Emilie Lorning in her novel, Swift Waters, tells the story of a
young single pastor who fell in love with a beautiful young woman in
his congregation. She learned to play the chimes in the tower of the
church, and when she learned the pastor's favorite hymn, she would
play it frequently. There was great difficulty for either of them to
communicate how they felt about each other, and so the relationship
did not develop.
It took a calamity to bring them together. The community was
struck by a sudden flood. She was caught in the church and had to
flee to the tower for safety. As darkness fell, a great searchlight
moved about illuminating the flooded city. As she followed the light,
she spotted her lover rescuing a family from the roof of a nearby
home. The light moved on, but when it returned she saw the last
child put in the boat, but her lover sinking in total exhaustion. His
thoughts were that he had done his best, and now, since there was no
one who needed him, he was ready to die.
Meanwhile back in the church tower it dawned on her that she
could do something. She sprang to the controls, and sent out over
the waters the notes of his favorite hymn.
O God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come;
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home.
When this message in music reached his ears, he knew whose hand
was at the controls. A new surge of strength filled his being, and he
swam to safety to find life and a love that even flood waters could
not quench. This is not only a good love story, it illustrates the
tremendous power of encouragement. A drowning man can be
saved by encouragement. It can make the hopeless hopeful, and the
despairing feel like living again.
Encouragement can spur men on to tasks they would never do
without it. D.L. Moody told of a fireman climbing up a burning
building to rescue a child. The wind swept flames came so near he
wavered, and he considered giving up, but someone in the crowd
below said, "Give him a cheer." The crowd roared its
encouragement, and with fresh courage the fireman went on to save
the child. In the day of judgment, said Moody, those who did the
cheering shall in no wise lose their reward. To be an encourager is
to be in God's will.
The great Dr. F. B. Meyer said, if he had his ministry to live over
again, he would preach more sermons of encouragement to God's
people. Its a shame that Eliphaz did not hear Dr. Meyer before he
went off to visit Job. If anyone ever needed the rejuvenation that
encouragement can give, it was Job. Unfortunately, none of the
three friends of Job had the gift of encouragement. If they did, it
was well hidden. Job was drowning in a sea of lonely despair, but
instead of hearing the lovely music of encouragement, Job heard
only the discord of criticism. The result is, Job is not a love story,
because even though all of the characters in the drama are friends,
they are empty of sympathy, and so there is seldom heard an
encouraging word, and so the skies are just cloudy all day. The
saying, "With friends like that who needs enemies?" Must have
originally been a reference to Job's friends.
Nothing hinders growth and achievement more in the Christian
life than does discouragement. It is one of Satan's most effective
tools for fruit reduction in the life of a believer. The fruit of the
Spirit can only grow in the sunlight of encouragement. This being
so, the book of Job makes clear that one of life's greatest tragedies is
that believers do not comfort and encourage one another, but rather
are often discouraging. That is what we see Job's friends being to
him. The paradox is, they did it by using that which is true.
Commentator after commentator on the book of Job is impressed
with the eloquence of Eliphaz. He is a master theologian. He has a
profound grasp of the principles of life. So much of what he says is
excellent material for expounding on the glory and majesty of God.
Why then does God call him foolish at the end of the book?
Because he misapplies his wisdom. He says the right thing, but
always in the wrong place, and to the wrong person. Truth out of
context can become folly. This explains why something that is true
does not necessarily encourage us. Being true is not enough. Ideas
must fit the need, or their truthfulness is of little value. There are millions
of things that are true, and even important, but they are not
relevant in times of grief. We see this so clearly in chapter 5 of Job.
Hopefully this study will teach us how not to do it. Eliphaz meant to
be a comfort, but instead he was a master of discouraging comfort.
The first thing we see is,
I. DISCOURAGEMENT BY COMPARISON.
Eliphaz compares Job to a fool who does everything wrong, and
so deserves to suffer for it. What he says about the fool in these first
few verses is perfectly true. They call upon gods who will never
answer, and never give them support. They kill themselves by their
foolish anxiety and bitter rebellion against life. Their children
parish because of their background that prepares them only for
misery. The fool eventually loses everything, and brings all the
troubles of life upon himself. It is as natural for the fool to get into
trouble as it is for the sparks in your campfire to fly upward.
Everything he says is true, and can be supported by other
Scriptures. Why then is Eliphaz classified as a fool himself, for he is
giving an accurate description of a fools life? It is because he is
implying that it fits Job's situation. He does not come right out and
say so, as the other friends will later do, but you can count on it, Job
felt the cutting edge of the comparison. Trouble does not just
happen, he says to Job. There is always a cause for it, and the cause
is folly. The degree of your trouble makes it obvious that you have
been and utter fool somewhere along the line. Eliphaz could have
written a book on the power of negative thinking, for he was an
expert.
My reading, and possibly your own experience, suggests that
what the grief sufferer really wants is neither positive nor negative
thinking, but rather, a caring presence. The last thing they need is
what Job is getting here-a comparison with the sufferings of others
that throws the burden for the whole thing back on him. Many
times we suffer and have to confess that we have been foolish and to
blame. We have brought it on ourselves, and must bear the
responsibility of the pain. But to make this the cause of all suffering
is to be cruel, as Eliphaz was being cruel to Job.
Let me share some testimonies of some suffering members of the
body of Christ. They reveal that the sufferers greatest need is
sympathy. They are encouraged by those friends who can just
accept them where they are, and not try to explain things by
comparing their suffering with that of others.
1. John Thomas is the chaplain of Mendota State Hospital in
Madison, Wisconsin. He lost his wife to cancer after a seven year
battle. He went through a period of grief, and he wrote, "When I
was able to share my loneliness and hurt other people responded.
With only two exceptions, people did not try to cheer me up. I found
that to be important because it said its okay for me to feel loss and
grief and crying, its all right to be this way now." Eliphaz could not
do this. He could not accept Job's grief and depression. He saw it as
a defect that proved he must be guilty of great folly. Job made the
same mistake with his wife. He could not accept her grief, and said,
"You speak like one of the foolish women." It is hard to just accept
people where they are, but it is the only way to be of comfort.
2. Janette Klopfenstein has written two books about death and grief
since her husband died suddenly at age 29. In her book, My Walk
Through Grief, she tells of her battle with depression. "Those who
came and cried and shared a feeling of loss were much more
supporting than those who came as comforters and said nice words.
Canned phrases about life must go on, and Bible quotes about the
mysteries of God, and the goodness of God's will, especially when
quoted by those who had not faced a devastating death, seemed glib
indeed." This speech of Eliphaz is filled with the very things that discourage
most who suffer grief. It is not only the negative approach he begins with,
but even the positive approach of trying to cheer him up with glorious
theological truths.
There is good news here for those of you who never know what to
say. Don't feel bad, for it seems that most all of the mistakes are
made by those who have something to say. The evidence of life says,
the less you say, the better. Just say you are sorry and be with them,
and listen. Job's friends never became a problem until they opened
their mouths, and began to explain everything.
3. Joseph T. Bayly lost three grown sons to disease and accidents.
He is one of the great Christian grief sufferers of our day. In his
book, The View From The Hearse, he writes, "We are most likely to
be helpful with an economy of words. In our context with people at
death...it is easy to say too much, to talk when we ought to listen. I
was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God's
dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked
constantly, and he said things I knew were true. I was unmoved,
except to wish he'd go away. He finally did. Another came and sat
beside me. He didn't talk. He didn't ask leading questions. He
listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply,
left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go."
The grief sufferer can say to every friend, you light up my life
either by your coming or by your leaving. The goal is to be one who
comforts by being present rather than absent. Eliphaz could have
encouraged Job by remaining silent, or by leaving, but he had to
explain everything to Job, and make sure he understood why he was
suffering. Thomas John Carlisle, a modern poet, writes, "It is a
large order for friends to stay shut up, and Job was no luckier than
we. It is the subtle and grateful superiority of the non-sufferer that
gets us. He is glad that he isn't in our boat, but he bids us keep an
elevated chin, and not rock anything. He knows he can go home
unscathed not being at our address or in our shoes. This leads us to
look at the second paragraph of the speech of Eliphaz which reveals-
II. DISCOURAGEMENT BY CONTRAST.
First he compares Job to the fool who does everything wrong and
suffers the consequences, and now he contrasts Job with the wise
man who does everything right, and so always comes out smelling
like a rose. The wise man, of course, is himself. In verse 8 he says,
"As for me, I would seek God and commit my cause to Him." In
other words, if I were in your shoes Job, I would not be carrying on
in this scandalous way, but I would surrender to God, who would
reverse my fortunes, and raise me up. God does not raise up the
foolish and the wicked, who seek by crafty schemes to get their own
way. He brings them to defeat, and since that is where you are, you
are obviously not responding to God like I would.
Eliphaz is again implying that Job is missing the boat by not
confessing, repenting, and casting himself on the mercy of God. He
is saying that if Job was really as spiritual as he is, he could solve
this whole mess, but apparently he is unwilling to surrender. There
is a very subtle assumption here that may influence all of us.
Eliphaz is assuming that just because Job is unfortunate he must be
on a lower level morally and spiritually. In other words, Job is no
longer on the same plain with the prosperous non-sufferer. His
suffering makes him inferior to his advisors. It all fits his little
theory that dominates his theology, which is, that the fool suffers,
and the wise prosper. It is all so simple, but it is the cruelest
theology around. Eliphaz could not grasp the idea of the sufferer
being one who was still in God's will.
Eliphaz looked into the mirror and said, "Mirror, mirror, on the
wall, whose the wisest of them all." Then he stood there pleased as it
reflected his own image. He thought, I am healthy and prosperous
because I seek God. Job, in contrast, is sick and in misery. The only
explanation is that he does not seek God. He must be a fool and not
wise like me. Eliphaz is a victim of his own theology, and he was one
of Job's heaviest burdens. Satan's work was swift, but the torment
of his friends was slow agonizing torture. The third thing we see in
this chapter is the greatest paradox of all-
III. DISCOURAGEMENT BY COMFORT.
In verse 17 Eliphaz says, "Happy is the man whom God reproves,
therefore despise not the chastening of the Almighty." Eliphaz goes
on for the rest of his speech describing the victory that Job can
experience over all the evils of life. The future is bright he is saying
to Job, if you only repent and respond as God desires. He ends this
chapter with a word of authority by saying, "We have searched this
out Job, and it is true." If you know what is good for you, you will
listen, for this is the medicine you need for a cure. Job, of course,
vomits at the very thought of their medicine, and they are deeply
offended. They are even more convinced than ever that he is a
wretched sinner. They had given Job their best shot. Their comfort
was the best they knew how to give, and Job rejected it. Obviously
Job must have deep spiritual problems to reject our wisdom and
advice, was their conclusion. They never dreamed that Job's
problem was their advice and comfort.
Let's examine this comfort to see how it can be that something
true and good can be such a pain. The truth of what Eliphaz says in
verse 17 is beyond dispute. Both the Old Testament and New
Testament teach it clearly that the Lord chastens those whom He
loves. It is so undeniable that even the pagan world accepts it
validity. Nevertheless, it is irrelevant to Job's situation because it
doesn't fit. This truth cannot be applied to all suffering of God's
children, for it makes a mockery of God's love and Fatherhood. Any
father who would chasten his children by germ warfare, and giving
them a disease, or by breaking their bodies, or destroying all that
they love, would be justly locked up as a disgrace to society.
Here we have Job's friends trying to get him to swallow a
theology that says, all your tragedy is God's way of making you a
better person. It is the chastening of the Lord that ought to make
you rejoice, for it shows He really cares. This is, in fact, a valid piece
of the puzzle in dealing with the mysteries of suffering, but when this
piece is forced to fit where it does not fit, it is folly to try and make it
fit. It ought to be obvious to a blind man that Eliphaz is trying to
apply a truth where it just does not belong. Death and destruction is
not a chastening. If it is from God, it is wrath and judgment, and
not anything to be happy about.
It is tragic when theologians try to apply a truth to every
situation. It is like the wisdom I read one time that said, "Death is
natures way of telling us to slow down." This is no more ridiculous
than Eliphaz trying to tell Job that all is well and the future is
bright, because all you have suffered is just the chastening of the
Lord. This kind of comfort is a mockery of God and also of the
depth of Job's grief. He did not just lose the local bowling
tournament, or five hundred dollars on the stock market-he lost
everything. This theology, which is so true in life's minor trials and
set backs, is so false when applied to a major calamity. Charles
Simeon says the major fault of these men of piety was their,
"Continual misapplication of the sublimest truths." May God help
us to see from their mistakes that the truth of any statement is no
justification for its cruel and uncharitable application. Eliphaz
almost had to endure God's chastening for his false use of the idea of
chastening in relationship to Job's suffering.
Eliphaz was going to make this truth fit Job even though it was
like Saul's armor on David. No wonder Job resisted and rejected it.
He was wise to do so, just as David was wise to get out of the armor.
The armor was good armor, and doubtless could have saved many a
warrior in battle, but it did not fit David, and would have been a
hindrance to his victory. So this truth about chastening is a real
Biblical message that can be of great help in many situations of life.
But when it is applied where it does not fit, it is folly and hurtful.
The friends of Job lacked the ability to be flexible about life.
They were like computers locked into a pattern of response. As soon
as they saw suffering, their mind registered sin. They had no other
category in which to think. They were no prepared to consider the
possibility of a righteous sufferer. If the righteous suffered was the
chastening of the Lord for their sin. There was no other category.
They could not deal with individuals, but only with categories. They
did not listen to Job, or try to understand his unique situation. He
just fell into a category, and they responded automatically as they
would to all in that category. Everything is black and white, and
there is no room for individual differences. They were not open to a
God who deals with us as individuals; a God who could deliver Peter
from prison, but let John the Baptist die there. There theology was
fixed, and any thought of flexibility would be considered
compromise.
Jesus was rejected because of thinking like Job's friends. They
were Godly men who did it, for they thought they were the
defenders of the faith. They said God is one, and no man can be
God. They were right, of course, but they were not flexible enough
to see that God had the freedom to become man, and he also had the
capability of being three in one. In other words, they locked God in
and said, He can do nothing outside of our system. Jesus did not fit
their theology, so they crucified Him. Job's friends are verbally
crucifying him because he will not fit their system.
One of the most important lessons we need to learn from the
word of God, and from history, is that everybody is an exception.
That is, you do not deal with any person on the basis of a system.
Such legalism is condemned by the Word and history. The only
Christlike way to deal with people is to treat everyone as a unique
individual. Do not categorize people and classify them, and then
whip out your chart to see what your response should be. This may
seem very scientific, but it is cruel, and a rejection of the person.
Job's friends were discouraging comforters because they never did
listen to him and treat him as an individual.
Jesus did not have a book of rules to tell Him how to deal with
different categories of people. The Pharisees had that book. He did
not see a leper and say, in this case I must cross the street and pass
on the other side. He did not confront a prostitute and say, in this
case I must not speak to her or be touched by her. He did not
encounter a Publican and say, I dare not eat with this kind of man.
Jesus had no such rule book. He dealt with all people as individuals,
and the result was, He had no prejudice, but was able to minister to
all kinds of people equally. Job's friends would rather fight than
switch, but the purpose of the book of Job is to help us see, if we are
like them, we need to switch and deal with people in a Christlike
way. Job's friends show us how not to do it. Jesus shows us how to
do it. He was the great Comforter. If you want to be pleasing to
God, and a pleasure to man, be an encourager to those who suffer,
and do not be one who gives discouraging comfort.
