Seeing Relationships As
An Opportunity
20/20 Vision
OKAY – I want to start of with a passage from John 17…
Jesus is in the garden praying. He know that in mere moments the Judas and the soldiers will come and the arrest, the beatings, the suffering and the march to the cross and His death will begin.
AND – He is not praying for Himself but for His disciples, His guys, His friends. Praying that the Father…
• Would protect them, guard them, and keep them safe from the evil,
• Make them holy by His truth,
• Teach them His truth, His word is truth
I pray not only for these, but also for those who believe in Me
through their message.
That’s us MGCC!
SO – that means that God is praying that Father
• Will protect us, guard us, keep us safe from the evil,
• Make us holy by His truth,
• Teach us His truth, His word is truth
AND THEN – Jesus prays the following for both us and the disciples.
May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You. May they also be one in Us, so the world may believe You sent Me. I have given them the glory You have given Me. May they be one as We are one. I am in them and You are in Me. May they be made completely one, so the world may know You have sent Me and have loved them as You have loved Me. – John 17:20-23
Prayer
OKAY – welcome to week four in our series, ‘20/20 Vision’
AND REMEMBER
This series is about having visual acuity (it’s about having clarity of vision) in 6 of the most important areas of our lives…
Jesus, The Church, Ourselves, Our Relationships, Our Work and Our Assets.
NOW – so far we have talked about…
• Seeing Jesus For Who He Is
• Seeing The Church As The Hope Of The World
• See Yourself Through His Eyes
It’s not you it’s the mirror
MGCC – I don’t know about you, but as for me
“My Maker Is My Mirror”
AND LISTEN – if you missed any of those conversations, you really should check them out online, because these are three areas in your life where you must have 20/20 visual, visual acuity.
GET IT?
NOW – this morning, we are going to talk about…
Seeing Your Relationships As An Opportunity
NOW UNDERSTAND – when it comes to our relational status, we are all in relationships…
I MEAN – in this room with have people who are…
spouses, parents, children, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, grandchildren, friends, co-workers, classmates, …etc.
AND LISTEN – since we are all in relationship of many kinds, it seems kind of important for us…
TO HAVE - 20/20 Vision, to see them clearly.
AND UNDERSTAND – just as some people do not have visual acuity when it comes to…
• Seeing Jesus for who He is, or
• Seeing the church for what God created her to be, or
• Seeing themselves as God sees them
Some people are lacking visual acuity when to comes to how they see and view their relationships…
OKAY – here’s the deal… you do not have 20/20 vision in regards to relationships if you see your relationships as simply an opportunity to…
• have your needs met and have someone else take care of you
• help you feel good about you (boost your own self esteem)
• try to fix yourself
You do not have 20/20 vision in regards to relationships if you see your relationships as simply an opportunity to…
• increase your standing with your peers
• distract yourself from your problems
and if see Marriage…
• for financial security,
• for physical intimacy,
• to remove the pressure you feel from parents or peers – you should be dating or married by now,
• because you are afraid to be on your own)
AGAIN – this morning we are going to talk about seeing your relationships as an opportunity…
As the opportunity that God intends for them…
UNDERSTAND – God wants you and I to see our relationships as an opportunity to.
• Experience Community
• Develop The Attitude Of Jesus
• Grow In The Fruit Of The Spirit
• Show The World That We Are His Disciples
OKAY – so let’s unpack those 4 statements…
AND LISTEN – if you want to see your relationships as the opportunity that God intends.
THEN – I want to encourage you to lean into God’s truth, into His word this morning.
Seeing Your Relationships As An Opportunity
I. To Experience Community
IF – you have your bibles (or bible ap)…
TURN – to Genesis chapter 1
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. - Gen 1:1-3
CIRCLE - God created… the Spirit of God was hovering…
God said
QUESTION – do you see it?
DO – you see it right there tucked away in the first 3 verses of the bible?
LISTEN - the essence of the entire universe, the essence of all existence, – IS right there in those 10 words
God created…
the Spirit of God was hovering…
God said…
UNDERSTAND - when we boil it all down the essence of all of life can be summed up in just one word, ‘community.’
AND LISTEN - community has been around before creation
AND THEREFORE – it is more foundational then the universe itself.
AND SO - right here in Genesis chapter one we see ‘The Divine Community’ working together.
THE FATHER - creating,
THE SPIRIT – hovering, and
THE SON - speaking…
An eternal, perfect relationship – connected together, working together…creating together….
ONENESS – in its purest form…
UNDERSTAND GOD - has always existed.
AND - God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit have always been in perfect community…
IN FACT - they are the very definition of oneness and selflessness. I MEAN - when you look at the community of the father, Son and Spirit – you don’t find them focusing on themselves, but rather on each other.
THE SPIRIT - points to Jesus and says; “Look at him; listen to him, learn from him, follow him, worship him, be devoted to him, serve him, love him, be preoccupied with him.
And when we look at THE SON, oddly enough we see that he didn’t walk around saying, “I’m the greatest!”
Rather Jesus said,
“I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than me”
“The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”
AND - according to Mark, Jesus submitted to the Spirit when the Spirit drove him into the wilderness, and He told his guys before he ascended and went back home to heaven “Hey, it’s really a good thing that I am going away – just wait until you get to meet The Spirit…’
Then there is THE FATHER. Twice in the gospels we hear His voice say; “this is my Son in whom I am well pleased listen to Him…”
Note The Father didn’t say ‘listen to me first then listen to him’ or ‘listen to him, only if what he says agrees with me…’
BOTTOM LINE – the essence of all of life can be summed up in just one word… AND – what is that one word? ‘community.’ AND LISTEN - community, together…. Is as eternal and as infinite as God Himself!
GET IT?
NOW - not only do we see (the divine community) in Genesis one… BUT – we also see God getting busy creating an indescribable universe…
AND – after placing billions galaxies full of billions of stars in the heavens, after creating both time and space… God zeroed in on His pet project. A small planet on the outer fringes of one of those immense galaxies – the 3rd rock from the sun…earth.
AND LISTEN – this infinite God not only pumped into this incredible beauty (majestic snow capped mountains; fast flowing rapids, roaring waters falls, vast canyons; wide oceans, jagged cliffs, towering Redwoods and breathe-taking sunrises and sunsets)..
BUT – He also poured out life over this planet..
YOU KNOW – I find have always found it amazing that NASA (has and will) continue to spend billions trying to uncover the most primitive life form on Mars or some other distant planet (no luck so far)… Maybe they will, maybe they won’t.
BUT – on the other hand, earth is FULL of life…
LIKE - it’s everywhere. I MEAN - put a shovel of dirt or a cup of water under a microscope and you will see that it is teeming with life… YES - earth is most definitely God’s pet project…
AND – then on day 6 of this creative process God finally (with a huge smile of his faces, no doubt) got down to what was the purpose behind everything that he had spoken into existence. MGCC – never forget that ‘we’ are the reason for everything!
“Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness…” - Genesis 1:26
CIRCLE - in our image, in our likeness..
QUESTION - what does that mean?
NOW – obviously God could not reproduce himself and create another God since He is absolute and therefore unique…
BUT – God did the next best thing… He created beings in his own image…
AND – to be in God’s image and likeness (involves many things… LIKE – being able to think, reason, plan, dream, feel, choose, create)
BUT LISTEN – I am ABSOLUTELY convinced that at it’s core being made in God’s image and likeness IS ABOUT relationships… IS ABOUT - connecting with AND enjoying that awesome divine community and connecting with and enjoying each other…
AND BECAUSE – this is true… God says the following in Genesis 2:18; “And the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him…"
YOU SEE - when God created Adam… at first it was just, it was just Adam.. Sure he had a beautiful garden to live in. And all kinds of animals to live with and he even got to name them. (First he was kind of creative… hippopotamus, armadillo, rhinoceros, hummingbird, antelope, nightingale, chimpanzees, orangutans … cow, ant, dog, ox
BUT LISTEN – even though it looked as if he had all he needed, a perfect world to live in with NO; health problems, financial problems, career concerns, relational turmoil… no sin and separation from God…
THERE STILL - was something missing in his life…
YOU SEE – Adam was alone…
AND – God said that this was not good…
WHY? - because man was made in God’s image…
AND AGAIN - the very essence, the foundation of being in God’s image and likeness is relationship, is community…
UNDERSTAND – we were created not only to connect with God… BUT – also with each other…
BECAUSE – ‘together is better.’
Together has power.
We were not created or designed to run the race alone.
AGAIN
“And the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone…
AND – Oh how we know this to be true…
AND LISTEN – today in our country loneliness is pretty much an epidemic.
This Week I came across a study on loneliness that was done by Cigna… (20,000 adults over the age of 18) 2019
Social science researchers define loneliness as the emotional state created when people have fewer social contacts and meaningful relationships than they would like — relationships that make them feel known and understood. Essentially, if you feel lonely, you are lonely.
- 61% of Americans report feeling lonely (up from 54% in 2018)
- 79% of Gen Zers (18-22) report feeling lonely
- 71% of Millennials (23-38) report feeling lonely
- 50% of boomers (55-75) report feeling lonely
- 27% rarely or never feel like someone understands them
- 43% sometimes or always feel like their relationships are not meaningful
- 20% rarely or never feel close to people
- 47% never have any meaningful in person social interactions
- 18% said there are zero people who know them well
NOW – ‘unfortunately’ most of us know from personal experience that there is no sting like the sting of loneliness.
YES – I’m pretty confident that most of us have been there and done that when it comes to loneliness…
BUT – we really don’t like to talk or think about it, all that much… BECAUSE - loneliness said Mother Teresa, is the leprosy of modern society. And no one wants anybody to know they’re a leper.
SO – in Genesis chapter 2 God’s looks at Adam and says, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him…"
A - companion to DO what?
TO - help him? Help him with what?
Help him overcome this problem of being alone…
UNDERSTAND – throughout the pages of Scripture we see many great pictures of people doing life together…
Adam and Eve
Abraham and Sarah,
Moses and Aaron,
Caleb and Joshua,
David and Jonathan,
David and His Mighty Men
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego
Esther and Mordecai
Peter & John,
Paul & Silas,
Barnabas and Mark
Paul and Timothy
(and we can be certain, that their stories without these relationships would have been much different).
EVEN - Jesus when he walked this earth needed friends. He had 12 close friends, disciples, who he choose, "that they might be with him" (Mark 3:14).
SURE - Jesus wanted them with him so that he could train and prepare them, BUT – there was also a matter of fellowship…
I MEAN – think about it, doing life together is just part of who Jesus is… LIKE – He has literally been doing it forever.
THEREFORE – it only stands to reason that when God put on flesh and walked the earth that He would live in community.
SO – he chose the 12….
AND – 3 of those 12 (Peter, James and John) formed an "inner circle" and Jesus included them in activities that the other 9 were not included in.
And among these 3, John called himself, "the disciple that Jesus loved," so apparently even Jesus had a best friend.
AND - that night in the garden, during those final minutes before his arrest who did Jesus bring with Him?
His friends.
The guys he had done life with for the last 3 years…
AND HERE’S MY POINT - if Jesus needed friends, how much more do the rest of us. UNDERSTAND…
WE ALL - (everyone of us) need somebody to lean on…
WE ALL – (everyone of us) need people who care about us,
PEOPLE - we can relax and be ourselves around…
PEOPLE – who will… encourage us, support us, challenge us, love us, be there for us.
PEOPLE - who know us, accept us, believe in us and bring out the best in us.
WE ALL (everyone of us) need what I call 3 o'clock in the morning friends ("what can I do are you alright" not "do you know what time it is?")…
UNDERSTAND – because we were created in the image of God we need to see our relationships as an opportunity to experience community.
As an opportunity to experience meaningful relationships.
AND LISTEN – when we aren’t in meaningful relationships, we suffer natural consequences whether we realize it or not.
LIKE…
Lost Perspective
UNDERSTAND - when we live in isolation, we can easily lose perspective on life.
That’s because there’s no objective voice calling us towards balance.
Our lows tend to be lower and our highs tend to be higher.
Our point of view, becomes clouded and things seem to be worse (or better) than they really are.
Simple decisions can appear bigger than life and decision making can become more impulsive when we don’t have others the point is back to true North.
And we can lose perspective that as believers in Christ, we are in a battle. We can forget that we have a very real enemy and that he plays for keeps.
We can lose sight that ‘our struggle is not against flesh and blood” and that our enemies most successful strategy is to isolate us so he can attack and destroy us. Sheep are never attacked in herds. Sheep are attacked when they are isolated from the rest of the flock.
Fear of intimacy
People you don’t have meaningful relationships tend to fear intimacy more. YOU SEE - if you’ve never had close friendships, then you’re going tend to be more fearful of that kind of a relationship.
People who fear intimacy think that if others get to know them, they wouldn’t like them.
SO – they would rather stay disconnected than risk rejection.
Selfishness
Disconnected people tend to be more selfish.
Isolation breeds selfishness.
If the sum total of a person’s life is defined by his schedule, his agenda, his needs, and his desires, chances are good he is suffering from a good dose of selfishness.
Overtime, a disconnected person become self absorbed. He gives into one of the fatal byproducts of disconnection: self-centeredness. When that happens, life is lived and seen through a very narrow lens.
Poor Health
People who live life alone what much greater risk of sickness and poor health than their connected counterparts.
In his book, ‘Everyone is Normal Till You Get to Know Them’,
John Ortberg, refers to a study on relationships that tracks the lives of 7000 people over nine years.
Researchers found that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die than those with strong relational connections. People who had bad health habits (such as smoking, Port eating habits, obesity, or alcohol use) but had strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated.
In other words, it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends then to eat broccoli alone.
Bottom line–living life without meaningful connection (without community), is not good because it’s not what God intended for us.
AND LISTEN – community, having and living in meaningful relationships is one of the main purposes of the church.
BECAUSE - God does not intend for us to live the Christian life by ourselves. HE- doesn’t want us to follow Him on our own.
IT – is not His desire that we go through; the struggles, the storms and the challenges of life…. alone.
THAT - is why Jesus CREATED the Church.
AND LISTEN – if we think of church simply as a building or a 90 minute gathering on a Sunday morning we are completely missing the point of this thing.
IN FACT – if Jesus were here today and you asked Him, “hey, Jesus where is the church?”
HE – would NOT point to a building or give you an address.
INSTEAD – Jesus would explain to you, how the church is this massive group people (His body, a family) living on this planet… PEOPLE WHO - fear Him, follow Him, are faithful to Him, and we do life together in community.
AND LISTEN – as we look at the book of Acts we see that the early, they church got it! I MEAN - they fully understood that community (that together) was Jesus plan all along.
That is why we will find no personal or singular pronouns in the earliest descriptions of the church. Like here in Acts 2…
They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.
Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. – Acts 2:42-47
AND LISTEN - experiencing community is why we do Life Groups at The Grove…
Seeing Your Relationships As An Opportunity
II. To Develop The Attitude Of Jesus
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! – Philippians 2:3-8
OKAY – so what is the attitude of Christ, that we are to develop in our relationships?
QUESTION…
WHAT - do you think would happen to our relationship if that is how we approach each of them?
I MEAN – what if our goal in every single one of our relationships was to try to out serve each other
AND – what if our attitude was…
“I’m going to leverage all of my time, all of my power and all of my assets for the benefit of others”
(By the way that is what Jesus did for us)
YEAH – talk about a game changer… the offer of all I am for all that you need.
The Ultimate Relationship Game Changer – “it’s not about me it’s about everyone else.”
OKAY – here’s the deal…
If you (we) see our relationships as an opportunity to develop the attitude and mindset of Jesus…
• To serve and not be served
• To give and not to get
I am convinced that it will have a huge positive impact on everyone
of our relationships.
Anyone disagree?
QUESTION – what was God’s response to Jesus’ attitude that is describe in Philippians 2?
Therefore God also has highly exalted Him… - Philippians 2:9
Seeing Your Relationships As An Opportunity
III. To Grow In The Fruit Of The Spirit
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
– Galatians 5:22,23
OKAY – I am not going to spend a whole lot of time here, but just let me point out the obvious…
It is impossible to fully grow in the spirit of the Spirit in isolation, by yourself.
UNDERSTAND – The relationships that you are in right now, are the Gym where the fruit of the Spirit is developed in your life, through resistance training…
Resistance training is a form of exercise that involves making your muscles work against a weight or force. This weight force can be any number of things, including free weights, resistance bands, weight machines or even your own body weight.
QUESTION – have any of your relationships ever produced an opposing force that you had to work against?
LIKE – have you ever faced resistance in a relationship when you tried to be…
• Patience
• Kind
• Gentle
• Loving
• Peaceful
• Self-controlled
Seeing Your Relationships As An Opportunity
IV. To Show The World That You Are His Disciples
My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.
May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.
I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. – John 17:20-23
Without the church, without other people, without community… the Mission of Christ will not be accomplished.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:34
UNDERSTAND – God is not trying to save a bunch of individuals.
HE is trying to make a new people.
A people that will both reflect and represent Him in this world.
OKAY HERE’S THE DEAL…
Our relationship with each other is the criterion the world uses to judge whether our message is truthful…
Our community (how we do life together)…
IS what makes the message believable…
IS what draws people in
IS what allows the Lord to add to our number daily those who are being saved.
Our relationship with each other is the criterion the world uses to judge whether our message is truthful – Christian community is the final apologetic. – Francis Schaeffer
God wants you and I to see our relationships as an opportunity to.
• Experience Community
• Develop The Attitude Of Jesus
• Grow In The Fruit Of The Spirit
• Show The World That We Are His Disciples
My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us… - John 17:20,21
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