INTRODUCTION
Genesis 4:1-6 …”Why are you angry?”
Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, “I have acquired a man from the LORD.” Then she bore again, this time his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.
So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry?
APPROACH
Angry. Miffed. Huffy. Offended. Ticked off. Grumpy. Touchy. Hurt. Out of sorts. Irritated. Sore. Resentful.
We’ve all been angry from time to time.
Unresolved anger makes us unhappy, and damages relationships and community.
Lets explore anger this morning.
* What is anger?
* Why do we get angry?
* How does it relate to our spiritual health?
* How should we deal with it as Christians?
WHAT IS ANGER?
Anger is one of our basic emotions, such as: mad, sad, glad, afraid, ashamed.
Emotions are just symptoms of the various aspects of our health.
Anger is like the check engine light in your car. It tells you that something is wrong, and requires immediate attention.
Years ago my friend Nathan was driving his VW bug when the oil pressure light came on. (This was before Check Engine lights) He decided to ignore it until he got to the next town. Two miles later the engine overheated and seized up. If your oil pressure light comes on, do not keep driving. It requires immediate attention.
Anger is a sign that something is wrong.
WHY DO WE GET ANGRY?
A good explanation that I’ve found to be true is: Anger comes from believing your rights have been deliberately violated.
* Believing – have to be aware of the violation.
* Rights – your rights are based on laws such as the 10 commandments, federal law, state law, town ordinances, contracts.
* Deliberate - this shows disrespect rather than simple ignorance
In finding the cause for anger, look for rights that you think have been deliberately violated.
SO WHY WAS CAIN ANGRY?
Did God violate Cain’s rights? No, that would be out of character for God.
Perhaps Abel violated Cain’s rights?
1 John 3:12 …we should love one another, not as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother’s righteous.
This says that Abel did not violate Cain’s rights, and the whole thing was somehow Cain’s fault.
But we have a clue. Cain was “of the wicked one”. Who is that, and what is his character?
John 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.
Perhaps Cain believed a lie about his rights?
Testimonies for the Church Volume 5, p. 310 "Through Christ you may and should be happy and should acquire habits of self-control. Even your thoughts must be brought into subjection to the will of God and your feelings under the control of reason and religion. Your imagination was not given you to be allowed to run riot and have its own way without any effort at restraint or discipline. If your thoughts are wrong the feelings will be wrong."
If your thoughts are wrong the feelings will be wrong.
Illustration
I recall a story about a woman in an airport terminal, who bought a bag of cookies, and sat down to wait. She ate one cookie, then the stranger sitting by her reached over and took a cookie. She took another cookie, and so did the stranger. The nerve! How could they be so rude!
Finally, they boarded, and as she settled in, she found her unopened bag of cookies. She had been eating the stranger’s cookies.
If the thoughts are wrong, the feelings will be wrong.
Anger doesn’t come from what happens to us, but from how we interpret it through our beliefs. Our beliefs may be misbeliefs, based on a lie.
What were Cain’s misbeliefs about his rights?
He was angry with God because he believed he had the right to bring a substitute offering, even though God had spelled out the prescribed offering. God did not respect that assumed right.
So if he’s angry with God, why did he kill his brother?
Cain was angry with Abel because, as the firstborn, he believed he had the right to tell his younger brother Abel what to do. But Abel did not follow Cain in rebellion, and that disrespected his assumed leadership. Abel pleaded with Cain to bring the prescribed offering. Cain - "Don’t tell me what to do!"
When diagnosing anger, consider the possibility of misbeliefs about rights. Just because you are angry doesn’t mean someone has necessarily done you wrong.
Most of the anger and resentment in my life has not been from people violating my actual rights, but rather my misbeliefs about my rights.
WHERE DO MISBELIEFS ABOUT RIGHTS COME FROM?
We know the devil is the father of lies. Any media the devil controls is suspect.
* Advertising – you deserve a break today. You deserve to drive this car. To deserve is to say you have a right. I don’t have that right. I deserve to burn in hell, anything above that is a gift.
* How many Disney movies have the message, Follow Your Heart. You have a right to do what you want. Cain, just follow your heart. Do what you feel. Jeremiah 17:9 the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?
* We are capable of deceiving ourselves. We can do the devil’s job for him. We tell ourselves lies, then believe them because we trust the source. I need the Way, the Truth, and the Life to show me truth. I need this book (Bible) to set me straight.
* Romans 12:3 "For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. "
When we think of ourselves more highly than we ought, we imagine we have more rights than we do.
(add illustration here)
WHAT TO DO ABOUT ANGER
Understand why you are angry
Counselling
If you are having a painful emotion like anger that you can’t resolve on your own, seek counsel.
Genesis 4:6 So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
This is the first recorded counseling session in human history. I believe this sets a precedent for counselling.
Biblical counseling
There are many types of counseling, some more beneficial than others. The best counsel harmonizes with Bible truth.
What counsel did Cain get?
* Follow your heart. Do it your way.
* Express your anger. Get it out. Don’t bottle it up.
* Desensitize yourself to your anger triggers
* “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
The root issue with Cain was obedience to God, so that is how God counseled Cain.
The best counseling recognizes that the God who created us knows best how we should live.
Listen to your self-talk for the keywords “Should, ought, must”. That is often how we express our rights.
“God should accept my offering of vegetables” – I am claiming the right of substitution.
“Abel mustn’t tell me what to do” – I am claiming the right to leadership of my younger brother.
Are you claiming a legitimate right?
No?
Identify the lie. Drag it out from your subconscious into the cold light of day.
"It’s a lie that I have right to bring a substitute offering."
"It’s a lie that I have the right to tell Abel what to do."
Then tell yourself the truth about your rights. This step is crucial. You are informing your brain what your rights are, what it should and should not be angry about.
“What God requires is both clear and reasonable”
"God has a right to make the rules."
“My brother Abel is his own person, answerable to God. Abel cares about me, which is why he is pleading with me”
Restate your “right” as a preference
"It would be nice if they were quiet"
"It would be nice if ______"
I consciously tell myself the truth many times a day, because I need to. I’m a lot happier since developing this habit.
A very helpful book is Telling Yourself the Truth by William Backus and Marie Chapian.
We also tell ourselves other things that may not be true
* It’s going to be awful,
* I can’t stand it!
* I know what she’s thinking
* They always do that.
* I’m a nobody
But those are topics for another day.
Suppose someone has actually violated your real rights.
There is a biblical process for resolving that in Matthew 18:15. We’ll skip it for now.
You don’t have to demand rights.
Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.
CONCLUSION
As Christians, we have a different perspective on our rights.
The most important right is stated in Revelation 22:14 "Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city."
That puts our other rights into perspective.
Ministry of Healing, p. 485 We cannot afford to let our spirits chafe over any real or supposed wrong done to ourselves. Self is the enemy we most need to fear. … We should not allow our feelings to be easily wounded. We are to live, not to guard our feelings or our reputation, but to save souls. As we become interested in the salvation of souls we cease to mind the little differences that so often arise in our association with each other. Whatever others may think of us or do to us, it need not disturb our oneness with Christ, the fellowship of the Spirit… if you are ill-treated and wrongfully accused, instead of returning an angry answer, repeat to yourself the precious promises:
* Romans 12:21 Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.
* Psalms 37:5,6 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. And He shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noonday.
* Luke 12:2 There is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.
Finally, consider the rights Jesus laid aside for his mission to save souls
Philippians 2:5-8 "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being the in form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God"
* gave up position (right to honor)
* but made himself of no reputation (right to a good reputation)
* Poor (right to wealth)
* Questionable circumstances of birth - Jesus didn't look like Joseph. (right to good reputation)
* Bad neighborhood – can any good come out of Nazareth.
* Associated with “sinners”
* Taking the form of a bondservant (gave up right to command heaven's armies)
* And coming in the likeness of men (As a created being)
* And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death. (Right to life and justice)
* Even the death of the cross (Right to honorable death.)
APPEAL
Jesus was on a mission to save souls
And so are we
Why are *you* angry?
(Some other anger stories in the Bible)
* Jonah 4:4 Then the Lord said, "Is it right for you to be angry?" (Jonah thought God *should* destroy the Ninevites)
* 2 Kings 5 Naaman had wrong expectations about what Elisha *should* do.
* Matthew 20:1-16 Those who worked all day in the vineyard thought the owner *should* pay them more than the later hires.
