The Habit of Fellowship - Participating in God's Family
Why Don't We fellowship?
Fellowship is one of the five purposes for the church, however, there is an obvious failure on many in the body of Christ to fellowship. Why then do we not fellowship?
One reason is that the isolation habits of the world have made inroads into the church.
David Watson, author of Called & Committed, writes, "We find it safer to maintain an image, to put on a mask, to hide our real selves. This explains why many churches never demonstrate the quality of community life that Jesus wants us to experience, and why there are so few (if any) real disciples."
Keith Miller who wrote the book, The Taste of New Wine, described the predicament like this; "Our churches are filled with people who outwardly look contented and at peace but inwardly are crying out for someone to love them...just as they are--confused, frustrated, often frightened, guilty and often unable to communicate even with their own families. But the other people in the church look so happy and content that one seldom has the courage to admit his own deep needs before such a self-sufficient group as the average church meeting appears to be.".
David Watson, Called & Committed, (Wheaton, Illinois, Harold Shaw Publishers, 1982) p. 31 Quoting Keith Miller, The Taste of New Wine (Word Books, 1965), p. 22
Many in the church do not fellowship because they find it safer to maintain an image, to put on a mask and to hide the real self.
Another reason why we don't fellowship is that society has duped us into thinking that fellowship is synonymous with the isolationism of a cult. You know the picture: A young person is drawn into a group that steals his or her freedom and identity. The parents, who are at their wits end, hire a deprogrammer to liberate their loved one.
Did you know that in the first century Christianity was considered a cult by the Jews and Romans? According to the Bible members of the early church ate meals together, worshipped together, shared their possessions with one another, met each other's needs, and aggressively spread the Gospel message. They were even held accountable for how they lived.
Today, many would label a group of people with these characteristics as a "cult." This is because the Devil is the master of combining truth and error. He has taken the positive characteristics of the church and combined it with an improper hermeneutic. He has taken what God has deemed good and laced it with spiritual arsenic so when people are exposed to a semblance of Christian community, they become suspicious.
When Christians come together on a regular basis to serve one another, to pray for one another and to share with one another when it is no longer the norm, one's mind can't help but to think of the likes of Jim Jones, David Koresh and others who dared to experience fellowship and community without Christ.
As a result, the contemporary church is throwing the baby out with the bathwater. In order to avoid being found to belong to a cult, or at the very least, being labeled as a cult member, we keep ourselves at "arms length" from one another. We refuse to allow ourselves to become drawn into a situation where we feel we might become entrapped.
This reminds me of the Borg. The Borg is a species of aliens featured in the Star Trek series. The Borg, an enemy of the Federation and the rest of the universe is a collective of part machine and humanoid entities. They are linked together by the common purpose of going around and invading other species and assimilating the captives into their collective. They go around and steal your identity and force you to become part of the collective. The Borg’s catch-phrase is “We are the Borg, we are one.”
The worst thing that can happen to someone is to be captured by the Borg and assimilated.
* No one wants to feel confined. We want to come and go as we please.
* We do not want to be accountable to anyone and we don’t want anyone to be accountable to us.
* We want the freedom to go where we want, with whom we want, to do what we want and to say what we want—without anyone looking over our shoulders and breathing down our necks.
* We do not want to have to exercise commitment and responsibility.
* We do not want to depend on anyone or to have anyone to depend on us.
Many in the church are afraid of being assimilated. As a result, they disobey the Scriptural exhortations to:
* Bear one another's burdens
* Be devoted to one another
* Honor one another
* Confess our faults to one another
* Teach one another
* Submit to one another
* Encourage one another
I know a guy who every now and then misses time on his job just to prove to himself that his job doesn't have mastery over his life. I believe that there are some who do the same when it comes to church--they need to convince themselves that they are still in control of their life and not some pastor or some church.
This fear of fellowship extends into other areas of church life.
Some of us didn't feel that comfortable with Agape Dinner because eating caused you to let your guard down and you aren't quite ready to do that on a regular basis.
I think this is why some aren't willing to take on ministry responsibility because they do not want someone to have to depend on them. "Isn't it enough that I have to report to work each day?" they reason.
The Devil has duped us into being afraid of fellowship.
Fellowship Defined
The word fellowship comes from the Greek word, koinonia, koy-nohn-ee'-ah which is translated in a variety of ways in the New Testament such as: partnership, or participation, (social) intercourse, or (financial) benefaction. It can also mean communication; communion, and distribution.
Fellowship is the bond of common purpose and devotion that binds Christians together and to Christ.
Someone has defined “fellowship” as “two fellows in a ship.” I think there is something to that definition because if you and I were lost on a ship together, we would both be working together in order to survive and find our way home. Not only would be together in the same physical location, we would also be bound together by one purpose and that is to get home.
Why Is Fellowship So Important? (Seven reasons why fellowship is so important)
1. You belong in God's Family With Other Believers
"Let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Gal. 6:10
This is the priority of fellowship.
"You are a member of God's very own family ... and you belong in God's household with every other Christian." Eph. 2:19 (LB)
"So in Christ, we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others" Rom. 12:5
"Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are doing. Instead, let us encourage each other." Heb. 10:25 (GN)
"The Christian who is not committed to a group of other believers for praying, sharing, and serving, so that he is known, as he knows others, is not an obedient Christian. He is not in the will of God. However vocal he may be in his theology, he is not obeying the Lord." Dr. Ray Ortland
2. You Need Encouragement to Grow Spiritually.
The school system will not do this. Your workplace will not do this. The world will not do this-the clubs, sororities and fraternities will not do this. Only the church has been ordained to do this.
"Let us think of one another and how we will encourage each other to love and do good deeds."
Heb. 10:24 (Ph)
"Two are better than one ... If one of them falls down, the other can help him up. But if someone is alone and falls, it's just too bad, because there is no one to help him... Two men can resist the attack that would defeat one man alone. A rope made of three cords is hard to break" Eccl. 4:9-10,12 (GN)
3. You need accountability to grow spiritually.
"People learn from one another just as iron sharpens iron" Pr. 27:17 (GN)
The Christian is charged to hold fellow Christians accountable to grow spiritually.
(Mat 18:15 NKJV) "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
(Mat 18:16 NKJV) "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.'
(Mat 18:17 NKJV) "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
"Every day... keep encouraging one another so that none of you is hardened by the glamour of sin"
Heb. 3:13 (JB)
"Brothers, if someone is trapped in some sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently ... Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Gal. 6:1-2
The pastor is charged specifically to hold the sheep accountable.
Paul in 2 Tim 4:2 tells Timothy to, "Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching."
4. Christ is present when we fellowship together.
"For wherever two or three have come together in my name, I am there, right among them." Matt 18:20 (GN)
The context here is accountability. Holding each other accountable is a form of fellowship. We can be assured that when we approach a brother or sister to encourage them to stop sinning that Christ is in our midst.
5. There is great power when people pray together.
"Whenever two of you on earth agree about anything you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." Matt. 18:19 (GN)
This passage is referring to the fellowship of accountability as well. When Christians come together to pray for the restoration of a sinning brother or sister, God will grant it. Sometimes the person who is in sin doesn't repent and God restores them to Himself by taking them to heaven prematurely (i.e., Ananias and Sapphira and the Corinthian believers.)
The principle we can take away form this passage is that there is great power when people pray together. However, the key is that they are experiencing unity. Jesus says, "Whenever two of you on earth agree about anything you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven."
I believe that Jesus is underscoring the importance of the prayer meeting. In Acts 4:31, Luke records of the early church, "And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness."
6. Fellowship is a witness to the world.
The Devil tries to stifle the fellowship of believers because fellowship is a witness to the world.
(Jesus) "My prayer for all of them is that they will be of one heart and mind.. So the world will believe you sent me. " John 17:21 (LB)
If the world picks up on our fellowship, Jesus says they will believe that God sent Him to be their Redeemer. Sometimes our best witness is our behavior with respect to one another.
I've patiently listened to a "Jehovah's Witness" as he has spewed out his venom. I have heard more than once how a JW indicts the church for not being genuine. The information he offers as evidence is the disunity of the church.
He asks, "Why are Christians always fighting one another about doctrine?" "Why are there so many denominations?"
I can give him several answers for this but the one I continue to come back to is that Christians are disobeying the Lord and His Word by not fellowshipping with one another.
We place too much of an emphasis on church names and church walls and not enough on fellowship.
We place too much of an emphasis on church denominations and not enough on fellowship.
We place too much of an emphasis on non-essential teachings and traditions and not enough on fellowship.
* This is how Christians can sin in one church and go to another church and find refuge.
* This is how one church can ask another church for money and the other church says no when they have it to give or ignores their letters all together.
* This is how one church can charge another church to use their baptism pool.
* This is how a church can deny a couple a wedding if they are not of their denomination.
* This is how a church can refuse to bury a person if they are not of their denomination.
Jesus prayed that we would be of one heart and one mind. This is the only way that the world will believe that God sent His Son to be their Redeemer.
7. You are obligated to every other Christian
"God has given you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other ..."
1 Peter 4:l0 (LB)
There are different kinds of service to God ... together you form the body of Christ and each one of you is a necessary part of it."
I Cor. 12:25, 27 (LB)
The "One Anothers" of Fellowship (Partial List)
Serve one another Gal. 5:13
Accept one another Rom 15:7
Forgive one another Col. 3:13
Greet one another Rom. 16: 16
Bear one another's burdens Gal. 6:2
Be devoted to one another Rom. 12:10
Honor one another Rom. 12:10
Teach one another Rom 15:14
Submit to one another Eph. 5:21
Encourage one another 1 Thess. 5:11
How Can A Growing Church Maintain Close Friendships?
A healthy church is a growing church. A healthy church is fulfilling the five purposes for the church: Evangelism, Discipleship, Fellowship, Worship and Ministry.
How can a growing church maintain close friendships?
Every member needs to be a part of a small group.
"They met day after day, in the Temple courts and from house to house."
Acts 5:42
2 Types of Church Meetings
Large Group: Sunday meetings
Small Group: Weekday meetings
"Greet the church that meets in their home." Rom. 16:5; Acts 2:26, 8:3, 16:40, 20:20, I Cor. 6:19, Col. 4:15
At New Vision Bible Fellowship Church, we believe our church must…grow larger and smaller at the same time.
We grow larger as more and more people come to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. We grow smaller as our members are placed in a small group setting where they can experience the love of Christ and be nurtured in the things of God.
What is the purpose of small groups? (8 purposes)
(Acts 2:42 NKJV) And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.
(Acts 2:43 NKJV) Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles.
(Acts 2:44 NKJV) Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common,
(Acts 2:45 NKJV) and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.
(Acts 2:46 NKJV) So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart,
(Acts 2:47 NKJV) praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.
1. Bible Study - "They DEVOTED THEMSELVES to the apostle's teaching ... "
2. Fellowship - "...and to the fellowship...."
3. Communion – “... and to the breaking of bread..."
4. Praying for one another - "... and to prayer ..."
Notice the plurality in the Lord’s Prayer: "OUR FATHER... give US... OUR daily bread... forgive US... OUR ... debts ... as WE have forgiven OUR debtors... lead US not into temptation... deliver US..." Matt 6:9-13
5. Support - "... they gave to anyone as he had a need..."
"... you shared with me the fellowship of giving and receiving." Phil. 4:15 (Ph)
6. Social - "... they ate together with glad and sincere hearts..."
"Get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner or if they need lodging, for the night."
Rom. 12:13 (LB)
7. Singing or Praising - "... praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people."
8. Outreach - "And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
How to Start and Maintain Good Habits
Over the last several weeks we have been discussing how we might develop and maintain spiritual disciplines.
We’ve looked at the topics of:
* The Habit of a Daily Quiet Time with God
* The Habit of Prayer
* The Habit of Tithing
* The Habit of Fellowship
If you have been with us for at least one of these topics you may be asking yourself, “How can I get these habits started?”
STEP ONE:
Desire - You must start with a strong desire.
(Psa 63:1 NKJV) O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water. (David)
You must be internally motivated. External motivations don't last. If you start only half-heartedly, you will never make it to the success point.
STEP TWO:
Decision –
* Begin right now! Don't wait.
* Don't procrastinate. You don't slide into a new habit.
* "One of these days" never arrives. You must have a starting point.
* It's easier to break a bad habit today than it will be tomorrow!
"If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done." Eccl. 11:4 (LB)
STEP THREE:
Declaration –
* Announce your intentions publicly.
* Make a covenant or resolution.
* The power of a vow is awesome. It is particularly powerful if you put your commitment in writing.
"Make vows to the Lord your God and fulfill them." Ps. 76:11
STEP FOUR:
Determination –
* Never allow an exception until the new habit is securely rooted in your life.
* Each lapse will be fatal. A single slip unwinds many turns at first.
* Continuity and success at the start is essential.
* Never be swayed by "just this once".
The act of yielding weakens the will and reinforces your lack of self-control. It takes 3 weeks to become comfortable with a new habit and it takes another 3 to 4 weeks (doing it daily) for it to become a part of your life.
It takes 7 to 21 repetitions to learn something!
STEP FIVE:
Do it! –
* Whenever you feel the slightest urge or prompting to practice this new habit - DO IT THEN!
* Don't wait. Seize every opportunity to reinforce your habit.
* “Do it!” feelings will not last, so whenever you feel inclined to perform your new habit, do so!
STEP SIX:
Double Up – Get a Partner –
* Get a partner who will support you and encourage you.
* Find someone who is willing to hold you accountable and check up on you especially in the early days before the habit is firmly rooted in your life.
"Let us consider and be attentive. continuous care to watching over each other. studying how we may stir up and stimulate each other to... helpful deeds and noble activities." Heb. 1:25 (Amp)
"Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. If one of them falls down, the other one can help him up." Eccl. 4:9- I 0 (GN)
STEP SEVEN:
Depend on God –
* Rely on God's power to help you establish the habit.
* Remember, Satan does not want you to develop habits that help you grow spiritually and make you like Christ so he will do all he can to tempt you, cause you to slip, or discourage you.
* Pray!
"For the Spirit of God has given us... fills us with power, love, and self-control." 2 Tim. 1:7 (GN)
"For it is God who is at work within you, giving you the will and the power to achieve his purpose." Phil. 2:13 (Ph)
Today we have talked about fellowship. The fellowship that Christians have with one another is made possible by the death of Christ. 1 John 1:5-7 has these words:
This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
It is impossible to have fellowship unless you have been cleansed of your sin by the blood of Christ. Jesus Christ, God's Son shed His blood and died on a cross that we might have our sins forgiven and experience fellowship with God. In order to experience true fellowship, you must agree with God when He declares that you have been trying to live by your own terms. You must turn away from sin and come by faith to the Lord Jesus Christ for forgiveness.
Pray with me: “Lord Jesus, I have sinned against you. I have been trying to run my own life according to my own rules. I believe that you died to take my sin away. I trust you now as my Savior from sin and the Boss of my life. Amen”
