The text we’ve been dealing with over the last three lessons teaches what God has required of the older men and women of the church.
Titus 2:1 But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine:
Titus 2:2 that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience;
Titus 2:3 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
We’ve been learning that older men and women were to be like Christ. The reason older men and women were to model the character of Christ is because they were to instruct, by word and example, the younger men and woman how to become Christ-like.
Titus 2:4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
Titus 2:5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
Titus 2:6 Likewise exhort the young men to be sober-minded…
Last time we learned that the older women were to train the young women. The word train in Titus 2:4 is also related to the word translated “temperate/self-controlled” in Titus 2:2, and probably should be translated, “train by making sober-minded.”
This word also means, “to recall a person to his senses” because when a person is not sober, they are inebriated or lacking the full and complete use of their senses. This is why someone under the influence of drugs or alcohol should not drive or operate machinery.
There are some spiritual faculties that young men and women need to be called to use.
Young men and women were to be taught to think spiritually and act spiritually. The older men and older women were to assist the younger men and women to think spiritually and act spiritually.
In verse 3-5 he focuses primarily on how the older women were to “indoctrinate” or teach the younger women.
Let’s use our mind’s eye for a moment and imagine the kinds of books the older woman would use to teach this material to the younger woman. Listen to what might be the title to these books:
“How to Blow Your Husband’s Mind” (Loving your husband)
“How Not To Raise Spoiled Brats” (Loving your children)
“Putting a Muzzle on your Mouth” (Being sensible or discreet)
“Every Young Woman's Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World” (Being pure)
“Home Management 101” (Becoming workers at home)
“Cruella De-vil You Are Not” (Being a woman of kindness)
“Treating your Husband Like a King So He Will Treat You Like a Queen” (Being subject to your own husbands)
Why were the older women to teach the younger women to have these characteristics? Paul gives the answer at the end of verse 5: “…that the Word of God may not be blasphemed.”
Let's open each of these imaginary books in order to get a brief overview of each of these assignments.
“How to Blow Your Husband’s Mind” (Loving your husband)
philandros - fil'-an-dros. Means “fond of (her) man, i.e. affectionate as a wife. She was to be his friend.
It is interesting that the Scripture issues this command in a time when many women were treated as less than citizens. In our Western society, a man and a woman fall in love and then hopefully get married; but in the East, marriages were not as romantic.
In a great many pagan marriages of the first century, the husband was much older than his wife. It was a commonly accepted practice for the man to sleep around with many women and take on a wife only to father legitimate children. There was little communication, cooperation, or affection—or expectation of these. Often the two got married and then had to learn to love each other.
In view of this, the encouragement to young women was to “be affectionate” and to be her husband’s friend.
Respect to a man is synonymous with love and affection.
* Respecting your husband means not throwing his mistakes back in his face.
* Respecting your husband means not speaking rudely to him.
* Respecting your husband means not embarrassing him in public or badmouthing him to others (not even to your girlfriend or your mother).
Respecting your husband is probably the most important thing you can do in order to be your husband's best friend. No man feels “believed in” when his wife second guesses him or badmouths him.
When a wife supports her husband, he feels respected. When he feels respected, he feels loved.
If a wife respects her husband in the presence of the children…if she respects and reverences her husband in the presence of her friends and his friends, she will blow his mind. She will make him feel like a king and more often than not, he will treat her like a queen.
Let me interject something here. The U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics reported that Black women and men suffer from the highest rates of domestic violence. "Black females experienced domestic violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black males experienced domestic violence at a rate about 62% higher than that of white males and about 22 times the rate of men of other races."
I present these statistics to you because I think they are related to what we are talking about. It is obvious from these statistics that there is a lot of friction in the relationships of black men and women.
Despite what people say, there still is a lot of racial discrimination in our society. It may not be as blatant as it was in the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries but it still exists.
Black men, who in my opinion, have been conditioned to believe that society owes them something (listen to the lyrics of today’s rap music), go out and are treated as less than a man in the culture (again, listen to the lyrics of today’s music) and then return to the home and are disrespected by women who have been conditioned by the culture to be “manly” or, of necessity, had to be a man in order to survive as a single parent.
This is not a good mix. In fact, it is like mixing two unstable elements…
Notice there are no conditions to the command for the woman to love her husband; there are no qualifiers—“if he acts ok, then you can act affectionate.” Biblical love, “suffers long and is kind; … does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Christian love is demonstrated with no thought or expectation of receiving anything favorable in return. The Bible teaches that “God demonstrated His own love for us while we were still sinners.” (Rom. 5:8)
The young women were to be taught to love their husbands—to be his friend—even those who were unlovable.
This corresponds to the writing of Peter in 1 Peter 3:1-2 - “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by respect for him.”
“How Not To Raise Spoiled Brats” (Loving your children)
Paul says to Titus in verse 4, “Encourage the older women that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children…”
Someone might be thinking, “Why would a mother have to be taught to love her children?” One has to understand what was going on in the time in which Paul write this letter.
In the Greek culture of the first century, children were seen as either a blessing or a burden. Many during this time firmly believed in what today would be called family planning.
The typical family was kept small, and the children, who for a variety of reasons were burdens for their family, were often aborted before birth, sold into slavery, and sometimes literally left on the side of the road.
This however, was not considered to be murder by society at large because children did not have intrinsic value, but rather were bestowed value once they were accepted by the father into society. A message sent from a husband to his wife in 1 B.C. illustrates this:
I beg and entreat you, take care of the little one, and as soon as we receive our pay I will send it up to you. If by chance you bear a child, if it is a boy let it be, if it is a girl, expose it.
In the first century there was also the practice of ritualistic child sacrifice to appease the pagan deities. Thus Paul was writing to Pastor Titus instructing him that the older women were to teach the younger women, many who were saved from paganism, to love their children.
Well some things have changed since the first century and some haven’t. The pagan religions of the 21st century—mainly hedonism, the worship of self, often requires the sacrifice of children too. Many of our pleasures are obtained at the expense of our children.
When a child is aborted, the mother is communicating that she loves herself more than the child. She doesn’t want to put her life on hold so that she might take the time to raise a child. The child is an inconvenience.
Many women who allow the pregnancy to continue and have the child, have demonstrated that the child or children are inconveniences. You hear horror stories about women leaving their young children home alone while they go out to party.
There was evidence that Casey Anthony used chloroform on her daughter Caylee in order to put her to sleep so she could go out to party with her friends. There are countless stories of young mothers doing similar things that don’t make the public spotlight.
Young women today still need to be taught to “love their children.” One way that parents love their children is to discipline them.
Heb 12:5 Have you forgotten the encouraging words which God speaks to you as his children? "My child, pay attention when the Lord corrects you, and do not be discouraged when he rebukes you.
Heb 12:6 Because the Lord corrects everyone he loves, and punishes everyone he accepts as a child."
Heb 12:7 Endure what you suffer as being a father's punishment; your suffering shows that God is treating you as his children. Was there ever a child who was not punished by his father?
Heb 12:8 If you are not punished, as all his children are, it means you are not real children, but bastards.
Heb 12:9 In the case of our human fathers, they punished us and we respected them. How much more, then, should we submit to our spiritual Father and live!
Heb 12:10 Our human fathers punished us for a short time, as it seemed right to them; but God does it for our own good, so that we may share his holiness.
Heb 12:11 When we are punished, it seems to us at the time something to make us sad, not glad. Later, however, those who have been disciplined by such punishment reap the peaceful reward of a righteous life.
And we all should be familiar with the Old Testament passages on this subject:
Prov 13:24 If you don't punish your children, you don't love them. If you do love them, you will correct them. (GNB)
Prov 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him chastens him early. (MKJV)
The older women are to teach the younger women how to love their children (so they won’t grow up to be spoiled brats).
“Putting a Muzzle on your Mouth” (Being sensible or discreet)
"…to be discreet, chaste, workers at home, kind, being in subjection to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed..." (Titus 2:5 ASV)
“Discreet” is our word sober-minded or temperate found in verse two. It describes an attitude of mind that leads to cautiousness and self-control in life. The young woman is to be taught to have a seriousness of purpose. She knows what God has called her to as a woman and she disciplines herself in order to accomplish His purposes.
She disciplines herself in the arena of her passions, especially her sexual desires. She disciplines her thought life. She guards her mind and heart.
* Proverbs 4:23 - “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”
* Mark 7:21-22 "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.”
The young woman who is “discreet” does not fill her mind with filth. She does not poison her mind with references to “love” that are not biblical…like the kind found in much of the music our young people are listening to today.
The young woman who is “discreet” guards her heart and mind from things that would not please her Savior, Jesus Christ. Paul wanted the older women to teach the younger women to have an attitude of mind that leads to cautiousness and self-control in life.
This is the kind of woman who is cautious about where she gets her counsel. If she spends more time getting wisdom from talk shows and reality TV than from the Scriptures, she is not a discreet woman.
Last time we noted that one of the reasons that the Bible warns the woman against gossip several times is because women are more relational and conversationalists. Women use around 25,000 words each day and men only 10000.
And so here in this section of Scripture the young woman is to be taught to be discreet. She not only guards her heart, she guards her mouth. In Matthew 12:34 Jesus says, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”
Col 4:6 says, “Your speech should always be pleasant and interesting, and you should know how to give the right answer to everyone.”
If she is married, 1 Peter 3:1 says she wins her unbelieving husband “without a word.”
Proverbs 21:9 says there is nothing worse for a man than a contentious woman—“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Verse 19 says, “Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.”
Proverbs 27:15-16, “ A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike; Whoever restrains her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand.”
We learned last time from 1 Timothy 5:13 that she is not to be a gossip and a busybody, meddling in other people’s affairs. She is to be discrete.
The next topic we will spend the most time on and finish the list in Titus 2 next time.
“Every Young Woman's Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World” (Being pure)
"…to be sober-minded, chaste, workers at home, kind, being in subjection to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed..." (Titus 2:5 ASV)
“Chaste” comes from hagnos (hag-nos') and means “pure of mind and heart.” She is to be pure in mind and heart as well as in action. Hagnos refers primarily to moral purity, and, especially in this context, to sexual purity and marital faithfulness.
Young women are to be pure—they are to be faithful to the Lord with respect to their sexuality.
There is no doubt that in today’s culture, “skin is in.” But like the older women (Paul in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says) the young women are "to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not (merely) with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness".
If you claim to be a godly woman, the way you dress ought to support your claim. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”
The Bible says the young women are "to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly.” The word “modesty” comes from a Greek word that means “shamefacedness.”
"Modesty" refers to a healthy sense of shame when it comes to talking, behaving, or even dressing in a way that could cause a man to lust.
1 Th 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;
1 Th 4:4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
1 Th 4:5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;
1 Th 4:6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.
1 Th 4:7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.
God commands both men and women to possess their bodies in a way that doesn’t “defraud” their brother or sister in Christ.
To defraud means “to cheat.” How do you cheat your brother or sister? The context of this passage of Scripture is sexual immorality. You cheat your brother or sister by arousing in them sexual desires that they cannot satisfy in a righteous manner.
* Sisters defraud their Christian brothers by flaunting their sexuality—men are defrauded through the eye gate.
* Brothers defraud their Christian sisters by flattery or romance when their motives aren’t sincere or pure—women are defrauded through the emotion-gate.
Peter writes in 1 Pet 3:3, “And let not your adornment be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses…”
What is Peter saying here?
* Is he prohibiting the wearing of jewelry, as many would have us to believe?
* Is he saying that it is unbiblical for women to braid their hair?
If he is prohibiting the braiding of hair and the putting on of jewelry, then he must also be prohibiting the wearing of clothing.
What Peter is saying, as well as Paul in 1 Timothy chapter 6, is that the Christian woman should pay more attention to the inner appearance than she does the outer person. The Bible is also saying that she shouldn’t be dressing herself in a way that is flaunting or showy and calling attention to herself.
This begs the question, especially in our day, “Does the Bible give the Christian a “dress code?”
There is an interesting passage of scripture in the Old Testament that deals with the topic of modesty. The subject is the modesty of the priests.
Exodus 20:25-26 says, “If you make an altar of stones for me, do not build it with dressed stones, for you will defile it if you use a tool on it. And do not go up to my altar on steps, lest your nakedness be exposed on it.” The Bible is saying here that altars were never to be built so high that they needed steps.
The passage is clear. Altars were never to be built that required the priests to access them by way of steps because the Lord did not want people to see under his clothes as he climbed the steps.
Later in Exodus we learn some more of God’s concern for the modesty of the priest. Exodus 28:42 says, “Make linen undergarments to cover their nakedness, reaching from the waist to the thigh. Aaron and his sons must wear them whenever they enter the Tent of Meeting or approach the altar to minister in the Holy Place, so that they will not incur guilt and die. This is to be a lasting ordinance for Aaron and his descendants.”
We understand three things from this passage:
They were to wear under garments for the purpose of covering their nakedness.
The under garments they wore was to cover from the waist to the thigh.
To uncover their nakedness was to incur guilt and was a capital offense.
According to the dictionary, the thigh is, “the part of the human leg between the knee and the hip.” (Webster's New World Dictionary, College Edition, 1968).
We learn more about God’s opinion of what represents immodesty in a passage of Scripture found in Isaiah chapter 47. Here Isaiah prophesied judgment against Babylon, who took Israel into captivity. Babylon is compared to a young woman who once was a virgin but became a prostitute.
The passage says, “Take the millstones and grind meal. Remove your veil, Take off the skirt, uncover the thigh, pass through the rivers. Your nakedness shall be uncovered, yes, your shame will be seen; I will take vengeance, And I will not spare any man.” (vs. 2-3)
One cannot escape the fact that her shame came from uncovering the thigh. In God’s sight, she was no longer considered pure. Her immodesty is spoken of as shameful. She was dressing in a way that would make a chaste woman "shamefaced.”
Let me remind you that as Christians, we form our convictions from the Word of God, not Teen Vogue magazine. We live in the world but we are not to be of the world (John 17:14).
In the early 1800’s swimsuits consisted of bloomers and black stockings and undergarments. By the 1880's the "Princess" cut was introduced, consisting of a blouse and trousers in one piece. There was also a separate skirt that fell below the knee and buttoned at the waist to conceal the figure. A ruffled cap or a straw hat completed the outfit.
The beginning of the 1900’s marked a new daring era in swim wear for women and more skin was exposed. In 1909, Australian Annette Kellerman was arrested in the United States for wearing a loose, one piece suit that became the generally accepted swimsuit for women by 1910. During this time a man could be arrested for “indecent exposure” if he were found on the beach exposing his chest.
Soon after this began the trend of swimsuits becoming lighter and briefer. The apron disappeared by 1918, leaving a tunic covering the shorts but matching stockings were still worn.
In 1960, Brian Hyland’s Itsy-Bitsy Teenie-Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini climbed the record charts. Today it is not uncommon to walk the beach and find women sunbathing topless.
As the world goes, the church is not too far behind. As the world has progressively been losing its modesty, church folk are also losing their inhibitions toward exposing their nakedness. But the Word of God has not changed.
Christian women are "to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not (merely) with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness…"
How do we dress modestly? Four principals (not rules or codes):
Modest clothes do not overexpose the skin. There are just some parts of the human body that are not to be seen—you reserve exclusively them for your spouse—your wife or husband. You also don’t want to dress in a way that could cause someone to have impure thoughts.
Adorning yourself modestly doesn’t mean dressing like the Amish. There is a way to dress “fashionable” without over exposing yourself. It may take extra time and effort, but pleasing God is worth it, isn’t it?
Modest clothes are those that fit the occasion. If you are attending an event and your clothing is considered by those around you to be inappropriate for the occasion, then you are not dressed modestly.
The clothing you wear may be offensive to some, and reflect a bad choice for the occasion. On the other hand, what is "appropriate" may vary according to personal opinion so we should at least try to determine what others generally expect before attending an event.
There are restaurants that will not serve you if you enter their establishment without a shirt and shoes. Others places would deem your dress inappropriate if you do not come wearing a jacket if you are a man and a dress if you are a woman. Modest clothes fit the occasion.
Modest clothing is moderate and sensible. Wild, outrageous, and shocking clothes, hair, and makeup are worn for the purpose of calling attention to the person wearing them and oftentimes to disturb others. Many dress this way so as to make a statement concerning themselves and the values or morals they subscribe to.
For example, I remember watching a video of a popular Christian choir in concert. In the video, all the choir members come dressed in soft fall colors but there is this one man (who is not the director) but shows up in a “Clorox white” suit! He was not being modest.
Some of our kids are dressing themselves in the fashion of their favorite music artist with no regard whatsoever to why the artist or performer dresses this way. They are doing things to their bodies, like piercing certain parts, not even knowing what it means.
As Christians we do not want to call attention to ourselves. John the Baptist said, “He must increase; I must decrease.” (John 3:30)
Modest clothes do not excessively broadcast one's wealth or express the sin of materialism. This is precisely what Paul describes as being immodest in 1 Timothy 2:9.
New Testament churches were composed of both the poor and the wealthy. Paul tells those who could afford lavish attire to steer clear of pompously flaunting their wealth in this way. The message we should communicate by our clothing is that we are not materialistic and that fashion and clothing are not our gods.
On the other hand we shouldn’t be quick to judge someone who wears “expensive-looking” clothes. If God has blessed them with the ability to purchase such clothing and they are also faithfully supporting His kingdom work—they are not sinning.
You also need to take into consideration that we have people who know how to shop. They know where the deals are. They know how to get the most out of a dollar bill. There are people who can purchase at a discount and look like they paid an “arm and a leg”.
The thing, however, we need to consider is how many of us find our esteem or value in what we wear. Our clothes or hair can cause us to have a good day or a bad day, an “up” day or a down day.
What we ought to do instead of trying to impress others by the clothes we wear is strive to reflect godliness in our actions. We ought to find our esteem, not through our clothing but in God.
Now this is not to say that we should avoid being fashionable altogether. There are youth leaders that dress “hip hop” because that is the generation he is trying to reach for Christ. But, in clothing himself, he is careful not to violate the first three principals of modesty we have learned.
Does the Bible have a “dress code?” Yes. God is more concerned about how we clothe ourselves on the inside.
Col 3:12-14 – “And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”
1 Peter 5:5 – “…clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.”
Rom 13:14 - “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.”
This is where discipleship begins. Have you put on the Lord Jesus Christ? Have you trusted Him as your Savior? Man looks on the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.
Next time we are going to deal with a subject that is not talked about much in the church.
The subject we are going to be dealing with is one that older women and older men ought to be discussing with younger men and women.
We are going to teach on the subject of dating. Is dating biblical? And if not, does God have an alternative for this practice.
