Taming the Tongue
James 1:26 James 3:1-12
Good Morning/ Taming your tongue could be one of the hardest things you do
Question-
Have you ever said something that you wish you could take back?
Have you ever realized that such a small muscle (3-4”) in your mouth could get you into so much trouble?
Have you ever been listening to someone and you thought- I wish that person would just be quiet! (In your head, the voice is not so refined) saying please…shut up!
You see what the common denominator is here, wither you are doing the talking or someone else is talking to you… they are words that you wish would go away.
Words you could take back
Words that would go away- stop talking!
The Bible has a lot to say about our words… I found over 100 Old and New Testament verses that deal with words we speak or about taming our tongue.
I can understand why the Lord was getting after the Pharisee’s in Matthew 12:35-36
“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless (idol) word they have spoken.”
That ought to make you think before you speak
That will not be our best moments- Reflecting back on what was said and our attitude and behavior-
Thank God for Grace!
Illustration-
My report cards that I got as a kid from kindergarden to 8th grade all had comments in some respect that I was a good kid but I could not keep my mouth shut when I was supposed to be quiet.
All the parent/teacher conferences- talks out of turn and does not stay focus on what the class is doing.
We looked at several report cards because my mom saved them.
I can remember two different teachers during that period of time, they both handled me in different ways. Mrs. Harper would yell at me, be red in the face and short fused. Kind of like the parent that continuously is yelling at their kids and wondering as they get older, why they are yelling back.
Mrs. Hanlon would grab my face (which they cannot do now and tap me, look me right in the eyes and say you have got to pay attention. This is for your benefit. Defuse the situation. Which one do you think was my favorite teacher?
Mrs. Harper set a fire in me and Mrs. Hanlon put a bite in my mouth- more as we get into the text.
Mom just knew that her oldest kid would be a preacher or a lawyer when I grew up.
I wanted to be a baseball player.
Just because I am a preacher paid to teach and speak does not mean that I always learned the lesson of when to be quiet and when to speak.
I still have to get a grip on that tongue before I speak.
Prayer-
Father, this morning I ask that you would speak to each of us concerning the power we have in our words. One that can lift up a person or words that can destroy. May we choose today that we desire our words to lift up and be a blessing and have us realize that words are to be carefully said and applied in our lives. In Jesus Name! Amen!
Please turn to the book of James chapter 1:19 for a moment and then our text is James chapter 3.
James 1:19
“My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
Those moments that we didn’t think and blurted out horrible things that we wish we could take back-
Instead of doing some listening, we are the ones talking and being angry.
Nobody listening and everyone talking- is a dangerous conversation that nobody wins. The back and forth comments and the next thing you know things were said that we didn’t mean or least we did not want to say.
(26) “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”
You want to wreck a good thing- a ministry, a relationship- just go ahead and let your mouth get in front of your thinking and you will wreck a good thing and it will become worthless!
Passion version
“My dearest brothers and sisters, take this to heart; be quick to listen, but slow to speak. And be slow to become angry, for human anger is never a legitimate tool to promote God’s righteous purpose.”
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Greek Philosopher Epictetus- I heard the great TV Theologian Judge Judy say it.
Most people are not listening at what the other person is saying- they are waiting for them to catch their breath so they can jump in and say what they want to say.
Why would the Bible have so much to say about our words?
Because words come from the heart and if the heart is not right- very hurtful things can come from us- words can destroy!
The greatest enemy for relationships is in your mouth- and in my mouth
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” prov. 23:13
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” 18:21
“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” 13:3
That little muscle in our mouth- has the potential of life and death.
Our words matter!
Some marriages suffer because one or both cannot keep quiet.
Some kids have never heard a positive word growing up so they never give a positive word to someone else.
Gossipers have knowingly said hurtful things about someone all the while knowing they are not true.
One preacher defining gossip- “Talking with somebody about somebody and neither of you are part of the problem or the solution.”
One day Jesus says we will give an account for those words-
idol words hurt people. Hurting people hurt people!
James 3:1-12 Read slowly
The passion version-
“My dear brothers and sisters, don’t be so eager to become a teacher in the church since you know that we who teach are held to a higher standard of judgment. We all fail in many areas, but especially with our words. Yet if we’re able to bridle the words we say we are powerful enough to control ourselves in every way, and that means our character is mature and fully developed.”
Maybe this is a good observation-
Mature Christians have learned to take control of the tongue before it causes un-repairable damage. It is not fool proof, we have all put our foot in our mouths but a mature Christian works very hard to make sure that their brain is working before the mouth opens.
So let’s take a look at this passage and see if we can find a nugget-
At the start of the verse he says that most should not presume to be teachers.
We will be judged by our words.
You better know what your talking about- some people just like to talk and they say a lot of words but nothing of value comes out.
Mature believers teaching God’s word learn that what is said is not always the words he/she wants to share but are the words of the Lord and learns that his/her personal words are limited to wither they are lifting up a principal of God so as to not bring confusion.
(2-3) “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect (mature) man, able to keep his whole body in check.
So James tells us that man:
Can put a bit in a horse’s mouth and control the animal.
We can steer a large ship by a rudder.
A fire can be started with a little match
(7) “All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
Why can we tame the animals? Because God put us in charge of them and we have authority over them. We were the ones who named them and they were put here for our use by God.
Why can we not tame out tongue? Because of the fall and sin, our heart in itself is wicked and what is in our heart will come out of our mouths- only God can tame the tongue because only God can change our hearts!
In ourselves what does He say about us?
(9) “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and curing. “My brothers this should not be”
Anyone come from a church service praising the Lord and say things a few minutes later that you wish you could take back?
Said words that did not reflect the life of a believer?
Because we cannot change the heart and if we do not have our heart changed- what comes out of our mouth won’t glorify God!
“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.”
“Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit in me.”
“Let t he words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord”
The only way salt water and fresh water don’t flow out of our mouths together is by allowing the Lord to tame our tongue and cleanse our Spirit. We cannot do that on our own.
Until you realize that you will not live forever, heeding the words of Jesus is hard.
Until Jesus words become life to you, you will never be able to show another about Jesus.
Faith is complete trust in Jesus- anything less is a watered down version.
When we allow the Lord to work in our lives I believe He shows us some truth about our words- 3 things quickly.
Healing Words
`We will seek healing words from the Lord and our desire will be to bring healing words to others.
“A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Prov. 15:1
“Let your speech be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Healing words bring encouragement (For you and for others)
Healing words bring life!
I want you to know that Jesus never told us to tell it let it is- he said show them how it could be!
There is a spiritual problem the Lord wants to work at if you always have to have the last word- even when we know that it will not heal the situation.
Harsh Words
“Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”
Harsh words spoken in anger tear down and cause us to lose communication and when communication is lost, so is the ability to reconcile.
This is why it is so important to not tear down each other’s character when disagreeing.
I learned early in my marriage that “the look” was more than just a look of being mad.
It was her heart being shown in disappointment. I never wanted to see her disappointed in me.
I was a talker, yeller, emotional energized- never let it go, put my foot in my mouth, try to get it out person-
Becky was more rational, quiet, carefully articulated, and when you have crossed the line… communication was severed, at least at that time.
Harsh and angry words can never be explained away- they can only be forgiven by the innocent party. (Repeat)
James calls it a fire that ignites and destroys. Spreads like wildfire and becomes out of control.
What started small has now spread to more areas of our life.
Holy Words
“Thy Word Lord is a lamp unto to my feet and a light unto my path”- Psalm 119
“Your words lord are life to me”
We desire Lord that they would be life to others not destruction.
We desire that what you are have done for us, you will do for others and we want to be the vessel you use.
“It is the Spirit who gives life, the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken are spirit and life.”
Closing-Illustration-
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
So what is the Lord telling you about the words you use and the words you speak to others?
We are not able to tame the tongue. Only the Lord can change a heart.
Those burst of anger, that quick frustration are areas the Lord wants us to give Him. Will you do it this morning?
Prayer-
