Finding Freedom From Hurt
OKAY – so we are in this series, Finding Freedom in a world that seeks to bind us.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. – Galatians 5:1
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free… So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:31,32, 36
AND MGCC – here’s the deal about this series (when you boil it all down) the truths we are unpacking in this series
is about telling things that seek to bind us, things like…
Fear, Worry, Anger, Yourself, Stuff and your circumstances
“You are not my master”
“You are not the boss of me”
QUESTION…
HAVE - any of those 6 things ever tried to be your master?
LIKE – has fear, or worry, or anger, or stuff, or circumstances, or yourself (making life all about you)…
EVER DONE - a pretty good job at controlling your… moods, peace, joy, confidence and hope?
WELL LISTEN – the good news is that if these things ever have or if they ever do become your master, become the boss of you moods, joy, peace and hope…
THERE REALLY ARE – truths of God…
THAT IF YOU – both know and embrace (live out) will really set you free.
UNDERSTAND MGCC – in and through Jesus, in and through His living and active Word…
YOU HAVE – the power and the path that will enable you to say with great confidence…
Fear, Worry, Anger, Stuff, Circumstances…
you are not my master!!!
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free… So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:31,32
MGCC – if you really take time to think about what Jesus is saying in these verses…
IT IS - an incredibly powerful – statement, claim, promise.
BEING - set free… set free by the Son indeed.
AND LISTEN – this total, this tangible freedom is predicated on one thing…
ON - you and I holding on to His teaching.
NOW – Friday morning, I was like… okay, I need to take a deeper dive into this word that is translated ‘hold.’
Hold = Greek, meno… to remain, continue in, to keep, to stay
• John 1:32 (Spirit came and remained on Jesus)
• John 15:4 (Jesus is the vine and we are the branches of we remain in Him we will bear much fruit)
• 1 Corinthians 13:13 (and now these three remain… faith, hope and love… and the greatest is… love)
• 1 Peter 1:23 (For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God)
MGCC – if you hold on to the truths we have been talking about since November 1st…
NOW – this morning’s conversation is…
Finding Freedom From Hurt
QUESTION – got any? Got any hurts?
ANY – old ones, fresh ones, new ones, deep ones
MAPLE GROVE - have you ever been hurt?
Are you in a place of hurt right now?
I MEAN – are you right now, in that…
Deep, draining, depressing, deflating, defeating, dark place WHERE - the only way out, is through the power of forgiveness…
NOW UNDERSTAND - when you’re on the receiving end of forgiveness, it’s all good, right?
QUESTION – like raise your hand (in this room or online)…
IF YOU – like to be forgiven when you mess up?
IF YOU – are thankful that we serve a God who forgives?
YEAH – that’s what all thought we are all, pro-forgiveness
WHEN – we are the ones being forgiven.
HOWEVER – when the conversation changes to our having to give forgiveness, things get a little bit messy.
It gets a little bit hard.
YES - forgiveness is an - awesome, fun and freeing concept…
As long as we’re not talking about extending to…
• The father, who berated and abused you or
• The spouse who cheated and walked out on you,
• The boss who fired you,
• The coworker who stabbed you in the back,
• The relative who abused you.
• The friend who betrayed, lied about and slandered you
I MEAN…
LIKE - forgiveness is such a fine and beautiful idea, as long as we’re on the receiving end, but again, forgiveness gets a lot messier when we are called to give it.
The Bible says in Proverbs 14:10 that “every heart knows its own bitterness,”
WHICH – basically means that all of us have been hurt.
UNDERSTAND – everyone in this room has been hurt, without exception.
UNDERSTAND – all of us have at one time or another,
have been…
• Mistreated, cast aside
• Beat down, Let down
• Brokenhearted, abandoned
• Betrayed, Bullied, Belittled
• Verbally abused, Offended
• Insulted, lonely, excluded
• Wounded, rejected, despised
• Lied about, disliked, hated
WE HAVE BEEN - hurt by… parents, spouses, X’s, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends, X friends, classmates, co-workers, boyfriends, girlfriends, church members, church leaders…
AND PERHAPS - the greatest hurt is when we are hurt by our own children.
B/L – when we are hurt, this great and noble concept of forgiveness starts to get real messy.
NOW HERE’S – what we’re going to do today, December 13, 2020…
We’re going to unpack a parable of Jesus found in Matthew 18 known as, “The Parable Unforgiving Servant.”
AND LISTEN – as we unpack these words from Jesus, Our LORD and Savior (our what?)
We’re going to learn that, in the eyes of Jesus…
Biblical forgiveness is only realized when it goes both ways.
IN – other words…
Biblical forgiveness, the forgiveness that comes from God
The only way that it is ‘really’ works
IS IF - it goes both ways.
YOU SEE - if all we do is receive forgiveness, but we don’t give it, then we’ve fallen woefully short of how forgiveness works for those who choose to live in His Kingdom.
GET IT?
AND SO - I just want to say from the beginning of this message… SO THAT – no one misses, misunderstands, or misappropriates our conversation…
THAT - the point I want to make crystal clear for me, for you and for the person to your R/L…
IS THIS…
AND UNDERSTAND – I am about to say 2 things that will make some people very uncomfortable… and I am totally okay with that, BECAUSE…
TRUTH BE TOLD – these things make me uncomfortable…
#1 – That our giving of forgiveness to those who have hurt us, reveals how much forgiveness we really have received from God and how much we’re just kind of faking it.
#2 - We understand, get and experience God's forgiveness only to the degree that we are willing to extend forgiveness to the one who hurt us the most and deserves it the least.
MGCC - that’s when you know it’s real—that’s when you know God’s grace and forgiveness is real in your life…
WHEN - you’re called to forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it, who’s really hurt you… and you actually forgive.
UNDERSTAND – the beautiful and powerful truth ‘we have been saved by grace through faith, cuts both ways.’
YOU SEE – we experience God’s salvation not only when we are forgiven, but when we forgive.
QUESTION – who has hurt you the most and deserves your forgiveness the least?
LIKE – when I say that, does…
• Anyone’s face
• Any situation
• Any painful experience come into mind
OKAY – let’s do this… Finding freedom from HURT
AND – like I said earlier we are going to be looking a parable of Jesus found in Matthew 18 Jesus…
A parable that speaks powerfully to this concept of grace and forgiveness. ‘The parable of the unforgiving servant’…
Or we call it… The dangers of holding on to HURT.
OKAY - here’s how this passage starts off. Peter comes to Jesus with a question… Who else, right?
NOW - I want to stop right there and say of course he did.
IF – you know anything about the bible, you know that Peter was like that kid in class who was always , “okay hold up a minute..’
I MEAN - everyone else is nodding like they got it, even if they don’t – but Peter is that person (maybe you know someone like this, or maybe you are that person) – who always asks what everyone else is thinking…
YOU SEE – Jesus had just given some pretty rough teaching about the subjects… hurt, confrontation and reconciliation… Which lead Peter to ask…
Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? – Matthew 18:21.
(do you think Peter has a specific person in mind? I do)
NOW UNDERSTAND – Peter was probably expecting Jesus to commend him for being so gracious…
FOR YOU SEE - the Rabbis taught you had to forgive a man three times and then you could retaliate.
So Peter thinks to himself, "Well, I'll just double that and add one for good measure." Seven, after all, is the perfect number.
AND - to be perfectly honest, forgiving a person seven times is pretty commendable. I MEAN - most of us have a hard time forgiving somebody one time.
SO – by human standards what Peter is offering to do is pretty impressive.
AGAIN – Peter thought that by saying seven, he was doing good – going the 2nd mile, turning the other cheek.
BUT LISTEN - the truth is Peter simply wanted a some kind of legal limit – a number – after which he could finally say, ‘Okay, that’s it – no more Mr. Nice Guy.”
SO - when Peter throws out the number seven he’s feeling very confident… THAT - he’s going to get a compliment,
THAT - Jesus is going to be like, “Peter! R U you kidding me… you are so amazing! Seven times? Why can’t all the disciples be like you?”
YEAH – that’s pretty much what peter thinks is going to happen, as he throws out this number that seems to be really gracious…
Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?
– Matthew 18:21
AGAIN - I really think that Peter has someone specific in mind… I wonder who it was?
NOW - I think it’s safe to assume that it’s probably someone he knew quite well (because that is usually how hurt goes, right?)
YES - there are exceptions to this.
I MEAN - there are some of you who have had someone come into your life just kind of long enough to bring about some destruction and devastation and then they were gone.
BUT - for most of us the people who hurt us the most are the people that we love, right?
QUESTION… WHY IS THAT?
Because we give those people our hearts, and when we give them our hearts we also give them power over us.
And that power… can cause a lot of hurt, pain and damage. (amen?)
AND – do you know what?
I think Peter’s question is probably a question we would all like to know the answer to.
Yeah, okay. I mean, as long as Peter’s asking, I’d like to know.
How far is too far?
How much is too much?
When can I let my forgiveness of them run out?
AND SO PETER - sets Jesus up with this equation.
Because that’s what Peter wants to know:
WHEN - does the hurt in my life,
WHEN - does the pain that’s been caused me—
WHEN - does this become the equation that I am allowed to operate by…
When does my hurt become > your call to forgive
And Jesus answers. I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven. - Matthew 18:22
AND HEY - that loud sound you hear is Peter dropping over unconscious. I MEAN - he couldn't believe his ears. Seventy times seven. That's 490 times.
YOU SEE - Jesus is saying, "Peter, you've got it all wrong.
You don't count the number of times you forgive someone. BECAUSE – forgiveness is unlimited”
YOU SEE - it's not that we say to ourselves, "298 … 299 … 300. Only 190 more to go, and then I can make them pay!"
INSTEAD - seventy times seven means there is no limit to the number of times we should forgive someone who has hurt us.
YEAH I KNOW – that sounds crazy, unrealistic, not natural, impossible, unfair… BUT REMEMBER… WE - who live in His Kingdom... WE – who have surrender to and follow Jesus, are to… NO LONGER – to live like those in this world,
INSTEAD - we live in a new and better country, in a new and different kingdom…
ONE – where grace reigns and where we are supernaturally empowered to live radically different lives, WHERE – grace and forgiveness are our operating system.
NOW - when we hear Jesus say that, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times… WE – probably accept that as truth.
I MEAN - we’re like, “Okay, well, if Jesus said, ‘Seventy times seven’… I mean, if that’s what He says...”
HOWEVER - emotionally this concept is extremely hard to get our heart and minds around.
SURE - we might acknowledge that it’s true; but it doesn’t feel true.
I MEAN…
IF - you’re the one who’s been hurt,
IF - you’re the one who’s been left,
IF - you’re the one who’s been abandoned, betrayed, mistreated and abused—if that’s you, then you might say it’s true… BUT - it just doesn’t feel true,
BECAUSE – sometimes it does feel like our forgiving others and showing them grace does run out.
(at least it does, at times, for me)
AND SO - Jesus gives us a parable to help us emotionally get our arms around this truth that will help us to find freedom from out hurt…
Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
NOW - this was not an unusual thing. Imprisonment for debt was very common in Jesus’ day.
SO - this action would not be a surprise to Jesus’ listeners because they know the wy of this world: You owe, you pay.
OKAY…
SO - this a story of a Master who wanted to settle accounts,
AND - one guy owed him a very large debt.
Anybody out there know what debt is? Fun, right?
NOW - I want to talk about the size of that debt for a minute. UNDERSTAND - before “talent” meant skill, it meant money. It represented the largest unit of accounting in the Greek currency – 10,000 denarius.
AND – a denarius was equal to one days wage. Multiply your daily wage by 10,000, and you discover the value of a talent.
OKAY – let’s assume that you earn $50,000 a year and you annually work 260 days, you make about $192 a day. A talent in your case is valued at 10,000 times $192 or $1,920,000
THEREFORE - 10,000 talents = 19.2 billion dollars
QUESTION – what is JESUS trying to say by choosing such a large number in this story…?
THAT – this guy owes a huge/massive debt, ONE - that he will never been able to pay…
NOW – let’s hit the pause button for a moment
UNDERSTAND MGCC - this is really a story about the human race.
IN FACT…
This is my story and it’s your story.
Jesus says there is a king, there is a God, who is extremely generous (full of mercy and grace), and who is also painstakingly just.
AND – everyone of us have accumulated a mountain of unpayable debt.
AND MGCC – we add to that debt all of the time by our sins of ‘commission’ and ‘omission’…
UNDERSTAND
• Any time we are less than honest.
• Anytime we twist the truth to make ourselves look better
• Every time we are unloving with our kids
• Any time we’re unkind to our spouse/disrespectful to our parents
• Every time we speak reckless words that hurt someone
• Every time that we knew the right thing to do, (like – share our faith, give our tithe, care for the needy…etc)
but we don’t do it.
• Every time we gossip, slander and tear others down with our tongue
• Every selfish act, every racist joke,
• every sexually impure thought or deed
• every judgmental attitude, every malicious act
UNDERSTAND MGCC – all of those things are adding to this mountain of our un-payable debt.
AND SO - Matthew 18 just begins with this reminder—that we all owe this huge debt to God…
AND THEN – Jesus’ story gets interesting.
YOU SEE - Something happens in the mind of the servant.
He is desperate; he has nothing to lose. So he goes for broke. He throws up a Hail Mary. Look at verse 26,
The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’
Now I want you to notice the exact request. "’Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’"
UNDERSTAND – even if he work 365 days a year at $192 per day it would take him 273,972 years to pay it off.
QUESTION - what are the odds of this unemployed servant being able to pay back that kind of debt?
It’s a joke. It’s like promising to empty the Atlantic Ocean with a teaspoon. It’s not going to happen. At best, it’s an insult to the master’s intelligence.
UNDERSTAND – the Master as soon as he heard the plea knew that this guy could never pay it back.
AND AGAIN - Jesus’ listeners know just what to expect.
They know the rule, they know the economy of this world:
You owe, you pay
SO - they wait for the axe to fall, but it never does.
YOU SEE - Jesus says in verse 27 that the MASTER is moved with compassion. He looks at this frightened, selfish, desperate man, and he’s moved with pity.
The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. – Matthew 18:27
AND REMEMBER - this is a mountain of debt. A huge sum of money. AND MGCC - it doesn’t just disappear.
I MEAN - somebody has to pay. Somebody has to take the loss.
QUESTION - who takes the hit? Who pays?
The MASTER pays.
UNDERSTAND – the Master is offering a whole new system of debt management: You owe, I’ll pay.
IT’S - the economy of grace.
IT’S – the new way of His Kingdom.
YEAH – I know it’s crazy but The king says, "I will pay your unpayable debt. I will take the hit. I will suffer the loss – it’s all on me - you can go free. You owe, I’ll pay."
You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. – Colossians 2:13,14
Jesus continues his story…
But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.
– Matthew 18:28
That’s 100 days wages… $192 x 100 days = 19,200 (a significant amount)… but not anywhere close to owing 19.2 billion dollars…
SO - this time he is the one who is owed money.
HEY – as we read the next two verses… picture the person who has hurt you the most… and picture how you responded or want to respond to that hurt.
He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
- Matthew 18:28,29
NOTICE - that this guy is making the exact some request that he had made only moments ago to the master.
SO - he’s being asked to extend the same forgiveness that he had just received (except to a much lesser degree)
1,000,000 times lesser if we’re counting
NOW - if you had never heard this story before (like if you are watching it on the Hallmark TV channel), what would you think is going to happen?
Well, of course he’s going to forgive him.
I MEAN - he was just forgiven a debt of 19.2 billion dollars. SURELY - the one who was on the receiving end of such extravagant forgiveness is going to extend it.
Verse 30, “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.”
NOW - verse 31 (is a) real important verse that’s really easy to overlook in this story. Verse 31 says,
“When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.”
QUESTION – who reported this to the master?
AND WHAT – was their reaction? they were outraged
Why?... LIKE - why were they so upset?... BECAUSE
THEY - all lived in this community…
WHERE - they have this master who does not treat them as servants but instead treats them as sons and daughters… and who does not treat them as their debts deserve.
I MEAN – they all have this master who is over-the-top merciful, generous, gracious and forgiving.
AND WHEN - one of their own receives that kind of grace but then refuses to give it, it’s a big problem, and they are outraged.
UNDERSTAND MGCC – God’s family, His church…
IT’S - just not going to work if we who receive grace and forgiveness, refuse to give it.
AND SO WHEN - we see a brother or sister who has received God’s forgiveness, act ungraciously— that is a problem.
AND SO - within this parable of forgiveness there is also a call for some righteous outrage.
THERE IS A CALL – for the church, for Jesus-followers…
TO NOT BE OKAY – with ‘ungrace.’
TO NOT BE OKAY – with ‘gracism’
TO NOT BE OKAY - with people being ‘gracists’
Gracism – I deserve to have grace but certain people who do not met my standards (because of who they are or what they have done to me), do not.
Gracist – a person who is quick to ask for and accept grace but refuses to extend that same grace to certain people.
QUESTION…
Have you ever been a gracist?
Do you ever practice gracism?
UNDERSTAND – ungrace, gracelessness, gracism and being a gracist is not okay! Not if, we want to follow Jesus.
AND SO - the master finds out that this guy, who had received incredible grace and forgiveness, was refusing to give it. Verse 32, it says,
Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.” - Matthew 18:32-34
QUESTION…
LIKE - how long is it going to take him in prison to earn 19.2 billion dollars. A very long time…like forever.
In other words… He’s never going to be able to pay it back.
SO - He’s going to spend the rest of his existence in prison, separated from the master, living with this overwhelming guilt over what he did.
NOW – many times Jesus ends a parable kind of vague.
Because He wants us to go home and think about it for awhile, reflect on the meaning and application…
BUT – not here.
INSTEAD HERE - -Jesus ends and wraps up this parable about as clearly as He can…
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.
- Matthew 18:35
NOW I KNOW - that are initial reaction, is to push back on that.
“What a minute… Steve are you telling me that if I don’t forgive the person who hurt me, who abused me, who betrayed me, who cheated me, who abandoned me, who lied about me, who… You’re telling me if I don’t forgive them God won’t forgive me?”
NO - I’m not saying that….
Jesus is.
UNDERSTAND MGCC…
The truth that Jesus is wanting to make perfectly clear in this parable, is that…
IF WE THINK – it’s okay to receive God grace and not give it
IF WE THINK - it’s okay to be forgiven and not forgive
IF WE THINK - it’s okay to bask in bitterness, to reside in resentment, to hold on to a HURT…
YEAH – I know it’s not fair. I know that.
Because those people owe you something, right?
I mean, it’s right here (in) black and white. They owe you something… They owe you, $19,200.
And no, it’s not right…
BUT – here’s the deal…
Jesus we will never ask you to give more grace and forgiveness than you have already received from Him. Amen?!
So Jesus answers Peter’s equation
When does my hurt become > your call to forgive
With an equation of his own. Here’s the equation Jesus gives and wants Peter to always remember….
His forgiveness is always > our hurt
19,200,000,000 is always > 19,000
HEY PETER - in case you weren’t sure, let me remind you that what you’ve been forgiven of, is so much greater than you’ll ever have to forgive.
AMEN?!
AND MGCC – please, please hear me… this is not to make light of what you will have to forgive.
I MEAN – often times 19,200… hurts, hurts a lot, hurts for a long time.
BUT – what I am trying to say, and I hope I am saying it well enough…
IS THAT - the more you understand the mercy and forgiveness that God has shown you, the more you realize will realize how true this is.
His forgiveness is always > our hurt
AND B/S - if this equation doesn’t make sense to you, if you do not want to accept it, then you don’t really understand the Gospel and you don’t really know yourself. YOU SEE…
If the biggest sinner you know isn’t you, then you don’t know yourself very well.
So we’ve been forgiven this debt, and the Bible says in Colossians 3:13… that we are to
forgive as the Lord forgave us.
NOW - as we wrap up, I just want to give you a few quick equations that will help you find freedom from HURT…
I. Forgiveness is > repayment.
OKAY - repayment is this idea that they have to make it right. That’s repayment. The person who hurt us has to make it right.
NOW - I grew up being taught as a child that if I hurt someone, if I was disrespectful, if I was disobedient—whatever it was—that my job was to make it right.
SO - I needed to say something or I needed to do something to make it right with that person.
WHICH – is a good lesson for a child to learn.
HOWEVER - it developed in my mind this kind of unbiblical approach to forgiveness and grace,
BECAUSE - here’s what I figured in my head:
When it comes to forgiveness, when someone hurts me, forgiveness comes when the person who hurt me makes things right.
Yeah, yeah.
WHEN THEY - say something, WHEN THEY - do something to make things right, THEN I will forgive them.
BUT - the problem is that’s not forgiveness.
It’s repayment. It’s justice.
SO – in the flesh, we want repayment….
BUT – let me ask you?
What do you do when you are hurt so badly that there’s nothing that can be said and there’s nothing that can be done to make it right?
UNDERSTAND - it’s going to happen (if it hasn’t already)—WHERE - someone does something to you that is so wrong and so hurtful that there’s nothing they can say or do to make it right.
That’s when biblical forgiveness comes in.
The Bible says in verse 27 that the master canceled the debt. The idea is that he erased it completely, right?
He didn’t just extend the note or make it interest only.
He canceled the debt.
MGCC - that’s what God has done for us. It’s not earned.
NOW TRUST - may need to be earned, but forgiveness is never earned.
THEREFORE…
WHEN YOU – make forgiveness dependent on the person who hurt you making things right, then you need to find a new word for it because it is not forgiveness.
forgiveness > repayment
NEXT,
II. Forgiveness is > revenge.
Now, maybe you’ve been hurt, (they should not of treated you that way), and maybe you have the power to get even but forgiveness releases that right –
IT SAYS NO – to getting even…
IT SAYS NO - to the ‘you hurt me, so I will hurt you back’ philosophy of life.
UNDERSTAND - if there is to be any justice to be served, we need to leave it in the hands of God, the perfect judge.
Rom. 12:19 says, "Do not take revenge my friends. Do not repay evil for evil. Leave room for God's wrath for vengeance is mine. I will repay says the Lord."
YOU SAY - “If I give up my right to get even with somebody who’s hurt me, that’s unfair.” You’re right. It’s unfair.
BUT - whoever said forgiveness is fair?
I MEAN - was it fair for Jesus to die on a cross and forgive everything you’ve ever done wrong and let you go scott free? Was that fair?
AND SO - we release the right to get even.
And that’s what it says in verse 27. It says,
“He canceled the debt and let him go.”
(He) let him go. Both hands…release him.
B/S – today 12/13/2020…
Jesus is telling you, commanding, calling, and inviting you and I to…
Let them go. - Let him go - Let her go.
It’s not fair. I know it’s not fair.
They don’t deserve it. I know they don’t deserve it.
I know that.
BUT – nevertheless let them go.
For your sake and for His fglory.
AND – let me be clear this (letting them go) doesn’t mean you’re not going to hurt.
UNDERSTAND – forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you won’t feel pain anymore.
IN FACT - in some ways forgiveness means that you are actually choosing to live with the pain and the consequences of another person’s sin, because they can’t make it right.
I mean, sure they can try and it might make you feel a little better for awhile.
But ultimately, when you’re really hurt, there’s nothing they can say and there’s nothing they can do. It’s just…it just hurts.
And that is where forgiveness comes in and does some of it’s most supernatural work.
Forgiveness is > repayment,
Forgiveness is > revenge
III. Forgiveness is > resentment.
NOW - resentment is this approach to hurt that,
“I’m just going to quietly become more and more angry about the situation,”
WHICH BTW - is how a lot of us handle hurt from the people we’re close to. We just keep…
• feeding the offense,
• reliving the pain
• rehearsing the hurt
• pushing the playback button in our minds, watching again and again how we’ve been taken advantage of or how we’ve been disrespected or how we’ve been mistreated.
AND SO – we just quietly become more and more angry.
BUT UNDERSTAND - when you choose resentment, do you know who ultimately pays for it? You do.
I MEAN – in Jesus’ parable, who is the one who winds up in prison, the one, who would not forgive.
QUESTION – have you ever meet a resentful person who was truly joyful and content?
Forgiveness is >… repayment, revenge or resentment
Amen?!
What a powerful story Jesus tells in Matthew 18 in response to not only Peter’s question but ours as well…
‘Lord, do I really have to forgive them, they hurt me so bad, they don’t deserve it at all... Lord when is my hurt > than your call to forgive? NEVER!
MGCC - we stand before a mighty and holy God with our sins piled up like a mountain. The mountain is so tall we can't get over it, so deep we can't get under it, so wide we can't go around it.
AND - that's everyone of us in this room right now.
Our sins are like a debt we could never pay…
NOT - in our lifetime,
NOT - in a 273,972 years or ever!
YES - we come as massive debtors to God, and we come with empty hands saying,
"God I can’t pay. It’s too much. It’s too big"
AND GOD - who is rich in mercy says,
"that’s okay ___________, I’ll pay it. I’ll forgive all your sins.
My Son will pay your debt with His blood.
Steve, you owe, but I’ll pay!"
MGCC – that is the perspective Jesus wants us to live out.
HE – wants His grace and His forgiveness to become a spring of living water welling up from within us and flowing out from us.
We are most like beasts when we kill. We are most like man when we judge. We are most like God when we forgive.
UNDERSTAND - God loves forgiveness.
AND – you know, I cannot think of one example in all of Scripture where God condemns and rebukes someone for being too forgiving.
OKAY - let me wrap up this conversation with this one idea,
The key to forgiving…I mean, the hard, messy, kind of forgiveness.
The key to forgiving is to stop thinking about what’s been done to you and to start thinking about all that Jesus has done for you.
That’s it. And it’s hard. I’m not saying that’s easy.
I’m just saying we have to stop.
When the bitterness starts to grow,
when the rage starts to set in,
We have to stop and we have to think.
We have to stop thinking about what’s been done to us and we need to replace it with thoughts of what Jesus has done for us.
Because when we remember what has been done for us it will help us walk the path that leads to freedom from HURT.
It was in a church in Munich that I saw him, a balding heavyset man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing out of the basement room where I had just spoken, moving along the rows of wooden chairs to the door at the rear.
It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives.
It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave them my favorite mental picture. Maybe because the sea is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s where forgiven sins were thrown.
“When we confess our sins,” I said, “God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever.”
The solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to believe. There were never questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood up in silence, in silence collected their wraps, in silence left the room.
And that’s when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones.
It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights, the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor, the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!
Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home during the Nazi occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at Ravensbrück concentration camp where we were sent.
Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: “A fine message, fräulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!”
And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course–how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women?
But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. It was the first time since my release that I had been face to face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.
“You mentioned Ravensbrück in your talk,” he was saying. “I was a guard in there.” No, he did not remember me.
“But since that time,” he went on, “I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fräulein”–again the hand came out–“will you forgive me?”
And I stood there–I whose sins had every day to be forgiven–and could not. Betsie had died in that place–could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?
It could not have been many seconds that he stood there, hand held out, but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.
For I had to do it–I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. “If you do not forgive men their trespasses,” Jesus says, “neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality.
Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion–I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.
“Jesus, help me!” I prayed silently. “I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.”
And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
“I forgive you, brother!” I cried. “With all my heart!”
For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then.
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