Envy is poisonous!
1 Samuel 18:29” then Saul was even more afraid of David. Thus Saul was David's enemy continually.”
As I kept delving into the subject, it is pretty too deep and it is very relevant to our life. I am talking about Saul’s hatred for David, during the initial days , Saul did a pretty good job during his initial days of reigning over Israel; however, suddenly a young, robust, firebrand called David walked in and grabbed all the attention from his entire team: that included the people of Israel, his servants, his own family everybody were admiring David and the women danced and sang, 7 “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.”8 This was too much to handle indeed and Saul gets jealous which is very normal, (C’mon let us be honest); however, the great error that Saul did was to nurture his jealousy and allow it to grow until it finally blossomed to becoming murderous. Caveat!
As I was reading this scripture, I remembered an incident that happened to me, I actually was offended by a phone call, when that person spoke rudely and I actually had to disconnect the call so that further damage does not take place. When this happens with someone very close to you, it hurts tremendously, though I was trying to put away the incident, it came popping back in my mind, triggering anger inside me, it was only after I went to the presence of God that I was healed. My, it’s so refreshing when the Word throws light on a particular situation! Jesus does not want any kind of unkindness, hatred or evil lingering in our life, that’s why He said, ‘whenever you come to me, keep forgiving people and let go off bitterness.’ Clean up then and there. Let us try. Don’t harbor evil, never do that. Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
I read an article about a terrorist who talked how the feeling of hatred that was inculcated into the children through their parents. They talked ill and evil of their enemies all the time which made their children hardcore terrorist in their teens itself. That’s exactly why God emphasizes that we speak the Word to the children when they stand, sit, walk and lie down. Read: Deuteronomy 6:7 "You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” What does this mean? When the child comes home crying about a fight at school, don’t tell him to bash him back, but rather advise peace. Don’t keep talking negative things of the church and the pastor, the child keeps hearing what the elders speak, and eventually he grows with scant respect for the church and the servants of God, eventually their life deteriorates. Caveat!
Part 2-Envy gives birth to insecurity!
1 Samuel 18:29” then Saul was even more afraid of David. Thus Saul was David's enemy continually.”
Observe the words:"Saul was even more afraid of David…!"
As you allow ‘envy’ to grow and take root in you then the next thing that happens is insecurity, fear and angst, which are dangerous, are you listening?
An energetic, smart and young woman taught math for our students of Abide School, the free school that we run for the poor, she was highly educated and brilliant, after a few months, her co-sister who recently got married joined our school as well, both were talented and they enjoyed working together. However, something happened that shattered their unity, when the in-laws celebrated the co-sister’s birthday very grandly and lavishly the senior daughter-in-law got upset because they did not do that for her. She came and cried to me and from that day onwards, she stopped talked to her co-sister, they stopped coming to school together, her work deteriorated and she fell into depression with anger, self-pity and deep hatred for her co-sister. She felt insecure and afraid of her position in her family! Did you see that? I gave her a Bible, counseled her, prayed for her but nothing worked and she finally left the job. Very sad. This is what envy would do a person, caveat! The Bible says: Proverbs 27:4”Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, But who can stand before jealousy?
When someone younger than you, less experienced and less talented is put as your supervisor, the situation is not normal, it breaks your heart and bites into your pride and dignity, this is height of humiliation; however, we got to handle such situations (which we have to face in our life at some point or the other) prayerfully. Do not allow the enemy to plant seeds of hatred, jealousy and bitterness in you, feel secure in Christ who would never fail to bless you, are you listening? Also submit to God to take you through whatever path that has been allotted for you with grace and patience so that you learn the necessary lessons during the journey of your life. The Lord should be your refuge during such times, don’t allow ill-feelings to grow inside you, arrest it immediately and pray like David:
Psalm 143:10:”Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground (good/right path).”
Part 3
…Saul was David's enemy continually.”
How do I navigate through the dark roads of hatred…?
Imagine David being hounded by his enemy Saul ceaselessly! Don’t expect things to be hunky-dory all the time, we got to serve the Lord in the midst of heat, fume, fury and opposition. This is a very important lesson that we got to learn, especially missionaries who have moved to another country or city to serve the Lord . Depression, loneliness, angst are bound to happen and we got to be educated about this so that we don’t get overwhelmed when that happens.
When we were commanded by the Lord to move to a different city and start ministry from scratch after already serving the Lord for 10 years, when my children were still young and my son was just in class 5, I was actually not prepared for all the persecutions, betrayal, and much more that was awaiting me in the new city. God stirred us to a totally different arena: education and Children ministry; we obeyed, not easy though. We started Abide School, free Government recognized school for the poor and also Abide Angel Home, free shelter Home, let me tell you, each time we had to step into the cabin of the officials for permit and other things, we were humiliated and discouraged. Many times I have stood speechless in front of officers who would rattle away in the local language telugu, I survived though, I write after establishing all the ministries and receiving the necessary Government approvals. God is our Helper!
Each time I take the Home Children to school or any other place, people look at me weirdly as though I was doing something strange, they were suspicious of my motives and look at me like a kidnapper. I write this with a heavy heart, parents are not going to appreciate, because most of the children come from very bad background, neighbors don’t pat your back, sometimes you have do things in the midst of heavy opposition from your own family too, so without a strong will, sure calling and heavy anointing we can never do such things for God. However, you are no super man or woman, you do get drained out and that’s when we can look back at David and Joseph and get our lessons.
As I write this portion, I only think of Australian Christian Missionary Graham Stuart Staines who served among leprosy patients and poor tribals in Manoharpur village of Keonjhar district of Odisha, India. He came to the village as a 24 year old young man, imagine his determination, sacrifice and commitment but some blamed Graham Staines for engaging in conversion which according to them was creating deep unrest in those regions. People of other faith, do not look at the work of Christian missionaries with compassion or love but look at it with ulterior motives, we need to work in the midst of such animosity. A crowd led by the Hindutva terror gang leader Dara Singh surrounded the vehicle and lit it up, while Graham Staines with his two children, Phillip( 10) and Timothy(6) were sleeping, in the year January 22, 1999. Gruesome! Mrs. Staines did not leave the country immediately but stayed and took charge of MLH and set up 15 bedded Graham Staines Memorial in 2005. Glory to Jesus!
Hey friend, cheer up, God is with you, don’t be discouraged, keep reading good books of saints who went through rough terrains and get empowered.
God with you would enable you to do great exploits for Him! God bless you!
