9.20.20 Matthew 18:15–20
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his sin just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And, if he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as an unbeliever or a tax collector. 18 Amen I tell you: Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 Amen I tell you again: If two of you on earth agree to ask for anything, it will be done for them by my Father who is in heaven. 20 In fact where two or three have gathered together in my name, there I am among them.”
How do we Deal with Sin? We Confront It
As Lutherans, you will regularly hear that we are born in sin. All our righteous acts are like filthy rags. This is done to emphasize that we have to be saved by grace alone and Christ alone. However, the devil seems to be at work even in true doctrine. If everything is sin, and everyone is a sinner, then there’s nothing you can really do about it. So a little bit of porn, a slander here or there, having too much to drink on occasion, an insensitive comment, it all comes with the territory of “life.” What are you going to do? Don’t worry about it. Sinners sin. Jesus died for sinners. It is what it is.
All of this is true to a point. Sin is everywhere, but that DOESN’T MEAN you shouldn’t fight against it. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve your life. It doesn’t mean you should regard sin as no big deal since everyone does it. The reason we emphasize sin is so that you realize how much you need a Savior, not so that you think it’s ok to be a sinner.
As time goes on under Covid-19, I wonder how many of our members really realize their need for forgiveness. How can you go for months on end without seeking the body and blood of Christ? Do you not realize how sinful you are and how much you need Jesus? Where is your thirst? Where is your hunger? Don’t you care about keeping your faith strong?
I don’t like asking such confrontational questions. Yet this is part of what God calls on us to do - to confront one another when we see sin or the danger of sin. If your brother sins against you, go and show him his sin. Jesus didn’t tell us to ignore it or just live with it. He told us to confront it so that we can repent and cling to Him all the more for forgiveness. You don’t have to be rude about it. You don’t have to be mean or yell about it. It can be as simple as saying, “That’s not right,” or “you can do better than that.” “I want what’s best for you, and this isn’t it. Let’s not go down that road.”
God never said it would be easy. Look at your Bible history.
I think of Elijah who had to run for his life when he was called on to confront Ahab and Jezebel. They hated his guts. They called him the enemy of Israel. He had to live by a brook and get fed by ravens for who knows how long? He didn’t enjoy being an enemy of the state.
In our Old Testament lesson Ezekiel was threatened with judgment if he didn’t say what God wanted him to say in order to correct a sinner. If God had to use threats, it shows how difficult correction can be and how we can buck our heels in against doing it.
Think even of Jesus who confronted the Pharisees and teachers of the law. Do you think He enjoyed embarrassing them? (Well, maybe He did.) I don’t know. But I would tend to think not, not if He wanted them to repent. These were men who knew their Old Testament and were zealous for the Word, but who had misinterpreted it. They needed to see their hypocritical sins, so Jesus pointed it out to them, not in order to roast them, but to have them repent.
If he listens to you, you have regained your brother.
The word for “regained” is kerdainw in the Greek. It means to avoid a loss. Think of someone who is not paying attention while driving and is heading off the road. They’re still on the road. They haven’t gotten in an accident yet, but it is coming pretty quick. By saying something now, you are keeping someone from getting lost in their faith and putting them back on the right path through your correction.
I was reading C.S. Lewis the other day, and he had an interesting take on the way good and evil work. He said,
The little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a STRATEGIC POINT from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An APPARENTLY TRIVIAL indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible. (Mere Christianity)
How many times have you gone down a pathway that you can’t turn back on, and you wish to yourself, “If only I hadn’t taken that turn in life. . .” What if you had Christian friends looking after you and warning you NOT to go down that road at the time?
God has placed us as watchmen of each other at the bridges of life. You can see from a third person perspective when someone you love is being led astray by their own desires or weaknesses. You know it’s going to lead to something worse; a drunk driving ticket; a loss of job; an abusive relationship; a divorce. You can call to them and tell them they need to turn around. You are the first line of defense for your children, your parents, and your friends.
But the devil says, “Don’t judge! Let them go!” You even say to yourself, “Who am I to judge? I don’t know what to say. He’s just going to get mad at me.” So you say nothing in hopes that God will work it out. For heaven’s sake, if you have any love of your brothers and sisters, your children and grandchildren, speak up before it’s too late! Say something. Say it softly. Say it kindly. Say it privately. But say it.
If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. Sometimes that’s all it takes. The solid Christian appreciates the rebuke. He listens and repents. He might get a little angry or defensive, but if he takes a step back he will respect the fact that you took the courage and the time to point it out. This is exactly what God wants. Thank God when it works!
Other times it doesn’t work so well. There was a man who was an elder of his congregation. He knew that he was supposed to give a good example of a Christian household to the church, so he decided that it was his job to make sure that his wife and children were obedient to him. He actually made a list of all that she was doing wrong as a wife and his children were doing wrong. He told her every day. He belittled her and told her how she was not submitting as she should. He threatened to divorce her if she didn’t shape up, and told her how worthless she would be without him. Any time she tried to defend herself, he only belittled her and yelled all the more. He was mentally and spiritually abusing her and the children, and he didn’t even realize it. The wife, God bless her, she wanted to stay married, but he was becoming more and more aggressive, and she was feeling in danger for herself and her children. She knew he wouldn’t listen to her or her friends. She was afraid to go to the pastor because her husband was an elder and his friend, but she went anyway.
This is sometimes what is needed. If he will not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ It doesn’t have to be a pastor, but it is good to have a solid Christian who is not directly related to the situation so that he or she can take an objective look at the situation according to God’s Word.
How did the husband respond? Not well. He felt embarrassed and betrayed by her and the pastor. He accused the pastor of being naive and taking sides and screamed at him over the phone when the pastor called. When the pastor tried to get him to come in and listen to his side of the story, he refused because he was sure he would only agree with his wife. (Who was HE to think that he had ANY RIGHT to butt in on THEIR marriage?) After the conversation, the pastor feared for her safety, so he even went so far as to tell her to get a restraining order. He didn’t want the husband taking communion either as long as he had such anger and hate in his heart. So the elder decided he would tell his fellow elders and church members how he was being ramrodded by the pastor and his wife. He thought the church was conservative, but here they were painting him out to be the abusive one, not standing up for the role of the man in the marriage.
Then what has to happen? If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And, if he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as an unbeliever or a tax collector. The entire church needs to take a stand against sin. They too have to confront him over what he’s been doing. What happened to the elder? He had no semblance of repentance. He went on to tell people how he was kicked out of the church and how the pastor was a complete idiot. He left and never came back, blaming his wife and the church for turning their back on him.
Could things have been done better? Probably. But what was the alternative? Allow the man to keep abusing his wife? These are sticky and ugly situations, but for the love of the abused, and even for the love of the abuser, it needs to be dealt with firmly and lovingly, otherwise sin goes unchecked. What would have happened to the wife who had to endure it and the children who would witness such abuse? What would have happened to the husband if his behavior was never confronted? He never would have had the opportunity to repent.
Think of the situation in our epistle lesson. Peter had stopped eating with the Gentiles. He was giving the impression that the Gentiles were sinning by eating certain foods and that they weren’t good enough to mingle with the Jews. Paul didn’t want to embarrass Peter in front of everyone, but it was a public sin, and it had to be addressed publicly. If he didn’t confront it, the Gospel was at stake. The Gentiles would get the impression that they had to go back under the Old Testament Law. So Paul had to confront him and them. We don’t hear any more of this confrontation. It didn’t lead to a schism. Peter repented. Paul forgave. Life went on.
That’s what happens when Christians are lovingly confronted and they respond as they should. They repent. They forgive. Life moves on. Sometimes, confrontation works. The rebuke burns into the soul. They repent. Sometimes people amend their ways and work hard to never fall back under the sin that they succumbed to. It can be a lifelong struggle, where they need forgiveness and strength to keep on fighting. But it can happen.
A problem within Christianity today is that this isn’t happening enough. Unfortunately, Christians sin too. We are sinners. We can be stubborn too. It is what happens. The devil works overtime on us. But the mark of a faithful church is in how they deal with sin. Do we confront it or not? Do we let it go or not? That starts with YOU and your family. Are you tolerating and covering up for sins that should be confronted and exposed? Are you allowing sins to go on with yourself that you know you should repent of? Here Jesus gives us an honest and forthright way to deal with sin head on. If your brother sins against you, go and show him his sin. It isn’t easy. It isn’t fun. But it is how we keep the sinful nature and Satan at bay.
Years ago I read through a children’s series called Eragon. Eragon was going to face a strong and evil sorcerer named Galbatorix who had taken over the land through murder and violence. Finally, after battle upon battle to get to him, Eragon was able to confront Galbatorix deep within his lair. On the brink of defeat, Eragon uttered a single phrase in order to try and overcome him. It was the word “understand.” Galbatorix had lied to himself throughout the years, convincing himself that all the evil he had done was for the good of the whole. So when Eragon’s simple one word spell got through to him, he had to see himself for who he was and what he had done. He was overwhelmed with grief and he died over recognizing what he’d done.
This is not the purpose of why we show people their sins. We don’t want them to die of grief. We want them, instead, to find forgiveness in Jesus. We want them to find comfort in His love. We want them to find strength to live a new and holy life, to the glory of God’s name. Before that can happen, sometimes they need to be shown their sin so they can understand who they are or what they’re doing. It sometimes takes a great and bold battle of loving confrontation and persistence to reach through people’s defenses, but this is how God wants to work - through you. God give you the strength to be confrontational when you need to be. God give you the faith to let HIM take care of the results. Amen.
