Some of the worlds great love letters were written to mystery
women. As a rising literary star Guy de Maupassant received a
charming and flattering letter from Marie, an admirer. He was
curious and wrote back, and they carried on a lengthy
correspondence. He tried hard to get her to reveal herself, but she
never did. All his love letters were written to a woman he never met.
That was more mystery than he desired.
Believe it or not, a similar thing happened to the great composer
Tchaikovsky, but he did know the identity of his lover. For 13 years
he and Nadejda van Meck carried on an intimate correspondence.
Their letters are filled with love, but they never met. He died at age 53
murmuring the Nadejda. She remained a mystery woman.
Beethoven, another musical genius, who never married, left
behind three short love letters he addressed to my Immortal
Beloved. In them he longs to fly into her arms and be at home. He
wrote, "Oh, God! Why is it necessary to part from one whom one so
loves." He urges her to be his true and only treasure, and laments
that words cannot convey all his heart longs to say. The mystery is,
nobody knows to whom he wrote these letters, for they were in his
cash box when he died. They had never been mailed. The lady he so
loved remains a mystery woman.
Now we come to this little letter in the Bible, and behold, we are
faced again with another mystery woman. The elect lady whom the
apostle John loved in the truth is a mystery woman. Nobody knows
just who this woman was. There are theories GALORE, but none of
them remove the veil of mystery. We will have to wait until heaven
to get full light on this, the only woman in all of history to have one
of her letters become a part of God's inspired Word for the guidance
of His people. There are women who have books of the Bible
written about them: Ruth and Esther, but she stands alone as the
only woman with a book of Scripture written to her.
Matthew Henry, the great commentator, wrote, "Here we find a
canonical Epistle not only to a single person, but to one also of the
softer sex. And why not one of that sex? In Gospel-redemption,
privilege and dignity, there is neither male nor female, they are both
one in Christ Jesus." But the fact is, she is unique, and stands alone.
No wonder scholars have racked their brain for centuries trying to
figure out who this lady was. We will look briefly at the guesses of
men on this mystery woman before we look at the message to her,
which is no mystery at all.
I. Some feel this mystery woman was none other than Mary the mother
of Jesus. John, you recall, took Mary from the cross to his
own home to care for her. In his travels it makes sense that John
would write back home to her. She would also be a very hospitable
person, like this mystery woman was, for she never forgot the
hospitality she needed the night Jesus was born.
The theory has appeal, but it is not likely, for John would hardly
have to warn Mary about being deceived by one who denies that
Christ has come in the flesh.
II. Some feel it is not, "elect lady," but "Lady Electe", Electe
being her name. This has been found to be a female name. The
problem is, the word is used again in verse 13 for her elect sister,
and it is not likely for two sisters to both be named Electe.
III. The most powerful arguments for the idea that she is not a
specific woman at all, but rather a church, and her children are the
members of the church. Her elect sister being a sister church, where
John is visiting. This theory is widely held, and there is no good
reason it could not be true.
IV. I chose to join the majority that I have read, and take it
simply as it seems to be-a personal letter to a lady friend of John,
just as third John is a personal letter to a male friend.
One thing is clear, she was a lady. It is very rare for a woman to
be called a lady in the Bible. The word is used only six times in the
entire Bible. Two of them are right here in this little letter. All four
of the others are in the Old Testament, and two of them refer to
groups of ladies, and the other two are used symbolically of a city,
and so the mystery lady of our text is the only the specific woman in
all of God's word to be called a lady. Again, she is unique, and
stands alone as one of a kind. The word lady has always been used
to designate a distinguished woman; one of greater than average
dignity. In England men of dignity are called lord so and so, and
women of dignity are called lady so and so. This makes many
speculate that she must have been a wealthy widow. All we know
for sure is that she is a mystery woman. But we do know quite a bit
about her from this letter, and so let's consider her first as-
I. A LOVED LADY.
The very first verse tells us she was loved by God. She was the
elect lady, that is one chosen by God. She was loved by the Apostle
John, and then, as if that was not enough to satisfy her, John tells
her she is loved by all who know the truth-that is, all believers. She
is also loved by her children. When it comes to being loved she had
quality and quantity. To be loved by all Christians is very near to
impossible, for they have a great variety of convictions, life-style,
and theology. Things were not so complex in the first century, but
the fact remains you have to be some kind of a woman to have this
said of you, that you are loved by all who know the truth.
This is a statement that cannot be pushed to an absolute. After
all, many who knew the truth did not know this elect lady, and many
who did likely only knew her superficially. John could not know
whether or not some of the ladies envied her for her gifts, or
whether or not some of the men resented her influence. I think it
would be safe to say no one is loved by all, for not even the perfect
man, the Lord Jesus, who loved all, was loved by all. John is not
giving us a statistic here as much as a compliment. He did not
interview the whole Christian community on how they felt about this
lady.
What we can assume is that this elect lady was of such a sweet
and likable personality that to know her was to love her. If you did
not, the problem was likely in you. She was loved because she was
lovable. She was a kind of woman who made people feel good to be
in her presence. It was always a pleasant experience to share her
company. John could hardly get motivated to write to her, because
it seemed so cold and empty compared to face to face conversation.
He anticipated the joy they would share when he would see her in
person. She had charisma.
It is not hard to figure out why this mystery woman was loved. It
is no mystery at all. Show me any woman who makes others joyful,
and I'll show you a woman who is loved. It is human nature to love
what is pleasant and enjoyable, and it's God's nature as well. This
woman had problems like everybody else. She seems to be widowed,
and, therefore, has gone through deep grief. John says that only
some of her children follow the truth, and so the door is opened to
suspect she had borne the sorrow of seeing some of her children
rebel. She dwells in no ivory tower above the rest of us, but lives in
the real world of struggle. Yet she is not sour and bitter with life,
and anxious to complain and pour cold water on life's laughter.
Those who chose a negative response to life are not pleasant
people to be with. They may be tolerated, but they are not loved. I
have known women to go both ways. I think of one elderly woman
who made everyone cringe when they answered the phone and
heard her voice. They already knew the world was rotten, and did
not need another dissertation on the diseases on a sick society. Her
mind was locked into the negative. It was not that what she said was
false, it is just that it was tiresome and discouraging to devote all
your time to dissecting the depravity of man. She was Godly in her
faith, but her personality was not appealing and attractive, and she
was not loved.
On the other hand, I think of another woman who was old and
feeble, and who had lost her husband and a child in death. She had
endured deep sorrow. Yet when I visited her I would come away
feeling life is so full of beauty. She wrote poetry until her crippled
hands could hold the pen any longer. She read inspiring books, and
loved to talk of the joys of life.
One of these women you dreaded to see face to face. The other
you delighted to see face to face. Both were Christians, but both
were not equally treasured as company. You might object that
Christians are to love all in the family equally. This is true, but this
does not mean you will enjoy the presence of all equally. There are
different levels of love. John was known as a disciple whom Jesus
loved. Jesus loved all of His disciples, even Judas, but we need to
grasp this distinction in love. John was a more enjoyable person to
be with than others of the disciples. Jesus, in His humanity, enjoyed
being with people who were pleasant, and who gave life a lift.
John, no doubt, had a good sense of humor, and this goes for the
mystery lady as well. I can just hear John saying to this lady, "Jesus
would have loved you, for He enjoyed life the way you do, and He
would have had a good time in your company, just as I do."
John knew Jesus in a unique way, and knew from experience that
Jesus enjoyed the presence of certain people more than others. He
loved to go to the home of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, because He
enjoyed their company. This elect lady did this for John. She was
just an enjoyable person to be with. Most everyone else felt the
same way, and so we can conclude, she was loved because she was
loving. She cared for other people and made a point of making them
feel comfortable. She obviously had the gift of hospitality, for John
has to warn her about taking in false teachers. In other words, she
was so open and friendly to all that she could be easily taken
advantage of by those deceivers.
Every positive personality trait can be used for evil if it is not
kept in balance. The forces of evil are not without cleverness, and
they can see how the very virtues of a Christian can be used to their
advantage. This loving lady could be used to support their very
work of undermining the Gospel and the church in her area. Do not
assume that Christian virtues cannot be abused. The fact is, our
greatest strength is often our greatest weakness as well. This loving
lady's willingness to open her home to all in love could be the very
means by which the enemies of love could gain a foothold in her
community.
What this means is, the Christian must sometimes choose to act
contrary to their nature, even when it is a beautiful nature. The
loving Christian must sometimes become intolerant and refuse the
very hospitality it has become a custom to offer.
This flexibility to act opposite of your usual nature is not a sign of
inconsistency, but a sign of one's loyalty to truth. Loyalty to the
truth demands inconsistency in the Christian. This is a paradox, but
we see it in Jesus when he became very intolerant of the Pharisees.
If you are always consistent and love all, even when they use you for
evil ends, your love becomes a tool for the anti-Christ.
Keeping this balance in mind, the fact remains that a Christian
who desires to be loved by all must be a person who creates an
atmosphere of joy. Eugenia Price tells women in her book, A
Woman's Choice, that we are all little creators. We have the power
to create, "Friction or peace, rest or strain, reality or phoniness in
our environment." She asks this series of questions, "What kind of
vibrations does your personality set up in your home? In the office
where you work? In Church? There is no possible chance of our
being neutral here. We all "create" an atmosphere around us, and
this atmosphere which we create is the "world" in which we expect
our loved ones, our friends and associates, to live. How are the
living conditions around you?" In other words, how many of us
could John write to and say, "You are loved by all who know the
truth." The second thing we see about this mystery lady is that she
was-
II. A LOYAL LADY.
She was loyal to the truth, and saw to it that her children were
likewise loyal to the truth. Here was a woman who knew that
Christianity was a matter of the mind, and not just a matter of
feeling. A couple was leaving the church when the wife asked, "Did
you see that new purple coat Mrs. Lampert was wearing?" "I'm
afraid not" the husband replied. "What did you think of that
orange velvet dress that Mrs. Frauley was wearing?" she asked. "I
didn't notice that either" he said. "Oh, for goodness sakes," she
snapped, "A lot of good it does you to go to church."
Truth is not always the main objective of those who go to church,
but it ought to be. To know God and His word, and, thus, His will,
is to be the goal of our search as Christians. All other goals are to be
secondary to this if we are to be loyal believers.
Loyalty to the truth is loyalty to God, for they are one. Jesus said
He was the Truth, and, therefore, the words of Emily Dickinson are
accurate theology.
Truth is as old as God,
His twin identity-
And will endure as long as He,
A coeternity.
Truth is one of the key words of this letter, for John uses it five times
in the first four verses. Love and truth are inseparably linked like
Babe and Ruth. The Christian who emphasizes one at the expense
of the other, will lose the balance necessary to be a wise Christian.
Love without truth leads to license. It becomes an emotion that
can be used by evil. The Christian who is all love becomes one the
world takes advantage of, for they are open to abuse. Truth without
love leads to legalism. Most of the tragedies of Christian history
have been due to Christians who fought fiercely for the truth
without regard for the consequences. If people did not explain the
Trinity properly, they were burned at the stake. Many Christians
died at the hands of other Christians whose loveless loyalty to the
truth made them more unchristlike than the Pharisees.
The Christian has no more business separating love and truth
than he has in cutting his coins in half, and separating heads and
tails. They are one, and belong together, for neither can be what it is
meant to be without the other. Dr. Graham Scroggie said, "To walk
only in love would make us soft; to walk only in truth would make
us hard; but walking in truth and love we become strong." All the
dangers and risks of love are prevented by loyalty to the truth, and
all the hardness and cruelty of truth are prevented by love.
As I see it, the primary purpose of this letter is to help this
mystery woman maintain the balance of these two basic ingredients
in the ideal Christian life-love and truth. Thank God for this
mystery woman, for because of her we have this simple letter that
can help us all maintain the balance of love and truth. Get these two
out of balance, and you have opened the door to the subtle serpent
who will use your very virtues for the cause of evil. John is telling
this mystery woman to beware of the deceiver who denies that Jesus
has come in the flesh. They cannot be loved in the truth. They are
not one in Christ, but are anti-christ, and, therefore, her loyalty to
the truth demands that she not support them with her hospitality.
Loyalty to the truth demands that we refuse to give aid to those
who goal is to undermine the truth. John has confidence that this
mystery lady can easily see this, and not let heretics rob her of the
aid that is needed for the proclaiming of the truth. History is filled
with many a godly widow who has been sweet talked into
supporting religious deceivers. It started in the first century, and it
goes on yet today. Men who profess to be Christian evangelists seek
the support of loving hospitable widows, and they get it. This love
letter of John, no doubt, spared the mystery lady from this
embarrassment, but one wonders how often the millions of godly
widows in this world ever read this letter and respond by
investigating those they support by asking them where they stand on
Christ.
The goal of every Christian is to be like this mystery woman. We
are to combine being loving and loved with a loyalty to the truth in
Christ. This balance life will make us pleasant company to both
God and man.
