THE GRACE OF OVERLOOKING AN INSULT
INTRODUCTION
A. HUMOR: Stories from Alaska
1. What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in Alaska and vacations in antarctica? A BIPOLAR BEAR
2. Culturally no one in Alaska dates in the winter. Why not? "Because it’s hard to break the ice."
3. An Alaskan said to Texan: ‘Stop bragging about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.’
4. What do you call an eye doctor living in Alaska? An optical Aleutian.
B. DEFINITION OF “OVERLOOK”
1. Tonight we’re looking at an important tool for life. Most of us will be insulted by someone at one time or another, the person saying something unkind or mean. God calls upon us to overlook the transgression.
2. To “overlook” means to “look past,” to “ignore,” or to “excuse.” For example, most married people have to learn to overlook their spouse’s minor faults. If you’re a parent, you have to overlook some of your child’s minor misbehaviors.
3. We’re looking at how, why, and what is overlooking. Clarification: overlooking an offense is not to be confused with submitting to abusive people or unacceptable circumstances. Jesus calls us to be foot washers, not doormats!
4. TITLE: “The Grace of Overlooking an Insult.”
I. IT’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE WHICH NATURE IS IN CONTROL
A. WHICH NATURE IS IN CONTROL?
1. Who’s in control of us: our old natures or our new nature in Christ? Proverbs 12:16 contrasts what a fallen nature does compared to a godly; “Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent (wise) overlook an insult.” We play a part in which is stronger.
2. ILLUS. Which Nature Will Dominate
a. In Alaska there was a man who had two twin wolves, brothers, that he trained to obey him. He used them to hold dog fights. People from all around would come and place bets on which one would win.
b. Although the dogs were identical in size and strength, the owner somehow knew which one would win. A friend asked him, “How do you always know which one is going to win?” He replied, “The one that I feed best that week is the one who will win.” [Source unknown]
c. This is true of us; if we feed the flesh, it will dominate us. If we feed our spiritual nature exclusively, it will dominate. Are you doing what you need to for Christ’s nature in you to win?
3. Prov. 19:11 tells us “...it is to one’s GLORY to overlook an offense.” Why is it a praiseworthy trait to overlook an insult? Because it shows that we’re “growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). We’re being transformed and no longer act like short-tempered lost people.
B. EMULATE CHRIST
1. Jesus is our example of how to act. Many times He was disrespected; by the Jewish leaders, by his family, even by His followers. Do we think we’re exempt from such mistreatment?
2. Have you considered how Jesus remained silent when He was insulted? How He didn’t answer back the High Priest or his accusers many times? “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” 1 Pet. 2:23.
3. So we shouldn’t be surprised when we’re insulted and we should follow His example in how to respond to them!
II. INSULTED? GET MORE INFORMATION
A. IT MAY BE A MISUNDERSTANDING
1. Sometimes, when people have come to me with an apparent problem, I jumped to the conclusion that they were about to bring up a criticism about me. Usually, it turned out not to be an insult, but rather some kind of misunderstanding – the result of incomplete information.
2. It’s a good idea to let people finish what they have to say before you develop a response. “He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him” Prov. 18:13.
B. DOES THE INSULT HAVE SOME TRUTH IN IT?
1. Discretion teaches us to delay speaking until we have considered all the merits of the criticism, bring them into the light of truth and weigh them in a just balance.
2. Criticisms frequently have some basis in reality; we should ask ourselves if the insult can be true. If it’s not true, then we can ignore it; “Like a flitting sparrow, like a flying swallow, so a curse without cause shall not alight” Proverbs 26:2. An unjust insult will never stick to me because it has no basis in truth.
C. HOW IMPORTANT AN ISSUE IS IT?
1. We don’t want to make a big deal over every issue. As they said in Vietnam, “You must choose which mountain you’re going to die on.” Not every mountain is worth dying on. If you’re going to use your influence over others, only do it when the issue is important enough.
2. People quit listening to a person who’s always talking. Let your words be few, and people (and God) may listen to you. Don’t be forever blustering about everything. As James said, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” Jam. 1:19. Don’t blow things out of proportion!
III. CONSIDER THE SOURCE
A. DON’T RESPOND TO BAD PEOPLE
1. Many times good people have been provoked into saying or doing foolish things. The other person may not control their tongue, but that doesn’t mean we should stoop to their level.
2. A top priority these days is to consider, “If I respond to a person, how they are likely to react?” Many people on social media are bored and trying to do anything to generate excitement. Plus, they may love to fight and have biases against Christians or you yourself. To answer them with a ‘post’ gives them a bigger audience and keeps the turmoil going.
B. FABLE OF THE DOG
1. There was a dog who just couldn’t stand for another dog to get the best of him in any way. One day this dog came across a large juicy steak that had fallen off a meat wagon. The dog picked up the steak and started running with it. All was going well until he started across a bridge with water underneath. He noticed, there under the bridge was another dog with a big steak in his mouth.
2. He began to growl at the dog, and it looked as though the dog was growling back at him. He got so upset that he went to bark at the dog, and when he opened his mouth, the steak fell out into the river and sank to the bottom never to be seen again. Only then did he recognize he was looking at a reflection of himself in the water. The moral of the story is that if we’re easily provoked, we’ll lose the blessings we could’ve had.
C. DON’T STIR THE POT
1. The best thing to do is not to respond to a bad person. It’s hard to have a quarrel when the other person won’t respond. So the attack dies. A friend once told me, “The more you stir the pot, the more it stinks.” This is true.
2. Proverbs warns us, “Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you...” Prov. 9:7-8. Don’t take the bait! They’re meaner than you & will go farther down!
IV. CARE ONLY WHAT GOD THINKS, NOT PEOPLE
A. DO WE WANT OTHER’S APPROVAL?
1. When we overlook an offense, we can rejoice that we’re gaining freedom from living as approval seekers. Paul said, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?...If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal. 1:10.
2. Christians are a people whose joy doesn’t need to be connected to what others think and say about us.
B. FEAR OF MAN IS A SNARE
1. “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe” Prov. 29:25. To fear people isn’t so much to be afraid of them, but to esteem their approval too much.
2. We look either to God or to people as the SOURCE of our joy. People always make poor saviors. We shouldn’t give people the power to either shame us or exalt us. Only God should hold that power over us!
V. SHOW THEM GRACE
A. WE DO THE SAME THING
1. “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you— for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others” Eccles. 7:21-22. The Lord warned us not to “look at the speck...in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye” Mt. 7:3.
2. Humility should inform us that WE DO THE SAME THING, just in a different way, so we shouldn’t think others are evil and we are righteous. We’re all broken people and sometimes we say hurtful things, not out of hate, but out of our own weaknesses and frailty. We must forgive and overlook what others say.
B. GRACE COVERS SHAME
1. Proverbs 12:16, “A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covers shame.” “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” 1 Pet. 4:8. Think how man of our sins God has overlooked and covered by His grace. We should do the same for others.
2. ILLUS. OF THE ALASKAN TOWN
a. A man went to a northern Alaska town late in the summertime and was shocked at how junky the inhabitants let their yards get. Old cars, washing machines, various broken appliances and old furniture littered their front yards.
b. He thought, “This people are perfect pigs! How can they live like this all year? Back home we would be ashamed!” But two weeks later 36 inches of snow fell, and the yards were transformed into pristine snow fields, beautiful to look upon.
3. That’s what God’s grace does; it covers all the sin and shameful things of our lives with a covering of beauty. If God does it for us, we should do it for others!
CONCLUSION
A. ILLUSTRATION: What Took Away the Bitterness
1. A poor stonemason in China was robbed by a highwayman and struck on the knee. His knee became infected. After months it healed, but his leg was then doubled up and so stiff that he could not use it.
2. While he was in a Christian hospital where his leg was gradually restored, his neighbors looted his fields and robbed his father. He was yearning to get well to take revenge on his assailant, and now he was even more impatient to get well that he might take it out on his neighbors.
3. But gradually a change came over him, and when he went away, healed and strong, and I was telling him to forgive them as Christ had forgiven him, he said: "Don't you worry. As soon as ever I understood what Christ had done for me, all the bitterness and enmity went out of my heart, and now I don't want to hurt them anymore."
4. He took home Gospels and tracts, and came back to tell me how happy he was: all his affairs were prospering, and his family and neighbors becoming interested in the truth. He was a great, big, strong fellow who would have plunged into a lifelong feud, but for the Savior; and he is now heaping coals of fire on the heads of his enemies by evangelizing them. [The Earnest Worker]
B. THE CALL
1. Do you know of someone who has done you wrong? Is there someone you need to forgive?
2. How many of you would like extra grace to assist you in facing some of the ungodly people you have to deal with?
3. Let’s make sure that Christ is on the throne of your heart. Let’s pray!
