Introduction:
A. A boy once asked his dad, “Dad, how do wars begin?”
1. “Well,” said his father, “Take the First World War, it got started when Germany invaded Belgium.”
2. Immediately the boy’s mother interrupted, “Honey, tell the boy the truth. It began because somebody was assassinated.”
3. The husband drew himself up in an air of superiority and snapped back, “Are you answering the question, or am I?”
4. Turning her back on him in a huff, the wife walked out of the room and slammed the door as hard as she could.
5. When the dishes stopped rattling in the cupboard, an uneasy silence followed.
6. The boy broke the silence, saying, “Daddy, you don’t have to answer my question any more; I now know how wars begin!”
B. The question of the ages is: “Why can’t we all get along?”
1. It’s a question as old as Cain and Able.
2. Our world is full of conflict – just look at what is going on in Afghanistan right now.
3. Our nation is full of conflict – the events in America over the last year or so remind us of just how divided our nation is – divided about COVID, divided by region, race, religion, and politics.
4. Many of our homes and families are full of conflict – including conflicts in marriage, conflicts between parents and children, conflicts between siblings and relatives.
5. And most sad of all, the church experience conflicts – including conflicts within denominations, conflicts between denominations, and conflicts inside congregations between congregation members.
6. Sometimes, when serious doctrinal issues are at stake, division among professing Christians is necessary, but sadly, far too many conflicts in the church are about personalities, petty matters, and pride.
C. Franklin Roosevelt once said, “There is nothing I love as much as a good fight.”
1. From looking at all the conflict over the ages, I think there must be many who agree with him.
2. However, I think the majority of people who find themselves in conflict don’t enjoy it, and they wish they could somehow avoid it.
3. James wrote his practical little letter to help us do just that – to show us how fights get started and how they can be stopped.
4. The artificial break between chapters 3 and 4 is an unfortunate one, because James neither changes the subject nor shifts his emphasis.
5. James’ comments regarding the destructive nature of the tongue, which started in chapter 3, builds to a crescendo here in chapter 4, beginning with the rhetorical question: What is the source of wars and fights among you? (James 4:1)
D. Before we look at James’ answer to that question, let’s establish who is the “among you” who James was referring in verse 1.
1. It is pretty clear from the context of this letter that James is referring to Christians – those who are inside the church, rather than those who are outside the church.
2. And let’s notice also the words that James used to describe what was going on between these Christians – wars and fights.
3. The word “wars” is the general term for an entire war - the big conflict, whereas the word “fights” refers more to individual battles - smaller skirmishes.
4. So, James, acting like a parent stepping into the middle of a squabble between their children, says: “What started this squabble?”
a. But before any finger pointing can begin, James points his finger at the causes of conflict.
b. I don’t want us to rush through this section of James because it is packed full of truth.
c. And because conflict is something we all have to face, it is so important for us to learn why it happens and how to resolve it.
5. Therefore, this week, we will focus on verses 1-6 that address the causes of conflict, and next week, we will focus on the cures for conflict found in verses 7-12.
6. If you work on outlining James 4:1-12, you might notice that it falls nicely into four sections:
a. Conflicts develop because of selfish motives (4:1-3).
b. Conflicts develop because of a lack of allegiance to God (4:4-6).
c. Conflicts resolve when we resist and repent from sin and submit ourselves to God (4:7-10).
d. Conflicts resolve when we stop judging others and humble ourselves before God (4:11-12).
7. As we examine what James says about why conflicts develop and where they come from in verses 1-6, I want us to think about 3 different battles that go on all the time.
a. The first is the battle within, the second is the battle without, and the final and most important is the battle above.
b. Let’s spend a few minutes on each of the battles.
I. Battle # 1: The War Within
A. James says: What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from your passions that wage war within you? (James 4:1)
1. James starts with the true source of all conflict.
2. In the words of the comic strip Pogo, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
3. Why are we so unhappy? Why do we fight with others? Why do we keep getting in trouble?
4. The answer is not “out there” but rather “in here,” on the inside, in the heart, where the real decisions of life are made.
5. Put simply, we are messed up on the outside because we are messed up on the inside.
B. The word translated “passions” in this verse, translates a Greek word from which we get the English word “hedonism,” the pursuit of pleasure at all cost.
1. We want what we want when we want it, and we won’t be happy until we get what we want.
2. Those “passions” are at war within us, making us discontented and self-centered.
3. It might be the desire for more money or a new house or a new spouse or an illicit sexual encounter.
4. It could be a desire for dominance that makes us angry, hostile and ruthless.
5. So we fight to get what we want.
C. One day a man saw Abraham Lincoln walking down the street with his two sons by his side.
1. The boys were loudly fighting about something.
2. When the man asked Mr. Lincoln what the problem was, he replied, “Just what’s the matter with the whole world. I’ve got three walnuts, and each boy wants two.”
3. Nothing has changed, has it?
D. Note what James says that these passions do in us.
1. They fight within us, making us miserable, frustrated and irritable, because they whisper in our ear, “You deserve better. You’re being mistreated. Stop playing nice and go get what you want.”
2. Those inner voices can be very seductive because they speak to us in moments of weakness, when we are tired or out of sorts or alone or feeling sorry for ourselves.
E. It’s a constant battle for us to stay on the right path and not to give in to the passions that cry out for a quick shortcut to happiness.
1. Because of this battle within, we find that with the same mouth we curse and we bless, we proclaim Christ to others and then tell lies.
2. With the same heart we love and we hate.
3. With the same hands we serve and then we steal.
4. With the same eyes we read the Bible and then we watch programs and movies and look at things on the internet that we shouldn’t.
5. The manifestations of the war within may differ from one person to another, but all of us feel the struggle in one way or the other.
6. This war within, then becomes the war without.
II. Battle # 2: The War Without
A. James wrote: You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war. (James 4:2)
1. Sadly, sometimes people do “murder” others literally.
a. Tragically, someone is shot or stabbed in our city almost every night, and many die from their wounds.
b. Why do some people kill each other?
c. Sometimes people kill others because they want what that person has – their car, their money, their Nike sneakers, and their way of making money.
d. Other times, a person kills another person not to get what they have, but to keep them from having what they have – they think, “If I can’t have what you have, I am not going to let you have what you have.”
e. But don’t forget, the war without is coming from the war within.
2. Thankfully, most of us are not guilty of murder in the literal sense, but do we kill in other ways?
a. You will remember that in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus broadened the scope of murder when he said that to hate your brother is to commit murder in your heart (Mt. 5:21-22).
b. And when we allow ourselves to hate someone in our hearts, then we might be tempted to also murder with our words, by uttering insults, lies or rumors.
B. But as James points out these outward conflicts begin with the war within.
1. Unsatisfied desire leads to deep resentment.
2. The word translated “covet” means to boil with envy.
3. It is so hard for most of us to see others do better than us.
4. We feel that they don’t deserve what they have, or at least we deserve to have what they have.
5. We think, “If only we had gotten the breaks they got!” It’s just not far.
C. And where does all that resentment lead?
1. Look at the verse again: You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war.
2. What does it lead to? It leads to “fights and war!”
3. The war within leads to the war without, but it doesn’t stop there.
4, There is another war going on also.
III. Battle # 3: The War Above
A. It is a spiritual battle and James describes it this way: You do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4 You adulterous people! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the friend of the world becomes the enemy of God. (2b-4)
1. Do you notice the natural progression in these verses?
2. First, in the progression, there is self-reliance. “You do not have, because you do not ask.”
a. This person doesn’t pray because they don’t have time, or don’t think it makes a difference, or they feel like they can handle life on their own.
3. Second, in the progression, when they do get around to praying, it is selfish prayer.
a. This is when a person treats God like He is a Celestial Bellhop – you just ring the bell and God does what you tell Him to do – or like the Jeanie in the bottle.
4. Then, finally in the progression, there is there is spiritual adultery.
a. James hits us pretty hard when he calls us “you adulterous people!”
b. There are other more explicit terms that could be used that are less palatable, but we get it.
c. In Judges 2:17, God used even stronger language about Israel’s unfaithfulness: But they did not listen to their judges. Instead, they prostituted themselves with other gods.
d. Throughout the OT, God is seen as the husband and Israel is His bride.
e. In NT imagery, Jesus is the bridegroom, and the church is His bride.
f. Truth is, just like Israel, you and I can easily become adulterous people.
g. The kind of adultery James was talking about was spiritual in nature rather than sexual.
h. James is talking about spiritual adultery in which we are unfaithful to God.
I. When we are having an affair with the world, then we are being unfaithful to our heavenly spouse.
B. When James speaks of being a friend of the world or of loving the world, he’s not referring to the literal ball of dirt called the earth.
1. Rather James is referring to the “world system” or the “worldly culture” that leaves God out.
2. This “world” is selfish to the core.
3. It operates on the level of pure human desire and materialism.
4. This “world” has no use for God and is opposed to God and is destined for destruction, as the apostle John talks about in 1 John 2:17.
C. Think with me for a minute about how physical, sexual affairs come about.
1. Sometimes it begins when there is distance in the marital relationship.
2. Then there is someone who comes along who pays attention to the person who is unhappy in their marriage.
3. They make an emotional connection that gratifies their needs.
4. They start finding ways to meet that person in secret.
5. Finally, there is the culminating physical act of adultery.
D. Most people who end up in an affair don’t wake up saying, “I think I will have an affair today!”
1. Rather, it happens so subtly as their unhappiness leads to estrangement that creates loneliness that opens the door to another person.
2. One thing leads to another, and suddenly their marriage and life is in ruins.
E. And it happens the same way in the spiritual realm.
1. We don’t set out to be unfaithful to God.
2. Spiritual adultery happens because we get our feelings hurt, someone betrays us, a friend mistreats us, and little by little, anger and disappointment with God gets a foothold in the heart.
3. From that “base camp” of sin, Satan can now attack in any direction he wants.
4. The world begins to entice us and we begin spending more time with the world than God, and God begins to feel the distance and senses our divided heart.
F. James reminds us of a theme that is ever present in Scripture: our God is a jealous God.
1. James wrote: Or do you think it’s without reason that the Scripture says: The spirit he made to dwell in us envies intensely? (James 4:5)
2. God reacts with holy jealousy when we become enamored with and entangled with the world.
3. We’re accustomed to thinking of jealousy as entirely negative, but there is such a thing as godly jealousy.
4. It’s right for my wife to want my total faithfulness to her and it’s right for me to want the same thing in return.
a. What would we think of a husband who said to his wife, “Go ahead and have an affair. It won’t bother me”?
b. We would think that either he didn’t love his wife, or he was already having an affair of his own.
c. So, in a godly marriage, there is a healthy form of jealousy that husbands and wives should have for each other.
5. Of course, there is also a sinful form of jealousy that can happen in marriage.
a. You’ve likely heard of husbands or wives who have been so insecure or suspicious of their spouse that they didn’t want them to talk to someone of the opposite sex, or checked the odometer to see if there were extra unexplained miles on the car.
b. That kind of jealousy isn’t out of love, but is an expression of paranoia or an attempt to control.
6. But true and healthy love is jealous - if the love is right, then the jealousy is right.
a. It is right for God to be jealous for our undivided allegiance because of the covenant between us.
b. Because God loves us, He wants our wholehearted devotion.
c. Because God redeemed us, He wants our grateful obedience.
d. Because God brought us into his family, He wants our loyal love.
7. But in the end, if we are drawn away from God and into a relationship with the world, then the result is going to be conflict.
a. God is not going to put up with our spiritual adultery without a godly fight.
Conclusion:
A. Let’s bring today’s lesson to a close.
1. Let’s review what we have learned today from this section of James.
2. We have learned that our conflicts come from our desires that battle with us.
3. The battle within us becomes the battle without us and the battle above us.
4. Ultimately, we are prone to selfishness, covetousness and spiritual adultery.
5. This conflict within is going to create conflict between us and others, and between us and God.
B. Next week, Lord willing, we will come back to James 4 and see the cures James offers for these conflicts, but for today, let’s notice that in verse 6, James gives some keys to the cure – humility and God’s grace.
1. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
2. Notice that James bookends this section verses 6 through 10 with humility and God’s grace.
C. Where do you find yourself today?
1. Do you find yourself engulfed in conflict within, without, and above?
2. Do you find yourself without peace with yourself, without peace with others, and without peace with God?
3. Here’s the good news for all of us – If the gospel of God’s grace means anything it means that if we will humble ourselves, God will meet us wherever we are right now, even with our selfishness, our covetousness, and our spiritual adultery, and God will offer us grace.
4. And not just any grace – James says God gives us greater grace!
5. More grace when we are weary, feel trapped, are scared, have doubts, and have messed up.
6. If we think we deserve grace, we can never have it, but if we admit we don’t deserve it, we can have as much grace as we need.
7. Let’s humble ourselves before God so that God will give us grace and lift us up.
Resources:
• “Why Can’t We All Get Along?” Sermon by Ray Pritchard
• “The Source of Conflicts” Steven Cole
• James – Hands-on Christianity, by Charles Swindoll, Insight for Living, 2003.
• “The Cure for Conflict” Sermon by David Owens
