Timothy Eaton became the most successful business man in the history of Canada by the simple
virtue of courtesy. Back in 1869, when he started his first store, he instituted a new policy. In those
days a customer was almost compelled to buy something. He was coaxed and implored, and even
bullied, and insulted, if need be, to make a purchase. If he did get out of the store without one, he
was made to feel like a whipped dog running away. Timothy Eaton said, "No more of this nonsense."
His clerks would be courteous, and let the customer shop and buy what he was convinced he wanted,
and without pressure.
This new idea went over so well that his store was soon the busiest place in town, and before long
he was building factories to supply his stores. He built branches all over Canada, and when he died
in 1907, he was respected the world over. He had to have other virtues as well, but courtesy was one
of the keys to his secular success. Courtesy is a secular word that never quite got converted into a
sacred word. The result is, we seldom deal with it as a Christian virtue.
It was a royal virtue to the ancient Greeks. It meant, to be friendly minded. Kings were expected
to be friendly to their subjects. The Athenians considered it a virtue that should characterize every
man. The Emperor Julian, who was greatly influenced by Christians, exalted courtesy to the highest
level in government. He taught that politics and laws were to governed by this virtue.
The fact is, the New Testament is weak in promoting this virtue. The only two people in the New
Testament who are described as being courteous are pagans. In Acts 27:3, the Roman Centurion,
guarding Paul on the way to Rome, showed courtesy to Paul by letting him visit his friends. In Acts
28:7, the pagan chief Publius was courteous to Paul, and the others who shipwrecked on his island.
Being courteous just means being nice to people, and giving them a hand in time of need, and
showing them respect as human beings. It is a basic secular and humanistic virtue. Nobody has to be
a Christian to be courteous. Anybody can be, and almost everybody is, to some degree, and so it is a
virtue greatly neglected by Christians. It is the Apostle Paul who rescues this virtue from the domain
of the secular, and brings it into the realm of the Christian life. He does it, first of all, by making it a
virtue of God. In Titus 3:4 he uses the Greek word philanthropy, the same word used to describe the
pagans courtesy to him, to describe God's love and kindness to sinful men. This is the only place in
the Bible the word is used of God, but once is enough. God is courteous, or friendly minded toward
men.
That alone puts courtesy on the theological map, but the most powerful witness of Paul to the
value and validity of courtesy as a Christian virtue is his personal practice of it. There is good reason
that Paul was treated courteously by pagans. He was reaping what he sowed. Paul could very well
have another honor added to his impressive record. He could be considered the most courteous man
in the New Testament, next to his Lord.
We know he got this courteous spirit from Christ, for he was anything but courteous before his
conversion. He threw women, as well as men, into prison, and did not hesitate to approve the stoning
of an innocent man like Stephen. The opposite of courteous is rude, rough, overbearing, and
tyrannical, which fits Saul of Tarsus to a T. But look at Paul now, in his A D spirit, that is, after
Damascus. He displays a level of courtesy that rises above the secular level. Paul gives us a
demonstration of Christian courtesy. He exhibits this virtue in three ways. First of all-
I. BY HIS COURTEOUS ADDRESS.
Paul actually addresses this mob with the respectable titles of brothers and fathers. These are the
same two words he uses all through the New Testament as terms of respect. Keep in mind, they had
just minutes before tried to reduce the population of Jerusalem by one, and he was the one. They
were trying to beat the life out of him. It was no brotherly fight, or fatherly discipline. They wanted
to murder Paul on the spot. Yet we do not hear Paul shouting at them, "You lame-brain idiots, you
madmen!" Instead, he says, "Brothers and fathers," and he says it in their tongue of Aramaic, and the
crowd is shocked into silence. They had to be surprised by both his attitude and his Aramaic. He
was addressing them like they were not his deadly enemies.
I read of a pastor who was asked to inform a man in his congregation, with a heart condition, that
he had just inherited a million dollars. Everyone was afraid the shock would cause a heart attack and
kill him. The pastor diplomatically approached the subject from a hypothetical point of view. He
said, "Joe, what would you do if you inherited a million dollars?" Joe said, "Well, pastor, I think I
would give half of it to the church." The pastor fell over dead of a heart attack.
This mad mob did not fall over dead, but there deafening noise died down so Paul could be heard.
He went on to address them in a friendly minded or courteous manner. Why? First of all, because it
was a principle Paul lived by. He taught it to others, and he did it himself. He wrote in Col. 4:6, "Let
your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer
every man." Words are like food, and a little salt makes them more enjoyable, and people will
swallow them easier. Courtesy is just common sense. If you talk to others with respect and kindness,
they will listen with the same spirit. If you blast them with a critical spirit, you will get the same in
return.
Paul proves it here by getting the most hostile audience a speaker ever addressed to quiet down
and give him a hearing. A hearing, by the way, that has gone around the world, and through the
centuries. Because these hot heads were quiet for a few minutes, you and I, and millions of others,
have studied these words they permitted Paul to speak. Such as the power of courtesy. We see Paul
displaying this virtue over and over again, as he relates to the authorities.
He addresses the Sanhedrin in chapter 23 as, "My brothers." He does not shout at the Roman
soldiers, who are about to flog him, "You numskulls." He simply, and very politely, asks, "Is it legal
for you to flog a Roman citizen?" Paul shows nothing but courteous respect for Felix, Festus, and
Agrippa, who sat in judgment on him. The point is, Paul did not just write in his great love chapter,
that love is patient, love is kind, love is not rude, is not easily angered, but he demonstrated that love
by revealing how it works in relation to real people who are not easy to love.
Paul was not only acting on a principle he lived by, he was motivated to be curious, kind, tactful,
diplomatic, and just generally friendly minded, because he sincerely loved people. He was not
interested in revenge, and getting even with the Jews. His goal was not self-defense for his own sake.
He was not concerned about his reputation, but about their redemption. If he did not care about these
people, he would have walked away, or gotten into a verbal bout, and called them names, and told
them to go to the devil. But Paul is courteous, and addresses them with respect, because he wants
them to understand that Jesus is their Savior.
Paul tells us just how deeply he feels in Romans 9:1-3. "I speak the truth in Christ-I am not lying,
my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit-I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart.
For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those
of my own race, the people of Israel." When you love people as deeply as Paul did, you can treat
them with respect, even if they are killing you. Jesus did this, and prayed, "Father forgive them for
they know not what they do." Stephen did this, and prayed as he was being stoned, "Lord do not hold
this sin against them." So Paul here addresses those who just fought to get close enough to pound the
life out of him, "Brothers and fathers."
It can safely be said, those to whom you cannot be courteous are those for whom you do not care.
If you care, and you love, you can be courteous even to those who hate and despise you. Pagan
courtesy does not rise to this level. This is Christlike, and, therefore, Christian courtesy. But Paul
does not stop with a courteous address. We see that he extends the virtue-
II. BY HIS COURTEOUS ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
Many authors have a preface in which they acknowledge those who helped them achieve their
goal. It is a thoughtful courtesy to others whose labor made their work possible. Paul begins his
defense by acknowledging his Jewish heritage. I am a Jew says Paul, and I was raised in this great
city of Jerusalem, and I was thoroughly trained in the law under one of Israel's greatest teachers,
Gamaliel. Any speaker knows your chances of being heard are greatly improved by building some
common ground between the speaker and the audience. If it is a hostile audience, it is an absolute
necessity.
A tramp, who was nearly starved, stopped by a quiet old English village inn. It bore the classic
name of Inn Of St. George And The Dragon. "Please mam," He asked the lady who came to the
door, "Can you spare me a bite to eat." "A bite to eat," she growled, "For a sorry no good bum, a foul
smelling beggar? No!" She snapped as she slammed the door. He started to walk away, but noted
the sign St. George and the Dragon. He went back and knocked again. "Now what do you want?"
The woman asked angrily. "Well, mam, "he said, "If St. George is in, may I speak to him this time?"
He may have gotten even, but he got no closer to a meal. Courtesy would be a better gimmick than
cleverness.
Paul is not being courteous as a mere gimmick. He loves these people, and he truly loves his
heritage, and he wants to make it clear that his being a Christian does not in any way cause him to
lose respect for his heritage. We can't take the time to explore all of Paul's heritage, but let's just look
at the fact that he is proud he studied under Gamaliel. Gamaliel is worthy of a full sermon. For he
was truly a great man and great teacher, but for this morning we just want to consider his influence
on Paul. Because Paul was trained under the law by this great Jewish scholar, Paul's epistles are
loaded with quotes from the Old Testament. He quotes Moses, David, Solomon, and prophets, more
than he quotes Jesus. Paul was a product of his training, and he carried this heritage into his
Christian life and scholarship. He interpreted the Old Testament as he was trained to do under
Gamaliel.
Because of the bitter hatred between Jews and Christians, the early church fathers had a hard time
with the Old Testament. But because Paul quoted it so often, and used it to defend his teachings, they
were forced to recognize the Old Testament as part of the Christian Bible. The great modern Jewish
scholar, Joseph Klausner, acknowledges that Paul is the Savior of Judaism. We live in a
Judeo-Christian culture because Paul linked the two together so that they can never be separated.
Klausner writes, "Perhaps he did not intend to do this: But the Pharisee, a son of a Pharisee, the
disciple of Rabbi Gamaliel, was so filled and saturated with the Written Law.............that it was
impossible for him not to base his teaching on the Holy Scripture of his people...........from whom he
never to his last days separated himself completely."
Klausner points out that Judaism has survived where the Old Testament is linked to the New
Testament or the Koran, but Judaism died in India, China, and Japan, because the Old Testament did
not maintain it's position of authority. That is why this Jewish scholar, who does not like Paul at all,
says he and his love for his Jewish heritage have been the key to the survival of Judaism.
This is fascinating when you think about it, for Paul loved the Jews, and longed for them to be
saved. Had he not been such a lover of his heritage, and one who incorporated it into his Christian
teaching, there may very well have been no Jews to be saved. Judaism may have been absorbed into
the culture as it was in India, and China. There would be no Jews for Jesus, nor any other group
designed to reach Jews for Christ. Without Paul there may have been no Jews to be reached. Jesus
used Paul to keep Judaism alive so there would always be a ministry to these chosen people.
Because Paul acknowledged his Jewish heritage, Judaism, to this day, acknowledges this great
enemy of theirs, as the probable cause of their continued existence. Such is the power of courtesy in
putting yourself in the same boat with people you are trying to reach. I had this experience several
years back at the Union Gospel Mission. Two Indians came forward to receive Christ. This
motivated me to remember an acknowledge my heritage from the Indians. We were from two
different worlds, and I wanted to assure them that in spite of the radical differences, I still had
something in common with them.
I remembered that my parents had an Indian friend who use to come to the house when I was a
small boy and show me tricks with a rope. I learned to do some of these tricks, and years later show
them to my grandchildren. Then as a teenager witnessing at the country jail in Sioux Falls, South
Dakota, my first convert was an Indian. He was in for man-slaughter. His response to the Gospel
was a compelling factor in my call to the ministry. I have had almost no contact with Indians outside
of these two incidents, but these two influenced my life. They are part of my heritage, and they give
me the opportunity to acknowledge that I have some common ground for communication with
Indians.
The lesson we learn from Paul is, if you love people, seek for that common ground. There is
almost always some way in which you can acknowledge some value in their life that is also a value
in yours, and thus, by this courtesy gain a hearing. The third way we see Paul expressing the virtue
of courtesy is somewhat similar to the second, but it is distinctively different as well, and that is
III. BY HIS COURTEOUS ADMISSION.
Paul goes on from acknowledgment of a common heritage to admission that he was just like them
in their zeal and fanaticism. Paul admits that he hated Christians just as they now hate him. Paul's
approach here is not a holier than thou attitude which says, thank God I was never a hot head like
you murderous maniacs. Paul said instead, "I understand your hostility for I have been filled with it
myself, and my record is clear: I persecuted Christians to the death. I was, not long ago, just where
you are now, and I would have joined you in killing me, for I too hated the followers of Christ."
You cannot go any further than Paul did in identifying with his audience. He was not only in the
same boat, he was in the same shoes, and with the same mind and emotions. Paul does not hate them
for their blindness and rage, for he was just as blind, and his rage was equally brutal, and innocent
people died because of him. He was saved by the grace of God, and now he can do no less for these
blind people than help them to see the light of this grace of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
It is a whole lot easier to be courteous to disgusting people when you admit to yourself and others
that without the grace of God, you would be just like them. There but for the grace of God go I, said
Paul, of these madmen who sought to kill him. Had he said, like the Pharisee in Christ's parable, "I
thank God I am not as other men," then he could have treated them like the dirt they thought he was.
But once Paul could admit that the only difference between them and him was the grace of God, he
had no choice but to have compassion for them. How can you hate and reject people who are just
what you would be if Jesus had not touched you.
You can't treat a bad politician with disrespect if you know that without Christ you would be the
same kind of politician. You can't look down your nose at a prostitute if you know that without
Christ you too could be a prostitute. You can't be discourteous to any sinner if you admit that you
would be just as sinful without the grace of God. Honest admission of just who and what you were,
and what you would be without Christ, is the key to Christian courtesy. You can be nice to anyone
when you realize that the only difference between you is, not your own merit, but the grace of God,
which they too can have freely. This gives you compassion for the worst of people, and enables you
to be kind and courteous in hopes of helping them to open their lives to that grace.
If you cannot be courteous to someone, it is because you have not, like Paul, magnified the grace
of God in your life. The more you become aware that you are what your are by the grace of God, the
more you will be able to be courteous to all people. The reason is, you will be able to admit you are
only different from them by the grace of God. When you see, as Paul saw, you can understand how
he could be so courteous to this mob of murderous men.
Paul shows us that Christianity is not a way of doing special things. It is a special way of doing all
things. It is doing all things for the glory of God. Paul said, "Whatever you do in word or deed,
(even addressing a mob), do it for the glory of God." And that means, do it courteously.
We can have a transforming experience in our view of Paul, just as Chuck Swindoll did, if we see
the spirit of Paul here. Chuck in his book, Improving Your Serve said that he always saw Paul as a
blend of John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and the Hulk. He rammed his way through life like a fully
loaded battleship at sea. He was just too important to worry about little people, or those who got
into his way. But he says, this false impression began to fade as he studied Paul in depth. He
discovered Paul was a warm and caring person whose primary desire was not to lord it over anybody,
but to be a servant to all. Swindoll says, "A true servant stays in touch with the struggles others
experience." Paul really cared for this mad mob, and he really understood there intense intolerance of
him. He courteously admits he was not better himself.
Chuck says he had to learn the power of courtesy from another. Dr. Bruce Waltke, a Semitic
scholar, and he, with two other pastors, were visiting a large Christian Science Church in downtown
Boston. The guide was a woman, and she had no idea they were clergymen. At one point she stated
they did not believe in judgment. Dr. Waltke said, "But mam, doesn't the Bible say it is appointed on
to men once to die but after this the judgment?" The lady did not respond, but said,
"Would you like to see the second floor?" Chuck was saying to himself, "Go for it Bruce. Now you
got her." But Dr. Waltke said, "We surely would. Thank you." She sighed with relief, and they
followed her. Chuck could not believe it, and he later wanted to know why he didn't nail her. Dr.
Waltke said, "It would not have been very loving now, would it?" Chuck was rebuked, and never
forgot the lesson. If you are not courteous to other people, why should they bother to care what you
think? Later on Dr. Waltke had 20 minutes to share Christ with this woman. A chance he never
would have gotten, had he not been courteous.
We do not admire Paul for what he accomplished here, for he apparently accomplished nothing, as
far as the record goes. We admire him for what he was: A beautiful example of Christ-like courtesy.
It is not a highly pushed virtue, nor is there any guarantee it will work, but if you really love people,
and really want to please God, you will practice this seldom promoted virtue. Christ was courteous
to those who crucified Him. Stephen was courteous to those who stoned him. Paul was courteous to
those who sought to kill him. If you are going to judge the worth of courtesy by its fruit, you might
be very disappointed.
None of these examples of friendly minded courtesy had any immediate impact on those to whom
it was addressed. The mob did not change its mind. They shouted that Paul was not fit to live. If
Paul was aiming to illustrate how to win friends and influence people he certainly failed. But Paul's
courtesy, like that of his Lord, was not a gimmick. It was an expression of who he was, and of his
love. It was right whether it paid off or not. The issue is not, does it work, but does it please God.
Right is right whether it works or not.
Beauty is an end in itself, and beautiful behavior, like Paul's, is a work of art which exhibits
Christ-likeness. Emerson said, "A beautiful behavior is better than a beautiful form....It is the finest
of the fine arts." Beauty does not fail. People can fail to respond to it, just as the mob did here. But
Paul's courtesy is still beautiful, and he has left us all with an ideal example of Christian courtesy.
