Title: The Measure of a Maturing Christian Man” Part 2 Scripture: I Tim. 3:1-7
Type: Expository Where: GNBC 6-28-20
Intro: There is a proverb that says that the best way to judge a man is not by the way he treats his equals, but by the way he treats his inferiors. If you treat your servants or employees badly, it is a poor reflection on you; that the true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Indeed we cannot truly assess the size and measure of man, until we are faced by the yawning hole in society which he leaves when he departs. (Mail and Guardian, 7-9-2008). Last week we began examining the various qualities the Apostle Paul wrote that were required of a man wanting to become and elder. Today, we continue to examine those.
Prop: Today we’ll examine 4 more qualities that mark the lives of maturing Christian men.
BG: 1 Again, the passage primarily relates to the qualifications of elders in a church.
2. Applying the passage to cover all growing and maturing Christian men.
3.
Prop: Follow w/me in I Tim. 3:1-7 as examine 4 more characteristics of a maturing Christian man.
I. A maturing Christian Man is Marked By Generosity: “Hospitable”.
A. We need to develop a “Mindset of Ministry Center ” in an Culture that Extolls “Man Cave”.
1. How do you use the Resources God has given you?
a. Do you simply use your resources on yourself or do you also use them on others? Illust: now, I tongue in check refer to the term “man cave” that has become so popular today. If you watch HGTV any home improvement or house hunting program, see a lot of younger men today, saying that just as important as the wife’s kitchen of the kids’ BR or the bathrooms, is the husband’s “man cave”. According to Wikipedia: A man cave is a male retreat[3] or sanctuary[4] in a home or garage. The term "man cave" is a metaphor describing a room where male family members are supposed to be able to do as they please, without fear of upsetting any female sensibility about house decor or design. Now I get it, it’s funny, but can I also say it’s a little selfish. We want our own where we can do what we want w/o anyone telling us any different... hours of sports or video games or movies. Really? Need to check motives.
b. “hospitable” literally means: “to love strangers”/ “a lover of strangers”. A maturing Christian man sees his home as a vital “ministry center” through which he can show hospitality to friends and strangers alike.
2. Bottom line answer for the Maturing Christian man to answer: “Who owns my stuff?” Anyone who practices hospitality realizes that they are simply stewards of the “stuff” God has given them. The concept of stewardship begins with creation. Creation is celebrated not only in Genesis but throughout Scripture, especially in the Psalms, where God’s ownership of the universe is declared: “The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness, the world and those who dwell therein” (Ps. 24:1). God is the author of all things, the Creator of all things, and the owner of all things. Whatever God makes, He owns. What we own, we own as stewards who have been given gifts from God Himself. God has the ultimate ownership of all of our “possessions.”
B. Hospitality is a Characteristic we are to Pursue as we mature in the Christian life.
1. Maturing Christian men are to be hospitable.
a. Again, did you notice the context of this passage? It is specifically addressing the qualifications for being an elder in the church. Paul did not say: “Now we are making a subgroup…elder’s wives. No! He is still addressing elders. We tend to think in Western Culture of “hospitality” being a woman’s thing. However, the command went to men who were wanting to become leaders in the church! Why should this be a qualification for a man pursuing spiritual maturity? I think it is because a hospitable man realizes God’s blessing and is not stingy. When you realize you have been given more than you deserve you are generous in meeting needs.
b. Illust: I want us all to recognize the valuable contribution of our church elders. When I think of hospitality, I think of Jim and Jill S. They regularly host fellowship opportunities for the church. They also specifically built their home with an apartment so as to let visiting missionaries, etc. use it. That is being intentionally hospitable.
2. Before I leave this topic, let’s just clear about something. Men, if all of a sudden you are convicted and want to become more hospitable…let your wife know ahead of time! Work with your wife. Help her prepare the food or set the table or do the dishes or…. Being Biblically mature is NOT saying: “Hello Dear. The Lord spoke to me about our need to be more hospitable. I have invited the O’Shaunnessys and their 8 kids for lunch today!
C. Applic: Christian man, are you attempting to practice hospitality? How do you use your home? What is your mindset: man cave or ministry center?
II. A Maturing Christian Man Challenges His Intellect: “Able to teach.”
A. The Next Characteristic of Maturing Christian Man is that He should be “able to teach”.
1. Maturing Christian men must grow with regard to teaching.
a. “able to teach” – didaktikos – from which we get the idea of didactic learning/teaching. The maturing Christian man should be able to communicate essential Christian truths and doctrines.
I want you to notice something about this characteristic of a maturing Christian man. Out of this entire list of 14-15 items by which we measure maturity, this is the only one that is not directly related to character.
b. When you hear the word “instruction” mentioned in the context of the church, you probably think of the pastor(s) or elder(s) in the church. An elder should be “able to teach” (1 Tim. 3:2). The Bible teaches us that “an elder must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine” (Titus 1:9). Yet, the Bible also teaches that all believers are to teach one another. In Romans 15:14 Paul writes, “I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another.” Paul exhorts the Colossians to “let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” (3:16).
2. Teaching truth in the Congregation is a high calling and honor.
a. Illust: Earlier I used the example of Jim S. as an elder who excels in hospitality. I want to highlight another elder, Jim Mays, as an example of a maturing Christian man who excels at teaching. Not only was Jim a professional educator, you can just tell when you sit in a class with Jim that he LOVES to teach. He exudes the gifts and talents of someone who can master difficult doctrines and concepts and is able to communicate them to individuals in such a way that they too can begin to comprehend. Jim makes learning enjoyable and interesting. That is the test of a true teacher.
b. I want to take a moment to address and correct a matter that we have at Good News. All too often when we have a new SCL quarter, Pastor Richard is scrambling to get new teachers. All too often he asks men and rejected multiple times for every one who accepts. Let me ask you a question: Why is that the case? Possibly you have scheduling issues with work or travel or family issues that preclude for a time. Do you see being asked to teach as a high calling or something to be avoided at all costs? Need to repent of a sinful attitude if you think the latter rather than the former. Willingness and ability to teach is a mark of maturity. It is also an honor in the Church.
B. The Maturing Christian Man must challenge his intellect.
1. As maturing Christian men we need to grow in our thinking.
a. How are you doing in your Spiritual Disciplines men? Are you reading the WOG daily? Reading the WOG daily is the most basic thing we are to do. Every believer is called to “speak the truth with his neighbor” (Eph. 4:25) and to “exhort one another” on a daily basis (Heb. 3:13). This doesn’t mean that everyone is called to hold the office of elder or deacon; God has reserved those offices for men who meet the biblical qualifications (see Acts 6:3; 1 Tim. 2:12; 3:1–13; Titus 1:5–9). But it does mean that—in whatever situation we find ourselves—we are to instruct one another according to the truths of Scripture.
b. The several Greek words that scholars have translated as “instruct” in our English versions of the New Testament can mean “teach,” “admonish,” “counsel,” “prove,” or even “warn.” The principle of “instruction” is rather broad. Even though the context of each specific passage determines the meaning, the idea of “instruction” includes a variety of God-honoring, truth-seeking, and humility-infused words and actions.
2. Maturing Christian men have a responsibility to use/develop this characteristic in their own home.
a. Maturing Christian men, we need to be seen by our children as interested in the things of God. We need to read the Scriptures to our children when they are young and engage at a deeper level intellectually with our children as they mature in teen years and into adulthood.
b. Another area of teaching that all husbands should have is with their own wives. I Cor. 14:34-35) which tells us that if a wife has questions about the Christian faith she should first of all ask her husband in her own home. Why? God has ordained that the husband is to be the spiritual head of the family. When a wife appeals to her husband for explanation, it forces the husband to take seriously his faith. It also develops a deeper relationship between the husband and wife as they discuss important truths of their spiritual lives. Illust: I know what many of you men are thinking: “She is way more advanced then I am.” SO WHAT? Listen, I know your pain! My wife is 3rd generation pastor’s wife. Has a MA from a seminary. Ok. That does not excuse me or let me off the hook.
c. Applic: Dave Barry once said: 'think how much happier women would be if, instead of endlessly fretting about what the males in their lives are thinking, they could relax, secure in the knowledge that the correct answer is: very little.” Are you challenging your mind and intellect to a deeper understanding of God?
III. A Maturing Christian Man is Self-Disciplined: “Not addicted to wine”
A. The Maturing Christian Man will beware of Any Potential Addiction.
1. Examine the warning that Paul gave to those who wish to pursue Christian maturity. “not addicted to wine”. Paul restates this admonition in Eph. 5:18: “Do not be drunk with wine for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Addiction to alcohol or any other substance will undermine your testimony, growth, and ministry. Essentially the Apostle is saying: “Don’t get high on a substance, get high on the Savior!”
2. What is the context of this verse?
a. The question must be asked, is the Bible against the consumption of any alcohol? No. Jesus made and drank wine. Paul encouraged Timothy to “not drink water only but take a little wine” due to his stomach ailments (I Tim. 5:23). The early church used wine in communion during the Lord’s Supper (I Cor. 11:20-21). What you do in the privacy of your own home in moderation is your business between you and God and no one else.
b. Now, let’s consider the context. In ancient times, due to the impurity of water, wine was mixed into water at a ratio of 1 part wine to 8 parts water. Added to purify water. Apparently, Timothy was abstaining from all wine and frequently getting sick. Paul encouraged its use medicinally.
B. Maturing Christian men limit their personal liberty so as not to cause others to stumble.
1. This is an important principle all maturing Christian men should recognize.
a. We are encouraged to limit our liberty so as to not cause a weaker brother to stumble. (Romans 14:13-23; I Cor. 8:9) I Cor. 8:9 says: “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” You are free in Christ and the Law no longer holds power over you. However, do not use that freedom so as to cause another brother to stumble.
b. Illust: Pastor Richard is another great example of an elder in our congregation fulfilling these requirements. If you have heard his testimony, alcohol was a huge problem in his life before Christ. Christ gave victory and sobriety. Probably would not be a problem to him today. However, abstains. Why? What would that communicate to another brother who was presently struggling in that very area if he saw Pastor Richard drinking in public? Could very easily cause that brother to stumble. Do any of us want to be guilty of causing a brother to stumble in his faith over something that is not essential to our existence? No.
2. Maturing Christian men will limit their own liberty so as to not stumble themselves!
a. How do people who have experienced the miracle of the new birth deal with their own sinfulness as they try to live in the full assurance of their salvation? That is, how do we deal with the conflict between the reality of the new birth, on the one hand, and our ongoing sin, on the other hand? How do you balance the danger of losing assurance of salvation and the danger of being presumptuous when might not be? How can we enjoy the assurance of being born again, yet not take lightly the sinfulness of our lives? John 3:7. John says, “Little children, let no one deceive you [so he has the false teachers in view]. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous.” What’s he saying? He is saying beware of the false teachers because what they say is that you can be righteous and not practice righteousness. “Let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous.”
b. Illust: Past 25 years this is one of the areas of biggest change in the evangelical church in America. Flaunting of liberty from MD’s declarations to the ruination of several pastors and church leaders. Illust: One whom I had great respect for his father, and himself. Sharp mind. Brilliant intellect. Was the heir apparent of Ligonier Ministries: RC Sproul Jr. You know why he resigned? Nov. 29, 2016, while driving in Indiana, Sproul was pulled over and charged with OWI. BAC of over .15 (2x Iowa limit). Charged with 2 felonies because was operating that vehicle with two minor children in the car. (The Christian Post, Dec. 16, 2016). RC is not an evil man. I do not think he would have ever intentionally tried to jeopardize his children’s safety. However, drank too much and affected his reasoning. Never know where that line is, especially while drinking. Illust: Some of you have deep rooted alcoholism in family history. Can I tell you the only sure way never to become an alcoholic? Don’t drink.
C. Applic: Our English word addiction comes from a Latin term that means to give oneself over or to surrender. Indeed, addictions are things to which we give ourselves over. Addicts surrender themselves in obedience to some object. Addicts are wooed by the object of their enslavement and surrender in obedience to the commands of their master. But addictions are cruel masters.
IV. A Maturing Christian Man Is marked by Compatibility: “not pugnacious”
A. The Maturing Christian Man attempts to get along with others.
1. Specifically, the Christian man should not be given over to a violent disposition.
a. “Not violent” can be literally translated “not a giver of blows, or “not a striker”. The elder should not be known for physical violence either publicly or privately. He must be a man who trusts God to fight his battles. Romans 12:19 says, “Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
b. Illust: pugnacious – from pugilism – to box. The idea here is not to be quarrelsome. Some people just fight to fight and argue to argue. They are a pain to work with and be around. Never should be allowed into church leadership. Illust: Back in SC had an older man in the church who wanted to be an elder. Loved to serve. Liked to minister. Always in church. Would disagree and argue about everything!
2. We can trust God to fight our battles as a maturing Christian man.
We get a good picture of this in the story of David after losing his kingdom to his son, Absalom. While marching away from the kingdom, he is mocked by a man named Shimei. David’s men became angry and asked to take off his head. However, David responds, “Let him mock! Maybe, God will see his mocking and restore his blessings on me” (2 Samuel 16:9-12, paraphrase). David, though a man of war, was a man who trusted God to fight his battles.
B. What do we need to Apply into our Own lives to Grow as a Mature Christian?
1. This characteristic points to one’s nature & character. Many a man is hampered with the contrary characteristic of being argumentative and quarrelsome. It is a “natural” reaction for them to seek a skirmish with every matter that seems disagreeable. Many of these men are Christians, and deal with this issue their entire Christian lives. However, one who “aspires” to be an overseer must not possess this characteristic. This doesn’t mean can’t be strong and forceful and have strong convictions. But it does mean you are not quarrelsome.
2. Illust: I think of another elder of ours, Barry B.. Barry was in a difficult job entire life and worked with a usually ungrateful audience for a great majority of that time. Barry is a man of strong convictions and personality, yet he is not quarrelsome and is always seeking to unify people. Even when he has to be hard, he makes a point of trying to always “wrap a little velet around the brick.”
C. Applic: Men, what’s your temper like? Are you physically or verbally abusive? Repent of that sin and seek help so you may grow. Don’t excuse sinful behavior.
Conclusion: Society has over the last 30 years sought to change the purpose and plan for man. The sad fact is our society cannot make up it’s mind on what man is and isn’t. Result: we have a lot of frustrated men in our society. These men are angry, some depressed, some bored, some absent in their positions. Our society has tried to tell us that tame, nurture type men are the right kind of man. Stu Weber states, “We know we have lost something. We know we’ve lost our masculine souls. We don’t know all that means, but we do know men are confused, hurting, and angry. It is no wonder that six times more men than women are arrested for drug abuse, 88% of drunk drivers are men, and that 75% of all suicides in the United States are men. An article in Psychology Today summarizes: Buffeted by the women’s movement, constrained by a traditional and internalized definition of masculinity, men literally don’t know who they are…what women want from them, or even what they want from themselves. Well, men, we’ve endured 30 years of dismantling confusion. It’s time to restore our masculinity. It’s time to learn to be godly men again” (From a sermon by Michael McCartney)
