Introduction: it’s a fact that our Lord Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary. It’s also true that Mary had a mother, and she had a mother, all the way back to Eve, the first mother. Of note, Eve was not only the first female ever created, and she was not only the first mother, she was also the first sinner in the Bible! Even so, she received the first ever prophecy of the coming Messiah.
Other women in the lineage of Messiah Jesus were the wives of Seth, Enoch, Noah, and others; then from Sarah, Rebekah, and Leah, wife of Jacob whose son Judah was the leader of the tribe bearing his name.
But how did Tamar, Judah's daughter-in-law become the ancestor of the Messiah?
1 She was part of Judah’s family in Canaan
Text, Genesis 38:1-6, KJV: 1 And it came to pass at that time, that Judah went down from his brethren, and turned in to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. 2 And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite, whose name was Shuah; and he took her, and went in unto her. 3 And she conceived, and bare a son; and he called his name Er. 4 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and she called his name Onan. 5 And she yet again conceived, and bare a son; and called his name Shelah: and he was at Chezib, when she bare him. 6 And
Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar.
Judah was the fourth son of Jacob and Leah, the daughter of Laban (Genesis 29 has the story of how Jacob obtained his wives). His only recorded words up to this point were the suggestion to sell Joseph, his brother, to Midianite traders for 20 pieces of silver—averaging 2 pieces for each brother. Somebody got a bargain but it didn’t seem to be Jacob’s sons.
After this, and only he knows why, he left his family for several years and lived in Canaan. The rest of the family remained in Hebron (Gen. 35:27) where, interestingly, Isaac was still living, over 20 years after Jacob had left. One can only imagine the time of reunion when father and son were together after so many years apart.
But Judah left and settled in Canaan. He found at least one friend, Hirah the Adullamite (68:1) and he also found a wife, the daughter of Shuah (her name is never given). She gave birth to three sons, but died several years later. It is worth remembering that Abraham and Isaac had both made it very clear they didn’t want their sons marrying Canaanite girls. Maybe Judah should have paid attention to that command!
At any rate, Judah and his family seemed to be making the best of things while they were all away from Jacob and the others. Nothing is said about how Judah made a living while he was there until some life-changing events happened: for him, and for his family.
And one of those events was a marriage! Judah and his wife were about to become in-laws, because Er, Judah’s oldest son, was going to marry a girl named Tamar. The text implies this was an arranged marriage, with Er having little if any say in the manner.
So, the marriage took place, and, maybe, all the parties involved hoped for a “happily ever after” for this new couple. Tamar seemed to accept this new husband and new life.
But that wasn’t true for Er.
2 She was widowed twice in a very short time
Text, Genesis 38:7-11, KJV: 7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. 8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. 9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. 11 Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.
Several things are passed over in this section, such as how long Er and Tamar were married and just what Er did, or was, to be considered wicked in the sight of the LORD. In one sense, every person is wicked in God’s eyes because we’re all born sinners (John 3:18, 3:36; Romans 5:12). Er, however, must have either done or said something particular to receive that description and paid for whatever it was with his life. Any hopes or dreams Tamar might have had with Er died when he died.
But there was a custom, if not legal requirement at the time, that if a man died and had no children, his brother was expected, if not required, to marry his sister-in-law (his brother’s widow) and keep his brother’s line alive. Later this was made part of the Law of Moses (see Deuteronomy 25:5-10) and was still referenced in the days of Jesus Himself (Matthew 22:23-33). As Onan was the next oldest surviving son, he was supposed to fulfill this duty and keep his brother’s line alive.
And he wanted nothing to do with this responsibility. So, after the wedding—surely, he wouldn’t have had relations with her outside of marriage, would he?—he promptly failed to fulfill this duty. This was something that clearly displeased the LORD and the LORD slew Onan.
Now Tamar was widowed, twice, and even though Judah had one more son, he was too young to be married. Judah, for whatever reason, told her to go back to her father’s house until Shelah, the youngest son (and next in line to marry Tamar) would be old enough for marriage. Judah was understandably worried that Shelah would die early, even as his brothers.
Was Judah getting a taste of what Jacob had gone through, hearing (falsely) that Joseph had been killed by a wild animal? It has been said that there is no pain like that of losing a child.
Tamar then did go back to her father’s house.
But the story doesn’t end here. Not by a long shot.
3 She eventually became the mother to Judah’s twin sons
Text, Genesis 38:12-19, KJV: 12 And in process of time the daughter of Shuah Judah's wife died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheepshearers to Timnath, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 13 And it was told Tamar, saying, Behold thy father in law goeth up to Timnath to shear his sheep. 14 And she put her widow's garments off from her, and covered her with a vail, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife. 15 When Judah saw her, he thought her to be an harlot; because she had covered her face. 16 And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.) And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me? 17 And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock. And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it? 18 And he said, What pledge shall I give thee? And she said, Thy signet, and thy bracelets, and thy staff that is in thine hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him. 19 And she arose, and went away, and laid by her vail from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood.
As if Judah hadn’t experienced the pain of losing his two oldest sons, he also saw his wife die. The cause of death is never revealed, nor is the location where Judah buried her body. After he was comforted, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went up to Timnath to shear his sheep. Maybe he thought work would be good therapy? Or, it may have been simply the time for shearing the sheep. Of note, Timnath would be a place occupied by the Philistines many years later, and where Samson would find his first and only true wife (Judges 14).
Word also reached Tamar about this journey—had anyone from Judah’s household been in contact with her after Er and Onan had died? Now she engaged in some very questionable behavior after living as a widow for an unspecified period of time. The only thing known for certain is that Shelah, Judah’s youngest son, was not old enough for marriage when his brothers died but he was old enough for it by now.
And, by the way, he hadn’t married Tamar yet.
Now, Tamar decided to change her appearance. She had been wearing widow’s garments since Er and Onan had died (apparently widows wore certain types of clothing until they either died or remarried) but now she dressed like a harlot. She covered her face with a vail—oddly, Rebekah covered her face with a vail when she met Isaac (Genesis 24:64-65). Then, she wrapped herself and sat in an open place. These seem to be indications that she was a harlot, but according to some of the commentators, this was also the “signal” that she was a harlot dedicated to one of the pagan deities. Why Judah looked and liked what he saw, knowing what she appeared to be, and then went on with the rest of this episode, is another unknown story.
Tamar seemed to play the harlot’s role to perfection. When Judah asked for some time with her (reader discretion advised)—not even knowing who she was!—she asked for payment in advance. Judah promised (!) to give her a “kid from the flock (but where was the flock? Timnath, or somewhere else?)” This wasn’t enough for Tamar (in disguise) so she asked for a “pledge” or a down payment. And she asked for some very important stuff: she asked for a signet (probably a ring), his bracelets (whatever those were), and probably one of the most important, his staff. The staff had many uses in those days: defensively, it could be used as a weapon; practically, it could be used to reach out and help another person as well as something to lean on when walking. But when she asked for the staff specifically, did she know there was something on it to prove it belonged to Judah? Compare this pledge with some of the “wages” or gifts (was there a difference?) earned by harlots like Gomer, who left he husband Hosea the prophet for a life of harlotry (Hosea 2:5).
This part of the story ends here, with Judah giving her the “pledges” and then having relations with Tamar, even though there is no indication he knew who she was at the time. She became pregnant and went back to her father’s house. Probably before then she changed back into her widow’s clothing. There doesn’t seem to be any contact between Judah and Tamar (or Shelah) until the next chapter of this story, when Judah likely received the surprise of his life!
Verses 20-23 describe how Judah and his friend wanted to make good on the payment (of a kid of the flock) and redeem (get back) his pledge, but nobody knew anything about a harlot anywhere near the place. Eventually, Judah discovered Tamar was pregnant, which was a very serious offense in those days. He invoked and demanded the death penalty, but when Tamar was “brought forth (verse 25)”, she said, “I’m pregnant by the man who gave me these items.” Judah finally realized what had happened and acknowledged all that had happened. He also admitted he was wrong by not giving his son Shelah to Tamar when he was old enough.
The story concludes with Tamar giving birth to twins. One reached his hand out and the midwife said, “He’s first” but the child pulled his hand back in. Then his brother made his entry, followed by the other boy. Zerah was the one with the cord, signifying the first born, and the other was named Pharez, This youngest son, Pharez, was in the line of Judah and although he didn’t know it, his descendants would include kings of the nation and even the Messiah Himself!
Conclusion: Tamar was a Canaanite girl who was married (briefly) to Judah’s two oldest sons. Both of her husbands died shortly after the marriages and she was left a widow for a period of time. She took matters into her own hands and tricked Judah, her own father-in-law, into having sexual relations with her. Judah found out she was pregnant out of wedlock (bad) but relented when he admitted he was the father. When the twin boys were born, the youngest had the distinction of being the chosen one to bring Messiah Jesus into this world. So Tamar, whether or not she ever became a believer in the God of Judah, was one of the Mothers of the Messiah!
There is no need to do what Tamar did. Simply trust the Lord and do right in His eyes!
Scripture quotations were taken from the King James Version of the Bible (KJV).
