Today many people around the world celebrate Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine. Here are three facts about Valentine's Day:
• One hundred forty-four million greeting cards are sent every year.
• Americans spent $20.7 billion in 2019 on Valentine's Day.
• 7 in 10 people in America celebrate Valentine's Day.
Many mysteries are surrounding the origins of Valentine's Day. People debate when exactly it started and who it began with. The most common origin story is the legend of St. Valentine. He is believed to have been a priest during the third century in Rome. After Emperor Claudius II declared single men made better soldiers, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine went behind Emperor Claudius' law and performed marriages in secret. When this was discovered, Claudius had him put to death. Other stories suggested that Valentine helped Christians to escape Roman prisons. Valentine was imprisoned in this story when he sent the first valentine's letter to a young lady. It is believed he sent it to his jailor's daughter. Before his death, it is thought he wrote her another letter and signed it, "From your Valentine." By the time the middle ages came around, St. Valentine had become a famous saint. Although we do not know if these stories are true, St. Valentine is still viewed as a romantic saint who helped to start Valentine's Day.
Should Christians celebrate Valentine's Day? Some say we shouldn't celebrate it. Here are their reasons: 1) They believe Valentine's Day has pagan roots. It replaced the celebration of Lupercalia, which is a yearly pagan celebration that took place on February 15th. This celebration involved ritual animal sacrifice and many other scandalous practices. The purpose of Lupercalia was for women to have a year of fertility. 2) They believe the festival has its roots in lust, eroticism, and fertility rather than in love. We are all familiar with Cupid, the young boy who holds his bow and shoots heart-shaped allows. He is an icon of romance and cuteness, but others who know the history are aware that he represents the ancient Roman god of desire and erotic love. 3) It's too commercialized. Not everyone can afford roses, boxes of chocolates, or costly gifts. Many people believe they have to purchase expensive gifts to express their love when Christians know that it's the underlying attitude that matters more.
To celebrate Valentine’s Day or not is not important. But as Christians, I believe we should know the kinds of LOVE that God wants us to have, something that is more than just Valentine's Day kind of love:
1. Eros.
This is the Greek word for romantic, sexual love, or passionate love. We get the word "erotic" from this word. Eros love is an essential component between man and woman, leading to the holy marital union, a strong and lasting bond of bonds and trust. This is the kind of love that the Book of Song of Songs depicts. Unfortunately, the world misunderstands and misuses Eros's love just as an expression of lust. Eros does not appear in the biblical text, so we will not spend time discussing it in this sermon.
2. Storge.
The second kind of love we need to understand is storge. It is the love and affection that naturally occurs between parents and children and between siblings. It also exists between husbands and wives in a good marriage. It occurs in Romans 12:10 in the word philostorgos; a compound word made up of Philos (the noun form of phileo) and storge. Romans 12:10 is a significant verse, directing us to be very loving and kind to each other. Romans 12:10 (Expanded translation) "As to your brotherly love, let there be deep friendship and family-affection toward one another."
3. Agape.
The third love that we have to have refers to the love of God. Agape is the very nature of God, for God is love (1 John 4:7-12,16). This kind of love is based on the character of God, not on our feelings. It is called a sacrificial-unconditional and unchanging love. People today are accustomed to thinking of love as a feeling of liking someone or something, but that is not necessarily the case with agape love. Agape is love shown by action. God so "loved the world" (agape) that He gave His only son (John 3:16). It was unpleasant for God to do that, but He did because of His love. Christ so loved (agape) that He gave His life. He did not want to die, but He loved us, so He did what the Father required. A mother who loves her sick baby will stay up all night long to care for her baby. It is not something that she likes, but she wants to do it because of her agape love for her baby.
The point is that agape love is not be moved or generated from feelings. Instead, agape love is an expression of the will, a deliberate choice. This is why God can command us to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). He does not command us to have a good feeling or to like our enemies but act in a loving way toward them. Agape love is related to obedience and commitment, and not necessarily feeling and emotion. Loving someone is a commitment to obey God's command to show the person His love and forgiveness!
The way to know that we love (agape) God is that we keep His commandments. Jesus said, "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me..." (John 14:21a). There are Christians who say they love God, but their lifestyle is contrary to God's will. These people mistake their feeling of affection for God for true agape love. Jesus made this clear: "He who does not love me will not obey my teaching…" (John 14:24a). In Gal 5:22, we learn that an aspect of the fruit of the spirit is agape love. Agape love should be the distinctive character of the Christian life with other Christians and to all humanity. Christians or Christ’s followers are known for their love (agape) toward one another (John 13:35).
4. Phileo.
The fourth kind of love is phileo, which means "to have a special interest in someone or something, frequently with a focus on close association; have affection for, like, consider someone a friend." It would probably be helpful if phileo were never translated as "love" in the New Testament because it refers to a strong liking or a strong friendship. Of course, we see how phileo gets translated "love," because, in modern culture, we say we "love" things that we strongly like: "I love ice cream," "I love my car," "I love the way your hair looks," etc. The word phileo implies a strong emotional connection and thus is used of the "love," or deep friendship, between friends.
You can "agape" your enemies, but you cannot "phileo" them. The difference between agape and phileo becomes obvious in John 21:15, but unfortunately, it is not clear in almost all translations. After being raised from the dead, Jesus met Peter. Here is the short version of what they said to each other:
Jesus: Simon … do you love (agape) me more than these?
Peter: Yes, Lord; you know that I love (phileo) you.
Jesus: Simon … do you…love (agape) me?
Peter: Yes, Lord, you know that I love (phileo) you.
Jesus: Simon … do you love (phileo) me?
Peter: [Grieved] "Lord … you know that I love (phileo) you."
In this example, you can see how using the simple word "love" has hidden the true meaning of their conversation. Why did Jesus use agape and Peter use phileo? Jesus asked Peter if he loved him with the love of God, a love that may require Peter’s sacrifice. After all, Jesus had just gone through horrendous torture for Peter's sake (and ours), something He did not want to do, but He did anyway because of His agape love. On the other hand, Peter still felt the sting of having denied Jesus three times and was hopeful that their friendship was intact. In his mind, he may have been wondering if Jesus held his denial against him. Would Jesus still treat Peter as a close associate and companion? Peter was unsure where he stood with Jesus, so he was trying to let Jesus know that he was still a true friend and had phileo love for Him. The third time Jesus told to Peter, He came to Peter's level and asked if Peter were indeed a true friend (phileo), which grieved Peter. Nevertheless, it was necessary because Jesus knew what Peter did not know. Soon Jesus would ascend into heaven, leaving Peter and the other disciples to carry out His work on earth, which would require that they all be His good friends and do His will even when it meant hardship and persecution.
Closing: God wants us to have those four kinds of love in our marriage, in our relationship with other family members, with friends, with brothers and sisters in Christ, and with other people in general.
1. Eros love is essential for starting a family and forming deep, longs lasting bonds of strength between a husband and wife in marriage.
2. We need to have storge love between us, a deep family affection that comforts us and helps us feel connected to our immediate and extended family and all our spiritual family.
3. We need to have agape love because God has first agape us. It is not easy, but by the power of the Holy Spirit and His grace, we can do it.
4. Lastly, we Christians need to have phileo love because we need true friends to stand with us, people who are emotionally connected to us and with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings.
