Series: Balanced Living [#6]
BEING SOCIALLY BALANCED
John 15:12-13
Introduction:
We are social beings. Loneliness is not a part of God's plan. God made us for relationships. We are meant to have friends.
John 15:12-13
Generally speaking, there are 2 types of friends:
* Casual friends.
Casual friends are the result of circumstances. You happen to be in the same circumstance together. You go to church together, work together, live next door to them, went to school with them, etc…
* Close friends.
Close friends are the result of choice. You can't be close friends with everybody, so you have to be selective. The closer I am to a person the greater their impact on my life.
Proverbs 12:26
The Bible says that the kind of friends that you choose helps show what kind of person you're really like.
Avoid these types of people for your closest friends:
* Lazy people should not be your closest friends.
* Angry people should not be your closest friends.
* Immoral people should not be your closest friends.
* Greedy people should not be your closest friends.
* Unbelieving people should not be your closest friends.
So, what do you do with these people? Ignore them? Of course not. You are to love them; but that does not mean that you have to be close friends. If that is their predominant lifestyle, it will influence you. Likewise, there are some kinds of people you should select.
Select close friends who will...
* Stimulate me mentally.
* Support me emotionally.
* Strengthen me spiritually.
We all have a deep need for fellowship. There's a difference between fellowship and friendship. Friendship is based on your mind and your emotions. Fellowship is a function of your spirit. You can be friends with an unbeliever; but you can only fellowship with other Christians. To fellowship, you have to be going in the same direction. Everybody needs a spiritual encourager. How do I attract that kind of friend? Let's look at how to build friendships.
Philippians 2:4
I build friendships by…
1. Getting interested in other people.
To have friends you must be a friend. The starting point is get interested in other people. Selfishness is a guarantee for loneliness. If you just look at yourself and you're just concerned with your needs, your aches, your pains, your desires, your goals; you are not going to have very many friends. By the way, friendships must be built- They are not automatic. They don't just happen.
Proverbs 15:13
I build friendships by…
2. Smiling.
There is power in a smile. When you smile at somebody, they will smile back at you. A smile costs nothing; but it gives tremendous benefits.
Philippians 2:14-15
I build friendships by…
3. Not being a chronic complainer.
Somebody who is always griping, always complaining, always has got an ache or pain, always has something wrong with everything is not going to have very many friends because nobody likes to be around a cranky person. The person who is not a complainer is so unique and different than everybody else that they stand out.
James 1:19
I build friendships by…
4. Being a good listener.
Be quick to listen and slow to speak. It is wise to ask questions. You can learn from anyone if you just know the right questions to ask. Learn to ask questions. Be a good listener.
Romans 15:7
I build friendships by…
5. Accepting people unconditionally.
You cannot build a true friendship until you stop deciding what that person should be. Accept people unconditionally. Please notice, this is not accepting the sin in their lives, it is loving them in spite of who they are.
Romans 12:10
I build friendships by…
6. Helping people feel significant.
Make them feel important. Bring out the best in them. People do well under approval, affirmation, and appreciation. You treat them as equals.
Romans 12:15
I build friendships by…
7. Sympathizing with them.
If you want friends, you have to reveal your emotions. Get involved emotionally. Be sensitive to people's needs. Listen to people and tune into them. When they hurt, you hurt. When they are happy, you are happy.
Proverbs 18:24
I build friendships by…
8. Sticking with them in tough times.
Friendship means commitment because it takes 4 things to make a friendship: Time, togetherness, triumphs, and trials. All of these things are important in building a friendship. Stick with people. Everybody needs at least 1 close friend. You don't need a lot of friends.
The 2 tests of friendship:
* A friend is someone you can tell your most heretical idea to, and they will not unfriend you.
* A friend is somebody who can confront you about a weakness and you won't get mad at them.
Luke 8:39
I build friendships by…
9. Sharing Christ with them.
The best thing you can do for your friend is share Christ with them. That's the greatest thing you can do. Share with them eternal life and the secret of real joy, the secret of purpose in life. When you share your faith with a friend, you're making a friend for life, not just here and now, but for eternity.
Conclusion:
How about your friends? Are your friends a help or a hindrance? Do they build you up or tear you down? Do you feel free to share your faith? Do they build you up spiritually- Are you hesitant to even talk about those things?
