FORGIVENESS THE KEY TO THE FINAL RESOLUTION OF FAILURE
Failure is not final with the Father. Forgiveness is the key to the resolution of a relationship failure such as a family feud that is longstanding and most likely rooted in a dysfunctional family of origin.
Did you and a sibling ever get into a fuss? And who at one time or another has not held a grudge - probably over something trivial.
Whenever mama served fried chicken for dinner, me and my sister would fuss over who would get the wishbone piece of chicken. Then we could hardly wait until, after eating, we each took hold of one of the two prongs of the V-shaped wishbone to see who would get the longest and who would get the shortest end of the wishbone - the idea being that the one who got the longest would have their wish come true.
Every time we did this, my sister always got the longest and I would get the shortest – until one day I realized what she was doing. As each of us took hold of our prong of the bone, she would deceptively place her index finger against the apex where the two parts fused and when we pulled, the pressure applied at the top by her finger guaranteed she got the longest end of the wishbone. Trivial indeed nonetheless hurtful at the time!
There are of course more serious matters that cause hard feelings and they are weightier because they affect relationships. Family feuds last a lifetime unless steps are taken to resolve them promptly in a Godly manner. And forgiveness is the key to the final solution of a failure in relationships.
Could it be that one of the many reasons God is not through with us yet is so that we can get our affairs of forgiveness in order? God Himself is our model:
God acted in love to redeem all sinners from broken relationships with Him and to restore repentant sinners to such a high level of friendship and fellowship with our Maker that we are called children of God. As such, we are bound for the glorious experience that awaits us in heaven.
How much sweeter heaven will be for those who, in humility, swallow their pride and allow God to do what only God can do – “in all things work for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
In His dealings with the most prominent yet dysfunctional biblical family - filled with conceit, marked by deceit, and disgraced by a cheat - God worked over a very long period of time to turn that family around and set them in the right direction – to preserve His plan of redeeming the lost and restoring the repentant to favor.
Today we focus on two estranged brothers, Esau and Jacob, and how they were restored to a right relationship with God and with each other. Our scripture lesson begins with bad blood in Genesis 27:41 . . . and our lesson ends with good will in Genesis 33:1-11 . . .
Some of the most dysfunctional families that ever lived are found among those whose stories are told in the Bible. Heading the list are the patriarchs, and their families – the people associated with the covenant God made with Abraham and later confirmed with his son Isaac - whose marriage to Rebekah was blessed by the birth of twin sons Esau and Jacob who would carry on the family name and the redemptive task assigned to the descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
The brothers’ feud began in the womb, and was headed toward continuing all the way to the tomb, but God, over a long period of time, worked in hearts and minds of family members as they matured to change attitudes and actions. Folks:
A lot of bad things are changed by God for the better when God’s people trust what God tells them, grow into His likeness, thereby mature in their Faith.
That said, let me ask you a question: Who wouldn’t get upset if they were, first of all, suckered into selling their birthright privilege of getting a double portion of the inheritance from their father; and, then, to make matters worse, have the father’s blessing of position and power stolen by a scheming brother and mother!
However, with the passing of years – the father living longer than expected, Jacob being dispatched to live and work with kinfolks in a foreign land, yet gaining wealth while there, Esau receiving a secondary blessing from his father (the best Isaac could do under the circumstances), Esau then taking charge of his father’s affairs for as long as his father lived – everyone in the family had been given time to mature and “let bygones be bygones”. At this point in their lives, no one could complain about their lot in life. All were doing good!
Even so, there was unfinished business that every one of them would have to tend to if the Lord’s plan for Israel was going to move forward. Jacob knew this – and, it appears that Esau had already settled it in his own mind. Over time!
It’s good to see that Jacob had a heart after all - or it might be better to say that he had a change of heart and therefore felt in his heart a longing to go home and be with the family he left behind, and to make amends with his brother whom he had wronged and now knew that if both of them were to continue the task God had entrusted to their grandfather and father, and that now had been entrusted to them, there must be reconciliation - for their sakes and for the sake of generations to follow. Aren’t we glad for reconciliation! We could use more of it in each and every aspect of our lives today, could we not? “Be ye reconciled to God!” Be ye reconciled to your brother, in Christ! Be ye reconciled to yourself and be like Christ!
One of the most difficult challenges we face in dealing with family issues is to get across the point that if one member of the family has a problem, the whole family has a problem.
A solution that fits one should fit all, but the initiative has to be taken by a mature family member who has come to his senses. In this case, Jacob took the first step of humility. Jacob humbled himself before God, then went to Esau, albeit with an abundance of caution plus a back-up plan in case something went wrong. It never hurts to be cautiously optimistic!
As he approached Esau, Jacob went to the extreme of humbling himself - bowed not once, not twice, but seven times to signify his deep sense of remorse with regard to his taking Esau’s rightful place as the recipient of Isaac’s special blessing.
But then it became evident that Esau no longer held a grudge against Jacob inasmuch as he “ran” to meet him . . . kissed him . . . wept. Weeping is wonderful for repenting . . . rejoicing over a sinner that has come home . . . reconciling oneself unto God and to one another. “All is forgiven” is the message proclaimed by this wonderful experience of weeping!
Being willing to forgive, and acting upon it, paves the way to move forward with excitement and good will. Esau considered the abundance of gifts presented to him by Jacob to be signs of God’s goodness to his brother. He was so proud!
To God he gave the glory for taking care of his brother!
With a heart full of gratitude, Jacob gave. With a heart full of compassion, Esau at first rejected but, after persuasion, accepted his brother’s gifts - to affirm Jacob’s newfound favor in his sight as well as in God’s sight. What a powerful testimony is given here to the concept of the giving and receiving of “grace”: “For therefore (by receiving these gifts), I have seen thy face, as if I had seen the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me” (KJV). “I have seen your face and it is like seeing God’s face since you have accepted me” (HSBC).
What a joy it is to see the tender, compassionate, forgiving face of God in those who are called children of God . . . who forgive . . . who act in good faith.
The Christian life is a journey of faith. Christians are not always accepted by those who do not understand what the journey is all about. Yet as long as we who name the name of Christ follow in His steps and, just as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven us, we forgive those who trespass against us and accept them back into our friendship and fellowship, it may be said by those we minister to: “I have seen your face and it is like seeing God’s face since you have accepted me.”
God deals graciously with us. He forgives us. He accepts us as His children. He expects His children to extend grace and mercy to others. May we each have the courage to do just that! Amen.
