable wife and a vigorous worker, being a virtuous woman is less about what you do and more about who you are. And King Lemuel offers and impressive list of virtues in these three verses.
She is strong and dignified.
She doesn’t get bent out of shape or worried about what tomorrow may bring.
She enjoys life. She smiles. She laughs.
She speaks with wisdom and kindness.
She cares about her family.
She’s careful about how she spends her time. (remember to put down your phone)
Earlier, in verse 20, she shows compassion to the poor and needy.
So where do all these wonderful virtues and character traits come from? They’re a result of her reverence for God. As King Lemuel brings his poem to a close, he writes, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised” (Proverbs 31:30 NLT).
While our society places a lot of emphasis on a woman’s looks, weight, and appearance; Proverbs 31 reminds moms that those things don’t last. Instead, a praiseworthy mom’s attractiveness comes from her relationship with the Lord! To sum it all up, the praiseworthy mom is Christ-like! When you have a real, authentic walk with God, his character—His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, wisdom, and compassion—will fill your heart and life and overflow into the lives of your family.
Conclusion
I know there are likely some moms here today that don’t feel like praiseworthy mothers. My only fear in preaching about this idyllic woman is that some of the moms here might look at this portrait of ideal motherhood and feel inferior—as though you can’t measure up. I don’t think that’s what God intended this passage to be. I think King Lemuel, though he was certainly inspire by the Holy Spirit, was also inspired by his own mother, grandmother, and the other women in his life. It’s a composite picture of good and godly moms everywhere. You’re a lot more like her than you realize.
Don’t see her as a model to imitate in every detail; see her instead as an inspiration to be all that God made you to be—a valuable wife, a vigorous worker, and a virtuous woman!
Invitation
I’d like to close with a special prayer for the moms here today. Pray with me.
Heavenly Father,
We want to lift up the mothers of our church, our community and country before you today. We pray for new mothers, coming to terms with new responsibility; for expectant mothers, wondering and waiting; for mothers who are tired, stressed or depressed; for mothers who struggle to balance the tasks of work and family; for mothers whose children have physical, mental or emotional disabilities; for mothers who raise children on their own; for mothers who have lost a child; for foster moms and adoptive moms; for mothers whose children have left home; and for those whose desire to be a mother has not been fulfilled. Bless all mothers, that their love may be deep and tender, and that they may lead their children to know and love you. Help each one of them, Lord, to be valuable wives, vigorous workers, and virtuous women—deserving of praise, appreciation and recognition.
In the name of your precious Son,
Amen.
