Have you observed how when children are little they find it easy to forgive one another? Most children are ready to apologize immediately, forget offenses, and get back into relationship with one another. However, as we grow older, forgiving others becomes a major issue. Relationships at every level are broken or shattered, simply because many choose to continue on without forgiving those who offended them.
The bible gives us a good understanding of the kind of forgiveness that God extends to us, and also clearly explains the kind of forgiveness we must offer others.
The way Joseph forgave
The story of Joseph as recorded in Genesis Chapters 37 to 50 is a truly incredible account. Joseph, the favorite son of his father Jacob, was thrown into a pit and sold into slavery by his own brothers, because of their intense hatred and envy against him. The Lord was with Joseph through all the ups and downs of his life, as a slave in Egypt; and in His time God, elevated Joseph to become second in command to Pharaoh, king of Egypt. When Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt looking for food at a time of famine, Joseph dealt with them with kindness and generosity, instead of repaying them for their cruelty.
The climax of this story was, when Joseph’s father Jacob died, Joseph’s brothers assumed that he would avenge and get even with them. In Genesis 50:16-18, Joseph’s brothers begged Joseph to forgive them for all the wrong they had done to him and fell at his feet seeking his forgiveness.
This is the response of Joseph as recorded in Genesis 50:19-21, But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them. (NLT)
The reaction of Joseph confounds us as he wept and extended unconditional forgiveness to his brothers, who had been cruel to him, and done him much harm. Joseph was able to do this only because he saw things from God’s perspective, and he realized that the evil that was intended against him, was actually God’s way of saving his entire family, who would have otherwise died during the severe famine.
The forgiveness that Jesus offered
The woman caught in adultery
John Chapter 8:1-11, narrates the incident when a woman who was caught in adultery was brought before Jesus by the religious leaders. While the law demanded that such a one be stoned to death, the religious leaders wanted to test Jesus to see what would be His response. Jesus did two things; He stooped down and began to write on the ground and when the accusers kept demanding an answer, Jesus responded to them with this statement as found in John 8:7, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” (NLT)
That one statement of Jesus silenced every accuser, and one can imagine the scene as every one of them slipped out, from the oldest to the youngest, quietly dropping their stones as they escaped from the scene. The only one who could have condemned her chose not to do so, and every person who brought the allegation left hastily knowing that no one was perfect before the holy Son of God.
These are the words of Jesus to this woman in John 8:10-11, “Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”(NLT)
Jesus came into this world to lavish this forgiveness on sinful humanity by taking all of our sins on the cruel cross of Calvary. This was why, even in those moments of intense pain and agony, the sinless Lamb of God could cry out as recorded in Luke 23:34, “…Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (ESV)
It is this forgiveness of Jesus that encourages us to forgive those who do us wrong because we know that not one of us is worthy to receive this forgiveness that Jesus offers to us.
Why do we find it hard to forgive others?
• Often our egos hinder us from forgiving others
• The hurts caused are too deep and painful
• We feel we are in the right, and therefore justify our stance to not forgive
• The person who hurt us does not feel any remorse for their wrongdoing
• We have not personally experienced the forgiveness that Jesus offers
What are God’s guidelines on forgiveness?
1. We forgive others because Christ forgave us
We read in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (ESV)
Just imagine if God chose to not forgive us for all the sins we commit every day. We would be without hope, both here and for eternity. Jesus set the example, is willing to forgive us of all our sins and unrighteousness and He encourages us to extend this same forgiveness to those who offend us in any way.
2. God will forgive us only if we are willing to forgive others
In Matthew 6:15 we read, “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”(ESV)
Jesus was categorical in stating that if after having received the forgiveness that He offers us if we are not willing to forgive others, the Father in heaven will not forgive us our sins.
3. There is no limit to forgiveness
In Matthew 18:21-22, we read, “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.” (ESV)
This was a valid question posed by Peter to Jesus. Jesus’ answer astounded Peter when He helped Peter understand that there was no limit to forgiving someone. As long as we are recipients of God’s unlimited forgiveness, it is our duty to extend the same limitless forgiveness to those who sin against us.
4. Forgiveness brings healing
In James 5:16, we read, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (NLT)
When we offer forgiveness to each other, confess our sins and pray for one another, relationships are healed and restored.
5. Our prayers will not be hindered
We read in Mark 11:25, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (ESV)
Often times our prayers are not answered because we are holding on to grudges, and have not forgiven those who have wronged us.
We may have many reasons why we can’t forgive someone, but the Lord reminds us that we must be willing to forgive. Practically speaking, if we have wronged someone, it may mean that we need to have the humility to apologize to them. So also, if others offend us by word or deed, and apologize for it, we must willingly accept their apology and forgive them. There could be situations where someone may not be willing to accept their fault, and might even feel justified about what they did. In such cases, we can still choose to forgive them from our hearts, so we can be freed from the chains that would otherwise burden us and pull us down. Once we forgive someone, we should never bring up their previous failings in any other conflicting situations we might have with them. Forgiveness is the key to maintaining lasting relationships, and it is never too late to forgive someone and be reconciled back with them.
Let me conclude with this quote by C.S. Lewis, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” Let’s be reminded that if God didn’t forgive us, sinners, heaven would be empty.
