ALONE, YET NOT LONELY
"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6.
Leadership is a great privilege! But it comes with so much responsibility that can drive one to a lonely place. A recent survey of pastors conducted by the UK Fellowship of Independent Evangelical Churches (FIEC) found that a significant number of pastors feel lonely and under-supported in their ministry. Another survey of business leaders carried out in 2011 and reported in the Harvard Business Review found that 50% of the respondents experienced feelings of loneliness. In addition, loneliness increases the likelihood of experiencing depression by 15% and anxiety by 13%. It also increases blood pressure, heightening the risk of stroke and heart disease. We all can feel lonely at times. But the truth is, we are never alone. Jesus has given us the Holy Spirit to comfort us. So loneliness should be a time to become conversant with God.
"Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me." John 16:32.
Only those who abide in the presence of God can go through circumstances of life alone, and yet not be lonely.
"At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them." 2 Timothy 4:16.
Apostle Paul also knew the pain of loneliness! After years of faithful service to the Lord, he found himself in a dark Roman prison. In his hour of need, many abandoned him. But the Lord stood with him and strengthened him. The Lord is always with us—even if we can’t perceive Him. "When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me." Psalm 27:10. Even when those closest to us abandon us in our darkest hours, God will remain with us. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4.
"6 I am like a pelican of the wilderness; I am like an owl of the desert. 7 I lie awake, And am like a sparrow alone on the housetop." Psalm 102:6-7.
The Psalmist here paints a picture of loneliness, gloom, sadness and depression! There are many people today who feels exactly like the three birds mentioned above. Do you feel like a pelican in the wilderness, an owl in the desert, or a sparrow on a rooftop? Loneliness makes you feel isolated, overlooked, unloved, deserted, useless, and unwanted. Sometimes you can be surrounded by crowds of people, yet still lonely. Many times, loneliness results from a crisis due to the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a separation. You have tried to have friends, but countless times facing rejection. So a deep inner wound develop. Loneliness leads to insecurity. An insecure person has no sense of self-worth. So they build walls and close themselves in. Sadly loneliness can lead to sorrow, loses and tragedy. In a survey of heart attack patients, 50% percent were feeling depressed and lonely when they had the attack. Those who have suicidal tendency also feel deep loneliness. Another survey also points out that 80% of those seeking help from a psychiatrist did so because of loneliness. But I will like you to know, when no one else understands how you feel, Jesus does. You are never alone.
"But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” 1 Kings 19:4.
Prophet Elijah had defeated the prophets of Baal in one of the most memorable confrontation ever witnessed in the Bible. Instead of being celebrated for bringing righteousness back to the nation of Israel, he was being hunted by Jezebel. Elijah was depressed! So he went into the wilderness alone, and prayed that he would die. Are you like Elijah? Have you been driven into caves and the wilderness by the circumstances of life? Caves where you take refuge when your heart is wounded. A place of self pity, inferiority complex and low self esteem. The cave is a dark, lonely and depressing place to be. If you’re struggling with depression, talk to God about it today. Ask Him to forgive you. Tell Him to empower you to let go of self pity and anger. Read and meditate on the promises of God in the Bible. Spend time giving thanks to God. Get proper rest. Don’t quit. Keep your eyes and thoughts to God. Remember, just as He was with Elijah, God will never, ever leave you.
In this time of social distancing, we may be isolated, but we are never alone! The Lord God is always with us.
WHAT TO DO?
1. You need to recognize the presence of God.
The Lord is right there beside you when you're alone. Hebrews 13:5. There's no place on earth where He is not present. Abide in His presence daily. "And He said, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14. Spend time resting in His presence. Take time to seek God. Cultivate His Presence. Invite Him into your life. Meditate on the Word. Let it fill your heart with faith. Live with a continuous attitude of worship, praise and thanksgiving. Separate from everything and anything that will keep you from His love and presence.
2. Communicate with God.
Prayer is a great comfort in lonely times. It is an antidote to loneliness. Talk to God and let Him speak to you. You can talk to Him anytime, anywhere, anyplace, and He understands how you’re feeling.
3. Use your time well.
Loneliness has a tendency to demoralize you if you just sit around and do nothing! Often, lonely people don’t take care of themselves. Paul was alone in the prison, yet he used that time to get better. "When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments." 2 Timothy 4:13. He refused to sit around, doing nothing. If you're lonely, utilize your time. Resist the temptation to do nothing. Don’t fill your time with empty and meaningless things that play on your soul and intensify your loneliness.
4. Don't rehearse your pain over and over.
Despite being abandoned in the prison, Paul did not hold a grudge. When no one supported him at his trial, he prayed, “May it not be counted against them.” The man of God wasn’t bitter toward God or anyone for his lonely situation. So don't allow resentment to build up in your life. Be a better person, not bitter.
5. Practice forgiveness.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” Ephesians 4:32. Forgiveness is a choice, and it gives us the opportunity to move forward rather than remaining a victim. Forgiving is letting go of what you're holding against God, others and yourself, so that you can move forward.
6. Seek ways to help others.
Paul was lonely and in prison, yet he never forgot his life's goal: to win people to Christ. If you are feeling lonely, look for ways you can uplift others. Reach out to someone in need today.
7. Stay in the Word of God.
Alone in a prison and as he closed his second letter to Timothy, Paul requested something: "Bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas when you come—and the books, especially the parchments." 2 Timothy 4:13. The parchments were probably copies of the Old Testament—though he didn’t have many more years to live, Paul wanted the Scriptures and some books, too. The parchments and books had guided his heart and mind for many years. Paul longed for their comfort and encouragement once again. Let the Bible be your companion.
8. Have a daily schedule.
Do you have a daily routine? Start each day with a plan of a few things that you will do.
"teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen." Matthew 28:20.
If you are already born again, it is time for you to re-dedicate your life to God and ask for his Help to overcome loneliness today. He'll never abandon you! Perhaps you don’t have any relationship with Jesus, why not come to Him today so that He can heal your broken heart. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3. You need to come to Jesus today and accept Him as your Lord and Saviour. Simply say this prayer: “Lord God, I come to You today. I acknowledge that I am a sinner who needs Your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the Cross to save me and He resurrected on the third day. I confess Jesus as my Lord and Saviour and surrender my life to Him today. I invite Jesus into my heart today. By this prayer, I know I’m saved. Thank you Jesus for saving me and making me a child of God. Amen.
I need thee, O I need thee;
every hour I need thee!
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to thee.
PRAYER POINTS:
1. Father, I know Your presence is with me, so I’m going to rest in You always, in Jesus name.
2. When the journey seems long, O Lord, help me to remember that You are with me, in Jesus name.
3. I need You, Lord, when I have no one to talk to. Be with me through this trial, in Jesus name.
4. Father, my heart aches! Please send Your Comforter to me and take this loneliness away, in Jesus name.
5. Holy Spirit, I come before You to ask that You comfort everyone going through loneliness, in Jesus name.
6. Give us strength, O Lord, to carry on, when we are down and out and have no one to turn to, in Jesus name.
7. Thank You, O Lord, for answering my prayers.
