Paul writes his letter to the Philippian believers for several reasons, one of which was to break up a fight between two sisters in the church.
According to the Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy, fighting among people is usually over a piece of land.
Tolstoy wrote of a man who was told he could own as much land as he could walk around from sunrise to sunset.
He started at a leisurely pace, but as his ambition grew, so did his pace. Soon, his walk became a run and his run became a sprint. His body overheated. He stripped off his shirt and abandoned his boots, but would not slow his pace. By sunset, he had reached the very place where he had started.
He had driven himself to possess all the land. He lunged to reach the starting point, and there he collapsed and died. He wanted all the land and yet all he ultimately possessed was the 6 by 2 foot plot where they buried him.
Fighting in the church is usually over land, and the piece of land can be anything from a spiritual issue to the color of pew cushions. When a church becomes embattled, it is because her people have become territorial. The people are fighting among themselves to get what they want and no one is concerned with what God wants.
In order to squelch the squabble, Paul begins with the main characters of the brawl; afterwards he works his way out perhaps to people who were in her circle of friends. Lastly, he addresses the church at large.
1.) Paul pleads with the individuals involved:
Phil 4:2 - I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.
Paul begs, beseeches, and implores these women by name to stop their strife. The Greek word for “implore” or “plead (NIV)” is parakaleo, meaning to "to call alongside." This word is related to the Greek word for the Holy Spirit.
In essence, Paul is trying to bring peace in a situation where there is strife—Isn’t that what the Holy Spirit does for us?
Paul wants these women to “break it up” to “chill” and to “calm down.” But even more than exhorting these women to “peace and quietness” in the church, he wants them to be a peace with each other—thus he pleads with them “to be of the same mind in the Lord.”
The word “mind: here is phroneo, fron-eh'-o; and means to exercise the mind, i.e. entertain or have a sentiment or opinion. It means to interest oneself in; set the affection on.
Paul writes, “…be of the same mind…” He wanted these women to interest themselves in the same thing; to set their affections on the same thing. The arena of their interests, affections and opinions was to be “in the Lord.”
You can be interested in a lot of things but if your interests do not match your brother’s interests or if your sister’s affections do not match your affections there is going to be disharmony and friction. This is true in marriage or business relationships, etc.
This is why Paul says,
2 Cor 6:14 - Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
2 Cor 6:15 - What harmony is there between Christ and Belial ? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
2 Cor 6:16 - What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?…
Paul pleads with these women to “to be of the same mind in the Lord.”
2.) Paul pleads with their circle of friends or a common friend:
Phil 4:3 - And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.
No one knows the identity of Paul’s “true companion” mentioned in this verse. Some speculate it could have been Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, or Epaphroditus.
We are not to waste time trying to determine who this was and miss the point Paul was making: “help these women…”
Sometimes people who are in disagreement need some help to resolve their problems.
Sometimes people who are at odds with one another need a referee, an umpire, a mediator, or an arbitrator.
Paul writes, "…help them/these" In the Greek, the thought is “help them both” - "Help in the work of their reconciliation." (Alford) Obviously, something had caused the relationship of these two women to become estranged and reconciliation was long overdue.
Paul writes, “Help them both.” He wasn’t taking sides. He didn’t say “Help Euodia, because Syntyche is not walking with the Laud.” He didn’t say, “Help Syntyche because girlfriend Euodia is psycho.”
He says, ‘Help them both.”
Today when marriage counseling we say, “It takes two to tango” or “There are two sides to every coin…” In Paul’s day this truth was no less valid. It is so easy for us to take sides. But we need to take the side of Jesus and His Word! The Bible says, “Let God be true but every man a liar.”
How do we help? Let take a few moments to remind our body of the biblical steps of conflict resolution.
The Steps of Conflict Resolution (2 Corinthians 13:5; Matthew 18:15-20)
Step 1 - Examine yourself.
2 Cor 13:5 - Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?; unless indeed you are disqualified.
Galatians 5:23 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is “self control.” The verb form of this word is used, in 1 Corinthians 9:25 to refer to self-discipline in athletics: "And everyone who competes in a contest exercises self-control in all things."
The idea of the root of the word (egkrateia, eng-krat'-i-ah) group has to do with “holding” or “gripping” something. The self-controlled person is one who has a hold or grip on himself, especially on his desires or habitual responses.
That is precisely what the first step in the process of conflict resolution is all about-- persons who have such a grip on themselves that they are able to handle problems and relationships in the church and world without the need of help from others.
To be self-controlled does not do away with the strength and wisdom of the Spirit given through His Word, the Bible. We have already seen that “self control” is the fruit of the Spirit (i.e., the result of the Spirit's work) in a believer.
The self-controlled Christian is the sort of person who rarely gets into trouble with others because of indiscretions or carelessness with regard to what he says out of his mouth or what he does. And if and when he does offend someone, he quickly rectifies the situation on his own rather than waiting for others to bring it to his attention.
Step 2 – Tell him his sin alone
Mat 18:15 "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
Whenever an unreconciled condition exists between two believers Jesus says conflict resolution must be pursued.
Jesus uses the word "reprove" (NASB) or "tell" (KJV). The Greek word for this verb (elengcho) means "to expose to the light."
When you go to confront a brother or sister, don't just say, "Hey, I haven't seen you at church and I was wondering are you upset with so-and-so?" You and I must confront the person, exposing the sin so that he or she is aware of it and understands that they can’t get away with it. Take the time and effort needed to delicately handle this difficult task.
Step 3 – Take some witnesses
Mat 18:16 "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.'
This does not imply that you have been to him but once and, upon his refusal to listen, you move on. No. The refusal must be a genuine one. This means that if, in the heat of the battle, he will not listen to reason, you will wait until he has had time to cool off and then try again. Perhaps you will want to try several times before stepping up the process.
Verse 16 says, " BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED."
These are not one or two people who saw the sin or originally knew about it. Rather they are witnesses of the confrontation who can come back and confirm what was said. Their presence is as much a protection for the one being approached as it is for the one approaching.
Step 4 – Tell it to the church (elders)
Mat 18:17 "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
Progressing from step 3 to step 4 is a major transition. The church now officially administers church discipline. A brother under official discipline is in a danger zone and should be told so.
The hope and expectation is that conflict resolution never reaches the formal stage. Ordinarily, in a church that is comfortable with it, resolution occurs at stage 2 or 3. Very often when the process reaches the latter stages it is because there was a failure to exercise the steps of resolution at an earlier point before the rift or disagreement blows up into sin that has to be met with formal discipline.
"Telling it to the church" means telling it to those who are part of the body of Christ and more specifically those who are members of the local assembly. At this point, the world has no right to know about the matter. This means that it is not a good idea to stand up in the middle of a worship service (where there is a mixture of believers and unbelievers according to 1 Cor. 14:23-25) and declare what has happened.
The way we practice it at New Vision is that the elders are told about the situation at this level and we pursue the matter. If the issues don’t change and the person doesn’t want to resolve the conflict with the offended party, we let the church know about it at a closed meeting and proceed to step five.
Step 5 – Treat him as an outsider
Mat 18:17 "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
The elders announce to the membership at a closed meeting, with as little detail as possible, the nature of the problem.
At this point the congregation should do two things:
1.) No longer fellowship with him as if nothing were wrong (2 Thess 3:14-15).
2.) Seek to counsel him to repentance (Gal. 6:1).
I wish I could go into more detail here. If you want to learn more of this process outlined in Matthew 18, see our church secretary and we will get something to you with more detail.
The intent is that if you practice step one (examining yourself), then you won’t have to go to step two. Hopefully if you confront a brother or sister who sinned against you (step two) and they repent of their sin and you forgive them, then you don’t have to progress to step three, and so on.
When Paul writes to the Philippian believers concerning the conflict between two women, I believe he has Jesus’ words in mind.
Because the rift was already public knowledge he mentions the women by name and proceeds to exhort them to be reconciled. After this, he exhorts their friend to assist them in getting right with each other.
Phil 4:3 - And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.
These women were important to Paul. First, because they were sisters in Christ. Secondly, because they were co-laborers with Paul in the ministry of the Gospel.
Listen to what Paul says: “…help these women who labored with me in the Gospel…”
Paul was breaking the societal norms of the day. The culture of that day, whether it was the Roman culture or the Middle Eastern culture, taught that the woman’s place was either in the kitchen or the bedroom.
Christianity came and elevated the status of women. So Paul calls them “…co-laborers in the Gospel…”
I agree with the late Dr. J. Vernon McGee comments on this verse. He says, “I believe that the reason women become preachers is because women have not been given their proper place in the church.” I agree.
We are seeing more and more women becoming preachers and pastors in our day because many of them sense a calling in their lives to labor in the Gospel but aren’t being given the opportunity in the local church. So sadly, they step outside of the will of God for their lives to satisfy this God-given desire to serve the Lord.
I believe that God wants to use women who are willing to do ministry His way. The Bible teaches explicitly that He has reserved the pastorate for the male Christian but He chooses to use women in other ways.
We see women teaching in the New Testament. One such woman went by the name of Priscilla. She and her husband, Aquila, instructed a very gifted teacher named Apollos in Acts 18:24-26, Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and he spoke with great fervor and taught about Jesus accurately, though he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately.
Priscilla and Aquila are mentioned seven times in the New Testament and in all but two instances Priscilla is named first. In that culture it was the custom to name the husband first. The naming of Priscilla first seems to indicate that she was the more spiritually mature of the pair. So this passage suggests that Priscilla was probably the primary teacher. And her teaching must have been quite profound because Apollos was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures.
Apparently Apollos wasn’t the only one she taught. In Romans 16:3-5 we read, Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. Greet also the church that meets at their house.
In this passage, Paul calls Priscilla a fellow worker, who shared the same work of ministry that Paul did. And she did it repeatedly in other churches as well.
Romans 16 has other examples of women in significant ministry roles. 10 of the 29 people Paul commends for loyal service are women. In Romans 16:1, Paul commends Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea. The word “servant” is the Greek word diakonos, from where we get our word “deacon.” Phoebe was more than likely a deacon in the church in Cenchrea.
Paul goes on to say in verse 2, I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been a great help to many people, including me.
In Romans 16:7 we read, “Greet Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was.” In this verse Junias, a woman, is said to be outstanding among the apostles. She wasn’t one of the twelve apostles. Here Paul uses the term more broadly to mean, “messenger.” Apparently Junias was an outstanding messenger of the Gospel and Paul commends her for it.
There have been many women who have been great servants of the Lord in our time.
One such woman was Henrietta C. Mears. Henrietta C. Mears was one of the great Bible teachers of the 20TH century. While Christian Education Director at First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, she built one of the largest Sunday Schools in the world and wrote curriculum that was in such high demand that to publish it, she founded Gospel Light in 1933. Such notable Christian leaders as Richard C. Halverson, Louis Evans, Jr. and Bill Bright were among her students...
Billy Graham responded to a message she gave in 1947 and she became his mentor. Billy Graham once said of her: "I doubt if any other woman outside my wife and mother has had such a marked influence [on my life]. She is certainly one of the greatest Christians I have ever known!"
One of her classic books is the What the Bible Is All About Bible Handbook.
Back to our text. Paul’s point is:
To allow strife to continue between Euodia and Syntyche would be to impede the progress of the Gospel.
To allow the conflict between these sisters in the Lord to continue would be to hinder the advancement of God’s kingdom in that area.
Don’t you know that this is one of the main reasons Satan brings conflict in the church? He wants to “divide and conquer.”
2 Tim 2:23 Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.
2 Tim 2:24 And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
2 Tim 2:25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,
2 Tim 2:26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
First Paul writes to the women; then to their friend. Thirdly, he writes to the body of believers at large.
To Everyone:
Phil 4:4 - Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
The antidote to strife and disharmony is to rejoice! Not just rejoicing for the sake of rejoicing but rejoicing in the Lord.
Just in case someone may be asking in light of the strife that was going on in the church, “How can we rejoice when we got these sisters going after each other’s throats?” Paul repeats the command, “Again I say rejoice!” he says.
Just in case you think that Paul was someone who sat in his ivory tower apart for the troubles of the world let me introduce you to the Apostle Paul. Paul was not a sheltered man. He was not immune to trials and tribulations. Listen to Paul’s testimony (2 Corinthians 11):
24 Five different times the Jews gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26 I have traveled many weary miles. I have faced danger from flooded rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the stormy seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be Christians but are not. F36 27 I have lived with weariness and pain and sleepless nights. Often I have been hungry and thirsty and have gone without food. Often I have shivered with cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm. 28 Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of how the churches are getting along.
Even while Paul wrote this letter he was writing from prison. His trial was underway and he was facing the possibility of death for preaching that Jesus was King.
Yet he writes, “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!”
Many times we experience strife in the church because we are spending too much time moping over our own problems and circumstances rather than meditating on the things of the Lord.
Paul commands the Christian to “rejoice!”
The second thing Paul tells us to do is to be gentle to all.
Phil 4:5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
He uses a Greek word (epieikes) that means gentle, yielding, kind, forbearing and lenient.
These words all describe the kind of person who is willing to yield his personal rights and show consideration and gentleness to others.
Notice who we are to be this way with: all people.
It is easy to be gentle, yielding, kind, forbearing and lenient with people who are gentle, yielding, kind, forbearing and lenient to us.
However, Paul isn’t telling us to be this way with some people, he is commanding us to be gentle, yielding and lenient with all.
Sometimes strife comes when we attempt to say the right thing the wrong way. Sometimes we just need to say the right thing, the right way.
The Bible says, “Tell the truth in love.” (Ephesians 4:15)
Col 4:6 - Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Prov 15:1 - A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
Prov 25:11 - A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. This means, a word of counsel, or reproof, rightly spoken, is especially beautiful, as fine fruit becomes still more beautiful in silver baskets.
We need more gentlemen and gentlewomen in our churches today. Some of us don’t know how to talk to one another.
Paul goes on to say at the end of verse five, “The Lord is near.”
As I was growing up with my brothers and sisters there were many times we would get into arguments and disputes. When these things happened it was inevitable that one of us would say, “You just wait until Mom gets home…”
This is what Paul is saying to his Christian readers, “The Lord is near!” Paul is reminding his fellow believers that when Jesus, the Righteous Judge arrives, He will settle all differences. He will right all wrong.
When Jesus comes He will set in order the things that are lacking. He will make all things new. He will wipe away all tears from our eyes. He will take away the pain and suffering so that all of our arguments and disputes will seem trivial. The Lord is near!
The last word of encouragement that we are going to look at is found in verses six and seven.
Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
Perhaps one of the reasons why Euodia and Syntyche were fighting was anxiety in one or both of their lives.
Paul says, “Be anxious for nothing.”
The Greek word translated “anxious” or careful means “to be pulled in different directions.”
This is the person who is stretched between hope and fear, trust and doubt. Their hope pulls them in one direction and their fears pull them in the opposite direction; and they are pulled apart!
Closely related to the word anxious is the word “worry.” The Old English root from which we get our word “worry” means, “to strangle.”
Worry does strangle a person! In fact, the person who worries can pay the price physically with headaches, neck pain, ulcers, and even back pain. Worry affects our thinking, our digestion, and even our coordination.
Paul says in verse six, “Don’t worry about anything; tell God about everything!”
Tell God about your anxiety.
Tell God about that financial problem.
Tell God about that temptation.
Tell God about that person who irks you and is rubbing you the wrong way.
Tell God about that person who is starting to get under your skin.
Paul adds, “When you pray, make your requests known with thanksgiving.
This is the kind of attitude that acknowledges whatever God allows into our life is for our good.
It is the attitude that looks back and remembers the blessings that God has bestowed in our life.
Paul lets us know that if we pray, if we have an attitude of thanksgiving, we will experience God’s peace:
Phil 4:7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Before I explain what this peace of God is, let me say that the peace of God is only reserved for those who already have “peace with God.” God is not going to give you His peace if you are not at peace with Him.
In Romans 5:1 Paul tells us how we can have peace with God: Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ…
If you have surrendered your life to Jesus Christ as your Master and Forgiver you have peace with God and are eligible for the peace of God..
In verse seven, Paul doesn’t waste any time telling his readers what this peace was all about. He said it was “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding…”
Remember Paul’s circumstances? He was in prison, on trial and facing possible death. His circumstances were not “peaceful” in the least.
The peace of God has nothing to do with our circumstances. God rarely removes or changes our circumstances. This is why David says in Psalm 23:4, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
Death was all around him, casting its horrid shadow, but even in the valley of the shadow of death David was experiencing God’s peace.
I am told that in the center of a voracious tornado there is peace and calm. The Bible says in Job 40:6 – “Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind….”
When Daniel was told not to pray, he went to his room, opened his windows, and prayed like he always did (Dan. 6:1-10). The Bible says, he “prayed, and gave thanks before his God” (Dan. 6:10) and he made supplication (Dan. 6:11).
Paul says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God…”
This is exactly what Daniel did. He “prayed, and gave thanks before his God” and he made supplication.
And the result was perfect peace in the midst of difficulty! Daniel was able to spend the night with the lions in perfect peace, while the king in his palace could not sleep (Dan. 6:18).
“Peace with God” does not mean the absence of trials on the outside, but it means a quiet confidence within, regardless of circumstances, people, or things.
So when there’s trouble in the home, you can still experience God’s peace.
When there is trouble on the job, you can still experience God’s peace.
When there is difficulty with your friends, you can still experience God’s peace.
When the money runs out before the month does, you can still experience God’s peace.
No matter what folk may say or do, you can still experience God’s peace.
This is why Paul tells us “Don’t fight; rejoice!”
One more thing; Paul tells us that God’s peace “will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Paul was more than likely attached to a Roman guard while he was in prison. He tells his readers that God’s peace acts as a sentry to guard our heart (the seat of our emotions) and our thoughts from all anxiety and despair.
When anxiety comes God’s peace pulls up his AK-47 and tells anxiety to “move on.” He says to worry, “No entry here.” He says to fear, “Back off!”
This is how Paul can say, “Don’t fight; rejoice!”
Are you striving with someone at home, on the job or in church? Don’t fight; rejoice!
Are you anxious about everything? Then pray about everything, with thanksgiving and experience God’s peace.
His peace will grant you a quiet confidence within, regardless of circumstances, people, or things.
His peace will guard your heart and thoughts in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Do you want the peace of God? Then you need to be sure you have peace with God.
You can trust Jesus Christ as your Savior right now by faith through prayer. Prayer is talking with God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart.
The prayer I prayed went something like this: "Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. Thank you for rising from the grave so I can live too.
I open the door of my life and trust You as my Savior. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be. Thank You that I can trust You."
