Turn with me to Genesis 48:8-16. We will begin our message this morning by standing in honor of the reading of God’s Word:
8 Then Israel saw Joseph’s sons, and said, “Who are these?” 9 Joseph said to his father, “They are my sons, whom God has given me in this place.” And he said, “Please bring them to me, and I will bless them.” 10 Now the eyes of Israel were dim with age, so that he could not see. Then Joseph brought them near him, and he kissed them and embraced them. 11 And Israel said to Joseph, “I had not thought to see your face; but in fact, God has also shown me your offspring!” 12 So Joseph brought them from beside his knees, and he bowed down with his face to the earth. 13 And Joseph took them both, Ephraim with his right hand toward Israel’s left hand, and Manasseh with his left hand toward Israel’s right hand, and brought them near him. 14 Then Israel stretched out his right hand and laid it on Ephraim’s head, who was the younger, and his left hand on Manasseh’s head, guiding his hands knowingly, for Manasseh was the firstborn. 15 And he blessed Joseph, and said: “God, before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked, the God who has fed me all my life long to this day, 16 the Angel who has redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads; Let my name be named upon them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.”
A Blessing Is Desirable to Every Individual
What we see in this passage is a paternal blessing being bestowed on Joseph’s two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, by their grandfather Jacob who is known here as Israel. The word paternal means “fatherly,” deriving from the Greek word pater for “father.” So a fatherly blessing - or grandfatherly blessing - is being said over Ephraim and Manasseh in this example.
According to the Jewish Encyclopedia, “The paternal blessing was the most valuable heritage that parents could [bestow on their] children . . . the parents’ good-will and blessing were regarded as the greatest happiness that [a child could receive].”(1) “In Greek and Latin, [the word] ‘blessing’ is eulogia and benedicto, which both suggest ‘speaking good words’ . . . In Hebrew [the word] ‘blessing’ is bereka, suggesting the conference of an abundance of life on someone. From its earliest appearances in the Old Testament, blessing is revealed as paternal [or fatherly] word and gift of life.”(2)
The blessing is a gift of life for those to whom it is conferred. Why is that? Well, a blessing “includes the best wishes for a person’s life and future, [and] it carries with it the acknowledgment of a person’s worth – a sense of great value is placed upon [an individual by the blessing].”(3) C. A. Bjornsen, in an article in the Journal of Youth Ministry, noted that, “The blessing, which simply stated is the father’s acknowledgement and acceptance of the son’s adult status and, more importantly, his adult masculinity . . . allows the son to leave childhood and adolescent attachments to the [parents] behind and progress into adult emotional status . . . the event necessary for this transition is the father’s blessing, a message that ‘you are a man, my son’.”(4)
For a moment let’s look at the nature of the blessing in our passage of Scripture. In verse 10, we see that as he brought his two sons to their grandfather to receive his blessing, Joseph conveyed the message of blessing himself when he kissed and hugged his sons. The element of touch is important in the relationship between a father and child, for it conveys the message of acceptance and love for the child as a person and as an individual. We also see the element of touch being demonstrated in verse 14 when Israel, or Jacob, placed his hand on each of the boys’ head. A father can demonstrate the vital element of touch through a hug, through wrestling with his son, or through a simple pat on the head. Father’s, every time you fail to touch your child or spend time with him or her you are communicating a message that says, “You are not worth anything to me.”
In verse 16 Jacob said in his blessing, “Let my name be upon them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.” What we see here is an immense bestowal of trust and confidence being placed on the two children, for Jacob was willing to leave his name or reputation with them. When we say to our child, “I trust you,” we are enabling him or her with the confidence necessary to succeed in life. We are saying to our child that we feel confident that they are competent to succeed. We also see in this verse that Jacob prayed for Ephraim and Manasseh to “grow into a great multitude in the midst of the earth.” This was once again the communication of confidence in the two sons that they would be successful in life.
Bill Glass, the former Cleveland Browns football player turned evangelist, tells us, “There is a bubble of emptiness that appears in the soul of every boy or girl before the age of six or seven if they don’t hear the [paternal blessing].”(5) For example, in the Bible we see that Jacob tricked his father Isaac into bestowing his blessing upon him instead of his brother Esau, and we read in Genesis 27:34 of Esau that, “He cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said, ‘Bless me – me also, O my father!’” Our lives become full of anguish and bitterness without our parents’ blessing. The blessing from our parents is something that we all desire and desperately need, for without it we are destined to a life of rebellion and problems.
A Lack of Blessing Leads to Spiritual Problems
The lack of a paternal blessing can result in many spiritual problems for our children. All of us long to be accepted by others. We may say aloud, “I don’t care what other people think about me;” however, deep inside, we all yearn for affection and acceptance. This is particularly true in relationship with our parents. Gaining or missing parental [or paternal] blessing has a profound affect upon our lives, and in our having a positive relationship with others. In fact, our relationship to our parents can and does affect our present and future relationships. Brian is a great illustration of this:
Please tell me you love me – Brian’s words trailed off into tears as he leaned over the still form of his dead father. His tears revealed a deep inner pain that had tormented him for years. Brian flew halfway across the country to try to reconcile years of resentment. All of his life, Brian had been searching for his father’s acceptance, and it always seemed out of his reach.
Brian’s father had been a Marine officer, and he wanted Brain to follow in his footsteps. To prepare Brian for Marine life, he was hard and rarely ever spoke a word of tenderness to his son. Brian wanted his father’s blessing so he went into the Marine Corps; however, he had attitude problems and was put on report. After a vicious fight with his drill instructor, he was dishonorably discharged from the service.
When his father heard of this, he refused to allow him in his home and for years never spoke to him. During those years, Brian worked at various jobs far below his ability. He had feelings of inferiority and lacked self-confidence. Three times he was engaged to be married, and he broke off the engagement just weeks before his wedding. Though he didn’t know it, he was experiencing the common symptoms of growing up without a sense of the family blessing.
Brian was notified that his father had a heart attack. He rushed to be at his father’s side, but he had slipped into a coma just before Brian arrived. “Dad, please wake up,” he cried.” That statement reveals his incredible sense of loss. It was the emotional sense of losing any chance of gaining his father’s blessing.
The results of never having the family blessing (or fatherly blessing) can be devastating. Some are driven to be workaholics as they search for the blessing they never received at home. Some are always striving for acceptance, they never feel satisfied that they measure up; promotion and praise for their hard work becomes the substitute blessing. Others become apathetic and withdrawn, and this can result in severe depression and even suicide. Almost all children who miss their family blessing start off on a lifelong search for acceptance and praise.(6)
The evangelist Bill Glass visits hundreds of prisons each year, and he has found one characteristic to be true of every prisoner with whom he has spoken. Glass says, “I would say there are many extenuating circumstances that cause criminology, but there is one thing that is always true, they always have a father problem. The father’s blessing has altogether to do with how a person turns out in life . . . There wasn’t one man on death row that loved his father.”(7) “Parents,” he said, “can do all the right things, but failing to bless their children will mean that the children either won’t ‘make it,’ will live to hate their parents, or grow up ‘weird and twisted on the inside’.”(8)
A Bestowal of Blessing Promotes Spiritual Health
Research has shown that the bestowal of the paternal blessing promotes spiritual health. Bill Glass says that he recently researched prison statistics in order to find out the number of Jewish prisoners vs. those with other religious affiliations. He found 1,200 Jewish prisoners while every other denomination was “well represented” in prison. As a result, he says, “It is because – in my opinion – that from the beginning of time the Jewish fathers have always blessed their sons and daughters.”(9) Glass tells us, “Blessing settles identity and destiny, [and] it frees the person to flourish and do well,” and that blessing brings closure to childhood and release into adulthood.(10)
The primary way that those of the Jewish faith bless their children is through a bar mitzvah celebration, in which the parent’s share a blessing. “When parents recite [the blessing] they are publicly declaring their children to be both ritually and legally responsible adults in the Jewish tradition . . . It is a form of ‘letting go,’ in which children are becoming their own persons and must make their own moral judgments.”(11) The bar mitzvah bestows confidence and trust in one’s children that they are capable of succeeding in life.
“Many Jewish homes are familiar with imparting blessings upon their children [regularly. For example] at the weekly Sabbath meal the father will offer blessings to his children.(12) One Messianic Jew, Scott Diffenderfer, tells us why he believes in the power of the blessing on his children. He says, “I firmly believe that my children will be very well served through the blessings I speak over them each week. For in those blessings they can hear my heart’s desire for their future. They hear positive words spoken over them as I verbalize my faith in [God’s] control over their lives. The trials are sure to come in their lives but as I bless my children with [God’s] protection and wisdom, I am imparting strength to them that will surely overcome the battles of life.”(13)
How to Bestow a Blessing on Your Children
If it is beneficial for fathers, and even mothers, to bestow a blessing on their children; then how does a parent bless a child? Bill Glass tells us that we need to communicate three things to our children: “I love you, I bless you, and I think you’re fantastic; love, value, and belonging.”
“I love you” can be demonstrated through both word and touch. “I bless you” can be shown through entrusting your child with important tasks and showing that you believe he or she is competent and trustworthy. And “I think you’re fantastic” can be demonstrated through words of praise, and by spending time with your child. Glass sums it all up by noting that there are three characteristics that should be a part of the blessing: “Say it out loud; say it unconditionally; and say it with touch.”(14)
If your child is present in the congregation this morning, then turn and look at him or her right now. If you don’t have a child present, then turn and look at your neighbor. Now, I’ll ask that you repeat after me, while continuing to look at your child or neighbor: “I love you” . . . “I bless you” . . . “I think you’re fantastic.”
Time of Reflection
There are likely many individuals here this morning who are having a difficult time coping with the numerous trials and challenges of life. You don’t have any confidence that you will succeed, and therefore you quit and run from many jobs and tasks before you even begin. You are always searching for acceptance and never finding it. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, it seems as though no one notices you, nor has confidence in your abilities. So you feel helpless to succeed. If you ever feel this way, then you are likely suffering from a lack of your father or mother’s blessing.
Father’s I want to encourage you to bless your children daily. Don’t hesitate to communicate your love and blessing. And children, if your fathers (or even your mothers) have failed to bless you, then tell them how you feel and ask for their blessing. And most importantly, decide to forgive them whether they choose to bless you or not. You see, what’s most important is that we have a heavenly Father is very pleased with us, who loves us, and who has confidence in our abilities. And if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you already have God’s blessing. For those of you who are wounded at heart, I want to invite you to experience the acceptance and unconditional love of our heavenly Father through Jesus Christ.
NOTES
(1) Kaufmann Kohler and David Philipson, “Blessing of Children,” Jewish Encyclopedia, taken from the Internet May 2003 at http://www.jewishencyclopedia. com/view_friendly.jsp?artid=1133&letter=B.
(2) John and Thomas Feeney, “From Death to Life,” Center for Ethics and Culture, University of Notre Dame, p. 3.
(3) Donald J. Ralston, “The Blessing,” taken from the Internet May 2003 at http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Crete/4343/Bless/blessin1.html.
(4) C. A. Bjornsen, “The Blessing As A Rite of Passage in Adolescence,” Journal of Youth Ministry, Fall 2002. Taken from the Internet May 2003 at http://www.youth specialties.com/academic/jym/issues/2002fall/printables/bjornsen.html
(5) Bill Glass, “‘Bless Your Children,’ Glass Says,” The Scroll, Fall 2002, p. 3. Taken from the Internet May 2003 at http://www.swbts.edu/happenings/scroll/pdf/ 02/october/10-15-02.pdf.
(6) Ralston.
(7) Glass, p. 1.
(8) Ibid., p. 3.
(9) Ibid., pp. 1, 3.
(10) Tammi Reed Ledbetter and Melissa Deming, “Speakers Provide Biblical Basis for Evangelism,” taken from the Internet May 2003 at http://www.sbtexas.com/sec.html.
(11) Daniel Kohn, “The Parent’s Role in a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service,” taken from the Internet May 2003 at http://www.myjewishlearning.com/lifecycle/Bar_Bat_Mitzvah/ InPractice/ParentsRole_Prn.htm.
(12) Scott Diffenderfer, “The Father’s Hand,” Messianic Home, taken from the Internet May 2003 at http://www.messianichome.org/Articles/1998/spring/ thefathershand.htm.
(13) Diffenderfer.
(14) Glass, p. 3.
