A. The story is told about a little boy who liked to ask the blessing before his family’s meals.
1. One day, he asked to say the prayer and was given permission to say it.
2. His dad and mom and siblings bowed their heads and closed their eyes.
3. The little boy started the prayer, but then hesitated and silence hung in the air for a moment.
4. Glancing toward his father, the boy implored, “Daddy, wake up and help me!”
B. So, what do you think of that little guy’s request? “Daddy, wake up and help me!”
1. It is a pretty good request – the boy needed help and he asked his father for it.
2. In today’s sermon, we are going to be learning about how to bring our requests to God, and as we explore the Psalms about this subject, we will discover prayers very similar to that little boy’s request.
3. For instance, Psalm 44:23 says: “Wake up, LORD! Why are you sleeping? Get up! Don’t reject us forever!”
C. So, as you likely know, we are in a sermon series that I have called “Good Grief: Expressing Grief, Finding Grace.”
1. The series is based on a book by Mark Vroegop titled “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy.”
2. For several weeks we have been talking about the reality of grief and loss, and our need to learn to lament in the midst of our pain and suffering.
3. We have discussed the fact that lament has four parts and how Mark Vroegop has boiled them down to these four words: (1) turn, (2) complain, (3) ask, and (4) trust.
4. Two weeks ago, we focused on the process of turning to God in prayer, and how we need to keep turning to God.
a. If we refuse to talk with God by giving God the silent treatment, then we will be harmed rather than helped by that choice.
5. Last week, we focused on the process of bringing our complaints to God with humility and honesty.
a. We learned that God is okay with our honest description of what is happening to us and how it is making us feel.
b. And God is okay with the expression of our disappointments, even if our disappointment is with God because of God’s seeming disinterest or lack of assistance.
D. These first two steps in lament are designed to lead to the third and fourth steps – asking and trusting.
1. So today, we want to spend time exploring what it means to bring our requests to God and how to do it.
2. This may seem like the simplest and easiest of all of the steps, and it may be, but there are still some things we need to understand and we may need to grow in our ability to bring our requests to God.
E. Since we have been using Mark and Sarah Vroegop’s story as a backdrop or illustration of the need for lament and how to lament, let’s jump back into their story.
1. Mark titled his chapter on the third step of lament “Ask Boldly” and begins his chapter saying: “Thankfully, the prayer of complaint in the parking lot was not the end of our story. A few months later Sarah was pregnant again. Back in the dreaded ultrasound room, we could see the grainy flutter of a heartbeat and the clear formation of a little body. Life!
I wanted desperately to be relieved. I hoped to be happy. But I wasn’t. I was frightened.
After so much pain and disappointment, my heart was jaded. I was not only afraid of losing
another child, I was scared to hope again.
The months that followed brought a new set of challenges. Sarah and I battled fear nearly every day. Discouragement and anxiety seemed to lurk around every corner. Each doctor’s appointment brought terrible memories back as we waited to hear our unborn baby’s heartbeat. We made multiple emergency room trips, fearing that our baby hadn’t moved, only to learn that everything was fine. Our new normal was a brutal fight.”
2. I appreciate and employ Mark and Sarah’s story because it is so real and so raw.
a. And because they are people of faith, their story gives us a truthful and helpful example of how having faith makes all the difference, but it doesn’t make it easy when we suffer loss.
3. Mark goes on to tell that he was part of a group of ministers who met to pray for revival in their city.
a. As these ministers prayed together for revival in their city, they became friends and would also pray for each other.
4. During one of those group prayer times, Mark opened up to them, he began to lament his fears about Sarah’s pregnancy.
a. He shared that their fight for faith left him exhausted. His soul was weary.
b. In front of the other pastors he talked candidly to the Lord about his daily battle with anxiety and doubts.
c. He says it was a brutally honest lament.
d. After he finished his tear-filled complaint, the other pastors gathered around him and they began to pray for him.
e. Mark says that a pastor named Bernie placed his thick hand on his chest and prayed with bold confidence: “God, I call on you to give strength to my brother.”
f. Bernie pressed his hand more firmly on Mark’s chest like he was pushing his prayer into Mark’s heart and prayed again, but louder, “I pray for strength for my brother.”
g. Then almost shouting, Bernie prayed, “Strength for my brother!”
5. Mark says that something happened deep within his soul.
a. Bernie’s prayer was filled with such confidence in the Lord.
b. Bernie called on God with an authority that was strangely refreshing.
c. Mark says that his fear didn’t vanish, but Bernie’s confidence in God became his.
d. Mark says that his heartfelt complaint was eclipsed by Bernie’s bold request.
F. The process of lament takes us through the progression of turning to God and expressing our complaints about our suffering and losses, but then this next step involves confidently calling on God to act in accordance with His character and abilities.
1. When we read through the lament psalms, we are reminded of Mark Vroegop’s friend Bernie, because the psalmists are equally bold in their requests.
2. The psalmists call on God with such boldness it seems as if they’re commanding God to act.
3. It is their confidence in God’s character and their knowledge of God’s past actions that compel them to make bold requests.
4. Those who write laments and pray prayers of lament stake their claims on the promises of God.
G. I like the way Mark Vroegop uses the idea of an eclipse when he talks about how our bold requests for God’s help based on who God is and what God has promised to do “eclipses our complaints.”
1. Just as one heavenly body moves into the shadow of another during an eclipse, so too our questions and complaints move into the shadow when our focus on who God is comes into the forefront.
2. The “why” questions of complaint, get eclipsed by the “who” realities of God.
3. The “why is this happening?” moves into the shadow of “who is God?” and “What can He do?”
4. Those “why” questions and complaints haven’t disappeared or gone away, they are just eclipsed by our faith in “who” God is and what God can do.
5. This is the role of the 2nd two steps of lament: As we make our requests to God and trust that God is able to help us, the pain, anxiety and disappointment of our complaints take a backseat.
H. Let’s turn our attention to Psalm 22, where we find a great example of a lament where the “why” questions become eclipsed by the “who” realities.
1. We recognize the first verse of Psalm 22, because Jesus quoted David’s lament in Psalm 22 in His final moments on the cross.
2. In the first two verses of Psalm 22, we find the first two steps of lament (turn and complain): 1 My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far from my deliverance and from my words of groaning? 2 My God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, by night, yet I have no rest (Ps. 22:1-2).
3. That turning to God and those words of complaint are real, raw, and powerful – they express the agony of abandonment.
4. Perhaps you have found yourself in a place of suffering and loss and felt that kind of abandonment – that’s where David was when he wrote those words.
5. Like I said last week, that kind of complaint is so important and we must not avoid it, but neither must we stay there.
6. The complaint step isn’t the final step, rather it is designed to take us to the next step or we get stuck in despair.
I. Psalm 22 illustrates for us how to move from step 2 to step 3.
1. Following the two very pointed complaints, David then turns to God’s character.
2. The Christian Standard Bible uses the word “but” for the transition, but other translations use the word “yet.”
3. The words “but” or “yet” become the bridge that leads from complaint to bold requests: 3 But you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. 4 Our ancestors trusted in you; they trusted, and you rescued them. 5 They cried to you and were set free; they trusted in you and were not disgraced (Ps. 22:3-5).
4. Then, after David rehearses the cruel mocking that is causing him pain in verses 6-8, he returns again to a focus on God in verses 9 and 10: 9 It was you who brought me out of the womb, making me secure at my mother’s breast. 10 I was given over to you at birth; you have been my God from my mother’s womb (Ps. 22:9-10).
5. Do you see what David is doing?
a. In his deep pain and his sense of abandonment, he anchors his soul to who God is and what God has done.
b. Later we’ll see David make his bold requests despite the presence of questions and the rising level of his frustrations.
c. David’s complaints are not a dead end of sorrow, but are a bridge that leads him to God’s character.
J. This is the beauty and effectiveness of the lament and the place of the “buts” and “yets.”
1. “But God” marks the place in our journey where pain and belief coexist.
2. “But God” is how we gain the confidence to ask boldly in spite of the sorrow and grief we feel.
3. “But God” reminds us that sorrow doesn’t have to disappear before we ask God for help.
K. The weight of our questions and doubts, and the pain and sorrow we feel can cut us off from God.
1. These things can cause us to stop asking God for help.
2. So, let me ask you: is there anything you have stopped asking God to do in your life?
3. Has the pain of circumstances or have the disappointments of unanswered prayers led you to a resigned silence before God?
4. We must not allow that to happen – we must learn to make “But God” our favorite words.
L. With the character of God in the forefront of David’s thoughts, he is ready to make his bold requests of God: 19 But you, Lord, don’t be far away. My strength, come quickly to help me. 20 Rescue my life from the sword, my only life from the power of these dogs. 21 Save me from the lion’s mouth, from the horns of wild oxen. You answered me! (Ps. 22:19-21).
1. David desperately needs God’s help and his lament is filled with urgency and expectation.
2. Notice how each request confidently calls upon God to act.
3. The character of God, combined with the desperation of pain, pushes David to make bold requests.
M. So what kinds of requests can we bring to God? The answer is: there is no limit.
1. The lament psalms are filled with a variety of requests and this is because the uniqueness of painful circumstances give rise to a variety of bold requests.
2. That’s another reason the laments psalms can be so helpful to us.
3. As different and new seasons of sorrow come into our lives, we can turn to the lament psalms and discover what and how to pray through every season.
N. Mark Vroegop categorizes the requests in the lament psalms down to 9 kinds of requests.
1. These 9 categories of requests can serve as a model of the kinds of bold requests we can bring to the Lord.
2. Let’s do a quick survey of them.
O. A first kind of request is: “Arise, O Lord!”
1. Psalm 10:12 says: Rise up, Lord God! Lift up your hand. Do not forget the oppressed.
2. This is a simple request for divine intervention.
3. With this request we are asking, “Lord, please do something!” for we know that if God is moved to act, then something will change.
P. A similar, second kind of request is: “Grant us help.”
1. Psalm 60:11-12 says: 11 Give us aid against the foe, for human help is worthless. 12 With God we will perform valiantly; he will trample our foes.
2. Suffering of any kind confronts our self-sufficiency.
3. In reality, we are always dependent on God’s help, but pain makes that gap real
4. The lament psalms are filled with cries for deliverance, rescue, and strength.
5. I am reminded of Peter’s request to Jesus when he began to sink as he tried to walk on the water: “Lord, save me!” (Mt. 14:30).
6. By asking God for help, we are not only calling upon the resources of an all-powerful God, we are also reminding ourselves that God can be trusted.
Q. A third kind of request we see in the lament psalms is: “Remember your covenant.”
1. Psalm 25:6 says: Remember, Lord, your compassion, and your faithful love, for they have existed from antiquity (CSB).
2. ESV translates the same verse this way: Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old.
3. When we or the Bible calls upon God to remember, it’s not that God has forgotten, rather it’s a way of asking God to be true to the promises He has made.
4. This request connects our present struggle to God’s historic faithfulness.
5. It communicates to God that we are trusting in His Word and promises.
R. A fourth kind of request is: “Let justice be done.”
1. Psalm 82:3 says: Provide justice for the needy and the fatherless; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.
2. Some laments are what theologians call the “imprecatory” psalms because they express a longing for the punishment of the wicked.
3. When we face injustice, and when God’s glory – not just our pain – is involved, it is appropriate to ask for justice to be done.
4. Lament gives us language for talking to God about unfairness, abuse and mistreatment.
5. We can boldly call upon God to act for the sake of justice.
S. A fifth kind of request is: “Vindicate me.”
1. This request is similar to the last request for justice, but it is more personal.
2. We may ask for justice in general or for others, but this request for vindication is a most personal request that asks for God to defend us.
3. If you have ever been falsely accused, misunderstood, or unfairly treated, then you know the desperate desire to have the record set straight.
4. Rather than allowing bitterness to lead us to seek revenge, the lament allows us to ask God for the vindication we desire and even rightly deserve.
5. Psalm 35:23-24 is a good example: 23 Wake up and rise to my defense, to my cause, my God and my Lord! 24 Vindicate me, Lord my God, in keeping with your righteousness, and do not let them rejoice over me.
6. This kind of request can become a balm for our souls as we keep entrusting ourselves to the Lord who judges justly.
T. A sixth kind of request is: “Don’t remember my sins.”
1. Sometimes the situation behind our lament is directly connected to our sins.
a. For example, David’s brazen sins of adultery and murder prompted Psalm 51 to be written.
b. Psalm 51:1-2 says: 1 Be gracious to me, God, according to your faithful love; according to your abundant compassion, blot out my rebellion. 2 Completely wash away my guilt and cleanse me from my sin.
2. The request that God not remember our sins simply asks that God would not treat us as our sins deserve – it appeals for God’s mercy and grace.
3. We all desperately need God’s mercy and grace!
4. How good is it to know that we can still ask for God’s mercy, even when our sin is the cause of our lament.
U. A seventh kind of request is: “Restore us!”
1. Psalm 80 says almost the same thing three times (vs. 3, 7, 19): Restore us, God; make your face shine on us, so that we may be saved.
2. We know that someday God will restore all things in the new heaven and the new earth, but meanwhile, we need the restoration of many things here and now.
3. It could be the restoration of our souls, our marriages, our families, our church or our nation.
4. This request asks God to bring spiritual healing at any level and in any area.
V. An eight kind of request is: “Listen to me and don’t be silent.”
1. Psalm 86:6 says: Lord, hear my prayer; listen to my cries for mercy.
2. Psalm 28:1-2 says: 1 Lord, I call to you; my rock, do not be deaf to me. If you remain silent to me, I will be like those going down to the Pit. 2 Listen to the sound of my pleading when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your holy sanctuary.
3. Perhaps you have felt the deafening silence of heaven in the past, if so, then please know that it is okay to talk with God about that and request that God hear and respond.
4. As we wait for God’s response, we must not stop asking, we must keep pouring out our requests to the Lord.
W. Finally, a ninth and significant kind of request is: “Teach me.”
1. Pain has a way of getting our attention, right?
2. Suffering can be a wake-up call, a unique opportunity for learning and spiritual growth.
3. Many lament psalms include asking God to teach us:
a. Psalm 143:10 says: Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.
b. Psalm 90:12 says: Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.
c. Psalm 86:11 says: Teach me your way, Lord, and I will live by your truth.
4. When we don’t ask God to teach us what He wants us to learn in our times of loss and suffering, we are wasting our trials, and perhaps even prolonging them.
X. I hope this brief survey of the kinds of requests we can make in lament will be a helpful guide as we learn to pray lament prayers.
1. Lament invites us to ask boldly.
2. We are given permission to lay out our pain and to call on God to intervene.
3. The wide variety of requests in the lament psalms help us to see that no matter what the pain or how long the struggle, we need to keep asking.
4. We must not allow the pain or struggle we are in to halt our journey and get stuck in complaint.
5. We need to move forward and boldly ask God to act.
6. We can ask God for the grace, mercy, relief, justice and provision we need.
Y. Allow me to end with this story.
1. I really like the musical Fiddler on the Roof – I actually played a part in the musical in college.
2. This musical contains the well-known songs “If I were a Rich Man” and “Sunrise, Sunset.”
3. Set in a Jewish settlement in Imperial Russia about 1905, the musical is the story of a Jewish man named Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to maintain his Jewish religious and cultural traditions as outside influences encroach upon his family’s lives.
4. One of my favorite things about the musical is the way Tevye so naturally and boldly talks with God throughout the everyday activities of his life – he is a good model for our prayer life.
5. I like a story told by Robert Merrill who played the part of Tevye in summer stock one season, and how he learned to expect the unexpected.
a. Merrill says, “One night on stage, as I implored God to give me a replacement for my horse, which had lost a shoe, suddenly, a small, spotted dog walked onto the stage.”
b. Not missing a beat, Merrill, while playing Tevye, looked up to heaven and fervently added, “Oh, God, please try again!”
6. Let’s keep turning to God, let’s keep laying out our complaints, and let’s keep asking God to act.
7. And if God is silent, or sends us something different than we need, like Tevye, we might say, “Oh, God, please try again!”
8. One thing we must never do, is to stop turning to God and stop bringing our requests to God.
9. But as we humbly and boldly bring our complaints and requests to God, like Jesus we must acknowledge, “Not my will, but Your will be done.”
10. Have thine own way, Lord, have thine own way…
Resources:
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop, Crossway, 2019.
