PROVERBS 18:19 “A BROTHER OR SISTER IN CHRIST OFFENDED”
A) A farmer owned a mule that was very important to him because it
was good at plowing. (Difference between a mule and a horse)
* The mule got sick one day, and the farmer called in the veterinarian.
B) The vet looked the mule over, and then gave the farmer some extremely
very large pills.
* The vet said, “Give the mule one of these pills three times a day, and he’ll recover.”
C) The pills were so huge the farmer asked how he was supposed to get them
down the mule’s throat.
* “Well, that’s easy,” the vet replied, “Find a piece of pipe wide enough to fit in the
mule’s mouth, and put the pill into the pipe, and then blow into the other end.”
* “Before the mule knows what’s happening, you’ll blow the pill down the mule’s
throat and he will swallow the pill.”
D) Well, that sounded easy enough ... So the farmer did what the vet asked
him to do.
* But just a few hours later, the farmer walked into the veterinarian’s office
looking horribly sick himself.
E) The vet said, “Sir, you look terrible, what in the world happened?”
* And the farmer replied, “The mule blew first.”
* That was no doubt a very bitter pill to swallow – And perhaps there might be
some here tonight who are dealing with your own bitter pills in life.
F) Perhaps someone tried to blow you a bitter pill down your throat before.
* And if they did, how did you respond? – If you have been mistreated, had your
feelings hurt, disappointed, betrayed, or insulted, should you be provoked?
* Do you have a right to be offended by the misdeeds of others?
PEOPLE TODAY ARE SO EASILY OFFENDED
A) It seems today that people inside and outside of the church are so easily
offended – The word offended means:
* “To hurt the feelings of, make angry, to affect in an unpleasant or disagreeable
way, to cause to sin, to sin against, wrong a person, to violate, to transgress.”
* The Hebrew word is “pasha” (paw-shah’) and means, quarrel, apostatize”
which means “to abandon, to break away from a person because of anger.”
B) Here’s what our text is saying:
* It is harder to win back the friendship of an offended brother than to capture a city
that’s barred up with iron fences – His anger shuts you out like iron bars.
* Some even boast that once you cross them or one of their loved ones, that’s it,
it’s all over.
C) That doesn’t say much good about their spirituality. (Not right with God)
* No one escapes an offense, but what we do with it determines whether we will
be blessed or broken because of it.
* Here’s what Jesus had to say about it in Matt. 18:7 “Woe unto the ....... (Margin)
D) Think about several things with me in regard to the matter of being offended:
(1) THE REASONS FOR OFFENSES * Just what are the reasons?
A) First: The Message Often Gives Offense. – Gal. 4:16 .......
* Some of the Galatian people had become Paul’s enemy because he told
them the truth.
* Many people today get offended because the preacher tells them the truth,
and they don’t like it.
B) Illustrations ... Man asked my opinion on certain sins, and I gave it to him
and he got mad.
* Others: Not being faithful – Not tithing – Stop kids from running in and out of the
church services – Not bringing sodas and food into the sanctuary – Etc.
C) Secondly: The Misuse Of The Tongue Brings Offense.
* James 3:6 “And the tongue is a fire, a world of .......” – In other words .......
* And the tongue is a flame of fire – It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting
your entire body – It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
D) We should guard our mouths as one would an atomic bomb.
* Psa. 141:3 “Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.”
* He’s saying, “Help me, LORD, to keep my mouth shut and my lips sealed.”
E) Prov. 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they .......”
* Solomon is saying: “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to
talk will reap the consequences.
F) Thirdly: Misunderstanding Often Brings Offense.
* People often get offended because they don’t understand another person’s
actions or motives.
* Some people don’t understand the Pastor’s following the Lord in the decisions
he makes, and they get offended, and sometimes leave the church.
(2) THE RESPONSE TO OFFENSES
A) What do people do in regard to offenses?
* How they will affect you is determined by what you do with them – And a lot of
times, people do the wrong thing in their response to them.
B) In The First Place, Some Think Upon Them For Too Long.
* Our thought life should be filled with the right things.
* Turn in your Bibles to Philippians 4:8 .......
C) Let me sum up what Paul is telling us here .......
* And now, brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one more thing:
* Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right.
D) Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine,
good things in others .......
* Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.
* When folks have offended us, that is not easily removed from our mind,
but we must not keep thinking upon those negative things.
LET ME BE VERY HONEST AND TRUTHFUL WITH YOU
A) I have been offended before and I have thought about it over and over
in my heart, and even went so far as to talk to myself about it.
* I’ve looked in the want ads and said to myself, “Self, you don’t have to put up with
all this stress in your life of pastoring,” and God got to whooping me.
B) Whoopings are not pleasant. (Mama ... Run or hug her legs)
* So quit thinking about those offenses that people have brought into your heart
and mind ... Get over it – They are better things to think about .......
* And Philippians 4:8 tells us what we should be thinking about – Just do it.
C) In The Second Place, Some Keep Them Alive All The Time.
* There are some people who make up their minds they will never forget what a
person has done to them – They’ll hold a grudge over it for the rest of their lives.
* That is an improper response to the offenses that come our way.
D) Some people are looking for an excuse to get out – They’re too sensitive.
* They walk around with a chip on their shoulder – (Means there’s wood up above).
E) “But Preacher, they violated my rights.”
* What rights? – You don’t have any rights.
* Your rights were nailed to the cross with your sins ... Get over it.
F) In The Third Place, Some Push Them Aside.
* And it takes grace from God to do so, but it is certainly possible.
* Your response will help determine your spiritual state.
G) If you don’t push them aside, it will cause a wounded spirit – Prov. 18:14.
* A wounded spirit will dry you up spiritually.
* Prov. 17:22 “A merry heart doeth good .......”
H) So push them aside, forget them and go on with your life.
* Which leads me to my last point .......
(3) THE REMOVAL OF OFFENSES * Matt. 6:14-15 “For if ye forgive .......”
* What does it take to remove an offense that has caused a wounded spirit?
A) First: There Must Be A Solid Determination To Forgive The Offender.
* If Jesus said we should, and He did say it, then we should be determined by God’s
help to do that very thing.
* It doesn’t matter what they have done to us, we must forgive.
B) Second: There Must Be A Sweet Fellowship With God.
* The closer we get to God through prayer and fellowship, the less we will remember
things we consider as mistreatment from others.
* Allow God to help you control your emotions – Self-control is one of the fruits
of the Spirit – Work to control your emotions.
C) Listen to what the Word of God says – Prov. 25:28 “He that hath no .......”
* So, if you have a sweet fellowship with God, you can remove offenses that hurt.
D) Finally: We Must See The Example Of The Savior.
* Jesus cried while being crucified, Luke 23:34 “Father forgive them for .......”
CLOSE
A) Notice what the verse says in our text “A brother offended is harder to be
won than a strong city.”
* How is a strong city won? – It has to surrender over.
* A wounded spirit is sin – Psa. 51:9-12 .......
B) “And their contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
* “Contentions” ... Brawlings, arguments, disputes, quarrelings.
* It’s possible to break through the bars of a castle ... It’s not easy, but possible.
C) Let me tell you this ... If you’ve been offended and have a wounded spirit,
you have one of two choices to make tonight .......
* You can keep your wounded spirit and let it destroy you .......
* Or, you can come to Jesus and let Him make it right.
