Who's Shaping You?
Prov. chapter 5: 1-23
Prov. 6:20-35
In our study of the Book of Proverbs we find that the promise of success for the righteous and destruction for the wicked need to read as general principles that are usually—but not always—fulfilled on this side of glory . Ultimately, those proverbs that promise rewards for the righteous and punishment for the wicked are fulfilled. For in the new heaven and earth, all of those who have been declared righteous in Christ will enjoy eternal life in the renewed creation while the wicked will suffer eternal death in the lake of fire (Rev. 20:11–21:27).
To the extent that the book of Proverbs points to the fulfillment of its sayings in the afterlife, it does so somewhat indirectly, for it does not explicitly reveal the nature of heaven and hell. Instead, Proverbs bears more of an implicit witness to the life that is to come and the final realization of God’s blessing in the new creation through an emphasis on God’s attributes of omniscience and omnipresence. For example, Proverbs 15:3 tells us that the eyes of the Lord are everywhere in order to watch over those who do evil and those who do good. This indicates that even when no one else sees our actions, God remains fully aware of our every step and keeps a record.
In this study we find Solomon devotes an entire chapter to a “man to man” talk with his son about sexual immorality.
Proverbs 5 presents in three sections a father’s call for his son to avoid immorality
The structure is
(1) a warning (5:1-6),
(2) a laying out of consequences for disobedience (5:7-14),
(3) It then concludes in verses 15-23 with the godly means of satisfying sexual desire.
Like guardrails on the highway, God’s wisdom gives us guidance on how our desire for intimacy can be channeled in an appropriate direction, without bringing harm to us or others. This lecture begins with the familiar words, “My son.”
5:1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
turn your ear to my words of insight,
2 that you may maintain discretion
and your lips may preserve knowledge.
3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;
4 but in the end she is bitter as gall,
sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 She gives no thought to the way of life;
her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.
Notice the strong call here for the son to diligently walk in wisdom and be on guard for the dangers he will face. This is a general call applicable to sons and daughters, but the particular warnings to watch over his heart (4: 23) and keep his eyes focused on the goal (4: 25) are especially relevant to the issues of walking in sexual purity The temptation to sexual sin comes through the eyes and the heart . It is crucial that a man learn to protect himself from such enticements by keeping his eyes focused where they are supposed to be and to guard his mind and emotions lest his will be lead astray into unrighteousness. Though women may not be sexually aroused as men are by what they see, their eyes can lead them astray in many other areas, and guarding the heart is essential.
The contrast between reality and what the immoral woman appears to be is great. Her lips drip with honey which is sweet, but in the end she is bitter(5: 3) Her speech is as smooth as oil, but in the end she is sharp(5: 4) . The warnings are just as great. The fun and excitement she may appear to give to life will end in death(5:5) She is also ignorant of her true condition and where she is actually heading(5:6)
In verse 7 that the father’s warning expands from a son to sons, plural. There is a larger group being called to pay attention to the warning and the solution that will follow. The advice is short and to the point in verse 8. Stay far away from her in your travels and do not go near where she lives. In other words, if you avoid her totally, you can avoid the sin that will occur with her. A simple solution, but one tragically ignored for men and women often put themselves in danger of temptation by where they choose to go and with whom they choose to spend their time. I will add this also includes what they choose for entertainment.
Verses 9-10 give multiple reasons for this advice which can be reduced to the idea that it will ruin your life. The idea of giving your years to the cruel one as well as strangers getting your strength and a stranger getting your wealth are the various costs and penalties that come as a consequence to having a relationship with a wayward woman. These are the direct costs of being involved with a wayward woman , but you also subject yourself to blackmail by her or anyone else that finds out.
In verses 11-13 Solomon is giving the result of disregarding the warnings given regarding sexual immorality The description here is of a person groaning in pain and sorrow as their physical body wastes away . It is a testimony given to the assembly at old age when many people become reflective enough to think seriously about what they have done in life and recognize how foolish they have been.
In verse 14, we find that this person was on the verge, the edge, the brink, of complete ruin, but had not crossed that final line into it . That is probably a reference to being stoned for sexual immorality as commanded in the Mosaic Law in Leviticus 20 and Deuteronomy 22. That would be utter ruin.
In the last section, the father points his son to the solution for his sexual desires. Within this description metaphors abound in describing the marital relationship. Here is what Solomon says.
Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress And embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, And He watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, And he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray - 5:15-23.
Proverbs 5:15-20 is not about issues such as water management. However, Solomon's use of water- management related metaphors as a way of speaking about faithfulness in marriage is ecologically insightful. The young man is commanded to drink water from his own cistern/well and to prevent the water from his own fountains/springs from flowing into the streets and public places (vv. 15-18).
Because of the scarcity of rainfall, wells and cisterns were vitally important for the people in a city or a village..
It was therefore the responsibility of the king to dig and maintain in good condition the public well for a city (Num 21:18). However, given that wells could not be drilled everywhere, the making of cisterns was a considerable development that boosted human settlement, especially in places where perennial streams and other water sources were not numerous, reliable or voluminous.
Cisterns were also used either to supplement the water supply during the summer (when wells and other sources dried up), or they acted as wells - as public property - in places where it was difficult to dig a well. The advantage of a cistern is that it can be made anywhere (in gardens, fields, deserts, at home) with all kinds of dimensions, since the issue of depth does not apply.
The text of Prov 5:15 shows that private cisterns were found in homes in contrast to public cisterns Given the hard work and regular maintenance checks involved in keeping a cistern, it is clear that owning a private cistern is an indication of wealth.
Water was vital for life. Waters, rivers, springs, cisterns and wells were frequently mentioned in the Old Testament as sources of life. Water was also a symbol of joy and renewal in the arid land of Palestine. Finding an oasis in the desert brought relief from the scorching heat and moments of relaxation in the shade enjoying the cool water.
With such a background the injunction to drink from your own cistern, the flowing waters from your own well powerfully expressed the joy of sexual fulfillment with one’s spouse alone. In verse 17 the Hebrew text emphasizes that these joys are for you "alone;" they are not to be shared.
Verse 16 points out the opposite. Throwing water in the street was unthinkable in the area where there was a water scarcity . Also water was too precious to be thrown in the street. Solomon using what was common sense instructs his son that wasting sexual intimacy was equally ridiculous.
No good comes out of marital infidelity. No good comes from disregarding God’s covenant. No good comes from thinking oneself an exception to the standards of faithfulness and obedience that God has laid down for both marriage and relationship with himself. God has constructed the universe with moral structures as unbreakable as the scientific laws that govern matter and energy. The Biblical commands to sexual purity, marital fidelity, and spiritual holiness were not given to restrict life and take away joy. They were given because God created man for wholeness and holiness, because purity and focus and joy is only possible when we live within the structures of the moral universe God has created Solomon warns his son of the devastating consequences of wrong sexual choices.
Solomon describes marital love in a beautiful fashion in verses 15-19 concluding that the man is to be find his satisfaction and be exhilarated, enraptured (NKJV), intoxicated (ESV – cf Isaiah 28:7), ravished (KJV) with his wife . Similar language is used throughout the Song of Solomon. However, what is good, holy and beautiful within marriage is evil, wicked and ugly outside of marriage. The same word is used in verse 20 in warning his son about being exhilarated by an adulteress and embracing a
foreigner.
And lest his son think he might get away with it by doing it in secret, verse 21 points out that there is no hiding from God. The Lord sees all the ways of man.
The final warnings in verses 22-23 point out the danger of flirting with what is sinful. Sin captures and binds the sinner and lead to his demise. Do not be like the one who only recognizes and confesses their foolishness when they are dying (mentioned earlier in verses 11-14) Take hold of instruction now and avoid the folly to lead you astray.
In our next section of Proverbs we will take a look at influence. - Proverbs 6:20-35 NIV
We are going to focus our attention this morning on verses 20-23. It is these verses that are the real remedy to the problem of getting entrapped by the things that can destroy us. If we will learn the lesson of verses 20-23 then we will have a ready defense to guard against the attacks of Satan and the desires of the flesh.
20 My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, (Proverbs 6:20-23 NIV)
The commandments of the father and teaching of the mother in verse 20 refers ultimately to the Scriptures, since parents are responsible for teaching their children God’s Word (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). Verse 21 pleads with us to hold the Scriptures so closely that we might as well have them bound to our heart or tied around our neck.
This is not the first time Solomon has instructed his son to pay attention to the lesson that he is offering him. Throughout the first six chapters of Proverbs we read about Solomon telling his son to 'pay attention,' to 'write the instruction on his heart,' and to 'not forsake his teaching.' Here again in chapter 6, we read Solomon's words, 'Keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching.' Solomon tells his son to do two things: First, he is to 'bind them upon his heart.' Secondly, he is to 'fasten them around his neck.' What Solomon is telling his son is that he is to make this teaching prominent in his life. He is not to have a 'Sunday morning faith' or simply give lip service to the Word of God, but it is important that he make God's teachings the most important thing in his life.
If Solomon's son will heed his dad's advice and make godly teaching the most important thing in his life then he will experience three marvelous blessings take place in his life.
(1) if he will pursue the Lord with all of his heart, then, God's Word will guide him.
(2) when he sleeps God's Word will watch over him.
(3) of all, when he wakes up in the morning God's Word will speak to him, it will counsel him. I want to take a look at each of these individually .
Solomon doesn't want his son to be influenced and shaped by those who might lead him astray he wants his son to be influenced and led by the Lord and His teaching. The Hebrew word for 'guide,' that we see in verse 20, means, 'to lead, guide,' or 'to govern.' The word carries with it the sense of instruction. As you walk with the Lord you will be instructed and His instruction will govern your life.
The second blessing that will come to those who pursue wisdom life above all else is that they will have restful, peaceful sleep. Their rest and peace in the night is not because they are taking sleeping pills or have a bodyguard. But because they know that the Lord is watching over them. Take a look once again at Proverbs 6:22.
"When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. "
Once again, we have to remember that the prerequisite of experiencing these blessings in our life is that we walk with God. Please, please do not allow anyone to lead you to believe that you can give God mere lip service or treat Him like He is a " rabbit's foot" charm and expect Him to guide, watch over, and counsel you. It just won't happen. We need to remember Asaph's words, in Psalm 73:28, Asaph wrote,
"But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. "(Psalm 73:28 NIV)
Asaph says that he made the Sovereign Lord his refuge. He knew that God was in control and he was not. He knew the Lord loved him and was his refuge. This is the same idea of what we find here in Proverbs 6:22 where Solomon says that God will watch over us while we sleep. The word that is used by Solomon for 'watch' means, 'to keep, guard, observe.' Let me show you another verse where this same word appears.
In Proverbs 2:6-8, Solomon told his son about how the Lord will guard his way.
"For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones." (Proverbs 2:6-8 NIV)
The last blessing that is promised to those who pursue God with all of their hearts is that when they wake up in the morning God's Word will counsel them, it will speak to their hearts. The Hebrew word for 'speak' found in Proverbs 6:22 means, 'to put forth, mediate, commune, speak, complain.' For those who are seeking God with all of their hearts, God's Word will counsel and speak to them before they ever leave the house.
God's Word, God's counsel, and His Sovereign guidance are the most wonderful thing you've ever experienced in life! We spend so much time and money seeking advice from people from friends, professionals, books, seminars, and such. If we would spend the same amount of time and energy seeking God then we would experience His counsel, correction, and guidance rush in like a flood. In Proverbs 6:23 we read,
For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, (Proverbs 6:23 NIV)
Make no mistake about it we live in a darkened world and there are many troubles for us to experience in life. We can't avoid many of the trials and trouble that will come our way and figure our way out on our own way out We can seek the wisdom of those around us or we can allow God's Word to light the way for us. In Psalm 119:105 we read,
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. (Psalm 119:105 NIV)
God's Word will light the way for you and me if we will seek to walk in the light. God's Word will show us the way if we will walk in the light. God's Word will correct us when we get off track and lead us back into the light of His glorious will and truth for our life if we will walk in the light. I say, 'If we will walk in the light' because this is not what comes naturally to us. What comes naturally for you and me is to avoid the light and walk in our own determination and resourcefulness. When our sin leads us astray or troubles come our way our first reaction is not ' Lord, show me the way. Show me what You are desiring to teach me. Help me to trust You in the midst of this trouble.'
Our first reaction is to figure out a way we can get it behind us, get it over with, and be done with it so that we can head on down the road. God desires more for us than that my friends. He desires that you and I live by His Word, trust Him with all of our hearts, and grow in our walk with Him moment by moment and with each experience of life.
Coming to the final verses of chapter 6 verse 25 is primary command, while verses 26-35 discuss the reason for, and necessity of, obeying it. So what is the command? Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. Note that Solomon is fully aware of how appealing sexual sin is. In chapter 5, he said that the Adulteress’ lips dripped honey (5:3). She is seductive and alluring, not merely to the eye but also to the heart. The word desire here is the same used for covet in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:17; Deuteronomy 5:21). It is a strong, almost overwhelming, want of something, and it comes from the heart. Too often, we treat lust as a sin of the sight which leads to sin of action, but lust is a sin of the heart, which then leads to sight and action.
Jesus Himself taught us this truth: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).
Verse 26 begins Solomon’s attack against desiring the Forbidden Woman by describing its ease relative to its cost. By stating that a prostitute can be bought for a loaf of bread but a married woman kills, Solomon is not saying to avoid married women but prostitutes are fine Solomon is not saying that you should choose to sleep with prostitutes instead of the wives of other men. The prostitute only costs a loaf of bread, which is much less cheaper than losing your life . - if caught you could lose your life by stoning .
Verses 27-29 give us a mental-image metaphor of the foolishness of sexual immorality. Verses 27-28 ask rhetorical questions: Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet no be scorched? The simplicity of these questions is almost offensive to commonsense. The answer is obvious that it is absurd to even have bothered asking the question at all. Of course, in verse 29, we discover that that is the point. So is the connecting word. The man who commits adultery is like a man carrying fire next to his chest and expecting to not be burned. Such is the foolishness of sin. When we sin, we fully expect the consequences to be withheld. We imagine ourselves as the exception to the rule, but Solomon is clear: none who touches her will go unpunished. The word none leaves zero room for wiggling free. Punishment will fall upon those who commit sexual immorality. Period.
Since the discussion of the chapter is sexual immorality, verses 30-31 appear to be quite out of place. Why does Solomon suddenly dive into discussing the thief? He is presenting a comparison of sin’s consequences. When a thief steals because he is hungry, he is not despised (meaning people are understanding of his plight), but if he is caught, there are still severe consequences for his actions. Adultery is altogether different. Sex is not a necessity nor an inherent right of humanity. Someone caught in adultery is not treated with the same level of understanding as the thief. In this way, the adulterer lacks sense (or heart), and he destroys himself. The wounds of lust are self-inflicted wounds of dishonor and disgrace. Verses 34-35 describe the wrath of an adulteress’ husband as a consequence of adultery, but the principle stands with all forms of sexual sin: we cannot escape the punishment that follows sin.
We will end our study with two thoughts from previous verses.
First, recall that verse 29 states that no one who touches the Adulteress will go unpunished. This verse is significant for two reasons. Because the Adulteress is a poetic representation of sexual sin (and even sin in general), this verse is not merely for those who commit the actual act of adultery.
We could just as easily say that “none who look at porn will go unpunished”, “none who lust in their heart will go unpunished”, or even “none who gossip will go unpunished”. The point is that while the principle is being applied to sexual sin it still stands for all sin in general. Nahum 1:3 supports this claim: “The Lord is slow to anger and great in power, and the Lord will by no means clear the guilty.” Notice the certainty of that claim. By no means will the Lord clear the guilty. That is the same message of Proverbs 6:29. God will allow no sin to go unpunished.
I want to invite you this morning to recognize that apart from surrendering our hearts to Jesus we will never experience the lasting blessings of these promises that we've studied. Before we can ever experience the wondrous blessings of God we must submit to the wonderful plan of God for each of our lives. The first step of His plan is to surrender our hearts to Jesus as Lord and Savior of our lives. We need to admit that we are hopeless sinners who can be saved, restored, and led only by the wondrous grace of His Son Jesus. Won't you invite Him in'
But how do we know this Christ and His gospel? We come to know Christ through His revealed Word, the Scriptures. By this thought, we see that Scripture preserves us from evil (v. 24) by taking us to Christ. Thus, if you are weary of battling a losing-war against your sin, go to Christ in His Word.
Saturate your life with God’s truth, and you will soon find yourself in the midst of God Himself.
We can never overcome sin by focusing upon sin; instead, we must focus on Jesus and His Word.
