PRELUDE MUSIC
PRE-CEREMONY ANNOUNCEMENT
To honor the sanctity of this service, please turn off your cell phones and refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony.
SEATING OF PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS
MOTHERS LIGHT FAMILY CANDLES
GROOM AND GROOMSMEN COME UP STAIRS AND GET IN POSITION
USHERS ROLL AISLE RUNNER FROM FRONT TO BACK
BRIDESMAIDS COME DOWN
BRIDAL PROCESSIONAL
GIVING OF THE BRIDE
TO LUCAS: “Lucas, do you receive Megan as a gift from God? Do you pledge to leave your father and mother and all others and to cleave unto Megan as long as you both shall live?” (I do)
TO MEGAN: “Megan, do you accept Lucas as God’s man for your life? Do you pledge to leave your father and mother and all others and to cleave unto Lucas so long as you both shall live?” (I do)
FATHER: Our answer to the question, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” is her mother and I do. “Beth and I give our full blessing to the marriage of Megan and Lucas. As Megan’s father, I hereby transfer my God-given responsibility for the care and protection of our daughter to this godly man.”
TO LUCAS: “Lucas, the God-given responsibility for the care and protection of Megan is hereby transferred to you. Do you accept this responsibility?” (I do)
PLEASE BE SEATED
Lucas and Megan walk up the stairs to the platform.
WELCOME!
Thank you for gathering with Lucas and Megan as they make a covenant commitment in marriage before our Triune God. We live in a culture that dismisses marriage as an irrelevant relic of tradition. The spirit of our times has vigorously sought to dilute the sanctity of marriage through its condescending disregard, disrespect, and redefinition.
But the truth is, marriage has never found its worth or definition from any society or culture because marriage is the exclusive design of God’s personal genius. It has withstood the test of time and will continue to endure as a living memorial of God’s gracious provision for His creatures, remaining an institution created in His perfect wisdom and established by His infinite power.
Someone said it like this. Marriage is…
• Rooted in creation
• Reiterated throughout Scripture
• Repeated by Jesus himself
• Representative of the love of Jesus for His church
• Reflective of the gospel
The Bible begins and ends with a wedding. In Genesis 2, God Himself presented the first woman to the first man and presided at the first wedding. In Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Hosea, Israel is pictured as the bride and Yahweh as her husband.
As the second Adam, Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding in John 2. Ephesians 5 refers to marriage as a mystery because it represents the love of Christ for His church. And Revelation 19 points to a future wedding filled with worship: “The marriage of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with linen, bright and pure.”
Family and friends, we have two primary roles today.
1. We are Worshippers. Lucas and Megan don’t want to be the focus of all the festivities. Their aim is for God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to be worshipped in spirit and in truth. The song Lucas just sang captures their desire: “Christ, Be Magnified. Let His praise arise.” In that sense, this is more than just a wedding ceremony; it’s a worship service.
2. We are Witnesses. A witness is someone who sees something happen and is able to give a reliable report about what took place.
Properly understood, we are all worshipping witnesses at this wedding. Just as Jesus was invited to that first century wedding, let’s invite Him to be the central figure in this worship service.
OPENING PRAYER
Our Father, maker, and sustainer of marriage, holy, holy, holy is your name. Jesus Christ, may you be magnified. We acknowledge you as Lord and honor you as the center of this wedding ceremony and worship service. We thank you for the gift of marriage, for the beauty of intimate companionship.
Thank you for this taste of your great unconditional love for us. May the vows being stated today by Lucas and Megan reflect uniquely to the world your glorious gospel, accomplished through your finished work on the cross, and your victory over Satan, sin, and death through your resurrection. Jesus, we pray this in your exalted name, trusting you to do your work in making these two lives one. Amen.
SCRIPTURE READING – Genesis 2:18-25
WORSHIP SONGS
Please stand and join in congregational worship.
“King of Kings”
“All I Have is Christ”
SCRIPTURE READING – Colossians 3:12-17; Ephesians 4:32
Please be seated.
MESSAGE
Note: Leave slide with Ephesians 4:32 up during entire message.
I heard about a couple who eagerly went to the courthouse to get their marriage license. When they arrived, they were met by a sign on the door which said: “Out to lunch. Back at 1 o’clock. Think it over.”
Lucas and Megan, let’s take a few minutes now to think things over…though I know you’ve already done that. Here’s the first rule of marriage: sinners live there. Because of that, you’re going to need God’s guidance and His grace.
The last verse Emily read was Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” This short verse has been called the most meaningful marriage text ever because it establishes how to live with one another in the context of the marriage covenant.
The phrase, “one another” is stated twice in this short verse. This shows the reciprocal nature of your relationship. You’re in this together. You’re on the same team. You’re best friends. You’re partners in ministry. You’re brother and sister in Christ. And, you’re about to become husband and wife.
Here are three words from this verse to think over:
• Give
• Live
• Forgive
In verse 31, we’re told to put away six vices – “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” In verse 32, we’re urged to embrace three virtues.
The first virtue is give – give kindness when the other is selfish.
1. Give kindness when the other is selfish. Listen again to the first phrase: “Be kind to one another…” According to a forty-year study of married couples – both “the masters” and “the disasters” – the difference between a glad marriage and a bad marriage can be boiled down to one word – kindness.
The word “kind” means to be “gracious, good, and gentle.” The tense indicates you’re to “keep on becoming kind.” Kindness is love shown in the little things of life. It refers to cutting each other slack and being nice to each other. 1 Corinthians 13:4 describes love “as patient and kind.” Romans 12:10 captures how to give kindness, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
Remember, the grass is always greener where you water it. Do that something extra kind for each other every day, not because you “have to” but because you get to.
Lucas and Megan, your first word is give – give kindness to one another, even when the other is being selfish.
Your second word is live – live with tenderness when the other is suffering.
2. Live with tenderness when the other is suffering. In the Bible, “tenderhearted” expresses a deep emotional response in your gut. Also translated as “compassionate,” the idea is to be filled with tender mercy when the other is going through terrible misery. According to the Colossians passage that was read, you’re to put on “compassionate hearts.” God not only calls you to kind actions, but to wear compassionate attitudes.
Studies have found the most common problem in “disaster” marriages, is contempt. A compassionate heart leads to kindness, while a heart filled with contempt leads to conflict.
To grow in compassionate kindness, someone has suggested couples ask each other three questions:
• “What can I do to help you?”
• “How can I make your life easier?”
• “How can I be a better husband to you?” or “How can I be a better wife to you?”
Put yourself in your spouse’s slippers so you feel their agony in your own gut. Lucas, when Megan is sad, weep with her. Megan, when Lucas hurts, hurt with him. 1 Peter 3:8 sums up how to treat each other: “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”
Give kindness when the other is selfish.
Live tenderly when the other is suffering.
Your third word is forgive – forgive when the other sins.
3. Forgive when the other sins. After giving kindness and living with tenderness, make sure you’re “forgiving one other” because you’ll discover a lot of things to forgive in the other, and you’ll have a lot of things to ask forgiveness for.
The Bible uses several different words to convey the concept of forgiveness. One word means “to blot out.” Another common Hebrew expression means “to lift and carry away,” speaking of the complete removal of our sins, as if a heavy load had been lifted from our shoulders. Still another means “to release from debt,” indicating the penalty has been paid. And one Greek word means “to show grace to one who has sinned greatly,” speaking of the undeserved nature of forgiveness.
Notice “forgiving” is in the present tense and implies a continuous action. It literally reads, “forgiving one another yourselves.” It’s not just a one-time event but as you’ll discover, forgiving is something you’ll need to embrace again and again.
We all struggle with forgiveness because it doesn’t feel “fair.” When we’re wronged, it’s natural to want to be paid back because we want the other to suffer for what they said or did to us. C.S. Lewis had some great insight when he said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.”
Marriage is hard because it involves the union of two sinners. Ruth Graham used to say a good marriage is made up of two forgivers.
The phrase “one another” means you are a sinner in need of forgiveness for your sins, and you will be sinned against by a sinner and therefore need to forgive the other sinner. Forgiveness means surrendering your right to hurt the other for hurting you. You can focus on each other’s faults and failures, or you can forgive.
When you do sin against one another, instead of simply saying, “I’m sorry” say, “I was wrong. I sinned against you. Please forgive me.” There’s a world of difference between the two. When you wrong one another, ask for forgiveness; don’t just feel bad about what you did by offering an easy, “I’m sorry.”
Apologizing is the world’s substitute for forgiving because there is not a single reference to apologizing in the Bible.
When you’re the one wronged, don’t say, “It’s no big deal” or “Don’t worry about it.” It is a big deal. Release the other from the debt of ever having to pay you back. The biblical response is to say and mean these words, “I forgive you.”
I know I’m spending more time on the importance of forgiving, but it’s because none of us want your marriage to fracture. Here are three other facets of forgiveness.
• Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. The night before our wedding rehearsal, the pastor took us down by a river and read Ephesians 4:26-27: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. And do not give the devil a foothold.” He challenged us to make a vow to not ever go to bed angry. Forgive your mate or stay up late. Needless to say, we’ve had a few late nights! Beth and I met with both of you on Tuesday and you also have made this vow.
• Don’t get “historical” by bringing up past wrongs. I heard about a husband and wife who literally walked around the house with ledger books to record every wrong their spouse did. It wasn’t until they threw these records away that they were able to move toward intimacy. According to 1 Corinthians 13:5, love “keeps no record of wrongs.”
• It’s better to be reconciled than to be right. Or, as one book title puts it, “You can be right, or you can be married!” James 3:18 says, “And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
Gospel
I have some bad news. On your own, you will struggle to give kindness, to live with tenderness, and to forgive each other. But here’s the good news. Because both of you have repented and received Jesus Christ, He has showered you with His kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness.
Put plainly, you can give kindness because He’s given kindness to you. You can live tenderly toward the other because He’s tender toward you. And you can forgive because you’ve been forgiven. Listen to the last phrase of Ephesians 4:32: “…as God in Christ forgave you.”
Your spouse is not your Savior who will satisfy all your needs; your spouse is a sinner who will sin against you. Your model for forgiveness is Christ Himself. Because you have been forgiven, and only because you’ve been forgiven, you’ll be able to forgive each other.
The reason marriage is difficult and yet delightful is because it reflects the Gospel. At its core, the gospel reminds us we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.
Family and friends, Lucas and Megan long for each of you to respond to the kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness that Jesus offers. Repent of your sins and receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and determine to live under His leadership and direction for the rest of your life.
A common marriage myth can be summarized like this: My life + My Spouse = Happiness. Our culture communicates if we find the right person, we’ll be happy, but contentment comes only from Christ and does not depend on anyone else. Here’s a more accurate equation: Jesus + Nothing = Everything.
Lucas, I love that you read Genesis 2 to Megan when you got engaged. This shows your heart for God’s heart. Your marriage is meant for ministry. This week I came across a helpful quote about love: “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
Together, as you live, give, and forgive, God will use both of you for His purposes as you proclaim the gospel!
In summary…
• Give – Give kindness when the other is selfish.
• Live – Live with tenderness when the other is suffering.
• Forgive – Forgive when the other sins.
Ephesians 4:32 is printed on the back of your program and it will also be displayed on a banner at the reception. May it become the motto of your marriage: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Think it Over
Important legal agreements required human witnesses. But covenantal commitments also called on God as the ultimate witness as stated in Judges 11:10: “The LORD will be a witness between us, if we do not do according to your words.”
Malachi 2:14 tells us the Lord of Hosts, the God of the Angel Armies, is the ultimate witness to your vows: “…Because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth…”
God is giving expert eyewitness testimony today and every day from now on, “I will hear what you vow to each other, and I will confirm it. Your marriage will not just be recorded by the Rock Island County Clerk, I will have the eyewitness record in heaven…and I am going to hold you to it.”
Lucas and Megan, do not make or take your vows lightly. Listen to Ecclesiastes 5:4-6: “When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.”
Let’s pause now so you can think it over again. Spend a few moments silently in prayer as you prepare to make these sacred vows before God, in front of these witnesses, and to each other.
As they do that, I invite each of you to pray silently for Lucas and Megan right now.
SILENT PRAYER
If you’re sitting next to your spouse, you might want to hold hands and reaffirm your own vows to each other.
CHALLENGE
To Lucas: Lucas, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy state of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
“I will”
To Megan: Megan, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy state of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
“I will”
EXCHANGE OF VOWS [Face each other]
Lucas to Read:
I, Lucas, take you, Megan, to be my wife.
I commit to love you as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25)
I will lead you by serving you (Mark 10:45)
I will encourage you to treasure Christ above everything else in this world (Philippians 3:1-10)
I will forgive you as Christ has forgiven me (Matthew 6:9-15)
I will care for you with humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12-17)
I will please you by putting your interests above my own (Philippians 2:1-11)
I will honor you with my purity (Hebrews 13:4)
I will join with you in the mission God has entrusted to us (Psalm 67; Matthew 28:18-20)
I will sacrifice my life for your sake (1 John 3:16-18)
I will cherish you as a child of God (Galatians 4:4-8)
And by the grace of God, I will be faithful to this covenant as long as we both shall live (Genesis 2:22-24)
Megan to Read
I Megan, take you, Lucas, to be my husband.
I commit to love you as the church loves Christ (Ephesians 5:23)
I will trust you by submitting to you (Ephesians 5:24)
I will encourage you to treasure Christ above everything else in this world (Philippians 3:1-10)
I will forgive you as Christ has forgiven me (Matthew 6:9-15)
I will care for you with humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12-17)
I will please you by putting your interests above my own (Philippians 2:1-11)
I will honor you with my purity (Hebrews 13:4)
I will join with you in the mission God has entrusted to us (Psalm 67; Matthew 28:18-20)
I will sacrifice my life for your sake (1 John 3:16-18)
I will cherish you as a child of God (Galatians 4:4-8)
And by the grace of God, I will be faithful to this covenant as long as we both shall live (Genesis 2:22-24)
EXCHANGE OF RINGS
The covenant commitment you are making before God, and in front of your family and friends, can best be symbolized by a wedding ring. A ring is costly, signifying the high value God places on vows. Because there’s no beginning and no end, a ring declares visibly to a watching world what a watching God has sealed invisibly.
To Lucas: “Do you have a token of your love?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Do you Lucas, give this ring as a token that you will keep this pledge and perform these vows?”
“I do.”
[Repeat after me] “This ring I give thee in token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”
To Megan: “Do you have a token of your love?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Do you Megan, give this ring as a token that you will keep this pledge and perform these vows?”
“I do.”
[Repeat after me] “This ring I give thee in token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”
UNITY CANDLE
“Speak, O Lord”
PRAYER
Let’s pray…
Speak, O Lord, till Your church is built and the earth is filled with Your glory. Thank you that your light is on display in Lucas and Megan, as they continue to live out your love and the glory of the gospel. You have spoken in your Word, O Lord. Fulfill in them all your purposes for the fame of your holy name.
Bless Lucas as the husband to Megan. Sustain him as he leans on you so he can give, live, and forgive as you do.
Bless Megan as the wife to Lucas. Sustain her as she leans on you so she can give, live, and forgive as you do.
May they never make the mistake of merely living for each other but instead see their marriage as a platform for ministry. May they seek first the kingdom that is yours, and its righteousness, so that all other things may be added unto them. Loving you best, they shall love each other all the more. And faithful unto You, faithful unto each other they will remain.
May they not expect that perfection of each other that belongs alone to You. May they minimize each other’s weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths and see each other through a lover’s kind and patient eyes.
Give them a little something to forgive each day, that they may grow in the grace of long-suffering and love. And may they be as forbearing with each other’s omissions and commissions as You are with theirs.
Make such assignments to them according to Your will as will bless them and develop their character as they walk together. Give them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them humble, enough of failure to keep their hands clenched tightly in Yours, and enough fruit to propel them in faithfulness.
May they never take each other’s love for granted so that when life is done, and the sun is setting, may they be found, then as now, still hand in hand, thanking you for each other. May they serve You joyfully, faithfully, together, until at last, one shall lay the other in Your arms.
Make your face shine on them and be gracious to them. Lord, lift up your countenance on them and give them peace. Now to Him who is able to keep Lucas and Megan from stumbling and to present them blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. This we ask through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
PRONOUNCEMENT
With Christ as your cornerstone and by the authority committed unto me as a minister of the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you husband and wife. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. What God has joined together let no one tear apart!
KISSING OF BRIDE
Lucas, would you like to kiss your bride?
CLOSING COMMENTS
PRESENTATION
Fellow worshippers and witnesses, it’s my joy to present to you, Lucas and Megan!
RECESSIONAL
