Circle Check
Pt. 7 - Circle Component 6
I. Introduction
Circles are everywhere. Entertainment. Games. TV Shows, Sports. And in Science.
In his book, The Book of Circles, Manuel Lima takes the reader on a tour of use of circles in architecture, urban planning, fine art, design, fashion, technology, religion, cartography, biology, astronomy, and physics, all based on the circle, the universal symbol of unity, wholeness, infinity, enlightenment, and perfection.
We are surrounded by circles. Circles is also another way of saying relationships.
We instinctively seem to know that our circle determines our course. Our friends determine our future. We agree that those close matter most.
We have declared that we must know how a circle is supposed to function. If we don't, then we either never fully tap into or harness the benefit of a circle or we exit or sabotage the circle available to us because we are unwilling to pay the price of transparency, vulnerability and submit to accountability that is necessary for the circle to be meaningful. The result is we either suffer in isolation while we call it independence, or we hop in and out of circles, groups, or churches looking for fruit that we so desperately desire and even envy. However, we never recognize that this fruit can only be obtained and secured through intentional and long-term investment of time. So, in time of need, distress, pain we blame everyone who doesn't respond for being shallow or uncaring or we silently wonder why our relationships lack the roots necessary to sustain us.
If we know function, we then have appropriate expectations and demands. There are some things we should expect from our circle and if the circle doesn't provide these things, then we must either demand and develop it in the circle or we need to do a circle check to determine if it may be time for a circle change. As we work through this, I want to encourage you to do a circle check. I caution you again . . . the tendency is to ask this appropriate question . . . Is my circle doing this for me? However, if we are not careful, then we will fail to ask the equally crucial question . . . Am I doing this for my circle?
So, I informed you that right in plain sight in Scripture there are 59 different "one another" statements giving us circle coaching. Then at closer examination, I discovered that all of these statements can be clustered into 6 components wrapped around one core component.
We have stated that the core component around which the other 6 components orbit is . . . love.
17 different and distinct occasions out of the 59 statements is the instruction to love another. 28% of the list is a command to love one another.
We dealt with one of the most difficult of the orbiting components which was Confess/Forgive.
In a safe circle, we are able to confess and forgive. If we don't confess, then we cannot be healed or whole. We must find confidential and careful circles where the circle mates are aware of their own need for forgiveness so that we can confess, be met with grace and together dislodge the sin and struggles of our life. If our church can be made up of circles like this, then our church will always be a bastion of grace for those who are wounded and broken.
The second orbiting component that must be a part of our circle was serve. Serving one another keeps us circled. Serving is about seeing needs and filling them knowing that as we do this others are seeing our needs and meeting those.
The third orbiting component was that we must pray for one another. Praying for one another is only mentioned 1 time directly compared to the 8 times we are told to serve. Our prayers can't be a cop out for serving. Prayer should accompany our service, not substitute for it! We must learn to invite God to do what only He can do while we do what we can do! As we pray, we correctly carry one another's burdens.
The fourth component was encourage. We have been instructed to encourage one another daily so that we will have hope and live holy!
The fifth component was to teach one another. We remain immature due to lack of teaching. The most effective and the commanded kind of teaching here is not a classroom complete with a podium, curriculum and a professor. This type of teaching is the daily insertion of tried and true knowledge. This type of teaching is done regardless of age or sex. It is done based on wisdom we have gained from the practiced Word of God. We all teach someone something. We need the older generation to teach the younger generation. We need the younger generation to share wisdom with the older folks. We need husband and wife to teach. Circle mates must teach. All of this teaching is not based on our truth, but on The Truth!
So, let's complete our tour of circles. There is one final orbiting component that we are told to provide in our circles.
The sixth component, that orbits around love, is accept one another.
The foundational passage here is . . .
Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
The rest of the coaching commands that deal with accepting one another deal with the attitude or approach we operate in which will make it possible to accept one another.
Mark 9:50
Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”
Romans 12:16
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Galatians 5:26
Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another other.
Ephesians 5:21
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
James 4:11
Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
James 5:9
Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 5:5
In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
The writers are adamant that we must do everything in our power to adjust our approach and attitude so that when we are dealing with our circle we are accepting!
The key here is found in the foundational passage which said, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." I want you to think back about your condition when Christ accepted you. You were unacceptable. And yet, Jesus accepted you anyway. He looks past your flaws, defects and deficiencies and welcomed you with open arms. This is the way we must learn to approach those in our circles.
Now, notice this only works in relationship with the other orbiting components. I don't believe this can work in the absence of the other components. If you have circle mates that won't confess/forgive, serve, pray, encourage, teach or if you won't do these things then accepting one another is impossible because we never really get to know each other to see the value of one another. We will instead only see the flaws and failures and we will push one another away or hold one another at arms distance. We learn to accept one another when we really get to know one another. If I only know a surface version of you, then your idiosyncrasies, personality traits and preferences will push me away. However, as we do all of these other things that I learn that even if I don't like some things about you that you still have value in my life! In fact, what I learn is that in spite of what is different about us I desperately need you and you desperately need me! I learn that we complete one another and in order for that completion to occur I must accept you!
The writers knew that there would be two major obstacles or significant hurdles that we would have to navigate to be able to accept one another.
The first is we would have to recognize that . . .
Pride keeps us from being partners.
Pride is mentioned 3 different times. The writers knew that if we approached one another with the idea of being superior then we would be separated. In fact, Galatians says . . . Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another other. Paul knew that if we were proud, then we would provoke one another rather than prod one another. We would pick needless fights and pick at the speck in our brother's eye while ignoring our own plank. He knew that pride would lead to envy. Then, if the result of pride in our relationships wasn't severe enough, Peter comes along and says if we operate in pride it gets even worse because not only does that pride impact our relationship with each other it impacts our relationship with God. God literally opposes us! He works against us! We also know that Scripture says that pride comes before a fall. This is true in sin. This is true in our relationships too. Pride causes our relationships to fall apart. So, the writers encourage us to handle each other humbly. Consider the other person's situation, feelings, needs and recognize that you are different not better! Different doesn't equal better! Why do we continue to always think different is better! Different is different! Therefore, we can't let our differences result in pride that then results in prejudice and partnerships being lost.
Judging keeps us from gelling.
The second approach or attitude that the writers knew would keep us from circling would be an attitude of judgment. This is why the teaching component we talked about is so important. When we talk about judging we are not talking about making calls regarding the clear commands in the Word of God or things that violate a clear biblical principle of God’s Word. For instance, we’re not talking about something like adultery. The Bible clearly condemns that, and it’s not being judgmental to condemn adultery. In fact, it is grace to address it because of the devastating impact that it has on everyone involved. Nor are we talking about things like drunkenness or greed, which the Bible clearly forbids. So, if you exhort a believer not to commit adultery or get drunk …you’re not being judgmental; you’re trying to rescue a fellow believer from sin. But what about gray areas — issues the Bible does NOT clearly address? Good Christians dispute these areas because the Bible is not decisively clear about them. That is what Paul was addressing in these passages. And his solution was that we work together to preserve harmony and peace by giving each other room. We don't play judge and jury. We judge according to the Word of God and give grace in every other area. I think there is friction in this area simply because society has hijacked the idea of tolerance to mean that I am required to justify and approve of everything you do. Then we walk into our Christ-centered circles and we are unable to handle right judgement or judgement right. We want tolerance with no judgement. However, societies messed up concept of tolerance isn't the tolerance that we have for one another. We operate in tolerance by handling each other carefully and we tolerant flaws and issues while we collectively work aggressively to fix those flaws and issues. This call to accept one another doesn't mean we ignore sin. We define sin clearly by what is in The Book. It doesn't mean we just deal with bad behavior or bad attitudes. We demand behavior that lines up with The Book! In the meantime, tolerance means we work with one another patiently and lovingly to restore, correct, rebuke so that we grow together. We recognize that none of us are finished products, but that together we are being shaped, smoothed and we are assisting each other in becoming more Christlike! Judge not that you be not judged is not a discourse against making righteous judgement. Rather it is an indictment against judgement with such harshness and lack of love that we drive wedges of resentment and condemnation between circle mates.
We must learn that we can win a fight or we can win a friend. Most of the time you can't win both. The writers are trying to show us how to win/keep brothers and sisters in the faith!
