A. One soldier in the British Airborne was going through his parachute training.
1. This included eight jumps. Two from a balloon at 800 feet with a cage suspended below it, and six from an airplane.
2. While standing at the door of the balloon cage for his first jump, he heard another recruit ask the instructor, “If the parachute doesn’t open, how long will it take me to hit the ground from 800 feet?”
3. The instructor calmly remarked, “You’ll be about halfway through The Lord’s Prayer.”
4. Now, I’m sure that recruit would be praying whether his chute opened or not! Don’t you think?
B. One day a group of amateur climbers was scaling part of the Matterhorn mountain in Switzerland.
1. As they came to a narrow, hazardous passage way, a gust of wind swept down on them.
2. The experienced guide, knowing the danger this posed for the group, quickly shouted, “Get down on your knees! You are only safe on your knees!”
3. The group immediately dropped to their knees.
4. How true this is for the Christian as well, right? We are only safe on our knees.
5. In other words, to experience true life and spiritual safely we must always keep turning to God in prayer.
C. This is the main point that we want to explore today as we continue our new series “Good Grief: Expressing Grief, Finding Grace.”
1. Last week we talked about the reality of grief and suffering in our lives, and how we need to learn to lament in order to move through grief in a healthy and helpful way.
2. As we learn how to navigate grief and loss, and how to help other people do so, we always need to keep in mind that things like patience, kindness and grace needs to be practiced by all people involved; including the givers and the receivers of support.
D. Mark Vroegop begins the next chapter of his book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy with this question: “Who taught you to cry?”
1. The answer, of course, is “no one.”
2. Although none of us remember it, the first sound that any of us made when we came into this world was a heartfelt protest.
3. All of our lives began in a similar fashion – we all let out a loud cry.
4. To cry is to be a human and it comes naturally.
E. But lament is different - the practice of lament – the kind that is biblical, honest, and restorative – is not as naturally for us.
2. To lament is to pray – it is a statement of faith.
3. Mark Vroegop says that “lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness.
4. Actually, it is our belief in God’s mercy, goodness and sovereignty that creates the need for lament.
5. Without hope in God’s goodness and promises and the conviction that God is all-powerful, there would be no reason to lament when suffering invades our lives.
6. Todd Billings, in his book, Rejoicing in Lament, says: “It is precisely out of trust that God is sovereign that the psalmist repeatedly brings laments and petitions to the Lord…If the psalmists had already decided the verdict – that God is indeed unfaithful – they would not continue to offer their complaint.”
7. We, Christians, believe that the world is broken, but that God is powerful, and that God will be faithful.
8. Therefore, we lament, and our laments stand in the gap between pain and promise.
F. Mark Vroegop tells about a prayer summit that he was leading for the staff of his church.
1. Mark placed an empty chair in the middle of the circle of their chairs.
2. While they were singing, praying and spontaneously reading Scripture, he invited people to make their way to the middle chair and share their prayer of lament to the Lord.
3. They had been studying the subject of lament, and he had encouraged them to write their own prayer of lament, and it was time to put this minor-key song into personal practice.
4. Mark also knew that there was a lot of pain in the room.
5. After a few minutes of awkward silence, a brave young woman nervously moved to the middle chair, clutching the small card she had written on and she sighed.
a. Painful emotions were just under the surface.
b. Her husband, who was on their church staff, quickly joined her and knelt beside her.
c. Others soon followed, surrounding her and gently placing hands on her to show support.
d. With a trembling voice she read her lament: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you withhold the blessing of a child from us? How long will we cry to you – how many more days, months, or years will pass with our arms remaining empty? How much longer will we struggle to rejoice with those who rejoice while we sit weeping? But I have trusted in your steadfast love. My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me! Thank you, Father!”
6. If you remember Psalm 13 from last week, you will see how she used a similar outline.
a. In one short prayer, she vocalized her deep sorrow while simultaneously reaffirming her trust in God.
b. She sobbed, she lamented, and she trusted.
7. Everyone returned to their chairs and a moment later a staff member made his way to the center chair.
a. He lamented: “Here I am again, Lord! I don’t like this chair, but I know I need to come. My wife and I long for another baby to adopt, and we are so tired of waiting and the emotional roller coaster. But we are trusting.”
8. By the end of the prayer summit, four couples mourned empty cribs.
a. Lament provided a language that anchored those grieving couples to what they knew to be true about God while they waited.
9. As I said last week, every person, and every Christian is going to experience some kind of suffering, loss or hardship in life, and therefore, we must learn to express our grief in a way that helps us find God’s grace.
G. Before we go too much farther, let’s take a minute to define what we mean by lament.
1. Mark Vroegop says: “Lament can be defined as a loud cry, a howl, or a passionate expression of grief.”
2. Vroegop is quick to point out that in the Bible lament is more than sorrow or talking about sadness – it is more than walking through the stages of grief.
3. Lament is expressing pain in prayer in a way that leads to trust in God.
4. Throughout the Scriptures, we see that lament gives voice to the strong emotions that believers feel because of their suffering.
5. Lament typically asks at least two questions: first, “Where are you God?” and second, “If you love me, why is this happening?”
6. Sometimes these questions are asked by individuals and at other times they are asked by entire communities or nations.
H. We might be inclined to think that lament is the opposite of praise, but it isn’t.
1. Lament is a path to praise as we are led through our brokenness and disappointment.
2. We might think of lament as the transition from pain to promise – the path from heartbreak to hope.
3. Most biblical laments follow a pattern that includes four key elements:
a. First, there is an address to God – a turning to God in prayer.
b. Second, there is a complaint.
c. Third, there is a request.
d. Fourth and finally, there is an expression of trust and/or praise.
4. Mark Vroegop employs four simple words to summarize the four parts of lament: (1) turn, (2) complain, (3) ask, and (4) trust.
5. Each step of the lament is a part of the pathway toward hope.
a. In the address, our hearts are turned toward God in prayer.
b. In the complaint, we clearly and bluntly lay out the reasons for our sorrow.
c. The next logical step is to request God’s help – we ask God to do something to act on our behalf.
d. Then finally, we express a renewed trust in God and express our praise for God.
I. We learn biblical lament from the book of Psalms.
1. The Psalms were and are the songbook of God’s covenant community.
2. The Psalms contain the gamut of life’s experiences, including the joys and sorrows of life, and the struggles and triumphs of life.
3. Believe it or not, of the 150 psalms in our Bibles, at least a third of them are laments – which makes laments the largest category in the entire Psalter.
4. Why do you think it is that our contemporary Christian songbooks contain so few laments compared to the Psalms?
5. Could it be that our modern prosperity, comfort, and love of triumphalism and our misunderstandings of Christian suffering have impacted the songs we write and sing?
6. Compare that to the themes and tone of the songs we have traditionally called “Negro Spirituals” that were written and sung by people experiencing great suffering and injustice.
7. So, don’t get me wrong, there is certainly a time and a place for upbeat and joyful and victorious songs, but there are also times for the minor-key songs of lament.
8. Laments are in the Bible for a reason, and we need them.
J. With all this in mind, let’s turn to Psalm 77, because it is a good example of lament and it is one that focuses on the initial turning to God that is involved in our laments.
1. To learn how to benefit from lament, we must resolve to continue to talk with God – to keep turning to God in prayer.
2. I know that this sounds pretty basic and should be a given, but it is where we have to start and it is something that we sometimes resist.
3. So, as we have been learning, lament begins with an invitation to turn to God while in pain.
K. Psalm 77 begins: 1 I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. 2 I sought the Lord in my day of trouble. My hands were continually lifted up all night long; I refused to be comforted (Ps. 77:1-2).
1. The opening words of this lament frame the tone: “I cry aloud to God.”
a. The psalmist is in pain, and yet he is not silent.
b. However, we note that the Psalmist isn’t just talking or complaining, rather he’s crying out.
2. Other references to prayer can be seen in the first two verses.
a. Verse one ends with the knowledge that God will hear the psalmist.
b. In verse two the psalmist mentions when he will seek God – in the day of trouble.
c. Also in verse two this seeking of God takes place all night long – and the hands being lifted up to God is a reference to the posture of prayer.
3. Clearly the psalmist is reaching out to God in the midst of his pain.
a. But we must not overlook this point or take it for granted.
b. This is not what everyone does in the midst of their pain – many turn away from God in their pain – they refuse to talk with God, rather than turn to God.
c. It takes faith to pray a lament – to pray in pain.
d. It is an act of faith to open our hearts to God, even if what we approach God with is tough questions and a messy spiritual struggle.
4. Prayerful lament with its inherent messiness is way better than silence.
a. But many people are afraid to approach God in the messiness of lament.
b. They find that speaking that honestly and openly with God is far too risky.
5. But I submit to you that staying silent and not approaching God at all is far worse and more risky than approaching God in honest lament.
a. Giving God the silent treatment is the ultimate manifestation of unbelief.
b. To stew in silent despair is to reach a place of hopeless resignation that God doesn’t care, that God doesn’t hear, and that God won’t do anything to help.
c. Obviously people who get to that point stop praying – they give up.
d. Silence can be a soul killer!
L. Someone might counter with, “I don’t want to be silent before God, but I just don’t know what to say or how to say it.”
1. And this is the beautiful thing about learning the song of lament – it guides us toward God and helps us know what to say and how to say it.
2. Lament directs our emotions by prayerfully vocalizing our hurt, our questions, and our doubts.
M. As good and wonderful and helpful as learning to lament is, we must realize that it isn’t a quick fix.
1. Praying in the midst of pain isn’t a guarantee that the emotional struggle will immediately lift.
2. The psalmist’s description of his ongoing tension in Psalm 77 is clear: 2 I sought the Lord in my day of trouble. My hands were continually lifted up all night long; I refused to be comforted. 3 I think of God; I groan; I meditate; my spirit becomes weak. 4 You have kept me from closing my eyes; I am troubled and cannot speak (Ps. 77:2-4).
3. So you see the psalmist is praying, but it’s not bringing immediate comfort or resolution.
a. His prayers seem like they are “not working,” but he keeps on praying.
4. This is an important lesson that we must hold on to – lament doesn’t always lead to an immediate solution or resolution.
a. It doesn’t always bring a quick or timely answer.
b. Nevertheless, lament is the song we sing, believing that one day God will answer, and give relief and restoration.
N. Lament gives us a way to pray through our struggle with a life that is far from ideal or perfect.
1. Painful and difficult circumstances can surface big and troubling questions.
2. The psalmist struggles with why God isn’t doing more.
3. Let’s notice how the psalmist is thinking and reflecting on all this as the Psalm continues: 5 I consider days of old, years long past. 6 At night I remember my music; I meditate in my heart, and my spirit ponders (Ps. 77:5-6).
4. This searching and reflecting results in six pointed rhetorical questions: 7 “Will the Lord reject forever and never again show favor? 8 Has his faithful love ceased forever? Is his promise at an end for all generations? 9 Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” (Ps. 77:7-9)
5. Does the psalmist really believe God isn’t loving, doesn’t keep His promises, and is unfaithful?
a. I don’t think so, and the rest of the psalm will bear this out.
6. What we can learn from this process is that honestly praying this way helps us recognize that pain and suffering often create difficult emotions and questions that are not based on truth, but they feel true, nonetheless.
a. Lord willing, we will explore this more next week when we will look more closely at the complaint portion of lament.
O. For now, and the thing I am hoping we learn today is that lament begins with humbly turning to God in pain.
1. Anyone can cry, but it takes faith to turn to God and cry out to Him in lament.
2. Lament is a prayer that leads us through personal sorrow and difficult questions into the truths about God that anchors our souls.
3. Look at where the psalmist goes next in verses 10-12: 10 So I say, “I am grieved that the right hand of the Most High has changed.” 11 I will remember the Lord’s works; yes, I will remember your ancient wonders. 12 I will reflect on all you have done and meditate on your actions (Ps. 77:10-12).
a. The CSB has a footnote on verse 10 that says it is obscure and hard to translate.
b. The ESV translates verse 10 as: Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.
c. But the ESV footnote has an alternate translation that is more like the CSB.
4. The psalmist may be saying that he feels like God has changed in some way, but nevertheless, he turns his focus back to God’s actions of the past.
a. He wants to remind himself of what he knows to be true about God’s past faithful acts of deliverance.
P. But then, even more important than focusing on the history of God’s actions, the psalmist in verse 13 shifts his focus to the very character of God: God, your way is holy. What god is great like God?
1. Notice how different this rhetorical question is from the previous six questions.
2. This is an important turning point as lament moves us from honest questions to confident trust.
3. This is the important role that lament can play in our lives.
4. As I said earlier, lament is only possible when we believe that God is truly good, but our belief in God’s goodness, love and sovereignty create a tension when we face painful circumstances.
5. And lament is how we learn to live between the opposing poles of a hard life and God’s goodness.
Q. Psalm 77 ends with the psalmist anchoring his questions in the single greatest redemption event in the life of Israel – their Exodus from Egypt.
1. The psalmist remembers this defining moment when God demonstrated His faithfulness and love.
2. In verse 15, the psalmist says that “with power you redeemed your people,” then in verse 16, “the water saw you, God. The water saw you; It trembled,” and finally in verses 19 and 20: Your way went through the sea and your path through the vast water, but your footprints were unseen. You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron (Ps. 77:19-20).
3. And for Christians, our exodus event – the place where we find our ultimate deliverance – is the cross of Christ.
4. The cross is where all our questions – our heartaches and pain – should be taken.
5. The cross demonstrates to us that God has already proven Himself to be for us and not against us.
6. The process of lament takes us through our pain, and our questions, and leads us right to God’s answers found in the cross of Christ.
R. But in order for that to happen, we have to keep turning to God in prayer.
1. Treating God with the silent treatment is not helpful, and it will cripple us spiritually.
2. Certainly our pain, frustration and discouragement might tempt us to stop talking to God, but we must not let it.
3. Whatever we do, we must not stop talking to God – we must keep wrestling, keep struggling and keep praying.
4. D. L. Moody said, “Some people think God does not like to be troubled with our constant coming and asking. The only way to trouble God is not to come at all.”
5. So we must keep turning to God, remembering that the safest place for us to be is on our knees.
6. And remembering that someone has said, “The quickest way to get back on our feet is get down on our knees.” (Vern McLellan)
7. Let’s keep turning to God in prayer.
Resources:
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop, Crossway, 2019.
Todd Billings, Rejoicing in Lament: Wrestling with Incurable Cancer and Life in Christ, Brazos, 2015.
