‘Woman, behold your son.
John 19: 26-27
" Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' From that time on, this disciple took her into his home." (John 19:25-27)
Of the four gospel writers, John is the only one who records Mary's presence at the cross. It would be expected that Jesus' mother be in Jerusalem at Passover -- after all, we read, "Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover" (Luke 2:41). Probably after Joseph's death -- presumed to have taken place before Jesus began his ministry -- Mary would come up to Jerusalem for the Feast with friends and relatives.
Now her son is in trouble - arrested, tried, condemned, crucified and now dying. Surely, Mary's place is close to her son. And so Simeon's prophecy given at Jesus' dedication comes to pass:
"And a sword will pierce your own soul too." (Luke 2:35b)
She is near him now. She is also consoled by friends.
Just who are these friends? Verse 25 seems to include Mary plus three other women. These are probably the same women who appear in the Synoptic Gospels. Matthew explains: "Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs" (Matthew 27:55; Luke 8:3).
In addition to Mary, the women at the cross seem to be: (1) Mary Magdalene (2)Mary (the wife) of Clopas seems to correspond easily to "Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses (Joseph)" (Mark 15:40; Matthew 27:56). She is probably "the other Mary" who was with Mary Magdalene at the tomb Friday night and on Sunday morning (Matthew 27:61; 28:1). (3) The third woman may well be Salome, who is the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee. Now the story unfolds further.
Who is this "disciple whom he loved"? We see this phrase only four other times --and only in John's Gospel This disciple is clearly identified as the author of the Gospel of John (John 21:24). Church tradition identifies this disciple with John the Apostle. Perhaps the Gospel writer doesn't identify himself by name out of modesty.
This disciple whom Jesus loved, John, one of three disciples closest to him, is the only male disciple who is at the foot of the cross as Jesus is dying. The others are too afraid to be so closely identified with a man condemned by the Romans, as well as by the leaders of their own people (Mark 14:50; Luke 23:49).
Jesus' Third Word from the cross to this small band of faithful friends huddled below is fascinating for all it implies.
First, Jesus addresses his mother not as "Mother," but as "woman," translated appropriately as "dear woman" by the NIV. We might sense a coldness in the term as used in our culture, but in Jesus' culture, it was perfectly proper for a man to address a woman this way -- but still strange for a son to a mother. The reason for this more formal address is probably that Jesus intends His words to be understood as a formal testamentary disposition under Jewish family law.
As Mary's firstborn, Jesus is legally responsible for her welfare, to ensure that she has a place to live and food to eat during her widowhood. Jesus entrusts his mother to John's care and John takes this commission seriously:
"From that time on, this disciple took her into his home." (John 19:27b)
As I reflect on this Third Word from the Cross, I begin to see something about the extent of Jesus' love. Here he is dying in agony, gasping for each breath. He sees his mother, the one who comforted him through all of childhood's cuts and bruises. When he was a boy he would run home to mother and instantly be wrapped in her protective, comforting mother love.
But now as he sees her at the foot of the cross, heartbroken, weeping, inconsolable, His heart goes out to her. Rather than being consumed by an understandable concern for His own welfare, he is concerned of her welfare.
She is a widow -- soon to be a widow who will be known as mother to that crucified criminal, Jesus. Life will not be easy for her.
What are we as Jesus' disciples to learn from this Word from the cross?
First, we must love our parents -- no matter what. Sometimes our parents misunderstand us or disapprove of decisions we make. Sometimes they can hurt us grievously. Jesus, too, had felt the hurt of misunderstanding from his family -- even his mother. It's apparent that during part of his ministry, his family didn't understand him.
His family thought, "He is out of his mind," and went to take charge of him (Mark 3:21, 31-35) -- his brothers apparently came along with Mary.
"Even his own brothers did not believe in him." (John 7:5)
Having said that, we are not absolved of family obligations.
The Apostle Paul is adamant:
"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Timothy 5:8)
How do we reconcile our primary commitment to Jesus with responsibility for our families? Sometimes with great difficulty. But to put Christ first doesn't mean that we are free to neglect our parents -- it means only that we get our priorities in proper relation to each other. God will give us wisdom to work this out.
Here at the end of his life, we see in Jesus the tender love of a son for His mother -- a mother who had sometimes misunderstood him. As he dies he settles his earthly obligations as best he can, we hear him say, "Dear woman, here is your son ... Here is your mother" (John 19:26-27).
In the mystery of the Incarnation, the eternal Christ became a helpless child, depended upon His mother for physical and spiritual sustenance. When God became man, He took no half–way measures. He went through the helplessness of every child, the development in body, mind, and soul that each of us has known - Luke 2:40. As Jesus was growing, someone taught Him to behold the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. Someone taught Him to observe so keenly the pathos and drama of village life, The son of Man saw life with all the sensitivity of a woman, and that woman was Mary True He was fully God but He was also fully man.
At age twelve Jesus made the declaration to his parents "I must be about my Father’s business." After the public ministry of Jesus begins, the Gospels keep Mary in the background. At the wedding in Cana of Galilee Jesus said to His mother, "Woman, what have I to do with you. My hour has not come" (John 2:4). Two years later Jesus was teaching at Capernaum. Rumors have it that Jesus had a " impure spirit" KJV (Mk. 3:30-35). Mary came to check up on her son and sent word to Jesus. The Pharisees said to Him, "Your mother and your brothers are outside wanting to see you."
Jesus responded, "Who is my mother? And who are my brothers?" (Matthew 12:48-50). "Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my mother, and sisters, and brother."
Simeon's prophecy is recorded for us in Luke 2:34-35. "And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary His mother, 'Behold, this Child is appointed for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and for a sign to be opposed—and a sword will pierce even your own soul—to the end that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.'"
Someone has eloquently written about this piercing of Simeon’s sword: There her son hung before her eyes, but she was helpless. His wounds bled, but she dared not stop the flow of the blood. . His mouth was parched, hot like an oven, but she cannot moisten it. His body ached, arched from the pain of the scourged, the tearing of the thorns, the piercing of the nails, but she cannot sooth Him. Those out–stretched arms used to clasp her neck; she used to fondle those pierced hands and feet when He was young; now the nails pierced her as well as him. The thorns around his brow were a circle of flame about her head. The taunts flung at Him wounded her likewise. To add to her agony, Jesus was dying the death of a criminal. Mary was going through the experience prophesied by Simeon. 'A sword shall pierce through thy own soul also. .
Now If Mary needs a son to love and cherish, and provide for her needs, she must look to the disciple John.
Jesus is the central person in the drama before us. God will not share his glory with another, not even the earthly mother of Jesus.
Jesus was fulfilling to the last detail the letter of the Law. "Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother."
The subject of honoring our parents is one of great importance One reason for its importance is that both the Old and the New Testament Scriptures command us to honor our parents. The Fifth Commandment states, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you” (Exodus 20:12). This commandment must be taken seriously, not only because it is a matter of Old Testament revelation, but because the obligation to honor parents is one that is reiterated and reinforced by the New Testament:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Thus, honoring our parents is a command, which we dare not ignore. But there is a second reason for carefully studying the Fifth Commandment. Honoring our parents is one of the highest callings and the greatest tasks we face in life.
The third reason for a thorough study of the Fifth Commandment is that our culture most often hinders and opposes our efforts to honor our parents.
Not only does the Fifth Commandment relate to and facilitate the keeping of the last commandments, it also is very much related to the keeping of those commandments pertaining to the worship of God. This is especially apparent in Malachi 1:6: “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect? says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name. But you say, ‘How have we despised Thy name?’”
Those who would honor God must also honor their parents. Those who honor parents have already begun to honor God. Our earthly fathers are, on the one hand, God’s representatives, instructing and discipling their children in His place. On the other hand, parents serve to illustrate the way in which God is at work in the lives of His children, as a Father. This is seen, for example, in Proverbs chapters 2 and 3, where the father’s care for his child is likened to God’s fatherly care for His children.
Honoring parents was a vitally important obligation, signaled by its inclusion in the Ten Commandments, by the death penalty attached to its flagrant violation, and by the detail which we are given about the evidences of honoring parents or its neglect .
Honoring parents was fundamental for the passing on of Israel’s faith from one generation to another. It was also important because it enhanced and facilitated the honoring of God (commandments 1-4) and others (commandments 6-10).
When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own household. After this, Jesus, knowing that all things had already been accomplished, in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, “I am thirsty”
Tradition says John took Mary into his home and she lived with him in Jerusalem for eleven years and died. Another says John took her with him to Ephesus and she lived there until she died.
