Cornelius Vanderbilt, the New York millionaire, back in 1853,
entered the Moon Lake Lodge as the talk of the town. The chef was
an Indian Chief named George Crum. He was one of the greatest
chefs, but even he could not know everything. So when Vanderbilt
ordered, what was then the newest craze from France, he was not
sure. French fries were a favorite of the elite. They were new,
exotic, and exclusive. When Vanderbilt's plate came, he complained
that the fries were to thick. He had just been to France where they
were much thinner. They were returned to the kitchen.
The chef was not surprised. The well-to-do were often fussy.
However, when the next batch was also returned he was irritated.
George took his knife and sharpened it to a razor like edge. He
grabbed a potato and sliced it paper thin. He dipped them into
boiling fat, and when they were crisp he delivered them to the
Vanderbilt table himself. It was done to insult him, but when
Vanderbilt tasted it he liked it, and believe it or not, that angry chef
had created a new dish that became a world wide favorite-the potato
chip. Had an Indian chef never gotten angry at a millionaire, who
he thought was a fussy snob, none of us may have ever heard of, or
eaten, a Potato chip.
Conflict often leads to values that none of the parties involved
could ever foresee, for that was certainly not their intention. We see
it in the book of Job with a heated conflict he is having with his
friends. They are aggravating and provoking him, and he is coming
back with answers that reveal, that as miserable as he is, he has not
lost his sense of self-esteem. He hates what has happened to him,
and he loathes his sickness, and his sores, yet he has such a high
view of himself that he refuses to submit to the pressure of his
friends. You might say this is a sign of his pride and stubbornness to
keep up this role of self-assertion. This could be a sign that Job was
a sinful man after all, but not so! The fact is, it is his high sense of
self-esteem, and his determined self-assertion that made him the
man God had such confidence in. A man with weak self-esteem
would never have been allowed by God to go through such a test.
One of the values of this book is that it makes us aware of the
importance of self-esteem. We could live without potato chips, but
none can live as God intended without self-esteem.
Job is dogmatic in his self-defense. He will never, as long as he
lives, and has a breathe, deny his integrity. There is no compromise
here. Job knows he is not a wicked sinner being punished. It is
injustice, and he will never give in to this injustice, and bow before
it. You can call Job one of the most stubborn men who ever lived, or
you can call him one who knew the great value of self-esteem. What
we see here in chapter 27 runs all through the book.
10:7 Job says to God you know I am not guilty.
12:3 Job says to his friends I am not inferior to you.
12:4 Job says I am righteous and blameless.
13:18 Job says I know I will be vindicated.
16:27 Job says my prayer is pure.
Many would look at all of these self-evaluations, and conclude
with Job's friends, he is proud, conceited, and just to stubborn and
self-centered to admit when he is wrong. Job's attitude toward
himself forces us to wrestle with one of life's major issues, the issue
of self-esteem. This is a complex issue because the whole world is in
on it. The public is exposed to many books on self-assertion and
self-esteem. The cult of self worship is one of the largest, and is a
natural fruit of the growth of humanism in our culture.
This can lead to the Christian becoming confused, for it often
seems like the world is saying the same thing as the church, and yet
there are radical differences. The church has been telling youth for
decades to develop self-esteem. They are taught slogans in Youth
For Christ and Young Life that say they are made by God as one of
a kind, and of infinite value, and God never makes junk. Dr. James
Dobson is telling Christian parents that developing a high sense of
self-esteem is the key to their healthy future, and Christian maturity.
But along with this stream of influence there is another stream of
tradition that is quite pessimistic about the self.
Christians through the ages have felt that it is a logical step from
the Biblical commands to deny yourself, take no thought for
yourself, and die to self, to conclude that we should be hating
ourselves. This leads to all kinds of neurotic Christians who
encourage others to wipe their feet on them, because they act like a
dirty rug. That is an appropriate level for one who feels unworthy
to rise above the worm. There favorite song is, "Would he devote
that sacred head for such a worm as I." There favorite text are the
words of John the Baptist, "I am not worthy to stoop and untie His
sandals." Or Paul's words, "I am the least of the apostles, not
worthy to be called an apostle. And, "I am the chief of sinners."
Like a magnet they attract all of the negatives of Scripture that
make them have a low level of self-esteem.
They never seem to notice the balance of Scripture, and listen to
Jesus when he said that John was the greatest born of woman under
the Old Testament system. They do not quote Paul's other words
when he says he is not inferior to any of the apostles, and I can do all
things through Christ who strengthens me. They do not revel in
Paul's self-assertion, when he stood up to his powerful foes and said
you can't do this to a Roman citizen. I demand my rights. And Paul
got them because he had a high sense of self-esteem, and was worthy
of all the rights of a citizen of Rome.
The Christian who thrives on low self-esteem tends to look at
Jesus only as the Lamb who opened not His mouth, as he was led to
the slaughter. They do not like to focus on His defiance of the
injustice of the Jewish authorities, and of his self-assertion that led
him to break their laws to meet human need. It is obvious there is a
need for balance in this whole area of self-esteem. We are dealing
with a paradox, and must see that self-esteem is both good and bad,
for it can be a vice as well as a virtue. The difference is in how you
see the self which you esteem.
If, like the humanist, you worship the creature rather than the
Creator, and make the self the highest end, then self-esteem becomes
a curse. It makes people think they can run roughshod over
everybody else, for all that matters is that they get their own way.
Paul warns about the danger of thinking more highly of yourself
than you ought. But with self in the proper place as a child and
servant of God, self-esteem becomes one of the greatest values of life.
As a sinner you know you are unworthy of God's grace, but you are
so grateful for His love and forgiveness, that you are proud to be a
part of His family. Your sin and weakness keeps you humble, but
God's grace and love keeps you proud, and so there is balance.
Your self-esteem is not an exaltation of your fallen nature, but of
your redeemed nature, and, therefore, it is a part of your praise to
God.
When you love God with your whole being, you are not loving
God with junk, but with the finest redeemed jewels that exist. When
you present your body a living sacrifice to God, you are not offering
Him trash, but one of the finest treasures you possess. When you
understand that the self in Christian self-esteem is the Christ-centered,
Christ loving, Christ obeying self, then you avoid all of the
nonsense of the two extremes of humanistic pride and Christian
asceticism. In other words, it is just as sinful and foolish to try and
put down the redeemed self as it is to exalt the unredeemed self.
Christians who glory in inferiority pervert the Christian faith.
It is true that riches do not save, but neither does poverty. It is
true that fame does not save, but neither does obscurity. We are not
saved by health, but neither are we saved by sickness. Power does
not save, nor does weakness. Beauty will not get you into heaven,
but neither will homeliness. The point is, it is folly to think that the
opposite of what does not please God, must please God.
Sophistication will not sanctify you before God, but does it follow
that being unkempt will? Just because your knowledge will not
impress God, does not mean that your ignorance will impress Him.
Christians who are deceived by shallow thinking try to fight the sin
of pride by loathing the self, and thereby please God. But nobody
but the devil and his demons are pleased with a rejection of one of
God's greatest creations, made in His own image. Therefore, we all
need to learn from Job how to have a sense of self-esteem when
everybody who should love you, does not. Let's look at how Job's
friends were constantly attacking his self-esteem.
1. They called him names. Two of them called him an old windbag.
2. They constantly imply he is a rotten sinner.
3. They throw the blame for all his suffering right in his face.
4. Zopher goes so far as to say in 11:6 that Job deserves worse than
what he is getting.
5. The imply that he is a stupid idiot who has learned nothing from
history, and is quite inferior to them, because they have, and are
thus wiser.
Most men would be pushed so low by these attacks they would
have to reach up to touch bottom. Not Job! He knew the principle
that none can make you inferior without your consent, and he never
gave it. It was still a sin for his friends to try and rob him of his self-esteem,
but he would not allow them to succeed. One of the great
sins of man is his inability to love his neighbor as himself. It is the
second greatest command of God, and the second hardest thing for
man to do. The fall made men want to put others down that they
might be raised up. This was the sin of Satan. He wanted to put God
down that he might be exalted. All sin is a desire to exalt the self at
the expense of others. It is the exact opposite of the attitude of John
the Baptist who said, "He must increase, but I must decrease."
Selfishness is based on a feeling of low self-worth. People feel
they are not worthy of love and respect just for who they are. They
feel they have to get worth by making someone else less than they
are. The selfish person is not that way because they have too high a
view of themselves, but almost always it is because they have too low
a view of their self-worth. True self-love and self-esteem say, "I
have value in myself, and do not need to be compared to someone
else for self-worth." A person who loves themselves will not need to
put others down, but will respect others, even if they are different,
for he will recognize their worth, even as they recognize their own worth.
A song goes like this: "I'm proud to be me, but I also see, you're
just as proud to be you." The person with self-esteem can enjoy the
worth of others, for he is not fighting them for the sake of gaining
his own self-worth. The self-centered person is competing with
others for worth. He is not happy with himself because it is a bore
to be always fighting for recognition and worth. It gets tiresome to
be always thinking of yourself. The poet put it-
Oh, let me think of bug or beef;
Of Bismark or the Caspian Sea,
Of anything to get relief
From that confounded nuisance, me!
Oh, let me think of Joan of Arc;
Of Truffles, queens and kitchen maids,
Of George the Fifth and Central Park,
Of cheese and Labor Day parades.
Grant me O Lord, no neater rhyme.
For use nor usufruct of pelf,
But just a thought from time to time
Of something other than myself!
The person with self-esteem does not need to always be thinking
of himself, for he know he is of worth whether anyone is thinking of
him or not. It is only those who have low self-esteem who must be
ever in the limelight, and who need constant reassurance of their
worth. The friends of Job are always bragging about their wisdom,
knowledge, and righteousness, as they put Job down. They sound
like they have it all together, and have a high view of themselves, but
it is not so. It is low self-esteem that puts others down.
It is low self-esteem that cannot bear to be wrong. These friends of
Job are just like the Christians who cannot face the humiliation of being wrong,
and so rather than admit error, they leave a church and go elsewhere.
It is the person with a high and healthy self-esteem who does not
fear that his mistake will crush him. He knows he is fallible, and he
knows he can be forgiven, so he says I over- reacted, or I misjudged,
or I sinned, please forgive me. He is forgiven, and gets back on the
right track. Those with low self-esteem are always on the defensive,
protecting their ego, and they find pleasure in attacking the life and
ideas of other people, just like Job's friends.
If you tend to specialize in being down on yourself, you lack self-esteem,
and you are your own worse enemy. A girl was asked,
"Why don't you ever get into the discussion?" She said, "I think its
better if I am the only one who knows how dumb I am." This
reveals a severe case of low self-esteem. Self-esteem is based on the
awareness that life is a partnership. God made us, but we play a
major role in what we become. God made Eden, but He put a man
there to keep it up. Adam helped to keep Eden the beautiful garden
that it was. God gives man a major role to play in producing fruit in
His own garden. Without God I could do nothing. I cannot make a
seed, and I cannot make a seed grow to produce plants. Only God
can do that. But when God does His part, I can be a partner and do
things that make a difference. I can weed and cultivate. I can
fertilize and water, and the result is I can feel proud of the end
product, because I help God produce delicious fruit.
That is what self-esteem is all about. It is an awareness that I can
do nothing without Christ, but with Him I can do much that will be
a blessing to myself and others. A little girl was asked, "Who made
you?" "God made part of me," she responded. "Part of you- what
do you mean?" She said, "He made me real little and I just growed
the rest myself." God, of course, is also in on the growing process,
but He allows us a major role, just as He does in our garden. We
have, not only a right, but an obligation to be proud of what we have
done together-God and I.
The Weaver in England prayed a proper prayer when he
prayed, "O God, help me always to keep a good opinion of myself."
Job did not always have a good opinion of his friends, and for good
reason. He did not always have a good opinion of God either, and
this was because of his ignorance of what was going on. His negative
views of God were partially justifiable, but the thing we see all
through the book is this: Job never lost his good opinion of himself.
He knew he was a sinner, but he knew also that he loved God and
man, and did all he could to show that love. He did not deserve to
suffer as he did. His high self-esteem kept him afloat in the flood he
endured.
It can do the same for us, and as we meet around the Lord's
table, we focus on the source of all valid self-esteem, which is the
cross. Jesus said, "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay
down his life for a friend." You place the highest value you can
place on another person when you will sacrifice your life for them.
That is how much Jesus said those for whom He died were worth. Is
anyone worth the cost of the death of the Son of God? God says yes.
The cross is God's revelation of how much He considers a person is
worth. The more we grasp the truth of what the cross means, the
higher our self-esteem will rise. Again the poet put it-
The joy of life is mine,
And cause I have to sing,
` God loves me here and now,
His hand's in everything.
Life holds no terror then,
No victim of some fate.
I love myself as God does,
And I can celebrate.
Communion is a celebration. It is a commemoration of that
central event in history that makes all of our lives worth while, and
gives meaning to all of life. As we remember what Jesus did for us,
let us remember that because He did it, we are the most valued
creatures in the universe, and this is our basis for an everlasting self-esteem.
