Healthy Disciples: A LIFE OF GRACE—Matthew 7:1-6
***(before you read the text) What quotations from the Bible are you most likely to hear from non-Christians?...There is one in our text today.**
Read Matthew 7:1-6.
“Do not judge…” No one likes to be judged—for their appearance, their taste in clothes, their hair or tattoos. No one likes to be judged for making a mistake in the game, or for their driving.
***The first time I drove a borrowed van with lane change notification, I was annoyed to hear beeping when I strayed over the lane marker. It was like having another side-seat driver. One is enough!**
“Do not judge.” People have latched onto that, even when their behavior is stupid, destructive, or contrary to God’s law. They says, “Don’t judge me,” “Just chill, will you?” or even, “You have no right to tell me what is wrong.”
Unfortunately, the result may be that people are afraid to speak truth that needs to be heard.
It’s easy not to judge if you don’t care! If you don’t care about football, you don’t judge a player who makes a bonehead play. If you don’t care about fashion, you won’t judge people for what they wear.
If you don’t care about people, you will only judge them if they cut you off in traffic, or leave their dog’s poop on your yard.
If you don’t care about what is right, fair, healthy, or good, it is easy not to judge.
Certainly Jesus wasn’t telling his disciple not to care!
Yes, Jesus said, “Do not judge…,” but he didn’t mean what some people think.
We should care about right and wrong, and judge (or discern) between the two. Jesus said in John 7:24, “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment." Righteous judgment is valuable.
We should exercise good judgment about people, to protect us from harm. In John 2:24, we read, “Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people.”
***One of my friends teaches a class on life skills to people who are getting their lives back on track. One of the key sessions talks about 3 groups of people: people who are good for you, people you should avoid at all costs because they are a bad influence, and people such as relatives whom you must handle with caution. Judgment is key to health.**
We should lovingly speak the truth to people we care about. Jesus said in Matthew 18:15, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.”
If those kinds of judgment are necessary and good, what did Jesus mean when he said, “Do not judge”?
We have no right to put ourselves over someone else, as if we were God. In Romans 14:10-13, Paul says, “Why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat…Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.”
Judging with contempt or without love is wrong.
HOW DO WE AVOID UNRIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT?
BE MERCIFUL.
***A woman sits down with a street artist for a portrait. After a few minutes, he shows her the portrait, and she says, “I don’t like it. It doesn’t do me justice.” The artist replies, “Lady, you don’t want justice; you want mercy.”**
We all need mercy! Jesus warns us, (Matthew 7:2) “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
From experience, we know that other people are likely to treat us like we treat them. Yet Jesus is pointing to God’s judgment as well, as in verse 1 he said, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”
The opposite is true in God’s mercy, however. James 2:13 says that although “Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful, [God’s] mercy triumphs over judgment.” Thank God for that!
How can we be merciful?
First, try to understand the other person. You wouldn’t judge a man for not listening, if you discovered that he was deaf. Yet maybe the person with a temper problem has a life history that is just as debilitating. Maybe the person who can’t handle money was never taught, and needs structure. Maybe your wife or husband doesn’t know what you need and want, because it doesn’t make sense to them.
If truth needs to be spoken, do it in a loving way. Think about how it will be heard, not just how you say it.
Hard truth spoke lovingly is usually spoken privately. Jesus said in Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”
Stick to the facts, without confusing facts with judgment. Instead of, “You never look when you change lanes, and one of these days you’re going to kill somebody,” stick to the facts, and say, “I think you just cut off the driver in the next lane, and he doesn’t look happy.”
With people we love, mercy means owning our own reactions, without attacking. “It hurts me when you ignore me,” vs. “You’re so into yourself that you don’t care about me.” Or, “I’d like you to put some things away,” vs. “Don’t you see how messy you are?”
When correction is necessary, be hopeful. With children, say, “What you did was wrong, and I know you can do better.”
Judge with mercy.
BE HUMBLE.
Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Again, Jesus uses hyperbole (obvious exaggeration to get a point across). It is so much easier to focus on other people’s sins, instead of our own.
***“She’s such a gossip. She was telling everybody about the blowup Mary had. Ben told me it was more her fault than Mary’s. I believe it—She blew up at me last week over the smallest thing. Did I tell you about that? Not to gossip, but…**
***It might be easy to see a wife’s excessive spending, on clothes or beauty, while the husband spends extravagantly on electronics or sports.**
It is much more comfortable to focus on sins that don’t tempt us—maybe theft, swearing or abortion—while going easy on sins we personally struggle with, like selfishness or greed.
Jesus tells us to address our own sins before trying to remove the sins of another person. Does that mean we have to be perfect to speak the truth to another person. We could wait forever for that!
If you are parent, you realize that you must sometimes correct your children for things you do as well, or things you did in the past. How do you do that?
***I knew a guy named Dave. When one of his kids would respond to correction by pointing out that he was not perfect either, he would say, “Yes, but you are supposed to be the new and improved model.”**
We can eliminate an attitude of superiority, whether as a parent, a boss, or a fellow Christian.
Paul says in Philippians 3:12-16, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it…Only let us live up to what we have already attained.”
We can work on our own sins and weaknesses. In fact, our most powerful influence is when we can say to a friend or family member, “Let’s work on this problem together.”
When we judge, we must be careful to maintain our humility. Galatians 6:1 says, “If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
Tempted to what? Tempted to gloat over the failure of another? Tempted to think better of ourselves in comparison? (“At least I don’t do that!”) Tempted to sin as we rebuke or correct, using bad language, ridicule, or bad manners?
Jesus sends us in an opposite direction: The speck we see in the eye of another should cause us to examine our own eyes.
Be merciful. Be humble.
BE HELPFUL.
After telling his disciples not to judge, Jesus surprises us with a strange picture : (Matthew 7:6) “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
Some people are not ready for your gems of advice and correction, so don’t try to give it to them! They won’t take it well, and they may tear you to pieces.
It’s so easy to be critical of “those people”: gay people, celebrities, politicians, the super-rich, or the homeless. It’s easy to criticize people we don’t have to face, but what good does that do?
Many people in our culture are hearing the church (rightly or wrongly) as judgmental. We must stand for truth, of course, but in the most helpful way possible. The so-called “culture wars” are not won by passing laws or boycotting non-Christian organizations. Progress is made when Christians demonstrate the beauty of righteousness, whether in sexuality, combatting racism, or advocating for the poor.
We can ask ourselves whether we are speaking the truth because we love people, or because it makes us feel better. If we are honest, we might find that sometimes it is more about us than the truth!
This also applies closer to home. Who is most likely to respond positively to our gems of wisdom? People we know and love. Yet those are the ones we find it hardest to confront! Paul instructed Timothy (2 Timothy 4:2) to “correct, rebuke and encourage” people in the church.
We earn the right to speak to people when our motives are pure and they know we care about them.
So Jesus says, “Do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
The other side of parable is, “Don’t be a pig!” Don’t turn on those who try to correct you in love.
When a friend or spouse sits down with you, beginning with those dreaded words, “I am concerned about…,” don’t be a pig and turn on them.
When a parent says, “I’m not going to let you do that. I don’t think it is good idea,” don’t be a pig and trample on their love for you.
When someone at work gives honest feedback and accountability, don’t be like a pig and launch a counterattack against the messenger.
Maybe you think they judge you too harshly, or maybe they don’t say it quite right. Maybe you think they have a plank in their eye, but be careful: Now you’re the one being judgmental!
Instead of turning on the messenger and trampling on the message, accept any gems of truth.
You might have to say, “I may not agree with everything you are saying, or how you said it, but thanks for caring about me.” They might be risking their pearls; don’t be the pig who tramples on them.
Be merciful. Be humble. Be helpful.
That sounds pretty idealistic, and it is idealistic. Jesus is talking about life in the kingdom of heaven—life according to God’s perfect will. The atmosphere in the kingdom of God is, as Jesus said at the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, characterized by mercy, meekness, purity of heart, and hunger for righteousness. Judgment in that atmosphere is merciful, humble, and helpful.
The kingdom of heaven is present on earth when God’s people bring the kingdom of God into their daily lives.
What is the atmosphere at your house? If it is not what it should be, who is going to initiate change?
What is the atmosphere with your friends, or in the church? What can you do to improve the atmosphere among the people you love?
What is the atmosphere at work, or in our community? Even if you can’t change it as much as you would like, what can you to demonstrate the values of God’s kingdom to those around you?
