Valentine’s Day 2021
Scripture: John 3:16; First John 4:8 & 16; First Corinthians 13
Good morning New Light. Today is February 14 and I want to wish my darling wife, Nikki, my daughters, my grand-daughter and each one of you a very happy Valentine’s Day. Now, why don’t you take a moment to wish someone a happy Valentine’s Day – I will even pause and let you text them since we are remote. Across the United States and in other places around the world, candy, flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine – all in the name of love. The history of Valentine’s Day – and the story of its patron saint – is shrouded in mystery. However, what we do know is that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains remnants of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
This morning I am not going to focus on the history of Valentine’s Day in the way we are accustomed to talking about it. Instead, I am going to focus on what Valentine’s Day represents – giving something to someone because you love them. I am not talking about giving a gift when the purpose of you giving the gift is to try and prove your affection for someone or worse, to receive a gift in return. If that is the reason you’re giving someone a gift today then you are missing the whole purpose of Valentine’s Day - demonstrating love. Instead you are either attempting to prove something that you’ve been unable to prove through your conduct thus far or you are trying to manipulate the receiver of your gift to give you a gift in return, and I’ll leave it at that. You see, what you’re going to hear this morning is how love shows up in our actions and when it’s done right, the person on the receiving end knows how you feel whether or not you ever give them a gift. As a matter of record, I will say that if you love a person the right way, gifts that you can purchase will never be chosen over the love that you give them. It just won’t happen.
God gave the world its first Valentine’s gift in the Garden of Eden. No, I am not talking about when God put Adam in a deep sleep to remove one of his ribs to create Eve. Actually I am talking about when God banished them from the Garden of Eden. God is love. Everything that God does flows out of Who He is – everything! I want you to understand that the reason God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden was because He loved them? Remember how He told them not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil because they would die if they did? I am not going to spend any time on this right now, but they did die spiritually the moment they ate of the tree and they died physically years later. When they died spiritually, the sin nature was formed in them. Now I do not want you to miss this next statement. God knew that if they ate of the Tree of Life that they would live forever in a sinful condition and eventually burn in the lake of fire forever so He prevented this for them! Now how is this an example of love? If Adam and Eve had eaten of the Tree of Life, they would have lived as sinners forever and God would not have been able to provide a path back to Him for them or for the human race.
Now that path was the birth, death and resurrection of His Son Jesus – the second Valentine’s gift that God set in motion to give to the world immediately after Adam and Eve sinned. This gift was also given out of love. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) Now I need to ask you a question that should burn in the hearts of all who have accepted Christ as their personal Savior. Why in the world would God love this world so much when this world rejects His holy standards of living? It is because God is only being who He is and responding out of who He is. In First John 4, we read the following in verses 8 and 16: 8He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. … 16And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” So He had to make sure that they would not have an opportunity to eat of the Tree of Life. God loved the human race so much, that His first “Valentine’s gift” was banishing Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden which paved the way for His second “Valentine’s gift” – sending His Son to die in our place.
New Light, God is our Father and that means that we are also capable of loving the “Adams and Eves” of this world the same way God did with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Now the question you may have is this: “How can I know that I love people the same way God loves people?” Let’s turn to the chapter in the Bible that most refer to as the “Love Chapter” – First Corinthians 13 – to answer the question. Love is our Father’s heartbeat and if our hearts are not beating with His heart, then we will be out of step with Him and His desires for us and for the world. Before we look at the verses in First Corinthians 13, I want you to hear, grasp and understand what I am about to say.
First Corinthians 13, the “Love Chapter,” describes a love that is the deliberate choice by the one who is giving the love because it is not based on the worthiness of the one who is receiving the love. Do you understand this? Many people base their “giving of love” on the worthiness of the one on the receiving end and this is not the love that God has shown us. God’s love for us is without conditions and that is a hard principle to understand in our human forms.
New Light, my focus this morning is how we can demonstrate “Valentine’s Day love” to others, including our family, friends, and even strangers. It starts with our knowing that the love that resides in us, in the born again nature that we received at the new birth, is the love that can demonstrate “Valentine’s Day love” when we deliberately choose to live by what we’re going to read in First Corinthians 13. We are going to read verses four through seven and then go back and look at each verse individually. Let’s begin reading at verse four. “4Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things; endures all things.” (First Corinthians 13:4-7) In these verses, we see God’s heart and we see God’s character. Remember we read from First John that God is love? Ephesians 5:1 says “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.” What we have just read here in First Corinthians 13 is God’s instructions to His children on how to demonstrate love the same way He, Himself, demonstrates love. He wants His children to imitate their Father! Let’s begin with verse four to see what our Father wants us to imitate.
? Love suffers long. In the Greek, the word suffers mean having the ability to contain and control anger. The first thing that our Father wants us to learn from Him is how to be longsuffering in dealing with people like He was with the children of Israel and like He is now with us. This is not easy, especially in the climate that we live in today. I don’t ever remember a time in our country when the lack of civility has been so apparent. So many people seem to be walking around with chips on their shoulders just waiting for someone to knock them off so they can jump into a tirade. God says His child, walking in the love, does not allow their emotions to determine how they respond when mistreated. Let me bring this even closer to home. How many Valentine’s days have passed when you refused to tell your loved one that you loved them because you were mad at something that they had done recently? How many times have your anger made you walk away. Never to look back because you were simply tired of trying – experiencing Groundhog Day of everything being the same with no improvement? I thank God that He is long suffering with me!
? Love is kind. The word “kind” means “willing to help or assist.” Before moving to College Hill, we lived in the first housing project ever built in the city of Columbia. One summer my Mom and Dad brought home a boy about our age named James, who spent the summer with us. James was not related to us and I don’t remember why they took him in for the summer, but I do know, as I think about it, what my Mom and Dad did for James describes our Father’s example of being kind. James had nothing to offer my parents and yet, for the time he was with us, they treated him like he was their own child. I have no doubts that they were imitating their Father when they did this. Love acts on the best interest of another person even when that other person has nothing to give in return.
? Love does not envy. Now it’s okay to “OUCH!” The Greek definition may surprise some of you. The word means “to profess affection for the purpose of manipulating another’s affection” or “to be jealous for a thing or a person.” Since we all know what it means be envious or jealous, I want to focus on the first definition, “to profess affection for the purpose of manipulating.” Ohhhhhh, how many men – and yes I am speaking to my brothers, have whispered a lot of “sweet nothings” in the ears of young women in order to manipulate them to get what they wanted? I will confess that I am guilty so I am not holding myself up as an example of purity as it relates to envy. When I read this I thought about all the people, men and women, that I’ve known who have pretended to love someone or be really affectionate with someone in order to get what they wanted from that person. The person on the receiving end of this “false affection” walks away felling used and abused depending on the circumstances. I can tell you with confidence that people who live this way do not have the love of God living within them – at least not in this instance. God says His child, walking in love, will not tell someone what they want to hear in order to gain their favor.
? Love does not parade itself. The phase “does not parade” means “refusing to brag, boast, and exalt oneself, especially at the expense of another.” Do you remember saying as a child, “Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you?” This is what this is describing. A person who repeatedly does this is an attention seeker who is trying to prove to everyone their self-worth. All of us know someone like this – they can never have enough attention and their interests always trump the interests of others. But according to what we read here, this is not God’s love in action. Jesus could do a lot of things when He walked the earth but there is not one Scripture recording Him bragging about it. As a matter of fact, it does record Him telling people not to tell others what He had done from them. That is how love speaks: “I am doing this for you but it must stay between you and me.” Proverbs 13:10 says “By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well-advised is wisdom.” God says that His children, walking in love, are not attention seekers.
? Love is not puffed up. In the Greek this means “to inflate, blow up, as in self-promotion to draw attention to yourself and away from another; thinking more highly of yourself than you ought.” “Is not puffed up” is coupled with “does not parade itself” to draw our attention to the thing that caused Lucifer’s downfall – pride. When you look at this passage, the first thing it says about love is that it is kind and then it goes into what is not – envious, boastful and puffed up. New Light, when a Christian’s life is not demonstrating kindness, you will not have to look far to see envy, boastfulness and self-promotion. Philippians 2:3 says “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in loneliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” When we are walking in love, we won’t have to always tell people who we are. We will live who we are in front of them.
? Love does not behave rudely. This is referring to Christians who “behave in an ugly and unbecoming manner.” It also refers to “behavior that has little regard or respect for others.” Christians who are mean, critical, or cruel are not walking in the love of God.
? Love does not seek its own. To me, this one is interesting. In the Greek it refers “to a person who does not always demand their rights.” In other words, for the sake of demonstrating Christ, they are willing to forego what others believe they deserve. Now notice what it says New Light. The person would not be wrong for demanding the right but what is more important to that person is how they are perceived as a person representing Jesus. A quick and simple example. You are next in line at the grocery store. Your grocery cart is full. There is an elderly couple behind you and the wife is in a motorized chair. Their cart is full too. You offer to let them go ahead of you and, in addition, you also offer to help them unload their groceries. This is putting someone else’s interests before yours even though it was your right to remain where you were.
? Love is not provoked. Christians who are walking in love will not have a short temper – I mean that temper that is always on edge and waiting to be offended so it can go off. They will not be quickly moved to outbursts of anger or indignation. James 1, verses 19 and 20, says “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
? Love thinks no evil. I will not tell you how many times I have lain in bed at night after someone offended me and did just this! This is describing a person who keeps a mental ledger of every wrong that is done to them – yup I did that! And it is also describing a person who is living in unforgiveness – oops, that was me too! New Light, this is the number one reason why Christians divorce. How can you truly say “Happy Valentine’s Day” and in the back of your mind you’re still angry with them for something they did last week? I want to draw your attention to two passages that show us how to imitate our Father when it comes to thinking no evil. Psalm 103:12 says this about God – “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” And in Isaiah 43:25 God says this about Himself – “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.” God says He blots out our sins and remembers them no more for His sake. God doesn’t want to look at us through the filter of our sins so why are willing to look at the ones we love through the filter of their mistakes?
? Love does not rejoice in iniquity. This is not so much a person who enjoys sin, but a person who takes pleasure in the shortcomings of others, feeling a type of vindication. How many of you have heard or even said “What goes around comes around?” This is what “rejoicing in iniquity” is talking about. You don’t come right out and say the person got what they deserved, but you couch it with “What goes around comes around!” God shows us His heart in the first part of Ezekiel 33:11 – “Say to them: ‘As I live,’ says the Lord God, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live.” God says His children, who are walking in love, will not respond this way when something unfortunate happens to someone who they feel has wronged them. God takes no pleasure in the death of a sinner because they will forever be out of His presence. Likewise, we should always want the best for others, regardless of how they treat us.
? Love rejoices in the truth. This means that Christians will take pleasure in that which is true, but also rejoice in a good report about those who have wronged them. See how this is closely tied to not rejoicing in iniquity? If you have ever said or thought that “the truth hurts,” well now you can rejoice in that pain because love rejoices in truth!
? Love bears all things and believes all things. I am combining these two because they both focus on the same thing – forgiving people who have wronged you. “Bears all things” presents the image of every time a wrong is done, the person who has been wronged responds by draping a blanket of love over the wrong so it cannot be seen. The person is not covering up the sin, but the person is refusing to allow the sin to hinder their ability to love the person who wronged them. Similarly, “believes all things” is to believe the best about a person even when the person is at their worst. For example, supposed you have a friend who is really going through a tough time and all they want to do watch TV and drink beer. You can both fuss at them and tell them how this isn’t helping the situation or you can sit with them and encourage them by saying things like, “With God, you and I are never without hope and I know God has not abandoned you. I won’t either.”
? Love hopes all things. This is the attitude of hope that the one who has done wrong will get their life back on the right path, as opposed to thinking “they deserve what they get.” It’s the same attitude that we have for those we care about when we see them making decisions that are not in their best interest. We maintain hope that they will get it together and be all right.
? Love endures all things. This refers to the ability to remain strong in the power of God’s love in the face of the wrongs that are done to you. In other words, this closes the discussion of the characteristics of love the same way it began the discussion – Love suffers long. It’s almost like God is wrapping up the essence of living by love by saying we can endure anything that happens to us because the most important thing to us in life is to let people see Jesus in us. Just as Jesus suffered and endured wrongs so that we could have a chance to spend an eternity with Him, we should be willing to do the same.
New Light, and to everyone else listening to or reading this message, if you think you love someone compare what you “think you are feeling” to the description of love found in First Corinthians chapter thirteen. Young people, if you are dating and you think you are in love, compare how your “loved one” treats you based on what is recorded in First Corinthians chapter thirteen. If your boyfriend or girlfriend does not measure up to the love “you’re supposed to have as a child of God” then you really need to question if you should remain in that relationship. Look beyond the flowers. Look beyond the chocolates. Look beyond the diamonds and all of the other gifts given on Valentine’s Day. If the one you are with does not love you like God does, then you need to consider if this is the right person for you. Yes I know people can change as love grows, but there are some core elements of a person that won’t and you need to know for sure.
Now, to all of my “old folks” experienced in love, if you do not love like First Corinthians chapter thirteen, start doing it. If you start it then the one you love will receive it and possibly start giving it back. Remember, God’s type of love gives without expecting something in return. God’s love is not based on our worthiness! If you are married to someone and you are struggling to love them because your love is growing cold, remember “how” God loves you – it’s definitely not based on you being worthy of it! I will leave you with what Paul said at the beginning of verse eight, he said, “LOVE NEVER FAILS!”
Have a blessed Valentine’s Day with your loved ones.
Until next time, “The Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)
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