My first experience with church discipline…
My first experience with church discipline came in the mid 1980’s when my family and I were members of a church where we were asked to pray for a sister who had left her husband and young daughter to live with her lover.
Each month during communion we were given an update concerning this woman and any other members who were under church discipline—there were only a few.
Evidentially, members of the church had gone to this sister according to the steps outlined in Matthew chapter 18 and she had not repented. Finally, the church was informed and was not only asked to pray for her but to pursue her in love—telling her “the truth in love.”
When this didn’t “win” our sister, the elders followed the example of the Apostle Paul in the Scriptures and “delivered this sister to Satan for the destruction of her flesh, that her spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.”
If my memory serves me correctly, it was a Sunday evening several months after the first announcement when we were informed that “Joan” had repented of her sin and desired to be reconciled with her husband. However, the man she was living with did not want her to return so easily.
The elders stood before the church and communicated a plan for rescuing our sister. The plan was for the brothers and sisters in the church to arrive at the place where Joan was staying with cars, vans and trucks to move her belongings back to their rightful place with her family. And that is exactly what we did.
We all arrived at the apartment complex at the appointed time and worked together for about a half hour and loaded this woman’s belongings into our vehicles and left.
Church discipline works—if it is implemented. This sister was restored to her husband and daughter as well as to the fellowship of believers.
Review
I. Elements of Church Discipline
A. The Place of Discipline - The place of discipline is the assembly of believers-- the church (Mat. 18:17).
B. The Purpose of Discipline
1.) Prevention – The fear of sinning
2.) The other purpose for church discipline is restoration.
C. The Person of Discipline
Discipline is not just for church officials; it’s for everyone, including those who lead in the church.
In fact Galatians 6:1 tells us exactly who should do it: “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye who are spiritual restore such an one.” Those who are walking in the Spirit, who are obeying the Word, and who are in fellowship should restore the fallen brother or sister.
D. The Provocation of Discipline
When does discipline start?
It starts every day as one goes before the Lord in prayer and during the study of the Scriptures.
2.) Discipline also starts when we sin against a brother or sister or a brother or sister sins against us.
We also saw there were two ways a fellow believer’s sin can affect you—directly and indirectly.
E. The Process of Discipline
Step One - Examine Yourself. (Self-Discipline)
The Bible calls the Christian to regular self-examination and self-discipline.
“Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?...” (2 Corinthians 13:5)
The self-controlled Christian is someone who knows when to seek help himself rather than waiting for others to offer it.
The self-controlled person seeks discipline through the strength and wisdom the Spirit gives through His Word. Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit (i.e., the result of the Spirit's work) in a believer.
When you examine yourself regularly and deal with sin as the Holy Spirit reveals it to you, there is no need for anyone to confront you about it.
Self-discipline or self-examination is accomplished as one goes before the Lord in prayer and meditation of the Scriptures and adjusts or conforms his life to the precepts of the Word of God.
Step Two - Tell Him His Sin Alone. (One-on-One)
In step one--self-discipline, no one else is involved; the believer deals with his sin alone before God.
If, for example, he has sinful thoughts relating to another person, he doesn’t reveal them to that person
“I’ve been jealous of you” or “I’ve been tempted to steal your car.”
No, he handles them by confessing and repenting before God alone.
Step Two begins the first of those stages of church discipline in which others participate. It is the stage where one believer confronts another believer about what he understands to be the other's sin.
Mat 18:15 "And if your brother sins against you, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
In this verse, Jesus says, "If you brother sins against you, go"
The offended party at this point may be wondering, "Why do I have to go? Wasn't I the one who was sinned against? Wasn’t I the one that was hurt?"
We've already learned earlier in this series there are two answers to this question:
(1) The first being that the offender may not obey Matthew 5:23-24 and cause further tension between himself and his brother.
Mat 5:23 "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
Mat 5:24 leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.
Jesus is saying here that if you are aware that someone has something against you, you are obligated to go to that person and be reconciled. In our Matthew 18 text, Jesus is saying that the offended party shouldn't wait for the offender to come to him.
Ideally, both parties should meet each other on the way to each other's house.
(2) The second reason why the offended person is commanded to go to the offender is that the offending brother may not even realize that he offended anyone.
Last time, as we explored this reason, we learned through the illustration of the two women in church where when one greeted the other, the other responded by throwing her nose up into the air and running in the opposite direction.
We also learned the woman who thought she had been spurned wasn't really slighted at all. Her friend has thrown her nose up into the air because she had a bad case of post nasal drip. Her nose was about to run all over her new dress right at the moment when her friend called out to her.
If your brother or sister has offended you, you need to go to them in private. If you know of someone who has an offense against you, you also need to go to that person and be reconciled.
Step Three - Take Some Witnesses (One or Two Others)
Mat 18:16 "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED.
How often should an offended person go to another person before moving on to step 3 in the disciplinary process? Is it a matter of the length of time, or the number of times? Neither. In Matthew 18:16 the operative phrase is "if he won't listen to you."
Notice similar commands in verse 17:
Mat 18:17 "And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.
This does not imply that you have been to him but once and, upon his refusal to listen, you move on.
No. The refusal must be a genuine one. This means that if, in the heat of the battle, he will not listen to reason, you will wait until he has had time to cool off and then try again. Perhaps you will want to try several times before stepping up the process.
Always remember the goal of church discipline is restoration. The people you take with you if you must proceed to step 3 all must have the same objective in mind of gaining back your brother.
Verse 16 says, “by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be confirmed.”
The witnesses are initially to be silent witnesses, listening to both sides.
* They may very well find the person who called them there to be in the wrong.
* They may find the offender continuing to be unrepentant.
In the end if the offender refuses to listen to them, then they proceed to the next step. How many times do they approach the offender before they go to the next step? As with the previous step, they should try to determine whether or not his refusal is a genuine one. –“if he refuses to listen…”
Step One - Examine Yourself. (Self-Discipline)
Step Two - Tell Him His Sin Alone. (One-on-One)
Step Three - Take Some Witnesses (One or Two Others)
Step Four - Tell the Church.
Mat 18:17a "And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church..."
Step four falls under what is referred to as formal church discipline. It is categorized this way because the church as an institution becomes involved in the process only after the first three steps have failed.
Progressing from step 3 to step 4 is also a major transition. The church now officially administers church discipline. A brother under official discipline should be told so.
Ordinarily, in a church that is comfortable with it, church discipline achieves its objectives at stage 2 or 3. So often when the process makes its way up to step four it is because there was a failure to exercise informal discipline at an earlier point before the sinful act became a habitual practice that had to be met with formal discipline.
Jumping to Step Four
Another point needs to be made here. Sometimes it is necessary to skip all the proceeding steps because of the nature of the problem that necessitated the discipline. For example, in the case of incest mentioned in 1 Corinthians 5, the matter was initiated at the official level because the offense was so open and apparent to everyone. Notice 1 Corinthians 5:1:
1 Cor 5:1 It is actually (generally, commonly) reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father's wife.
Mat 18:17 says, "And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church..." How does one "tell it to the church?
"Telling it to the church" means telling it to those who are part of the body of Christ and more specifically those who are members of the local assembly.
At this point, the world has no right to know about the matter. This means that it is not a good idea to stand up in the middle of a worship service (where there is a mixture of believers and unbelievers according to 1 Cor. 14:23-25) and declare what has happened.
This means that one must tell the church either at a closed meeting of its membership (those who are baptized and are thereby under its care and discipline), duly called by the elders in a decent and orderly manner for that purpose, or one does so by telling the elders in their capacity as representatives of the church.
Frequently in the Old Testament when God wished to speak to Israel as a whole, He summoned and addressed the elders, who then conveyed His message to the people (cf. Ex. 3:15-16; 19:3,7).
This is probably the meaning of "tell it to the church": tell it to the church by telling it to the elders.
In Step Four, both the elders and the congregation play a part:
The Elders' Part -
At this point the elders are informed of the brother’s reluctance to repent; Step Four of church discipline is initiated.
However, the elders should not immediately call for a closed-door meeting of the church. Before telling the congregation, the elders should seek to persuade the brother or sister to forsake the sin.
When do the elders tell it to the local assembly? The elders tell it to the local assembly when the so-called brother "refuses to listen" to the elders.
The Congregations Part -
The elders inform the congregation that the brother or sister is under church discipline for a particular sin. This is essential if they are to obey Paul's command in Romans 16:17 to "mark (KJV)" the person and in 2 Thessalonians. 3:14 to “…take special note of him…”
Why is the congregation told to mark him?
mark - "to make or put a sign on him."; to identify him. As we will find out later, the congregation is obligated to pray for an offender and counsel him or her to repent. It is also commanded not to have fellowship with the offender.
The elders announce to the membership either through letter or closed meeting, with as little detail as possible, the nature of the problem. The elders may say something like this, "Joe is under discipline for infidelity…" or "Jane is under discipline for failing to submit to her husband's leadership in the home."
At this point the congregation should do two things:
1.) No longer fellowship with him as if nothing were wrong (2 Thess 3:14-15).
2.) Seek to counsel him to repentance (Gal. 6:1).
Let’s look at each of these responsibilities with more detail:
1.) No longer fellowship with him as if nothing were wrong (2 Thess 3:14-15).
The congregation may no longer fellowship with him as though nothing were wrong. They are told, "Don't mix or mingle, with him" (2 Thess. 3:14; 1 Cor. 5:9,11), "withdraw from him" (2 Thess. 3:6; the word translated "withdraw" means "stand aloof; keep away from"), and "don't eat" with him (1 Cor. 5:11).
All these commands say one and the same thing: the congregation must regard the so-called brother (1 Cor. 5:11) "as a brother" (2 Thess. 3:15), but as one whose status is in question. (There is some doubt about whether he is really a brother, because he fails to heed the warnings of the brethren and the authority of Christ exercised by His officers in the church.)
This is important as so often in the church when there is knowledge that a brother or sister is in sin we react at either two extremes:
We act as if nothing was wrong.
We ostracize the person as if they were the devil.
How does a member withdraw from an offender? If the sinning member calls you and says "Let's go out for a bite to eat or see a movie", etc., you must respond by saying something like this, "I'd like that very much, but I have been informed that you are under church discipline and have not repented. I'd rather spend that time talking to you about the problem instead."
1 Corinthians 5:11 tells us not to eat with such a person. “Not to eat” means two things:
(a) That normal fellowship is broken. Eating with another, in biblical times, was the sign of fellowship;
(b) That the offender is forbidden to partake of the Lord's Supper because, according to 1 Cor. 10:16-17, partaking is "communion" or fellowship, the very thing prohibited at stage 4.
If he refuses to heed the elders and their warnings, Paul says that he must be removed from table fellowship and all other forms of normal fellowship in order to "shame" him into repentance (2 Thess. 3:14)
Yesterday while fellowshipping at the fall Festival, some of us were talking about how some of the whippings we got as children would be considered as “child abuse” by today’s standards. Did parents love their children less in those times than parents do today? Did the children grow up to hate their parents because of the whippings and spankings?
I say the parents of yesterday were more in tune with the Scriptural exhortation to “spare not the rod…”
Prov 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Prov 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
Prov 23:13 Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
Prov 23:14 You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.
Prov 26:3 A whip for the horse, A bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the fool's back.
Prov 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
I believe that juvenile crimes have increased because parents are more inclined to give their children “talks” and “time outs” and drugs than good old-fashioned, bible-based whoopings.
In very much the same way, there is increased sin in the church because churches and their leadership care more about a person’s self-esteem than their holiness.
And then you have pastors who are more concerned about growing their membership than growing a Christian into the image of Christ.
We have had times when members of our church have been confronted about sin and rather than repent of it they leave and join another church. I have sent letters to the pastors, talked with and met with some only for them to ignore my letter or to make promises to confront the person and then not have the courage or conviction to follow through.
The Bible says if a brother or sister refuses to heed the elders and their warnings, Paul says that he must be removed from table fellowship and all other forms of normal fellowship in order to "shame" him or her into repentance.
Remember, the goal of church discipline isn’t alienation, it’s restoration and reconciliation.
Step One - Examine Yourself. (Self-Discipline)
Step Two - Tell Him His Sin Alone. (One-on-One)
Step Three - Take Some Witnesses (One or Two Others)
Step Four - Tell the Church.
Step Five - Treat Him as an Outsider.
The last step in the process of church discipline can be found at the end of Matthew 18, verse 17:
(Mat 18:17 NKJV) "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
The heathen and tax collector were those who were outside of the body of Christ.
Jesus is saying in verse 17 that if a person wants to persistently conduct himself like an unbeliever, he is to be regarded by the church as an unbeliever.
John tells us that this is a choice that a person makes by his or her own behavior:
1 John 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, in order that it might be shown that they all are not of us.
What this means is that those who leave the church, renouncing Christ, make it evident that though at one time they were a part of the visible body, they were never saved; they never belonged to the invisible church.
John is also letting us know that if a person is a genuine Christian he will return in repentance to the church; knowing that it is possible for a genuine Christian to leave the church in a fit of anger or in a time of crisis without renouncing Christ.
But unregenerate persons who were within the outward, organized church but not really of the inner, saved body of Christ, unless they get saved at a later time, they will not return. Something like this is what happens in church discipline.
We see an example of step five occurring in the Corinthian church:
(1 Cor 5:13 NASB) But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES.
A. How are people "removed from the midst" of the assembly?
The New Testament uses other terms and expressions to describe the dismissal of a member from the care and discipline of the church. The way the New Testament puts it is:
1. Remove him from your midst (1 Cor. 5:2);
2. Clean out the leaven (1 Cor. 5:7);
3. Get him out of your midst (1 Cor. 5:13);
4. Deliver this person to Satan (1 Cor 5:5);
5. I have handed them over to Satan (1 Tim. 1:20);
6. Treat him as a heathen and a tax collector (Mat. 18:17b).
Does this mean that we should hire a “bouncer” to escort the person from the church building?
Should we have a special “trap door” or “ejector seat” that removes the person from our midst?
Should we print the person’s name in the bulletin or have a post-office mug shot hanging in the foyer on the bulletin board?
By the time church discipline reaches Step Five it has already started in Step Four as an unrepentant member is disfellowshipped, that is, not allowed to participate in common, intimate fellowship such as the Lord's Supper.
The disfellowshipping that began in Step Four carries over to Step Five. In Step Four you treated him as a brother whose status as a brother was in question.
In Step Five you treat him as if he is not your brother because he isn’t conducting himself as a brother. He is simply treated as if he is not a member of the family.
It is difficult for us to visualize this because we live in a society where it is already hard to tell the difference between a believer and unbeliever.
Many who profess to be believers run with the unbelieving crowd and live no different than this crowd. Drawing a line of demarcation between the world and the church is a difficult thing to do in our day as:
* Christians enjoy the same ungodly music as the world.
* Christians pleasure themselves with the same unwholesome amusements as the world.
* Christians go to many of the same immoral places as unbelievers do.
* Christians dress the same as the world with no regard for modesty and holiness.
How does one tell the difference between a Christian and an unbeliever?
In 1 John 3:10 we find the words, “In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God…” In other words, it is not someone’s words or their testimony---it is their conduct—their lifestyle!
How is a Christian to respond to one who has been disfellowshipped from the church?
Let’s answer these questions.
B. How are members in the assembly to respond to this person?
1.) According to Jesus' command, the members are to treat him as a heathen and a tax collector.
(Mat 18:17 NKJV) "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
What does this mean?
Heathen/Gentile: Originally referred (in the Old Testament) to people who were not part of God’s chosen family at birth or of a different religion. In the New Testament, these are those who are not part of the God's family as a result of the "new birth."
The heathen was outside the church; he had never been a part of it.
The tax collector was a Jew that had sold his services to the Roman government (the enemy of the Jew) and was collecting taxes from his own countrymen and sometimes cheating them.
The person who is put out of the church and thus no longer to be considered a believer is to be treated exactly as one would treat other unbelievers.
How does one go about treating one who has made a profession of faith in Christ like an unbeliever?
Let me first share with you two things you don’t do:
You don’t start with judging his heart. You have arrived at this step in church discipline because of his words and actions. The church does not judge his heart (God alone is the Heart Knower), but the church must judge his words and actions.
You don’t ostracize or persecute the person. Treating a person as if he was an unsaved person doesn't mean that he should be ostracized or persecuted. It means that he should be treated as if he doesn't know Jesus Christ.
Letting the person be to you “like a heathen and a tax collector” means treating the person as if he doesn't know Jesus Christ.
For example, if he wishes to marry a believer, the church would not permit it since believers are to "marry in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39).
It also means that when you talk to him you have an obligation, just like you would with any other unbeliever, to evangelize him, that is to share the Gospel with him in hope that he would give his life to Jesus.
One of two things may result from this:
If the one who is put out of the church is a believer, this type of response from the church may "shame" him into repentance and restoration (2 Th 3:14 NASB - And if anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that man and do not associate with him, so that he may be put to shame.)
Or if he isn't a Christian, God may use the witness of the Gospel to bring him to faith in Jesus Christ.
A misapplication
In step 5 passages like the following would apply:
1. Remove him from your midst (1 Cor. 5:2);
2. Clean out the leaven (1 Cor. 5:7);
3. Get him out of your midst (1 Cor. 5:13);
However, some (Like Jehovah’s Witnesses) interpret this to mean that he is not allowed to attend the worship services of the church. That is a wrong reading of the passage.
What Paul means is that he is removed from the care and discipline of the church; he is no longer to be considered a member of the organized church.
"In the midst" means among believers--as one of them. The phrase "in the midst" has to do with the company or community of God's people, not the physical meeting place in which they worship (cf. Ex. 33:3,5; Deut. 11:6; 13:5; 17:20; Joshua 7:13; Judges 18:20; Matthew 18:20).
But since he is to be treated as a heathen, and since heathen are permitted to attend the services of the church (1 Cor. 14:23-25), unless he is acting divisively he should be allowed to hear the preaching of the Word and should be allowed to be witnessed to by the members.
2. Another way God’s people are to respond when a member has been disfellowshipped is by mourning
When Paul reproved the Corinthian church for their arrogance toward the situation surrounding the brother who fornicated with his father's wife, he told them that they should have mourned instead of being arrogant.
Instead of bragging and gossiping about his sin they should have instituted church discipline and removed him from their midst, turning him over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh.
I remember talking to a brother that was a member of a church where the pastor was found to have slept with several sisters in the church—impregnating at least one of them. He had no problem telling me about this but never lifted a finger to bring church discipline against this sinning pastor. This was the kind of attitude Paul was writing about.
This sin of the man in 1 Corinthians 5 might lead to his own death and the high probability of this person suffering death for his sin should have moved the church to mourn or to grieve for him.
During this period of grief, the church should be examining itself to make sure that it didn't contribute to the fall of the brother or sister.
The pastor who ordained me was found a year later to have slept with several of the women he was counseling. I heard one of his deacons make this remark, "We knew that there was something wrong with the pastor because of his walk but none of us said anything to him about it…" These deacons were partially to blame and should have been mourning over the adultery of their pastor.
If the church is found to have contributed to a person's failure, it needs to take responsibility for its neglect and seek forgiveness for that specific failure while at the same time communicating to the unrepentant person that the church's oversight doesn't excuse him or her from their sin and their need to repent.
Two illustrations; one for the sisters and the other for the guys:
For the sisters:
A lady suddenly came out in a rash all over her face and neck and body. She could not go out, for she felt too ashamed. She sent for the doctor, and he prescribed this and that, but she did not get better. The doctor came week after week, and she grew only worse. Her nerves became strained; she lacked fresh air, exercise, and fellowship with her friends.
The doctor could not make out the reason for the hideous rash. A specialist was called in and he could not understand the reason. One day in the presence of the doctor the lady said, "You know that woman next door. I wish I could kill her," and she shook with passion as she spoke.
The doctor said, "I have finally discovered the reason for this sickness which has broken out in your body and caused this discoloration of the skin. Now you get things right with your neighbor, and I will come to see you again." When the doctor came again, the trouble had started to clear up, and a few weeks later she was healed.
For the Guys:
A man felt a suspicious "bump" as he pulled his car into the driveway and came to a stop. Sure enough, one of the rear tires was flat, exposing the metal cord of the steel-belted radial. The next morning, when he visited the tire dealer, he noticed that the same brand of tire on the other side of the car showed no such wear.
He asked why. A mechanic explained that a nail had stuck in the rubber and transferred rust to the steel belts, weakening the interior of the tire. That in turn caused the belt and the tread to separate.
Just a nail and a little rust! How easily spiritual "bumps" can develop in the life of a Christian! Unconfessed sin in the heart is like rust on the steel belts. At first, nothing appears to be wrong, and we may even consider it of no consequence. But our love for the Lord wanes; interest in God's Word declines; prayer becomes less important. Soon spiritual progress comes to a bumping halt.
Church discipline prevents the rashes and the rust of sin from hindering our spiritual progress for Christ as individuals and a local assembly.
