The problem with cliches is that we forget they are true and relevant because we have
heard them so many times they have lost their cutting edge. "The hand that rocks the
cradle rules the world," is a good example. It is so trite and trivial that it does not even
invoke the response of a sigh or a yawn. We need to be jolted back into an awareness of
the truth of this cliche if we to restore in our minds the place of motherhood in history.
Motherhood has been greatly devalued in our day, and many mothers do not feel a great
sense of self-esteem in being merely mothers.
We need to be reminded again of just how great a role mothers play in history.
Confucius warned about the danger of letting women become equal with men. Women
were put through foot binding in China to make them practical cripples in order to keep
them inferior and submissive. They were given no education, and so they knew no better.
But there was one Chinese mother who rejected this nonsense and refused to put her
daughter through this torture. She was Mrs. Charlie Soong of Shanghi. She and her
husband were Methodists, and long before women's equality was ever an issue in the
minds of millions, they trained their girls to believe it.
The first daughter Elaing became the first girl from China to study in the United
States. When she was a senior, her two sisters Chingling 16, and Mayling 11 came to the
United States. Mayling, the youngest, became the first woman in unofficial capacity to
address the congress of the United States. These three sisters became three of the most
powerful women in history. Elaing married a wealthy man and pioneered the way for
women in China to have the right to accumulate wealth and own property in their own
name. Her husband, H.A. King, started a college, and she became a professor in it. She
gave her life to the service of the poor, and to victims of tragedy.
When Dr. Sun Yat Sen over through the government of China, and became the
founder of the Republic of China in 1912, he asked Eling to be his secretary. Chingling
the number 2 daughter became his second secretary, and they fell in love and were
married. She became the most beloved woman in China. Mayling the number 3
daughter graduated with highest honors, and she went back to China to serve her people
in Christian labor. She worked with the YMCA and the Child Labor Commission. Then
she met the military leader Chaing Kai Shek. He courted her for 5 years, and she finally
consented to marry him. She became the commander of China's air force, and became
the first woman in history to order 20 million dollars worth of planes and parts. Some
called her the greatest woman in the world.
Eling and Mayling were two of the richest women in China, and they used their riches
to build a hospital and staff it to care for thousands of orphans and widows. Chingling
became the vice-premier of the People's Republic of China, and Mayling became the first
lady of China. The three sisters became the key ambassadors that got America to stand
with China with her war with Japan.
The point of all this about one family in the history of China is that it brings to life the
cliche, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." These three sisters did not get
the chance to play such a role in history because they were beautiful and talented. They
got it because they had a mother who said my daughters are going to get an education so
they can play a role in life equal to men. She did it, and they did it. Had she not done it,
they could not have done it. The point is, mothers often determine the potential of their
children by the opportunities they give their children. Mothers need to dream big for
their children.
Joseph was one of the biggest dreamers in the Bible. There are more references to his
and Daniel's dreams than all the rest of Bible characters put together. By means of his
dreams he rose to a point where he, for all practical purposes, ruled the world of his day,
for all depended upon his wisdom for survival in the great famine. In this message we
want to consider the hand that rocked his cradle. Rachel is one of the most lovely and
most loved mothers of the Bible. It is interesting that her story is also a sister story. She
and her sister Leah, a long with their two handmaids, became the mothers of the 12 sons
who became the 12 tribes of Israel. Rachel was just not the mother of 2 famous boys,
Joseph and Benjamin, she was one of the most unique mothers in world history.
You can't call it one big happy family, for there was no end to tension and
competition, but it was a big family. It took 4 mothers to produce this brood of a dozen
boys who changed history for time and eternity. The gates of the New Jerusalem in
heaven will have the names of these 12 boys on them. It was the most important family in
the history of Israel, and Rachel was the most loved of these 4 mothers.
Leah had all the statistics going for her, however. She was the first to be married to
Jacob. It was by trickery as she was substituted for Rachel, but she was first. She was
the first to become a mother, and bare a son for Jacob. She also bore him the most sons.
She was the one laid by his side in death. In this greatest of motherly competitions in the
Bible Leah won, if you go by statistics.
But love doesn't go by statistics, and so Rachel was loved the best, and her children were
Jacob's favorites. As a wife and mother she was number one. She was a winning mother
even though she lost most every competition with her sister. But the fact is the
competition made life very unpleasant for her.
Brenda Hunter wrote a book called Where Have All The Mothers Gone? She
describes the fierce competition the average mom in our society feels with the working
girls. All of the literature screams at her that you had better be a scintillating sexual
partner or else, for waiting in the wings if you let down is the attractive women at work.
She quotes the wife of a pilot who said, "You seldom see pilot's wives who are over
weight. They know that their husbands work with young and attractive stewardesses who
provide keen competition.
Wives and mothers who do not realize they are in competition in our culture often
lose in a game they didn't even know they were playing. But they should know, for the
evidence is everywhere, and even the most godly of men can be enticed by the
competition. The unknown poet said,
Everywhere I look I see
Fact or fiction, life or play,
Still the little game of three,
B and C in love with A.
What we need to see is that the triangle is not new. It was in fact even worse for
Rachel than it is for women today. For her the triangle was built in through polygamy.
She had to compete with her own sister for her husband's love. It was a terrible
competitive pressure. One of the greatest blessings in history for women was the change
from polygamy to monogamy. Alexander the Great married two sisters who were the
daughters of Darius the king of Persia. Nine thousand people were at the wedding as he
took Roxanna and Statira to be his brides. All the wealth and property could not make
this a happy marriage. Roxanna had her sister murdered to eliminate the competition.
We do not see this kind of solution in Jacob's home, but it is hard to believe that it was
not considered an option as we look at the enormous pressure this put on Rachel. Let's
look at this pressure, and how often Rachel lost in the competition. First of all, she lost
the numbers game. Leah bore Jacob 6 sons and 1 daughter, but Rachel bore him only 2
sons. Each of their servants bore him 2 sons, and so they canceled each other out in the
numbers game, and Leah won easily. If winning is everything, and if fertility is the
essence of a female's value, then Rachel was a loser. But we know this was not the case.
Jacob loved her in a special way regardless of the score.
The encouragement of this for every wife and mother should be enormous. Being
loved is not the same thing at all as being a winner, or being the most, or the best of
anything. We live in a very statistic oriented world, and the firsts and figures can be a
threat to mothers, or any of us if we think we are losers because we do not measure up to
those who come in first. If your measurements are not as alluring as those of the fashion
model, and your income is not as high as that of the successful executive, does this mean
you are a loser? Not at all. Every wife and mother can still be number one with their
mate and children, and that is what mattered to Rachel. She lost the numbers game, but
she never lost first place in the heart of her mate and family. Rachel reveals you can
even be a multi-loser and still be a winner where it counts.
The second game she lost was the game of life, or the longevity battle. She not only
didn't have as many children, she didn't live as many years. The odds were in her favor,
for she was the youngest of the sisters, but she was the first woman on record to die in
childbirth. She cried, "Give me children or I'll die." She got her way, but the cost was
her life. Answered prayer can be dangerous and even deadly. Rachel experienced the
mother's nightmare, and died before she saw her children raised. This is every mother's
fear, and there is no way that she would escape the question-why me? Again we see that
life is not always fair. Leah, who was forced on Jacob, and was not his choice as a wife,
got to have him all to herself, and she was the one who was laid in the tomb by his side.
She won again, and poor Rachel lost, even though she was the favorite.
There are many lessons here, but one thing is clear, real life is so often unlike the fairy
tale. The best people can lose out on some very important contests. This forces us to
reevaluate the conviction that winning is everything, and that statistics are the key
measurement of life's values. Here is Rachel, the one loved like few have ever been
loved, and yet she is a loser in the statistics race. Leah has more children, and lives much
longer. Which would you rather be? Our head would tell us to choose Leah, for she was
the winner. But our heart tells us to choose Rachel, for she was always the most loved.
The issue is the age old controversy-which is best-quantity or quality. Is it better to live
50 years well, or 90 years mediocre?
History reveals that mothers who have died when their children were young, as
Rachel did, can still have a powerful impact on their lives. Frederick Douglas, a slave
who became famous through his three autobiographies and lectures against slavery, tells
of how he was sold to a plantation owner 12 miles from his mother's plantation. To see
him she had to walk 24 miles, and so it was a rare occasion for him to ever see her. One
time she came and found him being punished by the cook for some offense, and he was
starving because he was not allowed to eat. His mother in fiery indignation let that cook
know she had better never deprive her boy of food again, or she would take the matter to
the master himself.
Douglas reflecting back on that night which was the last time he ever saw his mother
wrote, "That night I learned the fact that I was not only a child, but somebody's child.
The sweet cake my mother gave me was in the shape of a heart, with a rich, dark ring
glazed upon the edge of it. I was victorious and prouder on my mother's knee, than a
king upon his throne." He never saw her again, but the impact of that night never left
him. He was somebody's child. The quantity was so little, but the quality so great,
because in that brief time his mother gave him the self-esteem he needed for life.
Henry Ford gives a lot of credit for his success to his mother, but he did not have her
very long. He writes, "My mother did so many things for me that it is hard to define
them. You know, she died when I was 13 years of age. People often ask me why we keep
our shops immaculately clean. My mother was a great woman for orderliness and
cleanliness. I want my shops to be as clean as my mother's kitchen."
History is filled with moms like Rachel. They lost the longevity race, but they were
still winners where it counts, because they had a quality impact on the lives of those they
loved. John R. Rice lost his mother when he was five, but her memory and her godliness
went with him all his life, and he became one of America's greatest evangelists.
We are still not done with Rachel's losing streak. The third contest she lost was that of
being the blood line to the Messiah. Leah won that one just like the rest, and it was her
son Judah who became the link in that blood line to Christ. The hope and dream of every
woman in Israel was to be the mother of the Messiah, or at least to be a link. Rachel
again lost out to Leah. You begin to wonder why Jacob loved Rachel the best. He must
have been one of those guys who goes for the underdog. But let's not be to hasty in our
conclusion.
The fact is, her son Joseph saved the necks of all his brothers, and so not only did
Judah survive to be the line to the Messiah, but all of Israel survived only because of the
work of God through Rachel's brilliant and godly son who saved most of the known
world of his day from the great famine. What a paradox is Rachel. She lost every
competitive game she played, and yet she was one of the best players of all time, and
leaves the majority of mothers in history a powerful example. You don't have to be a
winner to win. Even so called losers are winners when their desire in life is to be what
God wants them to be. Rachel was loved by Jacob, and though she was never number
one as far as any one could measure, she was number one in his heart. She only had two
sons, but they changed the course of history for Israel and all mankind.
Joseph and Benjamin became two of the most beloved people in Israel. The first king
of Israel came from the tribe of Benjamin, and the Apostle Paul was proud to announce
several times that he was an Israelite from the tribe of Benjamin. It would take us hours
just to study the role of the Benjamites in Bible history. You do not have to be mother of
the year, or mother of the month, or win any title at all to be a mother whom God can use
for His glory. It is a competitive world, but woe to that mother who thinks her
self-esteem is based on her statistical standing. Most mothers are like Rachel. Their
statistics for being winners are not very great, but their status as being loved still makes
them number one with their family.
This message of Rebekah's life is very important for mothers to hear because the
pressure to be the ideal mother can do a great deal of damage. Ideals can be a pain when
they become a burden. Mothers feel the pressure to be a great parent, a great provider,
a great community servant, as well as a homemaker. She must be a great lover, a great
reader, a great supporter of church, social, and political activities. When she is married
to a man who is also trying to be the great father, they will be a couple who are being
killed by ideals. Dr. James Dobson, the leading Christian family counselor, writes, "I
believe more divorces are caused by mutual over commitment by husbands and wives
than all other factors combined. It is the number one marriage killer."
Outstanding and gifted Christian leaders are ruining their marriages and families at
an alarming rate because they have swallowed our secular cultures value system that says
winning is everything. You have got to be high on the statistical charts to be a successful
Christian. They give their all to be winners on that level, and the result is they lose out
on the level of love. They forget that love is not based on statistics. God does not love
conditioned upon our standing in some competitive race, nor does anyone else who really
loves us. True love is unconditional, and it does not have to be won by statistics.
The success of motherhood is not determined by an impersonal score sheet and
statistics, but by a personal relationship. This puts every mother on an equal footing.
There are vast differences in gifts, energy, and personality that make for a vast diversity
of levels in the realm of competition. But all mothers are equal in their chance to be
loving mothers. What the children of this world need is not successful mothers, celebrity
mothers, or high achiever mothers. What they need is mothers who are loving mothers
who have the adoration of their children's father. That is what Rachel had going for her,
and that is the best description I know of for a winning mother.
Rachel was always number one in the eyes of her husband, and that is a key to being a
winning mother. Everything you read supports this that the best thing a mother can do
for her children is to love their father. It is the best training you can give your children
for their own happy marriage. The great mothers of the Bible and of history were
women who loved and were loved by their husbands. I think Lavonne was a good
mother, not just because she loved the children and they knew it, but because she loved
me and they knew it. They have had the best training in love you can get, and that is a
mother's example.
Rachel's whole life revolved around her family. This cannot be the limited focus of
millions of working wives in our day, but the fact is, a truly successful wife and mother
must focus on the family. That must still be a priority whatever the other pressures of
life. It is granted that back in the old days men took advantage of women who were full
time housewives, and they did not share in the burden of raising the family. Martin
Luther depended on his wife to do absolutely everything in the home. Once he was on a
trip and wrote a letter to his wife. He wrote, "I can't find any suitable presents for the
children in this town, although it is annual fair. See if you can dig up something at home
for me to give them." Many of us can identify with Luther. It is great to pass the buck
when you have a wife who will fall for it. Modern wives are not so easily fooled, for they
too are busy.
The fact remains that mothers will still, in the majority of cases, be the emotional
heart of the family. Her love for dad will still be a major factor in the emotional balance
of her children. Every text I have ever preached on for Mother's Day leads to the same
conclusion, and that is that a good mother must be first of all a good wife. She must
convey to her children a sense of love and security that a child can only get when they
know that mom loves dad. Deprive them of this, and you are robbing your child of one of
the pillars of a solid life.
There are a lot of questions about Rachel. We do not have a record of any noble
achievement, or of any high aspiration of this woman. She was a beauty, but that is a gift.
There is nothing in her character or conduct that is worthy of holding up as a great
example. If you are looking at her life for tips on successful living, you will find there are
more negatives than positives. She had envy for her sister. We see her nagging her
husband, and stealing from her father. As an ethical guide she was a loser again. But the
Bible does not portray her life because she was the ideal anything. Rachel was just a
woman who was loved by Jacob, and gave birth to two sons. She was no different than
millions of other wives and mothers.
But we have this fascinating insight into her love for her husband Jacob. He loved her
so much that working for 7 years to win the right to marry her seemed like only a few
days. She so loved him in return that when Joseph was born she gave him that name
because it means may he add. Her prayer was may the Lord add to me another son. Her
main goal in life was to make Jacob happy twice. She died doing it, but it was her goal.
I read of a poor little English girl who had gone to school without breakfast. Her
mother was a destitute widow. A kind gentleman seeing her plight gave her a shilling.
She went and changed it into two sixpenny pieces before going home. She gave her
mother one as soon as she got home, and then a little later she gave her the other one.
"Why did you split the gift in two parts," her mother asked?
"Because," she said, "I wanted to make you happy twice." That was what Rachel longed
to do. It may not seem like much of an ideal to follow, but ask Jacob if he loved such a
wife, and ask Joseph if he loved such a mother. Rachel was no big deal in so many ways,
but she was loved by her husband and children, and no wife and mother can aim higher,
for this, and this alone, can qualify a woman to be considered a winning mother.
