HOW TO HELP FRIENDS BALANCE OUT THEIR EMPHASIS ON THE "DO'S AND DON'TS" OF SCRIPTURE
Some of our Christian friends tend to struggle with an over emphasis on the "don'ts of scripture." At the heart of the problem is an inability to grow in all aspects of one's faith. Some people attend church all their lives, but are still infants in respect to their faith. They rely on disciplines that are mainly fit for a child. Deficiencies in one's spiritual growth may lead to more serious character defects later in life. One's inability to practically apply all aspects of the scripture may lead to a retarding of spiritual development in key dimensions of life.
One day an elderly pastor saw a crowd of boys surrounding a cute puppy dog. Eager anticipations marked every boy's face as they eyed the dog. "What is everybody so happy about this morning?" the old Reverend asked. "We are having a contest to see who wins this new puppy," replied the oldest boy. "What are the rules, I would like to get in on the contest," half jokingly, the pastor said. "Whoever is able to tell the biggest lie wins the dog!" said the young boy in the group. Shocked, the elderly Pastor said, "Oh boys, When I was a young boy about your ages, I NEVER ever told a lie!"
The boys paused and looked at each other with sheer amazement for nearly a whole minute. Finally, the oldest boy spoke, "Here's the dog, Mister! None of us could ever beat that story!"
The Pastor won by inadvertently failing to acknowledge either his overt or covert mis-statements of the past. He had failed to grow in one critical area that even young boys noticed.
We all have areas of our lives that we are consciously or unconsciously not where we would like to be. Each of us need others to help us discover our blind spots. We all need greater humility, love or holiness. We never grow too old to improve.
On the other hand, some ultra conservatives believe that by warning people about what NOT to do they can help preserve some kind of innate morality. Some Christians see their principal enemies as outside of themselves in the form of a rival, Satan, or a carnal group of people. Instead, most ultra conservatives would do well to remember that their greatest enemy is within their own sinful human nature. Some individuals need to focus on overcoming the enemy that is within their own sinful nature before they engage in protests against abortion clinics, homosexuals, or even the alleged sexual indiscretions of leaders of state. Anybody who tells you he has never made a mistake is probably relying on a poor memory - theirs or yours!
Jesus said, "What comes out of a man is what makes him unclean. For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly" (Mark 7:20,21). Every outward act of sin is proceeded by an inward act of choice. Therefore, Jesus addresses the root cause of man's worst problem - sin. Sin is missing the mark of God's holiness in our character, thinking and actions. Sin is like a thief - it seeks to kill, slaughter, steal and destroy (John 10:10). Sin is unclean like pigs - 2 Peter 2:22 says, "Of them the proverbs are true; 'A dog returns to its vomit" and 'A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud." Sin is poisonous like a viper. Psalm 140:3 says, "They make their tongues as sharp as a serpents; the poison of vipers is on their lips." Sin is like a cancer as it destroys from within. James writes, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it so you fight and quarrel. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want" (James 4:1,2). The following Biblical admonishments show how to balance the don'ts with the do's when it comes to our interpersonal relationships:
Interpersonal Do's and Don'ts
Do's
1. Love one another as Jesus Christ has loved you. (John 13:34,35)
2. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love and pursue Godly goals together. (Romans 12:10)
3. Honor one another above yourself and speak affirmingly to each other with respect. (Rom. 12:10)
4. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. (Romans 12:13)
5. Bless those who persecute you. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Rom.12:14)
6. Live in harmony with one another. Be willing to associate with people of low position. (Rom. 12:16)
7. Do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, live at peace with everyone. (Rom 12:17,18)
8. Accept him whose faith is weak without passing judgment on disputable matters. (Rom. 14:1)
9. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no harm to its neighbor. (Rom. 13:9,10)
10. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. (Rom. 13:7)
11. Make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (Rom. 14:19)
12. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Rom. 15:7)
13. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love. (Eph. 5:1)
14. Do something useful with your hands that you may have something to share with those in need. (Eph. 4:28)
15. Put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (Eph. 4:25)
16. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Eph. 4:32)
17. Speak the truth in love so that you may grow up into Him who is the Head, that is Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (Eph. 4:15,16)
18. As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell richly in you as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts. (Col. 3:12-16)
19. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Phil. 2:3,4)
20. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure. (Phil. 2:14)
21. Warn the idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone. Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances. (I Thes. 5:14-18)
Don'ts
1. Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. (Rom. 12:3)
2. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Rom. 12:16)
3. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. (Rom. 12:17)
4. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. (Rom. 12:19)
5. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom. 12:21)
6. Do not let any debt remain outstanding…Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not covet. (Rom. 13:8,9)
7. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. (Rom. 14:15)
8. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God… Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (Eph. 4:29-31)
9. In your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold. (Eph. 4:26)
10. Do not live by your sinful desires, they are in conflict with your spiritual nature. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissension, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. (Gal. 5:17-21)
11. Do not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Gal. 5:26)
12. Do not bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. (Gal. 5:15)
13. Therefore, do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival.. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ. (Col. 2:16)
14. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
15. Do not put out the Spirit's fire… Test everything. Hold on to what is good. Avoid every kind of evil. (I Thes. 5:19-22)
16. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. (2 Tim. 2:23)
