TITLE: ARE YOU MARRIED OR JUST DATING THE CHURCH?
SCRIPTURE: EPHESIANS 5:25-32
(This is not an original sermon as selective portions were gleaned from various ministers that contributed to on-line platforms)
This morning I will conclude our Four-Week Series entitled “The Church Series.” If you recall the first installment of this series was entitled –
1. The Church
2. The Church Has Left the Building
3. Last Sunday – Be the Church
This morning I want to tag this concluding series with the thought – ARE YOU MARRIED OR JUST DATING THE CHURCH? In a few moments, we will take communion together with Christ, remembering how we came to be His sons and daughters by faith, and recalibrating our lives to the incredible reality that we are loved by God. To prepare for this time, I want to talk to you this morning about a marriage. The marriage I have in mind is not my marriage or yours. Nor is it the institution of marriage, which seems to be moving in dishonorable and God-ignoring directions at every turn in our country.
This morning, I want to talk to you about Christ's love for his bride, the church. I want to speak to you about His devotion and sacrifice for what is, for Him, the unrivaled passion of his heart. And I want to argue that if the church means this much to Jesus, it ought to mean that much to you and me. In fact, I want to pick up on this analogy Paul uses of Christ's love for the church and ask you a very important question -- are you married or just dating the church?
Now the difference in the two is obvious.
• DATING is a kind of trial period in a relationship where your - commitments are soft - relationships are tentative - and you keep your options open
• MARRIAGE on the other hand, is a covenant relationship of Devotion and Sacrifice and Joy
• In marriage, you have burned the ships, there's no turning back, and you only have eyes for the one to whom you have pledged yourself
So, I ask you again -- are you married to the church -- fully devoted - making sacrificial investments of time and money and energy?
• Or are you just dating the church
• Nominally involved
• Partially invested
• Maintaining enough detachment so that if it doesn't work out the way you want, you can hit the door with no lingering obligations?
Statistically, one (1) out of four (4) church attendees are considered "Church Shoppers," with no real devotion to any particular local church.
• An estimated 15-20 million Americans have said they are Christians, but don't want to be a part of the local church
• Around 80 percent of American Churches are Plateaued or Declining
• When asked, people give the standard answers -- church is IRRELEVANT -- BORING -- HYPOCRITICAL -- AFTER MY MONEY
• Some have been hurt by the church - in some cases deeply
We live in a unique time in the United States, a time where church commitment is falling rapidly generation-by-generation. I was reading a newspaper article this past week that explained this is the first time in American history the predominant affiliation of religion in the United States is “None.”
• Generation X and Millennials continue to spiral downward in their faith in Jesus Christ
• I believe a big part of this is because we, the Church, are so involved in everything else that church is a mere afterthought
• ARE YOU MARRIED OR JUST DATING THE CHURCH?
In our text this morning, did you notice the intimate levels here?
• FIRST - we are the Body
• Working as a community together
• A community is one that takes on the roles and duties that it has
• In a community people do their part and keeps the community flowing
• SECOND - we see that we are the Temple
• A closer connection
• We are building together for a greater purpose
• Notice THIRDLY - that we are part of the Family
• A family should be a place of unconditional love
• They love us as who we are and it does not matter who we are
• FINALLY - we come to the most intimate of all relationships and that is MARRIAGE
• We are told that as a church we are married to Christ
• We are the bride of Christ
• This is a church promise but also an individual promise
• We are connected to Him in a very special and unique way
It’s our goal at ‘First Church’ to develop young people who, as they go into college or the workplace, will have the DNA to be committed to the local church.
• The idea of dating the church often starts in college and then leads into their marriages and families years later
• Dating the church can be demonstrated in a few different ways
• First, a person who dates the church may switch from one church to another, never satisfied or committed to any particular church
• These individuals really are not members of any church
• They like to move around when something does not go their way
• This is neither healthy nor biblical
When we understand this letter is written to the local church, while using the church as a metaphor to explain the relationship of a Husband and Wife, we better realize why our commitment to one local church is so important.
Another way people date the church is by being a member of a church, but not really being committed to that church. That may sound like an oxymoron, but it is ever so true. How can we gauge commitment?
• Think of the first Sunday it’s cold outside
• When we may have lost an hour of sleep
• Maybe when we’re up late watching a Sporting Event
• Then we think we’ll just take a day off from church this Sunday morning
• That day off becomes multiple days off throughout the year
A recent report by the Barna Group said the average church member misses twelve Sundays a year.
• That’s missing once a month, which comes up to about 3 months every year
• Which is only 75% attendance
• I wonder how our place of employment would respond if we had 75% attendance?
Sadly, I believe there are many Christians who are dating the church and Christ more than they are being married to him.
• It comes down to Commitment
• It comes down to Passion
• It goes back to the Heart
I served on Active Duty in the Armed Forces and every now and then the National Guard would come out and train on Post. We would refer to them as - “Weekend Warriors” -- I believe we have “Weekend Warriors” in the church today.
• The National Guard serves in the military on the weekend and are required to give only 2 weeks a year
• I am not putting them down
• I think they serve a grand purpose
• But it is hard to be fully prepared just on the weekend
It is hard for you as a Christian to be fully prepared just on the weekend. You can’t do it. People may not like it but your connection to the church is directly proportional to your connection to the Lord. If we stay away from His Church, then we weaken our armor and ability to resist the wiles of the devil.
The Church is the bride of Jesus. The whole context of this passage about marriage has this model of Christ's passion for his bride, the church, as its foundation. And the point is powerful -- Jesus wholeheartedly - unconditionally loves His Church.
• You know there is a moment in every wedding when the bride walks down the aisle to her groom
• Everyone rises to their feet as the music soars and all eyes turn to see the bride – RADIANT - BEAUTIFUL - ADORNED IN WHITE - she seems to float past on her way to the man who has captured her heart
As a Pastor, I have a unique vantage point for this special moment.
• I get to stand in the center of that aisle alongside the groom
• I get the best view in the house
• I always cut a look over at the groom's face
• He is grinning from ear to ear in ANTICIPATION – WISTFUL - UNSPEAKABLY HAPPY - LOST IN LOVE for the one who is coming to pledge herself to him
If you can see that look on the groom's face, then you have a small understanding of the intensity of Christ's love for his church.
• It resonates through this passage
• What stands out -- writes JOHN STOTT -- IS THE SACRIFICIAL STEADFASTNESS OF THE HEAVENLY BRIDEGROOM'S COVENANT-LOVE FOR HIS BRIDE
What makes this passage even more striking for me is that I am part of his church. The church in the Bible is made up of those who have been called out by the spirit of Christ to salvation.
• The church is God's people
• It's you and me and every believer in every place around this world who has put their trust in Jesus as Savior and Lord
• The truth is when you read that Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, you might as well be reading, "JESUS LOVES ME LIKE THAT"
It becomes intensely personal to meditate on the words Christ loved the church when I see that I am included among those He loves. And it strikes me when I see the Greek word for love Paul uses here describes immediately takes me to The Cross. It is the word AGAPE, which refers to the absolute - un-self-centered sacrifice of Christ for my sake.
• His love for me NEVER QUITS - NEVER WAIVERS - NEVER WEAKENS
• Together, church, we will take a piece of bread and a swallow of juice to remember that cross love He has for His bride, you and me
When I read that HE GAVE HIMSELF FOR HIS BRIDE, and I count the cost He has personally undertaken. The wording here speaks of VOLUNTARY SURRENDER AND TOTAL COMMITMENT TO THE HORRORS OF BEARING MY SINS IN HIS BODY ON THE CROSS TO RANSOM ME FROM SLAVERY TO SIN AND TAKE ME TO HIMSELF.
• The broken body and shed blood of Christ are the measure of how far He will go for me
When I read that His holy love for the church moved Him with purpose to make the church holy, cleansing it in the washing of water by the Word, I am thrilled to see --
• My complete forgiveness in those words
• My justification accomplished at His Word
• The gentle, patient work of making me holy like Himself
The church is the body of Christ. In Vs. 25, the church is the wife of Jesus Christ. But in VS. 30, the church is called the body of Christ: we are members of his body, it says. Paul changes the imagery to emphasize something important.
• The image of the Bride tells us deep things about the devotion and love of Christ Jesus for us, His bride
• The image of the Body of Christ reminds us that we have an assignment to fulfill
• When Jesus bodily walked this earth, He moved from place to place in a small geographical area, doing the will of the Heavenly Father and securing the salvation of everyone who believes
• Now, having ascended back to heaven, He still moves from place to place, only now on a global scale
• How does He do it?
• Through us!
• We are His body!
Ephesians 1:22 expands on this picture when it explains, by telling us that GOD THE FATHER HAS PUT EVERYTHING UNDER HIS FEET AND APPOINTED HIM AS HEAD OVER EVERYTHING FOR THE CHURCH, WHICH IS HIS BODY, the fullness of the One who fills all things in every way.
• Like the fingers and toes, like the eyes and elbows of your physical body, you are a part of Christ's body on earth, which is the church
• And just like the various parts of your physical body have a specific function in relation to your body, so you have a specific function in Christ's body!
• There is no unimportant member of the church
• Each of us has a function to fulfill for the good of the whole body
• EPHESIANS 4 speaks about the body being built up in love as each part is working properly
Paul plays around a little further with this analogy a bit in his letter to the Corinthians - If the foot should say, "BECAUSE I'M NOT A HAND, I DON'T BELONG TO THE BODY," IN SPITE OF THIS IT STILL BELONGS TO THE BODY. AND IF THE EAR SHOULD SAY, "BECAUSE I'M NOT AN EYE, I DON'T BELONG TO THE BODY,"
• In spite of this it still belongs to the body
• If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be?
• If the whole were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?
• But now God has placed the parts, each one of them, in the body just as He wanted
Let’s face it - if you’ve been involved in a local church for very long, you have been hurt or frustrated or disillusioned. But I would venture to say if you have been married for very long, you have been hurt or frustrated or disillusioned.
• But I hope you’re still married!
• Commitment is what keeps you going in your marriage, to work at making it better
• In the same way, you need to commit yourself to the church and work at making it better
• I want to persuade you to marry (and stay married to) the local church
• After all, Christ loved the church as His bride and gave Himself for her
• If I want to be like Christ, then I need to love the church and give myself for her, even if I get hurt or frustrated or disillusioned
Are you married or just dating the church? For this church to be all God wants it to be, each member --
• Needs to be Working Properly
• Needs to be Connected
• Needs to be Participating
• Needs to be sharing the burdens and the joys together
--Most of you here today are living examples of this message, and I cannot thank you enough for Your Example - Your Partnership - Your Stewardship of life for His sake
--But I also want to urge you who are on the margins, who are just going through the motions, who are acting out of habit rather than commitment
--Brian Habig and Les Newsom, authors of a book entitled, The Enduring Community, write, "THE CHURCH IS A BODY, AND I AM EITHER A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF THAT ORGANISM, OR I AM ACTIVELY CONTRIBUTING TO ITS DISMEMBERMENT"
--Are you married or just dating the church?
