HOW TO OVERCOME DEPRESSION OR DISCOURAGEMENT IN YOUR DEALINGS WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Ornery people tend to attract people who are prone to have low self-esteem. The reasons for this are many and varied, but some people feel secure around a strong leader who gives them a sense of strength, courage and determination. While giving interviews for new students applying to our theological seminary in Nigeria, one applicant named Bello, told our interview panel a story of his failed attempt to join the Nigerian Army. The young man used his brother to take the English language proficiency exam to insure his successful acceptance. After one year in the Army, he heard that the General Officer in Charge of their brigade would be making an inspection of the troops. This particular General always asked the troops under review three questions: First, "How old are you?" Second, How long have you been in the army?" Third, Do you enjoy being in the military?"
Bello knew that his English proficiency was not that good so he decided to memorize the answers to the three questions in advance, in case the General stopped to ask him the questions on the day of inspection. He said to himself on his way to the inspection line, "20 years, Sir." "One year, Sir." "Yes, Sir." He rehearsed the answers to the three questions ahead of time. The big day arrived and after a few minutes the General stood before young private Bello and asked his three questions. Except, on this special day, the General reversed the order of the first two questions. The General said, "How long have you been in the army, soldier?" Bello was too nervous to think, so he said, "20 years, Sir!" The General shook his head and proceeded to the second question. "How old are you soldier?" Bello continued, "One year, Sir!" Then the General became annoyed and shouted at Bello, "Do you think I am a fool?" Bello, did not know what else to say because of his limited English proficiency, so he shouted back, "Yes, Sir!"
Needless, to say, Bello's career in the army was terminated when the officers discovered the truth. Regardless of whatever obstacles we face, the Lord knows how to lift us out of our valleys of despair, deceit, and unfruitfulness. The following suggestions are offered as helpful guidelines for whatever difficulties you might be facing:
1. Depression (Feelings of dejection, sadness, apathy, inertia, difficulty in gaining energy or excitement, fatigue, pessimism, hopelessness, fear, attitudes of worthlessness, hopelessness, loss of interest, inability to experience pleasure, a loss of self-esteem or potential) is experienced by everyone in some degree and at different times in life. N. Kline wrote in the Journal of the American Medical Association (1990:732-40), "More suffering has resulted from depression than from any other single disease affecting mankind." What a different world this would be if people would only magnify their blessings the way they do their troubles.
2. David wrote in Psalm 43 feelings of depression and discouragement, "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, The help of my countenance, and my God." David knew that by taking his focus away from his own troubles and shifting them to the power, purposes, plans, processes, and promises of God, he would be delivered from feelings of gloom. All of us need a faith that will not shrink when washed in the waters of affliction and adversity.
3. When Elijah fled to the wilderness to escape Jezebel he plunged into despondency. He wanted to die and very well could have except for the treatment sent to him from God. Elijah complained to God, I have been zealous for Lord God Almighty, yet the Israelites have rejected your covenant and broken down your altars and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left and now they are trying to kill me too." To which God replied, "Go out and stand on the mountain, but the Lord was not in the earthquake, wind or fire, but then came a gentle whisper. Go back the way you came… I reserved seven thousand in Israel whose knees have not bowed down to Baal." (I Kings 19) God speaks to us quietly through our times of prayer and Bible study. God's Spirit encourages, directs, enables, comforts, inspires, instructs, blesses and gives special wisdom through His word. Psalm 42:11 says, "O my soul, don't be discouraged. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise Him for all that he will do. He is my help! He is my God!" How would most people know if their faith is weak or strong unless it has been tested? When we do what we can, God will do what we cannot!
4. Even Jesus experienced discouragement in the garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26:37-42 where He said to His disciples, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me. Going a little farther he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'" Jesus knew that trials, troubles, and temptations would come to test His faith. He was tempted in all points like us, yet He was without sin. Jesus never wavered with unbelief. He was fully persuaded that God would allow Him to triumph over any problem, person, or power! Yet, Jesus learned obedience through the things that He suffered. (Hebrews 5:8) Prayer gives strength to the weak, faith to the fainthearted and courage to the fearful. It is not your position that makes you happy or unhappy. It is ultimately your disposition!
5. Job experienced such awful troubles that he nearly despaired of life. His wife said, "Curse God and die" (Implying that then his human sufferings would end, as well as her own). Instead, Job refused to give in to mis-beliefs. No one is immune to adversity. Hardships come for reasons beyond our human understanding. Job finally realized that his self-righteous attitudes were wrong. The Lord helped him grow in faith, love, maturity, wisdom, and influence through his trials. At the end of Job's life in Job 42:1,2, He said, "Now Lord, I know you can do all things (Including taking me through difficult times for reasons that only you know) and that no purpose of Yours (Not necessarily the ones that I understand or agree with) can be thwarted." Our choice in life is simple - stand up and be counted for God or lie down and be counted out!
6. Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet who constantly struggled with depression, discouragement and feelings of hopelessness. He was a man given to introspective self-analysis and negative questioning about the reasons for all the suffering he saw. He never married nor had children when most people around him did. People thought he was strange. Jeremiah's primary ministry was to speak as a prophet to people who were rebellious, indifferent, and disobedient to God. Being a timid man, he experienced numerous bouts with rejection, depression, and ridicule. All of this added to the fact that he lived at a time when enemies continually oppressed his people. Still, he was faithful to deliver God's words of judgment to the people of Israel. He saw God as the all-powerful for whom nothing is too difficult (Jer. 32:17-25). We cannot measure our success in human terms. Love the Lord with all your heart and leave the results to God! Of all human emotions, love is the strongest, for it affects simultaneously the head, the heart and all the senses!
7. Paul, the apostle often struggled with discouragement. He said, "Through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as imposters, known yet regarded as unknown; dying and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything." (2 Cor. 6:8-10). Paul's hardships demonstrated how God's strength was made perfect in Paul's weakness. Paul learned to see the good in every hardship. The great apostle knew that the Lord was using each circumstance to transform him into the image of Jesus Christ. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
8. Peter experienced deep discouragement in his days of ministry. In Luke 5:8 the Bible says, "When Simon Peter saw this (the miracle of the great catch of fish so much that the fishermen's nets began to break and their boat started to sink) he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord. I am a sinful man!" Jesus encouraged Simon by saying, "Don't be afraid, from now on you will catch men." The true measure of a person is the height of their ideals, the breadth of their sympathy, the depth of their convictions, and the endurance of their love!
