ANTIDOTES FOR ANGER
Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned (Gautama Buddha). Cease from anger because it rests in the bosom of fools.
Anger is a strong emotional reaction of displeasure, often leading to plans for revenge or punishment. This world contains many angry people, not just nonbelievers alone, even Christians struggle with the powerful forces of anger. Anger is a rampant problem that wrecks families, harms children, tears apart churches, and divides the body of Christ. Are you an angry person?
Some people find that expressing their anger is satisfying and exhilarating. They feel powerful and superior when they intimidate others. However, anger damages those who give into it. Few people like to be around those who are angry.
Some individuals use anger to intimidate and control others, to feel superior, and to avoid dealing with problems and responsibilities. Anger may also stem from pride and selfishness, such as when a person fails to get his or her way, and from a lack of meekness or patience in the face of provocation. Some individuals become angry when feeling frustrated, hurt, or disappointed.
The scriptures warn against anger. David instructed the Israelites to “cease from anger, and forsake wrath” (Psalm 37:8). In Proverbs, it is taught that “he that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32). The writer of Ecclesiastes wrote, “Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry: for anger rests in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
One of the things that the devil uses against believers is anger. Let no man claim to be free from this spirit because a raging anger can be triggered only by frustration. When Moses was frustrated by the Israelites, his anger became unquenchable, this caused him to sin against God. Unfortunately, his inability to abolish the spirit of anger eventually destroyed him and caused him not to enter into the promised Land (Deuteronomy 34:4).
Anger leads to more anger. If you think ones anger is bad now, it will get worse unless you take a strong course of action. " Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions." (Proverbs 10:12)
Anger becomes addictive and angry people don’t simply change. "A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again " (Proverbs 19:19)
Anger is often expressed in three unhealthy ways–through aggression, internalization, or passive-aggressive behavior.
1. AGGRESSION.
Anger is expressed through:
---- Physical violence (hitting, biting, kicking, battering, hair pulling, pinching, slapping, destroying property).
----- Emotional and verbal abuse (yelling, name calling, swearing, threatening, blaming, ridiculing, arguing, provoking, intimidating, manipulating, demeaning).
---- Sexual abuse (rape, incest, molestation, sexual harassment).
2. INTERNALIZATION.
Anger is directed toward the self, leading to self-denigration, depression, or self-damaging acts (drinking, drug use, suicide attempts, self-mutilation).
3. PASSIVE - AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR.
Anger is expressed through indirect actions (tardiness, irresponsibility, stubbornness, sarcasm, dishonesty, irritability, discontentment, criticism, procrastination).
THERE ARE 6 KINDS OF ANGER
1. ANGER WITH OURSELVES.
Self anger is good and commendable; when we are angry with ourselves, either because we have done something which is ill, or have not done so much good, not so well as we might. Apostle Paul numbered this type of anger among the effects of that godly sorrow which works repentance unto salvation, not to be repented of: Indignation and revenge are both the births of anger; these are numbered among the effects of Godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:11). Indignation against others is seldom without sin; and revenge, in our own cause upon others, is ever sinful; these are to be repented of, and therefore they cannot be the effects of true repentance. It was then indignation and revenge upon themselves, because they have done evil, which the Apostle observed and commended as good in those Corinthians.
2. ANGER WITH OTHERS
It is a good thing to be angry, when we see others act against or depart from their duty, especially Christian duty. Those who cannot be angry with man on this ground has no zeal for God; while the anger of man waxes hot, purely upon this account, the spirit of God is the fire which boils it up. We are angry for God's sake when He is dishonored.
This anger cares about others, attacks the sin instead of the sinner. It is expressed when we are confronted with sins such as in cases of child abuse, pornography, racism, homosexuality activity, sexual fornication, abortion, and more. The biblical Christ get angry at sin, even the sins of His disciples (Matthew 23:1-26). Jesus is perfectly righteous, and holy and cannot endure the presence of transgression without responding in wrath because His anger is always righteous ( Romans 1:18). James also gives us excellent instruction when it comes to righteous indignation (James 1:19-20). The Apostle Peter echoes this advice, especially for those times when we face those antagonistic toward God and the things of God in (1 Peter 3:14-17).
This is a serious, virtuous and holy anger; while the Apostle gives a restriction to some anger, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath " (Ephesians 4:26); he gives not only a permission but a command for this.
Christians can also channel righteous anger into organizations that combat the influence of evil in society. Our outrage as Christians should lead to bringing others into a loving relationship with Christ.
3. PETTISH/FOOLISH ANGER
When we are angry with what we don't know; and most times, we don't even know why we are angry. People get angry with those things which cannot hurt them; some are angry with the stone they stumble at, with the rain that wets them, with the wind that blows upon them; if they are not humored, they are angry. Jonah was angry when he saw a Gourd withered, and a great City of Nineveh not destroyed (Jonah 4:1-11).
4. RIDICULOUS COWARDLY ANGER
This type of anger can be describe as when a puppy dog bark at someone and then run away. As some people are more afraid than being hurt, so others are so much afraid, that you don't need to fear that they will hurt you. This anger is just a bluster, and evaporates into words.
5. WRATHFUL ANGER
This is a slow and revengeful anger; an anger which is steeped in malice; a severe tough anger; an anger, whose coals are raked up in the ashes of a seeming forgetfulness, but with an intendment to break out into a consuming flame. Esau exhibited this kind of anger against his brother, he hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” (Genesis 27:41).The timely intervention of God's counsel against Esau's revengeful spirit saved his father and brother from being slayed by him.
Anger can become sinful when motivated by pride (James 1:20) or allowed to linger (Ephesians 4:26-27), and is unproductive and distorts the purposes of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Anger becomes sin when it is allowed to boil over unconstrained resulting in hurt being multiplied and leaving destruction in its wake (Proverbs 29:11).
This anger builds slowly as an individual perceives ongoing threats, injustice, or mistreatment or experiences a series of provocations. A threat may be physical or emotional. For example, the person may fear bodily harm, humiliation, or loss of esteem to self or others. In all these cases, becoming angry is a choice.
6. PASSIONATE FURIOUS ANGER
This is a vehement raging anger, both towards others and ourselves; with which Bildad charged Job , "He tears himself in his anger: shall the earth be forsaken for you? and shall the rock be removed out of his place?" (Job 18:4).
This anger is unreasonable; it knows no bounds, nor does it keep any bound. An angry man goes out of himself, out of his wits, off from his reason; and when he is pacified and the storm has calmed down, he return again to his senses. Such anger is a short madness, and madness is but a long anger. Those who are full of reason, are furthest from this anger, and most displeased with themselves for it, if at any time it appear upon them.
FURIOUS ANGER MAY HURT OTHERS, BUT IT HURTS OURSELVES MOST
Angry persons are their own enemy. God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the gourd?” And he said, “It is right for me to be angry, even to death!”(Jonah 4:9) . He meant - not only of being angry till he died, but of dying for anger. It is hurtful when a mortal man carries his resistance against the immortal God. Some anger is not only a grief for what is upon us, but a kind of stomaching at him who lays it upon us.
The long-term physical effects of uncontrolled anger include increased anxiety, high blood pressure and headache. Awareness of distorted perceptions and the physical changes that accompany them provides important keys to controlling anger
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned" (Gautama Buddha).
ANTIDOTES FOR ANGER
Truly, dealing with anger starts with the gospel. The life-changing message of God’s infinite grace must pervade our understanding of how we respond to anger in our life. As part of that, the Bible has a lot to say about about anger. Here are the ways that the Bible tells us to deal with our anger.
1. PUT OFF ANGER , AND PUT ON KINDNESS, TENDERHEARTEDNESS, AND FORGIVENESS.
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”(Ephesians 4:31-32) The way that the Bible tells us to deal with symptoms of anger and malice is to put them off–just to stop doing it. But it doesn’t stop there. It also requires putting something on, since the only way to effectively to put off anything is to put something on in its place. Rather than focus on your anger, put on kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness.
2. DONT ALLOW YOUR ANGER TO CONTINUE WITH YOU
"Let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Ephesians 4:27). Anger may pass through the heart of a wise man, but It rests in the bosom of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9). It is lawful to do some things, but to continue doing them may be unlawful. Anger against sin, and enmity against the seed of the serpent must continue, but the continuance of anger against any other thing or person is sinful.
3. AVOID ANGRY PEOPLE
“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man”( Proverbs 22:24). Angry people make other people angry. The Bible instructs us not to avoid friendships with angry people, because it is a major cause of developing anger in ourselves too.
4. REALIZE THE CONSEQUENCES OF ANGER
“A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.” (Proverbs 29:22) . “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. ”(Matthew 5:22).
Anger produces strife and transgression. As you consider your anger, realize that the end of anger is usually sin. That’s why Jesus tells us that anger must be met with judgment.
5. GET OUT OF ANGER- PROVOKING SITUATIONS
As anger increases and chemicals build in the body, the ability to reason and to control behavior decreases. It may help individuals to imagine a thermometer that measures their anger level. If they lose control at 80 degrees, they can learn to get out of the situation before it gets that hot. If they need to leave a situation, they can tell the other person, “I’m getting angry. I need some time to cool down.”
6. GIVE A CANDID INTERPRETATION, both of words and actions.
The glass through which we look, gives its colour to the object. Anger is usually blown up by misconstrue. Give that thing troubles you another name; if there is a mistake in it and regard it as being done out of ignorance. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).
7. DO NOT GIVE AN EASY EAR TO REPORTS; do not always hear what others say of you, or what it is said they do. Many people tear themselves with anger, when they hear that they are torn with slander; and while they have a curiosity to hear what others say of them, they want patience to bear what they hear. It is better we should be in the dark concerning our own wrongs, than to wrong ourselves by that passion which the light we get about them stirs up in us.
8. ASK GOD FOR THE WISDOM TO BE SLOW TO ANGER
“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense ”(Proverbs 19:11); “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” (Proverbs 14:29); “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32).
Wise people are slow to anger. The Bible calls it “good sense” and “great understanding.” It’s wisdom to be slow to anger. God promises that He will give us the wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5-8).
9. BE SLOW TO SPEAK AND SLOW TO ANGER
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”(Proverbs 15:1); “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God”(James 1:19-20).
A soft answer turns away from wrath–in you and in whomever may be angry with you. Rather than cutting loose with angry gestures and cuss words, speak softly. Pray.
10. WALK IN THE SPIRIT
“….But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,” etc.”(Galatians 5:18-24 ) The fruits of the Spirit produces behavior that is contrary to anger. Walk in the Spirit, and by doing so, your life will be characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
11. HAVE AN EYE UPWARD TO HEAVEN during provocations; this will balance the spirit, and make it steady. Heaven is above all storms and tempests, and the more we converse there, the less stormy are our hearts. David had provocation enough to make him angry, and boil up his passion to the height (2 Samuel 16:5). Shimei cursed him, but he looked up, God has said to him "Curse David", and then how calm and meek was his spirit? As that is a good anger which is for God's sake, so looking up to God will keep us from evil anger.
12. REST IN GOD'S SOVEREIGNTY
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God”(James 1:19-20). Perhaps one of the most reassuring and comforting attributes of God is His sovereignty–the biblical truth of God’s control, arrangement, and loving direction of everything that happens. If you look at your anger through the lens of God’s sovereignty, it begins to look very small. Rather than stare down at the little things that make you angry, look up at the majestic sovereignty and character of God. It really puts things into perspective. Pray–the honest acknowledgment of God’s sovereignty–is the way to see God in this way. As James 1:19 says, it allows us to “pray, lifting holy hands without anger.”
13. RELY ON GOD'S GRACE
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works.”( Ephesians 2:8-9). We are saved by grace and we are sanctified by grace. As discussed above, fighting anger isn’t something we can accomplish on our own. It’s part of submitting to God’s marvelous grace–His unmerited favor toward us.
PRAYER TO OVERCOME ANGER
Heavenly Father, I repent and confess all the sin of anger and bitterness in my life. Forgive me Lord for the pain my anger has caused so many people, yet I realize that my sin of anger is directed against You and it is against You alone that I have sinned in this way. I ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
I pray that You will create in me a forgiving heart towards all those that have hurt me so deeply. And knowing that the Lord Jesus forgave me so many sins, I confess that I too should forgive others.
I place that anger and bitterness that I often harbor in my heart at Your feet and pray that in Your grace You will expose all that is causing the bitter poison that is lodged within my heart and set me free from it in Jesus name!
Cast me not away from your presence O' Lord, take not thy Holy Spirit from me, restore unto me the joy of my salvation and renew a right Spirit within me in Jesus name!
Examine my heart Lord and root out all the bitterness and resentment that is so deeply rooted within me, and set me free from the deep pain that is within me.
Help me to walk in righteousness by Your grace, that I would be able to obey all You want for me to do. Help me to love my enemies and to be good to those who hate me, and to pray for those who spitefully use me.
Father, give me peace that surpasses all understanding and help me to remember, when others fail in their love for me, that Yours is never ending, and Your presence is always close to those who fear You.
Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers. In Jesus Name I have prayed, Amen.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! "(Psalm 139:23-24)
WORKS CITED
1. Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology.
2. "Overcoming Anger" (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org).
3. "What Does the Bible Say About Anger?" by Dave Jenkins.
4. "Anger - how it affects people" by Better Health Channel.
5. "Are You Angry? Dealing with Anger according to the Bible." by Daniel Threlfal.
6. "Prayer to overcome weaknesses" by Cedarland Restaurant.
7. "An exposition on the book of Job" by Joseph Caryl.
8. Other sources from the Internet.
James Dina
jodina5@gmail.com
25th September, 2020
