Nathan Ausabel tells of the Jewish couple with 9 children who went to the Rabbi to get a
divorce. When the question of custody came up the wife said she wanted 5 of the children
and he could have 4. The husband said, "Why should I have only 4? You take the 4 and
I'll take the 5." In order to resolve the conflict the Rabbi suggested that they live
together one more year and have another child. Then they could divide with an equal
share of the family. The couple agreed to the plan. But a year later the man came back
to the Rabbi and said the plan did not work. The Rabbi asked, "Why? Didn't your wife
give birth?" "Yes," he said, "But you see, it was twins." They were right back where
they started, and even Solomon in all his wisdom could not divide an odd number of
children evenly.
Twins can be a problem. Luis Palau, the Billy Graham of South America, was
worried sick when his wife gave birth to twins in 1963. The doctor told him there was a
very strange heart beat and they may loose the child. They did not know she had two
babies in her. Palau had to make the decision that if necessary they let the baby die to
save his wife, but it turned out to be a day of joy as the irregular heartbeat was really the
regular heartbeat of two. What a scare these twins gave him. Twins have scared people
all through history, and in many cultures they have been immediately killed. Christian
missionaries have labored hard to convince natives that twins are not an evil omen, and
today there are many healthy twins where once they were killed.
This does not mean that twins are no longer a problem. They are often double
trouble, and because of their potential for mischief Walt Disney has been able to make
some of his greatest movies about mischievous twins. It is not all fiction either, for there
are numerous true stories about the complexity of raising twins. One mother heard both
laughing and crying coming from her twin's bedroom at bath time. She went to see what
was the matter and the laughing twin pointed to his weeping brother and said, "Grandma
has given Alexander 2 baths and hasn't given me any at all."
The problems get greater as they get older. Jean and Auguste Piccard, the famous
Swiss twins, decided to have some fun with a barber. Jean went in for a shave and
complained that he had the most annoying beard in the world because it grew back so
fast. The barber assured him that his trusty razor would keep it off for 24 hours or he
would shave him free. Jean let him scrape away and left. Several hours later Auguste
came in with a heavy stubble and collected his free shave. He left the barber pondering
the most amazing beard he had ever seen.
The reason I share these twin stories is because we are looking at the mother of the
most famous twins of the Bible. Rebekah was the mother of Jacob and Esau. These two
brothers were as different as night and day. They had the same parents and the same
environment, but they were opposites and totally different in personality, and in the way
they responded to the will of God. It is superficial to expect all children in a family to be
alike. Even in a godly family there will be radical differences. I once had a family in my
church where the best kids and the worst kids were from that same family. Two of them
ended up in the ministry and another broke the parents hearts with unbelievable
ungodliness. This can be tough on parents, but it has to be accepted as a fact of life that
the best parents have no guarantee that their children will follow their values.
Rebekah was a great mother, but her twins sometimes became as famous for their
folly as for their faith. Some twins become much alike for all of life. The most famous
example in our time is Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren. They are both famous
counselors, and their advice columns are very much alike. Other twins do not follow the
same pattern at all. One of the 12 Apostles was a twin. Thomas called Didymus was a
twin. Didymus is Greek for twin, and Thomas means twin in Aramic. We have no idea
about his twin. He may have been an enemy of Christ for all we know. Twins can be
opposites and that is what we see in the twins of Rebekah. They were opponents.
Rebekah favored Jacob and her husband favored Esau, but in the end mom's boy
became the man God used. Mothers often are the key persons in determining the success
of their children. Rebekah Bains Johnson, whose grandfather was a Baptist pastor, and
who came from a long line of pastors going back to Scotland, was determined to make
her son a great politician. Her father was a politician and she married a politician, and
she dreamed that her son could be a great one. She had 4 other children, but she favored
Lyndon and pounded it into him that he was destined for leadership. She kept him
reading the books and writings of Thomas Jefferson. She guided him through college
and on to Washington, and eventually to become the 35th President of the United States.
Like the Rebekah of the Bible she was obsessed by her need to favor one son and do
all she could to promote him. This led to her other son, Sam Houston Johnson, being
hurt. He worked for Lyndon and went to law school, but he never practiced. He never
got equal time and encouragement from his mother, and that made a world of difference
in their careers. A mother motivating her children makes a world of difference. We
want to look at Rebekah as a mother, and try to learn from lessons from her life.
I. HER MARRIAGE.
Ideal motherhood always begins with being a good mate. We have looked at this
theme before and have concluded that the best thing any mother can do for her children
is to love their father, just as the best thing a father can do is love their mother.
Marriage comes before children, and it is the foundation that must be well laid before the
family is built upon it. In spite of Rebekah's deception of Isaac we have to recognize she
was one of the most loved wives in the Bible. Isaac is the only one of the Patriarchs who
did not take a second wife or a concubine. In a culture where polygamy was perfectly
acceptable Isaac was a one-woman man. Rebekah had to be some kind of woman to keep
a man a monogamist in that day. He never saw Rebekah until the day he met her and
married her, but from that day he loved her, and only her, for the rest of his life. She
also was faithful to him for all of her life.
Here was a couple who had the world's shortest wedding. Gen. 24:67 says, "Isaac
brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became
his wife, and he loved her..." Here was a primitive wedding without benefit of clergy or
premarital counseling. There was no courtship and no vows are recorded, and yet they
made a commitment for a lifetime. The old system of arranged marriages could work
because people were committed to love the one they married. They did not fall in love
and then get married, but they married and then grew in love.
The modern idea of selecting a mate by the computer is not as far fetched as it may
seem. If two people are brought together with all of the values and qualities that each
likes, and they are willing to make the commitment of the ancients to love the one they
married, these could turn out to be marvelous mates. The odds are better than the
superficial way many do it now. They feel sexual attraction, and their only commitment
is to keep their relationship going as long as their hormones keeps pushing them in that
direction. We could learn from the ancients that the most important commitment on the
human level is to love the one you marry. I've never met a couple who has so many
problems that they could not be solved by this single principle.
Isaac loved Rebekah in spite of the problems they had. The first problem was that
she was barren. For 20 years Isaac waited for her to have a child. The culture left him
free to take another wife, but he never did. He waited and prayed, and God finally
answered that prayer, and Rebekah became a mother. They are the only couple in the
Bible who are caught making love in public. Gen. 26:8 says that King Abimelech looked
down from a window and saw Isaac sporting with Rebekah. We know this does not mean
they were playing tennis. Isaac was caressing and fondling Rebekah, and that is how the
king knew she was not his sister, but his wife.
The point is, Rebekah was a fun and loving partner. Abraham and Sarah had their
fights over Hagar and Ishmael. Jacob and Rachel had their fights over Leah. But in
spite of Rebekah's deceit of Isaac there is not one word of dispute between them. They
had one of the most ideal marriages in the Bible, and possibly the most ideal. We need to
keep her marriage in mind when we look at the negative action of her deceit. She did
what she did in all good conscience. It was not to do any harm to her husband, but to
assure that the son that she knew was most worthy would be blest. God confirmed her
choice and blest Jacob. It seems that mothers tend to have a degree of insight into the
spiritual potential of their children. Abraham leaned toward Ishmael and Isaac leaned
toward Esau, but the mothers chose Isaac and Jacob, and these were the two that God
chose to be in line to the Messiah. Mother's and God seem to be on the same wavelength.
Father's look for the more macho type, but mothers look for the spirit that is more
willing to follow God's leading.
I have to admit that until I looked at Rebekah through the eyes of Isaac I had some
negative feelings about her. I had the same feeling I had toward the wife of Job until I
discovered that Job loved her in spite of her faults, and stuck by her, and did not demean
her. So also, we see that Isaac has not a bad word for his wife, and that is the final
authority in judging a wife. If Isaac loved her and treated her like a queen, then it really
does not matter what I think. She was a good wife, and that is where ideal motherhood
begins. Being a good wife starts before marriage. Rebekah as a young woman was
enthusiastic about serving the needs of others. Motherhood and servant-hood are linked
as one. We see her serving spirit when Abraham's servant came looking for a wife for
Isaac. She was the one who volunteered to draw water for his camels. That was the sign
that she was God's choice for a good wife. Find a girl who cares about kindness and
helpfulness and you are on the right track to a good marriage and good motherhood.
Tally Rand said of a young lady of the court, "She is intolerable, but that is her only
fault." Mark Twain once saw a mother with young twins and said, "This one is a girl isn't
it?" She replied, "Yes." Twain said, "And is the other one of the contrary sex?" The
mother replied, "Yes, she's a girl too." Rebekah was not a contrary person. She took
opposite sides from Isaac from which twin was to be favored, but as we will see this was
not a serious conflict with Isaac. He found Rebekah to be a marvelous wife, and he was a
happy man in his marriage. He considered Rebekah a marvelous mother. So let's go
from her marriage relationship and look more carefully at-
II. HER MOTHERHOOD.
Rebekah was a good wife and a good mother, but one of the facts of life is that good
mothers do not necessarily have good children. Her first-born was Esau, and he married
a couple of Hittite women. Gen. 26:35 says, "They were a source of grief to Isaac and
Rebekah." Jacob did not marry Hittites, and they were please with him. Isaac had to be
pleased with the clever way Rebekah worked out a plan to give the blessing to Jacob. Has
Esau been the one to inherit the riches of Isaac it would have all gone to the Hittites. But
by her cleverness Rebekah saw to it that it would go to the people of Israel instead.
Sometimes husbands are happy that their wives win in a conflict, for in their hearts they
know the wife is right. This seems to be the case here.
Rebekah still loved her rebel son, and so she sent Jacob away lest he fight with Esau
and she lose both in one day. This is part of motherhood. They have the pain of loving
one who is careless and indifferent to God and His will. Love is the cause of much of the
suffering of the world, for mothers still love those sons who go astray like Esau. It is a
paradox, but it is true that the greatest virtue in life is also the cause of so much pain. If
mothers did not love rebel children, mountains of pain would be eliminated, but the
mountain stands as testimony to the pain of love. If God did not love the rebel race of
mankind, He would not have had to suffer the loss of His Son, and Jesus would not have
had to die on the cross. It was all because God so loved the world. God suffers because
he loves, and so do mothers.
Gipsy Smith was one of the great evangelists in the history of England and America.
He tells of the price his mother paid because she loved her children. His sister was sick
and they called for a doctor. When he examined her he said she had small-pox. He
ordered her to get out of town so it did not spread to others. They set up a tent outside of
town where the mother and 4 other children stayed. They put the sick girl in a wagon 200
yards away. Soon one of the boys got the pox and was sent to live in the wagon. One day
the mother also got the pox. She had to go through great suffering as a mother as she
cared for her sick children while she was sick herself. Her great love made a life long
impression on Gipsy, for he learned that suffering and love go together. If you love
deeply, you will suffer deeply.
The way to escape suffering is to never love, for the more you love the more you
suffer. Just ask Jesus. But what a pathetic world it would be if nobody loved enough to
suffer. Motherhood would not be exalted role as it is if there were no cost to it. It is the
suffering of mother love that makes it the noble thing that it is. Show me a mother who
does not care that her children are rebels, and I will show you a mother, who by her lack
of suffering, is part of the problem, and not part of the answer. Suffering love is the
answer. It is God's answer, and though it does not solve all problems, it has the potential
to do so if rebels will respond to suffering love.
Motherhood is linked to servant-hood, and servant-hood is linked to suffering, and the
result is that good mothering is linked to Christ-likeness. Motherhood incorporates both
the joy and the pain of the cross. Motherhood begins with both the pain of birth and the
joy of new life. Pain and pleasure, burden and blessing are combined in becoming a
mother. Children are also both a pain and a pleasure in the marriage. They can add so
much joy to a couple's life, but they can also add so much pain. Many couples report that
the happiest time in their lives are before children are born and after they grow up and
leave the home. But people go on having children, because they are the greatest potential
for the future. Children give hope that the future can be filled with the blessing of God,
and that is why motherhood is so honored. It is the path by which mankind reaches out
for God's best.
The Israelites were condemned to die in the wilderness, and yet they went on having
children. It was because they knew God had a future for His people, and their children
became the children of God who entered the promised land. Motherhood was the key to
God's plan being fulfilled, and that is why motherhood will always be exalted. Had Isaac
and Rebakah given up after 20 years of trying to have a child, Jacob would not have been
born. And Jacob was the father of the twelve tribes of Israel. He was crucial to God's
plan. They never gave up and endured the pain of it all, but out of that pain of waiting,
and then of motherhood, came the greatest of blessings, and God changed all of history
through them.
Rebekah was an ideal wife and marvelous mother, but that did not mean she was a
hundred percent successful. Esau was a rebel and caused her much grief. But she learned
to concentrate on what she could do for the best results. She focused on being a good wife
and she focused on being a good mother. And this meant she would specialize in seeing
that the full potential of her most likely son would be realized. Nobody can do everything
and no mother can be everything. She has to learn to focus on what she can do and not
become so fragmented in going in all directions. Dr. James Dobson wrote, "I believe
more divorces are caused by mutual over commitment by husbands and wives than all
other factors combined. It is the number one marriage killer."
Good wives and mothers are those who know they cannot do all things, and so they
specialize in doing well what they can do to please their mates and benefit their children.
Let us learn from Rebekah to choose some things we give top priority to in order to be
the best wives and mothers we can be. If your husband his happy with you, as Isaac was
with Rebakah, and one or more of your children are going in a way that pleases God, as
was Jacob, then you are succeeding, like Rebekah, as a marvelous mother.
