How often have you heard someone say, “I’m just in a bad mood today”? How often have you said it? And would you not agree that part of the unspoken implication in that statement is: “I am therefore excused from any responsibility for anything that I might say or do while in this mood?” Is that not what we expect from people after we have made the pronouncement that we are in a bad mood? It’s like a disclaimer. It’s like we’re given a special privilege card that states we are excused from being held accountable for words, actions or responses while we are in this mood. So no longer can someone say to us: “That was a mean thing or inappropriate thing you said” or “That was uncalled for” or “That was wrong of you to do that or say that or respond the way you did” - no longer can someone say that to b/c in essence we are saying to them, “Normally you would be right in correcting me, but today I have this special privilege card that excuses me b/c I am in a bad mood.” Now obviously we don’t actually state this out loud, but people do have this kind of expectation of others - that expectation being - they should excuse & tolerate me today b/c I am in a bad mood. Problem is, we are not so forgiving when it’s the other person who is in a bad mood. Remember that little saying I’ve shared with you through the years: We make rules for others & exceptions for ourselves.
My reason for bringing all this up is for the purpose of discussing attitudes. We can be creatures of incredible mood swings. And we can allow circum-stances & people, even the weather to determine what kind of attitude we are going to have throughout a given day. Just think how often you have allowed your attitude to be manipulated or determined by circumstances, by a particular situation, by other people. That attitude may be one of being down, depressed, angry, frustrated, cranky (don’t bother mom/dad today, she’s in 1 of those moods), or lazy in that you just don’t want to do what needs to be done today. Attitudes. And as I said we allow circum-stances, situations & people to determine what kind of attitude we’re going to have.
There is a wonderful little true story called - “Transformation in an Elevator” - In the days before self-operating elevators, there was a lady who was an elevator operator in a large university in Japan. She could think of no more monotonous work than operating an elevator all day long. She was miserable & grumbled every time someone spoke to her.
One day it occurred to her that she could influence the young students to a brighter way of seeing life, but to do that she would have to change her own attitude towards life! So the next day she started with a smile on her face. It was extremely difficult for her, but by sheer will power she was determined to cheer up whoever rode in her elevator – so she began to practice that. Well, people noticed & as the years went by more & more people sought advice from her! Many were helped by her bright attitude & her optimistic view of life. She became a “Solver of Problems” as she was called.
When she finally died, a couple thousand people attended her funeral. She gained her “fame” b/c she changed her attitude about life, about her situation & desired the bright side for her, & for those with whom she came in contact. She refused to let her situation dictate or determine her attitude. And even though her situation didn’t change, she changed. Attitudes!
Someone has said, “There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance.” Haven’t you found that to be true? If you come at a situation, if you face a circumstance with a negative or disgruntled or a self-pitying type of attitude - does it not just make the whole thing that much worse?
But anyway, this elevator operator changed her whole outlook on life, change how people looked at her & even opened up an important ministry you could say - all b/c she chose to change her attitude even though her situation didn’t change. But it did change how she looked at it, didn’t it - and then freed her up to impact & help others. Attitudes!
So let me take you back to a Thursday afternoon, January 27, 2000. That Thursday afternoon I got involved in 1 of those situations that can quickly turn a day sour & “put you in a bad mood”.
This was 5 months before moving into our house across the street & for those of you who don’t know, we were living downtown in a 100+ year old house that we were caretakers for. Let me describe the situation for you: The hot water handle in our upstairs shower was leaking whenever the shower was running. I didn’t realize how significantly until a wet spot was discovered on the ceiling downstairs underneath the shower. So it needed to be fixed. Well, I wanted to see if it was something I could fix (no laughing) before I went to the expense of calling a plumber. I thought, “I probably can do this in an hour or two.” Now remember this was before YouTube videos, aren’t they wonderful?
The major problem that developed was (and I know how this is going to sound & probably provoke more laughter at my expense) – but the problem was or better yet the 1st problem was - I could not get the shower handle off to see the value stem in order to figure out where the leak was coming from. Now you have to understand this was an ancient house & that shower handle had probably been on there since the invention of shower handles. Anyway, 1) in trying to get the handle off & then 2) buying a new valve stem (which was involved in trying to find one that matched b/c it had been invented right before the shower handle was) & 3) buying the tools that were necessary to do all this work - I ended up going to Lowes 4x & Interstate Bolt 2x – so 6 trips that afternoon. And it just shot my whole afternoon AND evening. This was during the time we were building this building & I was supposed to join the guys that were working on it that night. That got knocked out.
I will say, thank the Lord, I got it fixed w/o having to call a plumber to fix it or fix the damage I did in trying to fix it, know what I’m talking about? It was definitely worthy of singing the Doxology over. But it was 1 of those extremely frustrating types of afternoons & it was impacting me negatively.
Well, as I was driving back home after my 2 trips to Interstate Bolt & my 3rd or 4th trip to Lowes & still not knowing if I might have to go back another time, as I was sitting at the traffic light at what is now the diverging diamond intersection their at I-40 & US 21, God so very clearly brought to my mind the question of, “Are you going to let this situation determine your attitude, are you going to allow this leaky shower handle to put you in a bad mood or are you going to live above the situation whether you have to go back to Lowes or not, whether you end up having to call a plumber or not? What is going to be your attitude in the midst of all this?” It was just 1 of those moments when God checks you in your spirit & says, “Alright, you’ve got a choice - which way are you going to choose? You can allow this situation to get you down, ruin your day, put you in a bad mood OR you can enjoy My companionship whether you have to go to Lowes 6x. What are you going to choose?” Ever had that experience when God checked you in your spirit? And you knew it was God speaking?
Chuck Swindoll has said, “This may shock you, but I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude is that `single string' that keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there's no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past - we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude - I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you.” Attitudes!
So how did you do this week in how you reacted to situations? We can be so easy on ourselves & focus on what that person did or the unpleasantness of the situation. We make it so easy to excuse ourselves b/c “you just don’t know what it was like.” We think our situation warranted issuing ourselves an excuse or exception. But whatever you faced this week, it wasn’t as bad as Victor Frankl.
Victor Frankl, was an eminent German Jewish doctor. He was arrested by the Gestapo during WWII. As he was being interrogated by the Nazi secret police, Frankl was stripped of all his possessions - his clothes, his jewelry, his wedding band. His head was shaved. He was repeatedly taken from his prison cell, placed under bright lights, & questioned for hours. He endured years of indignity and humiliation by the Nazis before he was finally liberated. He underwent many savage, senseless tortures. He was destitute, a helpless pawn in the hands of brutal, prejudiced, sadistic men. He had nothing or so he thought until it occurred to him 1 day that there was 1 thing the Germans could never take from him - he still had the power to choose his own attitude. No matter what anyone would ever do to him, regardless of what the future held for him, the attitude of choice was his to make. Bitterness or forgiveness. To give up or to go on. Hatred or hope. Determination to endure or the paralysis of self-pity.
Now the question is: how you discovered what Victor Frankl discovered? That no matter how bad the day is at work or home, no matter how insensitive your mate is, no matter how frustrating the children are or your parents or your siblings are, no matter whatever - you still have the freedom to choose what your attitude is going to be in response to all that & in the middle of all that.
I guess 1 of the problems is many times we are not even aware we are making a choice; we’re not tuned into the choices we are making. This came to me so clearly 1 day when I thought about that little phrase every one of us probably said as a child. Maybe our parents found us crying & stewing in our rooms or we were being corrected for hitting someone but the phrase that came out of our mouth in terms of an explanation was: “He (she) made me mad.” And it occurred to me - that person didn’t make me mad. Oh, they may have been cruel & unkind but it was still MY choice how to respond. They did not MAKE me mad; I chose to be mad. See, Frankl had it right - we always have the freedom to choose what our attitude will be.
On that Thursday afternoon I had a choice, no matter how many times I had to go to Lowes, no matter if I had had to call a plumber - I still had a choice how I was going to respond within the situation - and so do you in the situations you face. What are you going to choose?
Now please understand this is not some pep talk about the power of positive thinking. There’s some benefit in that like it did for the elevator operator for there was no indication she was a follower of Christ. But I’m talking about something far superior than just positive thinking.
Turn to Psalm 42:11 for King David offers us some helpful insight here
• Psalm 42:11 - Why are you in despair (cast down, discourage, down in the dumps), O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God (NLT: I will put my hope in God), for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.
• AMP: Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the help of my countenance, and my God.
So David recognized the situation he was in had impacted him negatively so that he’s downcast, discouraged, even down in the dumps as The Message paraphrases it. But David also recognized he had a choice. He decided that being imprisoned to his down-cast soul was not a right condition for a person who believed a loving God was in control of his life. So he made a choice & note the dramatic change of attitude in this 1 verse.
David changed from being dominated by a downcast soul to praising God! What happened? He made a choice to bring God into his mindset for confronting the issue(s) that had led him into being downcast. Strengthened with his hope/trust in God & all He is, trusting that supernatural resources were available, his attitude changed from a downcast soul into one of praise to the faithfulness & adequacy of God for his needs.
Again, we are so often unaware that we have made or are making a choice. So we say, I’m just in a bad mood today. I’m just down today.” And we say as if it we had no control over it, as if it was something that just happened - not realizing that we made a choice. Well, apparently David had done that but then came to the realization that he did have a choice. And so he says, “I’m not going to say in this downcast condition. I choose to put my hope in God, focus on Him & praise Him. Simple, yet so profound & powerful!
Paul lived this way too. Remember what he said in 2 Corinthians 5:8-10: “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” The situations he experienced were bad, but there was a choice in how he was going to respond to them.
How do we go about changing our attitude, choosing the right attitude when the situation cries out for us to respond with being in a bad mood, to respond negatively? Well, there’s no great secret to doing it. There’s no multi-step plan you have to follow. It simply involves knowing you are faced with a choice, then calling upon the Lord, telling Him you are trusting Him for the grace to choose the right attitude over the way you naturally feel, whether the situation or the person changes or not. That’s it! Don’t try to complicate it.
Understand there’s a surrender involved in this as you trust the Lord. There was a surrender I had to make on that Thursday afternoon. “Lord, I give up, I release this situation to You & whatever is still involved” b/c I wasn’t at the end of it yet. Surrender - that’s important! And I understand we can struggle with surrendering it but if you don’t, you’ll stay imprisoned to your feelings & your situation. You have to surrender it to the Lord.
We’re kind of back to what we talked about 3 weeks ago on how to conquer anger by surrendering or yielding up my rights or expectations & then by God’s enabling grace, focusing on my God-given responsibilities in a particular situation. On that Thursday, it took a surrendering of the expectations I had of fixing a plumbing problem & 1) trusting God with it & 2) enjoying the Lord’s companionship in the mist of it regardless of how it played out.
And I don’t know about you, but isn’t is exciting, encouraging & fortifying to your soul to sense, really sense, the Lord’s very presence in the midst of a situation. And I would have missed that reality if I had held on to my bad mood! I would have missed it!
I don’t want to be dependent on my circumstances to determine how I feel, to determine whether I have a good day or bad day. Yes, it is a battle not to give in to our feelings - I know it’s a battle, a daily battle & sometimes a minute by minute battle - but we’ve got to be convinced it’s a winnable battle. And I’m here to tell you that it is!
1 last thought: this whole area of attitudes & being in a bad mood b/c of something that has happened has bearing on our Year Verse. And what I mean is our tendency is to pray, “Lord, change or fix this situation, change that person. Lord, save me from this hour” (to use the words from our verse). How might we our whole attitude be changed if we prayed instead, “Father, glorify Your name in this situation”? Glorify Thy name by my response to a leaky shower handle.” To pray that shifts our focus off the unpleasantness of the situation is to a higher focus on God & Him being glorified through my life.
And you know what? God was glorified in the life of just a common man sitting at a traffic light on a Thursday afternoon b/c he chose to enjoy the companionship of the Lord instead of being in a bad mood. And He is still being glorified as I share it with you & challenge you with the truth He taught me.
