Title: The Measure of a Mature Christian Man Script: I Tim. 3:1-7
Type: Expository Where: GNBC Father’s Day 2020
Intro: What is your ideal of a “man”? (Pictures: John Wayne, Dwayne Johnson, Carey Grant, Boy George?) Dr. Gene Getz wrote a book called “The Measure of a Man” about 40 years ago. In it he outlines various attributes that should be evident and growing in the life of every maturing Christian man. In fact, he told the story of speaking at a conference once in Gary, IN. There were several steel mill executives who were attending the conference as brand new Christians. When Getz began teaching on the list from I Tim. 3, two of the execs in the front row became more and more animated and excited. They didn’t know that this type of information was in their Bible. They were surprised because the list closely matched the lists they had developed for individuals they would seek to hire for management positions at their mill! Well, what they stumbled upon Paul was given by Divine inspiration.
Prop: Exam. I Tim. 3 we’ll notice five characteristics that measure the maturity of every Christian man.
BG: 1. This passage specifically deals with those in church leadership called “elders”.
2. Not all Christian men are elders in a local church. However, all men are supposed to be growing up to a knowledge and maturity in Christ.
3. In this passage there are 14 measurable characteristics. I am going to examine 1st 5 today.
Prop: Noticing I Tim. 3 let’s examine 5 characteristics that help measure the maturity of every Christian man.
I. 1st Characteristic: Be “Above Reproach”.
A. The spiritually maturing man seeks to serve the Lord’s Church.
1. Notice how Paul begins this entire section: “if any man aspires to the office of an overseer”.
a. Paul says, “If someone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a good work.” The word “aspires” means “‘to reach out after,’ or ‘to stretch out oneself to grasp something.’ The term does not speak of internal motives, but only describes the external act.” “Desires” means “a passionate compulsion.” Together these two words describe somebody who pursues the ministry because of an inner compulsion. First Peter 5:2 describes elders as people who should serve “eagerly.” It is not so much a drive to be a pastor or elder, it’s a drive to serve—they desire a “good work.” Eldership is work. Illust: Elders at GNBC serve the body…administratively, teaching, praying, working, visiting.
b. Strong churches have spiritual men in positions of leadership in the church. All too many churches are or become bastions of spiritual feminism because lazy, carnal, and unspiritual men shirk their God-ordained duty to spiritually lead their homes and their churches. When that happens the “Eve Syndrome” (Gen. 3:16) kicks into effect, and the woman attempts to usurp the man’s God ordained and designed role grasping at his authority in an attempt to “rule over him”. In marriage the husband is to lead, love, and safeguard his wife and the wife is to respect and be submissive to her husband in all things lawful. In the church, qualified men alone are to lead as pastors/elders/bishops and preach to and teach the whole congregation. The image of God is expressed most fully and beautifully in human society when men and women walk in obedience to their God-ordained roles and serve according to their God-given gifts.” (From The Dallas Statement, section XI)
2. Spiritually maturing men not only go to church they aspire to serving the church.
B. The Spiritually maturing man seeks to be “Above Reproach”.
1. What does this mean?
a. Illust: Literally, to be “above reproach” means to “have nothing on which one could seize”, Today, we might say “no skeletons in the closet”. Nothing which an adversary could crab onto by which another could make a charge or accusation.
b. Illust: 10-15 yrs ago a series of fictional books skyrocketed onto the American Evangelical scene. Wildly best selling books fictional account of end times. Many people came to faith as a result. However, two main authors began to bicker and fight. Sued each other. Then reports of one author began to be heard of luxurious living, gambling debts, and improper money use, and ungodly treatment of other brothers and sisters.
2. Why are maturing Christian men called to “live above reproach”? In the old days, preachers called on those who brought “shame and reproach upon the church” to repent. Though it may sound old-fashioned, Christians men (And women!) must still be keenly aware of what we say and do. The writer of Hebrews wrote about those who fall away and thus “…crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame (Hebrews 6:6). The ESV seems to capture the intent of the last phrase quite well in translating it, “…holding him up to contempt.” We must face it, our actions either bring glory to or reflect negatively upon our Lord and His body—the church. Maturing Christian men will do everything possible to avoid reproach. What are you and I doing, men, to live “above reproach”.
C. Applic: Christian man: Is there anything you are involved in right now that could bring reproach upon the Name and cause of Christ? Quit!
II. 2nd Characteristic: Be “The Husband of One Wife”.
A. The Next Characteristic of a Godly, Maturing Christian Man is that he is to be the “Husband of One Wife”
1. This is an important test because it demonstrates the first characteristic (Being above reproach.) in the primary relationship of one’s life.
a. Now, specifically in this passage, we see that this is a qualification for being an elder in the church. There have been many interpretations of this throughout the centuries: Not divorced is most common among conservative churches today. Some think it means elders must be married; however, this would disqualify Paul (Either never married or widowed.), Timothy, and Jesus. Others believe this forbids the practice of polygamy, which was an in some areas still is a serious problem in the church. Others believed it forbade the ability to remarry after the death of an elder’s spouse.
b. Many have been the Christian leaders brought down by sexual promiscuity. Samson succumbed to sexual sin, and so did David and Solomon. Many in our own era. In ministry, it is important to enlist those who are blameless in their relations with the opposite sex. Proverbs 7:25ff “Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways—do not wander into her pathways; for she has brought down many fatally wounded, and all those she has slain are many. Her house is the way to the grave, going down to the chambers of death.”
2. What does this specifically mean?
a. “Husband of one wife” - It literally can be translated “a one-woman man.” It means, if he is married, he is faithful to his wife. If he’s single, he doesn’t flirt with women. He is not a ladies’ man. David Guzik said, “This means that the Biblical leader is not a playboy, an adulterer, a flirt, and does not show romantic or sexual interest in other women. No doubt why Paul lists this is that we are very prone to failure in this area. Maturing Christian men will be called to minister in stressful situations. May be needed to help where is emotional vulnerability…best defense against falling is to be passionately in love with your spouse. A man not walking in victory in this area will be prone to fall. The failure to be a one-woman man has probably put more men out of ministry than any other sin. It is, therefore, a very important concern.
b. Christian men, we need to be very exciting around our own wives and very boring around everyone else’s! Illust: Years ago, in fact we weren’t married yet. Carol’s little sister, Sara, asked her a question in her very direct manner: “Carol, what do you think of Chris’ sense of humor?” Carol: “I like it.” Sara: “I think he’s weird.” Carol: “He loves me, Sara, not you.”
B. What must I do if I am going to Model Maturity in this characteristic?
1. Set boundaries and practice discipline.
a. Illust: You may disagree with his politics, that is your choice. However, by all accounts, VP Mike Pence clearly cherishes his vow to be “a one woman man”. Remember 4yrs ago as the press had a field day with this man they referred to as a “prude” and whatever other name, because he would NEVER meet alone with any woman other than his own wife? The VP was called a sexist, a pig, a prude. Womanaphobic (Made that one up!). Needed to come into the 19th, let alone the 21st century. And then came the tidal wave of what became known as the “Me too” movement.
b. What are the boundaries and restraints you have set with members of the opposite sex? If you ever wish to be used by God, you need to take this area very seriously. Must set boundaries BEFORE or never will during.
2. How can I apply this in my own life today? How can I demonstrate being a “one woman man”?
a. Are you married? Be a one woman man. The longer Carol and I have been married, the more I see that people in our culture want to see successful, long term relationships. Illust: Non-Christian young people (waiters and waitresses) have commented and gotten misty eyed when told them we have been married 30 years. They realize for most part that commitment is missing in society.
b. Are you divorced and now remarried? I want to speak very sensitively here. Use your past failure but don’t be held captive by your past failure. Can you grow and mature in Christ even if you were divorced? Absolutely! Never make light of your experience. Take full ownership. However, I know many Christian men or women who came to Christ after a divorce, or they had an unbelieving spouse who left them. Maybe they were the guilty party and now they are repentant. Doesn’t matter. If you are married now, model love and affection and spiritual leadership.
c. Are you dating, or are you single? – You don’t get off the hook either. That individual you’re dating may very well become your wife. She may become another man’s wife. Treat her with respect. She is your sister in Christ. She’s not simply the object or means by which you can express your lust. Hey, put down the porn. You are violating your future spouse.
C. Applic: Again, this is not just for elders/for all. Where a spiritually immature person might be known for being flirty and unwise with the opposite sex, the mature believer knows the dangers in this area. If they are dating/courting, they are focused on that person and establish wise boundaries to protect from stumbling. If they are married, their eyes are only on their spouse and they try to maintain appropriate boundaries with members of the opposite sex. When God looks for a person to use for his ministry, he finds someone who is wise in their relations with the opposite sex.
III. 3rd Characteristic: Be “Temperate”.
A. The Next Characteristic that Measures the Maturity of a Christian Man is: “Temperate”
1. What does Paul mean when he calls for Maturing Christian Men to be Temperate? Illust: What do you think of when you hear the term, “temperate”? I think of climates. According to the Koppen Climate Classification System: “Temperate climates are those without extremes of temperature and precipitation (rain and snow). The changes between summer and winter are generally invigorating without being frustratingly extreme.
2. Illust: Now, I know a lot of young men are thinking right about now, “Yeah, right, I want to be a revolutionary. I want to make changes. I am passionate. I don’t want to act like I am old and middle class.” Well, let me challenge you to be extreme for Jesus Christ! Do you really want to make a difference in life? Tell others about Jesus Christ! Most counter culture thing you can do. Do you want to be revolutionary? Use your job/calling/family as a platform to advance the cause of Christ!
B. The Measure of a Maturing Christian Man is that he guards against Excess in his life.
1. What does Paul mean when he challenges Christian men to be “temperate”?
a. “Temperate” literally means “wineless” or “unmixed with wine.”11 Metaphorically, it means to be “‘alert,’ ‘watchful,’ ‘vigilant,’ or ‘clearheaded.’ That may be its primary sense in this passage. Paul is saying that a Christian leader must be one who thinks clearly. He must possess the inner strength to refrain from any excess that would dull his alertness.” (From research by Greg Brown on Bible.org)
b. A mature Christian man is able to process all of the junk that is going on in our society today in our culture, our media, our politics, and is able to think clearly, BIBLICALLY about these things. Maturing Christian men go take SCL Classes, they get involved in Bible studies, they read books on world views, they have daily quiet times.
2. The Measure of a Maturing Christian Man is that he guards against anything that can lead to excess in his life.
a. Illust: It was the Rev. John Wesley who knew that “moderation in all things” was a cardinal virtue. Excess in any area can affect our spiritual discernment. We must be wise and careful about our eating and drinking, our sleep, our entertainment, our exercise, and our relationships our hobbies. Men are very quickly given to unhealthy obsessions.
b. Christian man, are you allowing ANYTHING to become excess in your life? When we do, we make that item an idol in our lives. Food? Porn? Sports? Pop Culture? Video Games? Politics? Retirement portfolio? Work? Seek your real value in Jesus Christ. We must be clearheaded in order to discern God’s will for our lives and others. Are you temperate—practicing self-restraint?
C. Applic: Xstian man: Is there anything in your life right now that is diluting your relationship to Christ?
IV. 4th Characteristic: Be “Prudent”.
A. The Fourth Characteristic that Should be a trait in Every Christian Man seeking to Mature is being/becoming “prudent”.
1. What is the meaning of prudence?
a. Your translation may in fact translate this word as “self controlled” or “sober minded”. Self-controlled” can be translated “sober-mindedness.” Warren Wiersbe described the elder’s sober-mindedness this way: He must have a serious attitude and be in earnest about his work. This does not mean he has no sense of humor, or that he is always solemn and somber. Rather it suggests that he knows the value of things and does not cheapen the ministry or the Gospel message by foolish behavior.13
b. Illust: Sadly, many pulpits today are being cheapened by the humor or crassness proceeding from them. Peter said that preachers should speak as the oracles of God (1 Peter 4:11)—like their words come directly from him. There is a place for levity, but not when it cheapens or removes the seriousness of God’s message. Illust: Two years ago Christmas, my sister in law went to a Christmas Eve service at their local church. All of her children were home for the holiday and the oldest daughter’s unsaved boyfriend was visiting. Entire family were excited to go to the service. Sang a few traditional Christmas Carols and then the pastor got up to preach and get this…put on a magic show! Seriously. No message. Strange. Bizarre. Not very prudent. Missed one of the best opportunities churches have when visitors come.
B. Are you Prudent about Christ in the place where you are today?
1. Sober-minded believers are serious about God and faith. For many, their faith is not a priority. They are serious about many other endeavors but faith is not one of them. Being sober-minded is another characteristic of the spiritually mature. To the sober-minded believer, faith is the most important aspect of their life. It affects everything they do—they are serious about it.
2. Paul calls Timothy and, indeed, every Christian to sober-mindedness. A drunk or addict is inconsistent in his thoughts, words, and deeds. The sober-minded can focus. The apostle’s metaphor is not a warning against alcohol but a call for leaders not to become fuzzy-headed in their thinking, just like a person might be when drunk. A sober person is alert to the dangers of the world, the flesh, and the Devil, and he is not easily distracted by the issues that can get his ministry off track (1 Thess. 5:6; 1 Peter 5:8).
C. Applic: We are living in very trying times. Need wisdom and insight. Are you sober-minded—serious about God and the things of God?
V. 5th Characteristic: Be “Respectable”.
A. The Fifth Characteristic Paul gives to Measure a Maturing Christian man is: Respectable.
1. Paul says that Christian leaders need to be respectable.
a. “Respectable” can also be translated “orderly.”14 It is the opposite of chaotic. A spiritual leader must have an orderly, well-disciplined life. Commentator Homer Kent said this: “‘The ministry is no place for the man whose life is a continual confusion of unaccomplished plans and unorganized activities.’”
b. Never be a leader if waste time. Undisciplined.
2. Another way to interpret this verse term is: “honorable”.
a. In II Tim. 2:20-21 we read: ““If anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work” (v. 21). In Roman homes at that time there were vessels, cups, jars, etc. that were used for common purposes and others for special occasion. Illust: I know it is out of vogue in our culture today, but Carol inherited grandparents’ China Cabinet and China. At Thanksgiving and Christmas, Seder, Easter, and on other special occasions we carefully get it out. Growing up the kids knew this was special event.
b. John MacArthur notes, “Even a common wood bucket or clay pot becomes useful when purged and made holy” (The MacArthur Bible Commentary, p. 1,809). None of us can claim to be a worthy vessel in ourselves, for God takes us when we are dishonorable sinners and makes us honorable through the work of His Spirit. Still, we have a part to play in sanctification, and we must actively avoid false beliefs and immoral situations that tempt us to disobey our father.
B. How do we Recapture the Importance of Respect in the Maturing Christian Man?
1. “Followers are attracted to people who are better leaders than themselves. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Leaders want to follow those who are better leaders than themselves. According to John Maxwell in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, when a group first comes together, leaders tend to focus on what is natural for them – leading. Eventually, people change direction to follow the strongest leaders. “When people respect you as a person, they admire you. When they respect you as a friend, they love you. When they respect you as a leader, they follow you.”
2. Each of us desires respect. And as maturing Christian men we desire respect from others. How do we develop into men deserving of respect? John Maxwell: 6 Ways to Gain others’ respect: 1. Be naturally talented or gifted. (I.e. good looking, smart, athletic). However, don’t ever rely solely on these talents, need to develop. (Bad example: Saul) 2. “When leaders show respect for others-especially for people who have less power or a lower position than theirs–they gain respect from others.” People desire respect from those around them. If a follower is to be led, they will inherently choose to be led by someone who demonstrates mutual respect. 3. Courage: In moments of difficulty, courage can set a leader apart. Courageous people will gain respect from followers because of their willingness to stand alone on their values, despite the criticism they may receive. 4. Success: “People respect others’ accomplishments. And it’s hard to argue with a good track record.” When we see a good track record, we tend to believe it can be done again. 5. Loyalty: Today’s culture is one of constant change and transition. It’s a “me” culture instead of a “we” culture. When team members commit to following a leader, they want to know that they are following someone who is in it for the long haul and for the benefit of the whole team. 6. Add value to others: Leaders add value to an organization and to their followers by serving those around them. When followers benefit from being associated with a leader, they’ll want to advance alongside him or her. There is no doubt that people desire to win. What better way to win than with a leader you respect?
Applic: There are no short cuts to maturity. It takes years for us to grow to adulthood, and it takes a full season for fruit to mature and ripen. The same is true for the fruit of the Spirit. The development of Christlike character cannot be rushed. Spiritual growth, like physical growth, takes time. When you try to ripen fruit quickly, it loses its flavor. In America, tomatoes are usually picked unripened so they won’t bruise during shipping to the stores. Then, before they are sold, these green tomatoes are sprayed with CO2 gas to turn them red instantly. Gassed... tomatoes look red, but they taste way differently from the ones in my backyard after 3 months of growing. Same is true in the Christian life. Marks of maturity take place over time.
