MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
(This is a shorter & newer [2020] version of a previous message.)
TEXT: Proverbs 23:25; Ephesians 4:15 & 32
ILL. A man came home from work one afternoon & found his three small children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud. Some of their toys were scattered across the lawn & on the driveway. The door of his wife's car was wide open, & so was the front door of their house.
Surprised at this, he rushed inside & was confronted with evidence of complete disarray. A lamp had been knocked over. The TV was loudly blaring on a cartoon channel, & the family room was littered with toys & children’s clothing.
He went into the kitchen. The sink was filled with dirty dishes, breakfast food had been spilled on the counter, the refrigerator door was open, & dog food was scattered all over the floor.
Very concerned now, & fearing the worst, he frantically looked for his wife, heading up the stairs, stepping over toys & more piles of clothing as he went.
Rushing into their bedroom, he saw her. Still in her pajamas, she lay there curled up on their bed, reading a novel. She looked up, smiled at him, & asked him how his day had been.
Completely bewildered, he looked at her & asked, “What happened here today?” Again she smiled & then answered, “You know, every day when you come home from work you ask me what in the world I do all day long?” “Yes,” he said. She answered, “Well, today I didn't do it.” (Adapted from Sermon Central)
I want to call your attention today to Proverbs 23:25. “May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!"
Today is Mother's Day, & this used to be such an easy Sunday for preachers because we could preach sermons filled with warm, happy illustrations. And everybody wore flowers - red if mother was still alive, & white if she had died.
Almost every church had special programs. And everybody went home feeling good about themselves & about the celebration of Mother's Day.
I. MOTHER'S DAY IS NOT A HAPPY DAY FOR EVERYONE
A. Well maybe not everybody, because for some it is more of a bittersweet celebration. You see, Mother’s Day is not necessarily a happy day for everyone.
ILL. One woman wrote, "Mother's Day is such a wonderful day for so many women. But it will be a sad day for some of us who have tried so very hard to become a mother, but without success.
"To us, having a baby is a dream just out of our reach, & Mother's Day is a day of tears instead of joy."
B. Or maybe your Mother's Day is tinged with sadness because you're a long ways away from your mother, or from your children. And you'll be unable to see each other face to face on this special day.
C. O maybe you're sad because your mother is getting old. You've noticed how fast she is aging. Her eyesight is not as sharp as it used to be. Sometimes she stumbles & falls & you worry about her hurting herself. Her hearing has deteriorated, too.
Many of us have experienced that & the hardest decision came when we realized that we could no longer provide ade¬quate care for our mother or father ourselves, & that we would have to commit their care to someone else.
D. Or maybe Mother's Day is unhappy for you because of broken relationships. You have children & you don't know where they are or what is happen¬ing in their lives, & you say, "I thought we had a good family, but now we're alienated from each other, & I don't know what to do."
ILL. I heard of someone whose parents went into business for themselves when he was a young boy. His grandfather loaned them a substantial sum of money to start the business. Then his grandfather thought that he should have a strong say in how the business was run, but his father didn't feel that way at all.
So they argued, & for many years there was a strained relationship in the family. They didn't go to grandfather's house for Christmas anymore. His father & grandfather wouldn't even speak when they saw each other on the street or in a store.
SUM. You see, over the years we have gone through periods of great stress. And many homes have become battlefields where no one knows what the rules & standards really are because they have been changed so often.
As a result, some are not even sure it is possible to find any real solutions to the problems in our families & homes today.
II. WE CAN FIND THE SOLUTIONS IN GOD'S WORD
But I believe with all my heart that the solutions to these problems can be found in God’s Word.
A. First of all, I think healing can come into our homes & families if we would follow the instructions found in Ephesians 4:15 of "speak¬ing the truth in love."
For instance, we must realize that our parents weren't perfect. Maybe we expected them to be. But they weren't.
We'll also have to admit that our children aren't perfect either. They've made quite a few mistakes along the way, which reminds me of a story I heard several years ago.
ILL. It’s Mother’s Day & a son phones his mother & asks, "Mom, how are you?" "Well, not too good," she replies, "I'm feeling very weak."
Suddenly concerned, her son begins asking her why. "Well,” she explains, “I haven't eaten anything in 23 days."
"That's terrible!" her son says. "Have you been to the doctor to see about it?" "No, I don’t need to. I know the reason why I’m not eating."
"Well, what is it? Why haven't you eaten in 23 days?" he asks. She replies, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be full of food if my son should call."
We all must admit that we're not perfect either. "I wasn't a perfect child & I haven't been a perfect parent. So my children had to live with imperfect parents, too."
If there are hurts, we need to talk about them. We can try to deal with them as a loving family. We can be honest with each other in a spirit of love.
B. Listen to what the apostle Paul says should be part of the life of every Christian, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) So what should we do?
1. First of all, "Be kind" to each other. The truth can hurt, but when it is spoken in kindness, & you don't try to hurt but to help, then healing can begin.
2. Secondly, treat each other with "compassion." "Compassion" means that I care & I seek to understand you, what's going on in your life, where you are coming from. I put on your shoes, & walk in your footsteps for a while.
Revolutionary things can happen in the family if the parents remember what it was like to be a teenager to feel peer pressure to do the things you know you shouldn't do. Then they could better understand the stress & pressures that enter the life of a young person growing up today.
And it would be so helpful if somehow teenagers could understand what it is like to be parents. To have kids that you love more than you love yourself, going through all these temptations, longing to throw your arms around them & say, "I don't want you to hurt. I don't want you to feel this way. So don't do this because I know it is going to hurt you."
Or if somehow we could crawl into the flesh of our aging parents & know what it is like to be trapped in a body that won't function anymore that doesn't see the way it used to that doesn't hear the way it used to that can't handle things the way it used to, & to know their frustrations because of all that.
SUM. Oh, if only we could all learn what it means to be "compassionate".
3. Finally, Paul says, "Forgiving each other." Now that you are kind & compassionate, learn to forgive. Forget those things that have caused rifts in the family - that have brought division & strain. Forgive so that healing can take place & wounds disappear.
CONCL. This morning, if you're a mother living in a comfortable home, the spring flowers are in bloom, your children are healthy, & you have a loving husband - then thank God for all your blessings. Today is a happy day for you.
But not everyone fits into that mold, & I think it is important for you to know that God has not forgotten you. He wants to bring His healing into your life & home & family, too.
ILL. The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is the way long?" she asked. Her guide answered: "Oh yes, & the way is hard, & you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young mother was happy, & she did not believe anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, & gathered flowers for them along the way. The sun shone on them, life was good, & the young mother said, "Nothing will ever be better than this."
Then night came, & storm, & the path was dark, & the children shook with fear & cold. The mother drew them close & covered them with her cloak. The children said, "Oh Mother, we’re not afraid, for you are near, & no harm can come."
The Mother said, "This is better than the brightness of the day, for I have taught my children courage."
Morning came, & there was a hill ahead, & the children climbed & grew weary but she said to them, "A little patience & we’ll soon be there." So the children climbed, & when they reached the top, they said, "We could not have done it without you, Mother."
And the Mother, when she lay down that night, looked up at the stars & said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned perseverance in the face of difficulty. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today I've given them strength."
With the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth - clouds of war & hatred & evil, & the children groped & stumbled.
So the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light." The children looked up & saw above the clouds an everlasting Glory, & it guided them & brought them beyond the darkness. That night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
The days went on, & weeks & months & years, & the Mother grew old & frail. But her children were strong & tall, & walked with courage.
And when the way was hard, they helped their mother; & when the way was rough they lifted her, for she was light as a feather. And at last they came to golden gates flung wide open.
The Mother said to them: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know that the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, & their children after them."
The children said, "You will always walk with us mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood & watched her as she went on alone, & the gates closed after her, & they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours will always be much more than just a memory." (Adapted from Richard Burdette, SC)
INVITATION:
