Honoring Mothers
Scripture: Deuteronomy 5:16; Ephesians 5:25; 6:2-3
Good Morning New Light and happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers here in the Church and for those of you watching the live broadcast. This is your day and this message is in celebration of the wisdom that God has given you to share with the world. None of us would be here today had it not been for a mother bringing us into this world, so I am blessed on this day to know some special mothers who have touched my life. This morning we are going to examine two Scriptures that speak the same warning to children about honoring their parents. I say they are a warning because as you read them you will see that they both contain a promise.
The first Scripture is found in Deuteronomy 5:16. It reads, “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16) The second Scripture draws from Deuteronomy but with a slight change. It is found in Ephesians chapter six, verse two. It reads, “Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2) If you’re like me, the one thing that stands out is that we must respect and/or honor our mothers. Children, hear me closely on this, this command is not time bound and age bound. As long as your parents are alive on this earth the Bible says you are to show them respect and honor. Even when they make mistakes; when they are wrong; and when you do not like them – because all of these things are going to happen. Children bump heads with their parents. And when this happens, the Bible says you are to show your parents respect – even in disagreements.
My siblings and I learned at an early age to respect our mother. My mother was a woman of action who NEVER said, “Wait till your father gets home….” Oh no, my mother was a woman of action. She was old school when being “old school” was the only school available! When a situation needed addressing, my mother addressed it immediately with swift, targeted action – yes, the corporal punishment of a swift hand targeting our backsides. In the days of “old school” time out was the time between when you got in trouble and before you received the punishment – it gave you “time” to think about what you’d done and the price you were about to pay. I had a great deal of respect for my mother and as I grew into my later teens and early twenties, I learned to honor her. My mother died when I was twenty-five years old and the honor and appreciation that I have for her has grown continuously during the last 35 years. You see, as I live my life, I still hear my mother’s words about how to address certain situations. And what is interesting is that my kids and some of you have heard my mother’s words when I have given you advice through the years.
Some of you know that I love to read Calvin and Hobbes cartoons. Calvin is a typical kid whose life exists around his stuffed tiger Hobbes who, to him, is alive. Calvin, like some people, is extremely self-centered and focused only on his desires and what makes him happy. So one Mother’s Day morning he gave his mother a handwritten card. As he gave his mother the card he stood there smiling being very pleased with himself and his accomplishment. His mother was so proud to receive the special message from her son until she read what it said. The card said, “I was going to buy a card with hearts of pink and red, but then I thought I’d rather, spend the money on me instead. It’s awfully hard to buy things, when one’s allowance is so small, so I guess you’re plenty lucky I got you anything at all. Happy Mother’s Day – there, I’ve said it, now I am done, so how about getting out of bed and fixing breakfast for your son.” Calvin had the right idea in his attempt to show some appreciation for his mother but it was lost when his true selfish nature came through. Calvin, like so many children in the world today, is so self-absorbed that he could not truly appreciate his mother.
By an act of Congress, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. This was a day set aside for a public expression of love, appreciation, and honoring of mothers in the United States. All of us are the products of our mothers and if we had mothers who took the time to teach us life’s lessons, then those mothers will forever live within us as we live through the lessons they taught us. I truly believe that mothers were given some of the Wisdom of Solomon. I mean, how else can we explain some of the teachings that have been handed down through the generations by these mothers. I know I have told you before, but let me share some of the wisdom mothers have sown in this world that has helped shaped the culture we live in currently. And just to prove the point that this wisdom is broad spread, when you hear something that your mother also told you just nod your head or say amen and I promise you, some of the things my mother told me are some of the same things your mother told you.
Here are some things my mother taught me:
• My mother taught me how to think rationally by asking: “If everyone else jumps off the cliff are you going to jump too?” This lesson taught me not to be a part of cliques or go along with the crowd. It also taught me that sometimes learning from my own stupidity was the only way I could learn the lesson.
• She taught me survival skills: “If you’re hungry, you know where the kitchen is – go fix yourself something to eat.” I can exist on my own because I know how to cook.
• She also taught me the value of savings. When I was going out in public she would look at me, shake her head and say, “Boy wants to dress like he has a million dollars and don’t have a pot to pee in.” I did not understand this at the time, but what she later shared with me was never pretend to have something you didn’t because it would lead to a lifetime of debt. It also taught me to make sure that once I had the pot to have it secured with money on hand to cover the “what ifs”!
• She taught me to listen and understand the rhetorical. When she was correcting me she would ask: “What were you thinking…” and when I tried to answer she would say “Don’t talk back to me, or don’t talk when I am talking.” It was confusing, but I learned she didn’t really want to know what I was thinking in some situations.
• She taught me that wisdom comes with age. When I gave her those doubtful looks she would say, “Keep on living, you’ll see and you’ll understand.” Some have taken that same thought and told their children that every apple ripens at its own pace.
• She taught me how to believe what she told me to do the first time she told me to do it. When she would tell me not to do something and I would attempt it anyways her response would be “Boy I guess you don’t believe fat meat’s greasy.” Of course fat meat is greasy and everyone knows it except for me at that moment.
• She had the premarital sex talk with me. It wasn’t so much a lesson or detailed talk versus more of a statement of fact. She said, “I have raised my kids – I won’t raise yours – so keep it in your pants.”
Here are some teachings from other mothers that you may have heard:
• Medicine. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they will freeze that way.”
• To Think Ahead. “You don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”
• Humor. “When the lawn mower cuts your toes off, don’t come running to me” How can a prson run with no toes?
• Justice. “One day you will have kids and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you will see what it is like – I can’t wait!”
• Recipes. “A hard head makes a soft behind.”
• Our true roots. “I’m not your friend’s mother, I am your mother.”
• Value of words. “If you cannot say anything nice to someone, don’t say anything at all.”
• When we cried because we didn’t get our way. “Stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!”
These are just a few teachings that mothers around the world have shared with their children. I say mothers because most of these statements have been heard from mothers, not fathers. Mothers are extremely unique and the love that they have for the children can exceed that of the love that fathers can have for their kids. I am not saying this is the case in every example, but mothers are very special. Since the death of my mother it drives me crazy when I see a child or young person disrespecting their mother and their mother allowing it! It makes me want to shake both of them and ask the child do they realize how special that woman is in their lives. I have often wondered what they would do if their mother was no longer with them. Would they finally realize the blessing that they have or would they continue to be as they are?
We all know that mothers are different from fathers because women are different from men. Men are told they must be the strong one, but I am not sure if we’re as strong as women are, especially when it comes to nurturing our children when they need it versus when we have the time to do it. Some men believe that child raising belongs to the mother, but are quick to step in and take credit when the child grows up to accomplish something. This should not be. Unlike some fathers, most mothers can multi-task without much effort while some of us men complain about doing one task. You don’t believe me? Ask a man to change a diaper. Mothers can cook, clean, wash, help with homework, and talk on the phone all at once. (And will agree to almost anything the child asks because she’s distracted!) Last Saturday Nikki called me from Tennessee while I was cooking my breakfast. I told her I needed to call her back because I was cooking my breakfast. Her response, “I talk on the phone all the time when I am cooking.” Hmmmm, I guess that sort of proves this point doesn’t it? We also know that a good mother is the cement that holds the family together. A good mother, by default, becomes the “foster” mother for her kid’s friends as I have watched Nikki be referenced by the girl’s friends as a second mom and I had several “second mothers” when I was a child.
A mother is a wonderful woman that God gives special intuition to as it relates to children. They just seem to know stuff that father’s don’t see. I shared this insight with my older brother and he responded, “If they know it, why do we need to know it? Isn’t that duplicating?” which is a very valid point! They share a special bond with their children that even the father does not have. Our society used to appreciate and value mothers. Televisions shows of the past like The Cosbys, Leave it to Beaver, Ozzie & Harriet and the show “Julia” that some of you may not have ever heard of. Julia was a TV sitcom about an African-American woman in a non-stereotypical role. The role was played by Diahann Carroll who was a nurse and a single mother raising her son. These shows demonstrated the love, grace and intelligence of mothers. However, today, some shows do the opposite. Shows like The Simpsons and The Osbournes portrays mothers as having no impact or are outright stupid, which is a shame. These shows fuel the idea that mothers can be disrespected and treated poorly. But that my friend is so far away from what God thinks.
Deuteronomy 5:16 says, “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16) God told the children to honor their parents so that their days will be prolonged on the earth and that it would go well with them in the land God was giving them. In other words, there was a blessing tied to how the children treated their parents. Then we get to the New Testament where Paul writes to the Ephesians, “Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2) In this verse Paul explains that this was one of the first commandments with a promise – longer life based on how they treated their parents.
I want you to see this clearly. The word “honor” is from the Greek word “timao.” This word carries the idea of “something so valuable that it is held as precious, prized, cherished, treasured, valuable, and very dear.” The message is clear, children should highly value their parents; hold them in honor; treat them graciously; esteem them; respect them; and treat them like a prized treasure that is very precious to them. Can you just imagine the relationship between mothers and their children when their child values them to this degree? When Paul wrote this he was reminding the children of the original commandment that God had given to Moses for the Children of Israel. This commandment carried a promise that is still in effect today. All of us who have parents still alive need to remember this verse and the promise that it carries with it. As I said previously, this promise is not age related. During biblical times, as is now in that region, parents held some authority in their children’s lives as long as they were alive. That is not how we live here in the United States. Here we teach that once you turn twenty-one years of age you are an adult and can do as you please. Well some adult-children wish to do this while still living under their parents’ roof and that my friend does not work with “old school” parents.
So the question is just how do we honor our mothers? It’s not just on special days like today or their birthdays or Christmas. If I were to give you any advice on honoring mothers I would tell you that we honor them by how we treat them and how we live our lives. In my mind honor ranks higher than obedience because if you truly honor your mother obedience will follow. Obedience will not have to be demanded, it will be given freely because of how precious your mother is to you. Remember the story of Calvin and the card he gave his mother? That was not a demonstration of honor – that was a demonstration of selfishness. What Paul is talking about in this verse – what God commands – is that our mothers are so precious to us that we value them above our own selfish desires because throughout our lives they selfishly gave of themselves for us.
Children, young and old, if you want to start honoring your mother today here are some simple things you can do:
• Do what you are told without complaining. A good mother cares for you and will not put you in harm’s way. Do what you are told.
• Be Thankful. Whatever she does for you, cooking, running you on errands, buying your clothes, etc. Be thankful. Even if it is not exactly what you wanted – be thankful.
• Be Responsible and Accountable. Do your chores the way they should be done – right. When you make a mistake, own up to it.
• Do something nice for them weekly. It does not have to be expensive, but do something nice for your mother on a weekly basis. Help her around the house; help her cook – the little things. Spend time talking with her.
• Hug her without a reason. You will be amazed at what a hug can do for your mother after she’s had a long day and the tenderness you will share with her.
• Tell her every day that you love her and mean it. The three most important words a mother can hear from her child are “I love you”. They can heal hurts, calm fears and bring peace to any situation.
It is the small things that we can do to honor our mothers. But they add up to big things. John Stiles wrote, “I have worshipped in churches and chapels. I have prayed in busy streets. I have sought my God and found Him, in the waves of His ocean beat. I have knelt in the silent forest, in the shade of some ancient tree. But the dearest of all my altars, was at my mother’s knee. God make me the man of her vision and purge me of selfishness. God keep me true to her standards and help me to live to bless. God hallow the holy impress of the days that used to be, and keep me a pilgrim forever to the shrine at my mother’s knee.”
I have spoken to all children, both young and old, but I want to speak specifically to the fathers now before I close. Ephesians 5:25; 28 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” Men/husbands, God commands that we love our wives as we love ourselves. There is no way that a child will grow up to honor their mother if they witness the man who is supposed to love her as himself treating her like a dog. Likewise, that child cannot honor a father who treats their mother poorly. Men, if we want our children to honor their mothers, we must honor them first – it starts with us! Make sure you are doing your parts, and mothers, stop accepting anything less than that!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers! May God forever bless and keep you.
Until next time, “The Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)
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