Circle Check
Pt. 5 - Circle Component 4
I. Introduction
Circles are everywhere. Entertainment. Games. And one of the most obvious places you see circles is in sports.
Holes
Balls
Goals
Pucks
Hoops
Targets
Huddles
Scrums
Circles are another way of saying relationships.
We instinctively seem to know that our circle determines our course. Our friends determine our future. We agree that those close matter most.
We have declared that we must know how a circle is supposed to function. If we don't, then we either never fully tap into or harness the benefit of a circle or we exit or sabotage the circle available to us because we are unwilling to pay the price of transparency, vulnerability and submit to accountability that is necessary for the circle to be meaningful. The result is we either suffer in isolation while we call it independence, or we hop in and out of circles, groups, or churches looking for fruit that we so desperately desire and even envy. However, we never recognize that this fruit can only be obtained and secured through intentional and long-term investment of time. So, in time of need, distress, pain we blame everyone who doesn't respond for being shallow or uncaring or we silently wonder why our relationships lack the roots necessary to sustain us.
If we know function, we then have appropriate expectations and demands. There are some things we should expect from our circle and if the circle doesn't provide these things, then we must either demand and develop it in the circle or we need to do a circle check to determine if it may be time for a circle change. As we work through this, I want to encourage you to do a circle check. I caution you again . . . the tendency is to ask this appropriate question . . . Is my circle doing this for me? However, if we are not careful, then we will fail to ask the equally crucial question . . . Am I doing this for my circle?
So, I informed you that right in plain sight in Scripture there are 59 different "one another" statements giving us circle coaching. Then at closer examination, I discovered that all of these statements can be clustered into 6 components wrapped around one core component.
We have stated that the core component around which the other 6 components orbit is . . . love.
17 different and distinct occasions out of the 59 statements is the instruction to love another. 28% of the list is a command to love one another.
I tell you again that the other 6 components are impossible if we don't first love one another with love that binds and motivates us.
We dealt with one of the most difficult of the orbiting components which was (SLIDE 4) Confess/Forgive.
In a safe circle, we are able to confess and forgive. If we don't confess, then we cannot be healed or whole. We must find confidential and careful circles where the circle mates are aware of their own need for forgiveness so that we can confess, be met with grace and together dislodge the sin and struggles of our life. If our church can be made up of circles like this, then our church will always be a bastion of grace for those who are wounded and broken.
The second orbiting component that must be a part of our circle was serve. Serving one another keeps us circled. Serving is about seeing needs and filling them knowing that as we do this others are seeing our needs and meeting those. And then last week, from quarantine, we said that the third orbiting component was that we must pray for one another. Praying for one another is only mentioned 1 time directly compared to the 8 times we are told to serve. Our prayers can't be a cop out for serving. Prayer should accompany our service, not substitute for it! We must learn to invite God to do what only He can do while we do what we can do! As we pray, we correctly carry one another's burdens.
So, let's continue.
The fourth component, that orbits around love, is encourage for one another.
There are 6 coaching commands regarding encouraging one another. Going to read these out of order simply because there is one generic command and the others that tell us to encourage are very specific on how and why we are to encourage one another.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (2x - generic)
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
There will be the shout of command, the archangel's voice, the sound of God's trumpet, and the Lord himself will come down from heaven. Those who have died believing in Christ will rise to life first; then we who are living at that time will be gathered up along with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. So then, encourage one another with these words.
Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Hebrews 10:24 & 25
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
6 times we are told to encourage one another.
Why is encouraging one another so critical? I could give you all the clinical studies about the power of positive words, but instead let's just reflect on what the “one another” statements teach us about the power of encouragement.
Encouragement gives us hope.
The writers are clear that we encourage one another regarding the coming of Christ. Our encouragement anchors us to that hope! We should be reminding each other frequently that what we see now isn't the end of the story. As we encourage each other we are reminding each other that a better day is coming! And we are told as the day approaches our encouragement frequency should increase not decrease. Are you encouraging more or less?
In this day, in this time, in this season we need circles that will remind us that the end is secure. We need folks to call us back to the fact that Jesus wins and so do we! We can lift our heads because help is coming, and we have hope. Encouragement keeps us hopeful and watchful. It as we encourage each other to remember His coming that we are able to endure the waiting. Haven't you noticed that it is easy in the present environment to drop your eyes? It is easy to take your focus off the hills? It is easy to get distracted and, in the process, we get discouraged. As we encourage, we share hope! We refocus on The Day!
Encouragement helps us stay holy.
The Hebrews writer makes it clear. As we encourage one another we help each other stay holy!
“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”
Hebrews also says, "spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
When we encourage one another when we see folks living right it reinforces their desire to live a life of sacrifice and holiness. I think you can make the logical conclusion that if we are not being encouraged, then we are more likely to be deceived by sin! Our circles play a role in our holiness! Perhaps the reason some of us struggle to stay holy is because we don't have people around us encouraging us to do so!
I think we underestimate the suffering caused by silence!
I know that we know that there is power of death in tongue and so this much power causes us to be cautious. Maybe instructions as a youth . . . if you can't say something good, then don't say anything at all has caused us to clam up. However, I think that perhaps in our attempts to quiet death we allow the silence to limit life. Have we have forgotten or dismissed the power of life that is also contained in the tongue?
Could it be that the struggle we see in so many fellow believers is the direct result of silence?
Could it be that the lack of encouragement flowing in and through circles is a direct contributor to the defeat and destruction of our circle mates?
I think too often we are deficient in prayer, but even more often we are complicit in lack of encouragement. What do I mean? I mean we don't pray as much as we should for one another, but when we fail to open our mouth and encourage one another we actually participate in one another's destruction! The words we fail to share may be the words that could have been a lifeline for life!
We must become committed to and intentional about encouraging one another. We must work at it. Practice encouragement. In fact, the writer of Hebrews says we should encourage one another daily! How many days do we go without encouraging one another?
We must learn to encourage. Criticism comes easy and naturally, but encouragement is something we develop. We must learn to look for the good harder than we look for the bad. We must also learn to articulate and verbalize courage. As we speak, we share courage. I think it is ironic that just based on the “one another” statements we are supposed to talk to one another about one another 6 times as much as we talk to God about one another.
Encourage daily! I wonder if reason people are so weak is if we are trying to fix on Sunday what has been missing the other 6 days of the week.
